tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-119971202024-03-07T03:15:43.684-06:00Love's Journey.Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.comBlogger584125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-504148694192313502017-11-20T13:59:00.000-06:002017-11-20T13:59:52.045-06:00Life UpdateWell it has been some time since I have posted.<br />
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Life has settled into a routine again and we have had one of the most challenging and most wonderful years to date.<br />
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Being a stay at home mom is most certainly the Hardest Job I have ever had. Why? I believe it is because it is a constant job. You do not clock in or out...EVER. You are on the clock 24/7.<br />
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I appreciate the occasional breaks now more than I ever have.<br />
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I have a husband who is dedicated to his family and his calling. He works harder than anyone I know. He works 40+ hours a week at the church and then comes home and engages with his family. He is truly incredible.<br />
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I have a strong willed, incredibly smart and funny 2.5 year old who keeps me on my toes always. He pushes every boundary 1000 times a day and gets into things I don't even think to set a boundary for.<br />
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I have an almost 1 year old who is most definitely a Mama's Boy. He is sweet and clingy and tolerant of his brother's bulldozer behaviors.<br />
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I am thankful that our days have a nice routine to them.<br />
Easton is the first one awake in the mornings, he usually wakes me up with his screaming or kicking his bed after he has gotten bored. He helps me make breakfast (he LOVES to be a big helper). Grayson usually sleeps later and he has breakfast later.<br />
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We spend the mornings playing or running short errands. We play in the house or outside in the back yard.<br />
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I usually try to have lunch ready early in the 12:00 hour. After lunch I put on a movie and I rock Grayson until he falls asleep while Easton watches the movie. I put Grayson in his bed and tuck him in and then go and rock Easton for just a few minutes and then put him in bed. They are usually both in bed napping by 1:10pm and they usually nap for 3 hours as long as the house is quiet. Which means I camp out in my room so the house stays quiet and I get my own quiet time.<br />
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I read my bible and watch Netflix as I write usually. I have a little desk area set up right in front of the window so I have a pretty view as I am relaxing and getting alone time. This has become a vital time for me personally as I have always required alone time to thrive. I am very thankful that both boys nap at the same time for an extended period of time.<br />
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It has been extremely beneficial as I have recently begun speaking to our women at church and this has become my study time for that as well.<br />
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After nap time we usually try to go back outside before it gets too dark and I have to start making dinner.<br />
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Once Daddy comes home one of us makes dinner while the other plays with the boys. We then all sit down to dinner together.<br />
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After dinner is usually bath time, play time and then quiet time before bed time.<br />
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I will rock both boys as they drink their milk and then I tuck Easton into bed and Daddy puts Grayson down. Both typically sleep through the night now.<br />
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We have such a nice rhythm of life.<br />
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Things are going very well at the church and we love it there so much.<br />
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I am looking forward to what this next year has in store for us. I am praying that we will be able to buy a small house close to the church with a fenced yard.<br />
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Thank you Father for a wonderful year. Thank you for Your faithfulness and strength to get through the tough moments.<br />
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I want to be a better mother in the new year.<br />
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In Jesus' name. Amen.<br />
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<br />Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-71173269631486686772017-03-13T21:30:00.002-05:002017-03-13T21:30:56.309-05:00Failure to VictoryAs a mom for of two boys I feel like a failure a lot. Especially since last November when our lives began to change very rapidly.<br />
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In November my husband accepted a position as a full time Children's Pastor in a different part of the state. In December I quit working to become a stay at home mom. At the end of the month we added our second child to the family. In January my husband began to commute 4 hours to begin his new job, I stayed home with the new born while he took our toddler with him to stay at his parents in our new city. At the end of January we officially moved to our new city and reunited our family of FOUR and jumped into our new position with both feet.<br />
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To say things were a little chaotic and stressful is an understatement but through it all God was faithful. However things began to show up in my life that had not been there previously. I began to act out in anger and frustration in the stress toward my toddler. I have never been great with toddlers and thought I would be fine with my own...nope. I am not a great toddler mom. I have no idea how to parent a toddler, how to discipline a toddler, how to teach a toddler and the stress activated a battle I did not know I would face. The battle against anger and frustration. It is an ugly battle.<br />
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In the past month the Lord has really being to show me how my anger and frustration are a sin and how they are affecting my son who has also begun to act out in anger and frustration. It's a heart breaking thing to see in him act like me and is a knife to my heart every time.<br />
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The Lord is so merciful and gracious though and He has been pouring His love and Spirit out on me and encouraging me in this battle.<br />
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He has been reassuring me that I am called to be these boys' mom. That I am His child and His blood runs through my veins. That He is right here with me in this battle and that together we WILL be victorious. That I am not a failure, I am human and a sinner with battles to fight.<br />
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I can remember sitting outside a few weeks ago and crying out to Him after a particularly rough day with my toddler who is very strong willed and defiant and telling God that this is the exact reason I was unsure for so long about having kids. I knew that there may be something in me that could damage and hurt them because of the way that I grew up even though I have prayed and prayed for every generation curse to be broken and for every wound to be healed.<br />
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I now realize that sometimes those things have to be faced in the heat of the moment, when you are face to face with them, on the front lines, in the direct line of fire from the enemy. So that is where I currently find myself.<br />
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Anger and frustration have come up in me from deep below, from what I believe to be a generational curse and by the Power of MY Savior Jesus it will END with me and my children WILL NOT have to fight this when they get older and have children.<br />
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I am not a failure unless I decide to quit and I WILL NOT QUIT. My boys deserve better, they deserve for me to fight this battle and win this battle with Jesus.<br />
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Our days have gotten better but I still mess up and yell or get too angry. I am not proud of this battle within me. But neither will I hide it for the bible says that "everything exposed by the light becomes visible - and everything that is illuminated becomes a light." Ephesians 5:11<br />
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On the day I cried out to the Lord in my back yard I opened my bible and was so encouraged by His Word and a little devotion that was there that read: "We can be the mother our children need because God divinely chose us for the job. Don't doubt it. He perfectly matches each mother with each child. He knows what he is doing. And aren't we glad!" Yes, yes I am glad that God chose me to be these boys mom and that He knew what I would face and how I can and will be victorious, He knew my shortcomings and battles before I have ever faced them and He knows the ones that will come.<br />
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Motherhood is not an easy job, it is the hardest thing I have ever done and it is a calling and God never leaves us or forsakes us...where He calls us He equips us and it may be that He equips us right in the heat of a battle and not before but He will always equip us and give us what we need to do what He has created us to do.<br />
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I battle anger, frustration and feelings of failure on a daily basis and God is with me every step of the way. VICTORY COMES WITH JESUS.Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-75212548761900440702016-06-22T21:35:00.001-05:002016-06-22T21:35:28.386-05:00Heart Change…the HARD way…<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I remember when I decided that I could indeed GO in order to spread the gospel, and by go I mean to another state.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You see my husband and I had a wonderful position at a wonderful church but it was 10-12 hours away from family. We chose to leave that position to move closer to family.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Well now it is 2.5 years later and I have had a complete change of heart…</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I have learned many lessons in these 2.5 years one of which is this:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Distance does not have to have anything to do with relationship. Crazy talk it seems. I thought that too when we lived 10-12 hours away. However, I have found since being back in our home state that our relationship with our families has not changed much. We still love each other the same and we still get excited to see each other when we can. The only difference is that we get to see them a few more times a year.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">What has happened in my heart recently is this...either way (home state or away) we must make a sacrifice. We must either sacrifice a bit of time with our families…not all time with our families but most…or ministry.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are CALLED TO GO. We are CALLED TO MINISTER. We do not love our families any less we just realized that we must GO and DO what GOD has CREATED US TO DO. We simply have not been able to do that here unfortunately. Trust me we tried and have kept trying and have met walls everywhere we have turned, some have been very ugly and hurtful walls.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">God doesn’t care what it takes to teach us the things that we need to learn, that is the bottom line.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I prefer to learn lessons without all the pain, heartache, and difficulty but I must be absolutely hardheaded because I seem to learn most of my lessons the hard way.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So there it is. We are READY once again to GO. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I honestly cannot wait until God sends us out again! I am ready <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://2" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="2">tomorrow</a> LORD SEND US!</span></p>Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-52353782979250705012016-02-01T09:44:00.001-06:002016-02-01T09:44:39.358-06:00Love<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">While watching Biggest Loser last night and hearing the story of one of the contestants, I was once again reminded that you just never know what people go through and what brings them to the place they are in. They could be the rudest, meanest, fattest, skinniest, happiest, well put together, falling apart person you have ever met and you have no idea what they have walked through and why they are those things on the outside.</span><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My job often reminds me of this too. Patients come in and can sometimes be very rude or short tempered and when they check out or maybe by the next visit they have transformed into seemingly an entirely different person because they feel better.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We just don't always know what road people have walked or are walking. What pain they may carry around or regrets, guilt, shame, doubts, etc.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The specific story shared on Biggest Loser was of a mother whose son had gotten outside and drown in a pool while she was sleeping. What a devastating story and oh the guilt she is carrying around with her. I cannot even imagine and when I thought about that happening to us I just about lost it all together.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It reminded me of the quote we so often see and I actually posted on social media..."Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about." ~original author unknown</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Think about that. We have no idea what people are facing everyday. We have no idea the heartbreaks they are or have experienced. We have no idea. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If we keep that in mind my hope is that we will love freely, even those who are unpleasant or not very easy to love.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">After all..."But the greatest of these is love." 1Corinthians 13:13b</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I am a firm believer that, as it says earlier in 1Corinthians chapter 13, in verse 8 "Love never fails." I believe this because I have seen in with my own eyes and in my own walk and in how God has called me to walk.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Love never fails. Love is what transformed my life. God's redeeming love and the love of fellow Christians (one in particular) who walked with me through some of my toughest days of healing and transforming (it did not happen over night and it was not a pleasant process, I was not a pleasant person).</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I would not be the person that I am today had they given up and decided that I was too difficult, too unpleasant or too mean to love. Love never fails.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Christ's unfailing, unconditional love continues to be my rock to this day. He is always always there to love me especially when I am at my worst or when I am unlovable. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">What I have typically found is that those who are unpleasant are usually hurting in some way or have a need of some kind. They need love the most.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So I leave you with this...the Love Check</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Read 1Corinthians 13:4-8 and all the places it says love, substitute in your name and see how well you stack up. Don't worry, noone really stacks up but it is a good way to check and see where you are in loving like Jesus.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It is a reality check for me EVERYTIME I do it!</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Happy LOVE month! Let's make it a LOVE year!</span></div><div style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div>Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-80283019718862052642016-01-02T08:51:00.001-06:002016-01-02T08:53:31.629-06:00Restarting<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Oh how I love January.</span><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The hypothetical RESET button of the year!</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I love the opportunity it gives to take a collective breath and begin again so to speak.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I love to look back over the ending year and reflect on the ups and downs and look ahead to the clean, shinny, brand new year. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Fresh with new possibilities and beginnings. I love the feeling of having a "clean slate" again, a place to start anew. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">This year as I look back on the year that is coming to a close I find myself thankful. I am thankful for the hard things that have taught me so much and have helped me to appreciate the good things. I am thankful for freedom and life. I am thankful again this year for the amazing husband that God shares with me and I am thankful that we walked through this past year hand in hand. I am thankful for our little boy who brings so much joy into our lives.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">As I look ahead I cannot help but be excited about the possibilities that lie ahead. We will have a whole year of firsts with our little man and I know God has some new ministry things in store for us and I am so incredibly excited to see what He has up his sleeve. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Each year I seem to find a word that encompasses that particular year...for 2015...LIFE</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We had new LIFE breathed into us after a particularly life draining situation and we experience the birth of our son and the literal bringing of new LIFE. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I feel that for 2016 the word/theme is NEW! </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I hope to use the flipping of the calendar into a new year as a Restarting point, a nice reset or place to begin. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Here's to a fresh new year ahead chock full of HOPE, LIFE & NEW possibilities!</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Lord, Thank you for never leaving us, for walking with us through the muck & mire and through the sunniest days of this past year. I cannot wait to see what YOU have in store for us in this new year. I give you this brand new year and ask that you shape it and mold it as YOU desire. I trust YOU and desire only to follow YOU! In Jesus name. Amen.</span></div><div><br></div>Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-89184119307572914852015-12-16T17:30:00.001-06:002015-12-16T17:30:46.091-06:00Relationships: Just Try<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">So in recent months I have met a few new people in which my initial reaction was not good.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">In some way or another I struggled with them and didn’t quite “click”. I found myself really putting a wall up because of this. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Well in the past week I have found that I actually somewhat enjoy one of the persons. Through that and a great sermon from church <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://0" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0">Sunday morning</a> I want to say something to you and to my future self…</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Just Try.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Often times when it comes to others we want to judge or respond so quickly when really we should just give it some time, we should just try to have relationship before we make a decision about somebody.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">What I have learned is that one person in particular is difficult for me because they are like me…they do things that I have to fight against doing on a DAILY basis. That makes me struggle both with them and with myself. But when I stop to think about it and when I try with them I find a few things that are needed. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">First: I need to be aware of those things in me and be aware that I need to keep fighting them, what better way than being irritated by them in someone else. It gives me great insight into what others feel when they are around me so I can be more aware.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Second: What if everyone who met me never tried to get past my annoyances and my humanness…well I doubt I would have a single relationship.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Third: I would miss out on the good parts about others.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I am finding that there are some things that I really like and enjoy about this person and that ultimately I have been placed in their life and them in mine for reasons that I may never know anything about. Ultimately I am placed in their live to be a light and to love them. Period. But beyond that, if I just try then I may find a friendship that I would not have expected (that is yet to be seen, but is a possibility.)</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So when it comes to relationships (not of the romantic kind) I say….Just Try. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You never know what blessings will come out of it or what learnings.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I am learning that I have a lot of work yet to do in me and that is always a good thing to remember. None of us are finished yet. We are not finished working on ourselves or finished loving others no matter how hard it may be.</span></p>Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-15576350496843603762015-12-09T21:36:00.001-06:002015-12-09T21:36:49.132-06:00Comparison is a Thief & Liar<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Comparison is a thief of joy and life.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">When we begin to compare ourselves to others we are ultimately ripping away the good things that God us given us individually.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Comparison is an ugly and devastating thief and liar.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Comparison lies and says that what someone else has is better or makes them better. Oh dear children of God…WHAT A LIE. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">God does not make mistakes. He did not make a mistake with you. The color of your hair, the build of your body, the place you are in.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">What we must do is:</span></p><p class="" style="text-indent: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">1. Take responsibility for ourselves. If we don’t like our body…are we treating God’s creation right? If we don’t like the place we are in…are we listening to God and in His will alone?</span></p><p class="" style="text-indent: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">2. STOP! Stop looking outside of our Creator for happiness and joy and life. STOP! JUST STOP!</span></p><p class="" style="text-indent: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">3. Be Sweet. Be sweet to and about yourself. Be sweet to and about others. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I find there are two main ways that we use the thief and liar that is comparison. </span></p><p class="" style="text-indent: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">1. To make ourselves MISERABLE!! When we choose to believe the lie that what others have is better that what we have we absolutely make ourselves miserable. Stop and focus on God in your life and where He has you and get real with Him and just LEAVE OTHERS OUT OF IT. It truly is just between you and God!</span></p><p class="" style="text-indent: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">2. To make ourselves “Feel Better”. This is when we look at others and think, hhmmm at least I am doing this better or at least I have this and they don’t. We think that we are making ourselves feel better doing that, but oh NO NO NO don’t you be deceived dear child of God; for that too is a LIE! Our lives were not meant to be compared to others! We were all created by God with our own purposes and plans and God did NOT make a mistake with us or them!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">No we were created to PREACH THE GOSPEL to SHARE GOD’S GREAT LOVE AND SALVATION!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">That is the business we should be attending to and I believe if we are at our Father’s business then…</span></p><p class="" style="text-indent: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">1. We won’t have time to waste comparing ourselves to others</span></p><p class="" style="text-indent: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">2. We will find joy and contentment that we never knew could exist!</span></p><p class="" style="text-indent: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">3. We will find a love for ourselves and others that God created us to have!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">COMPARISON IS A THEIF AND A LIAR. Sweet child of God (talking to me here) DO NOT BE DECEIVED! Take your eyes off them and you and put them on HIM!! Focus on being about our Father’s business! </span></p>Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-23639899042694151802015-10-07T07:35:00.000-05:002015-10-07T07:35:14.807-05:00I have officially reached MOM statusHappy Wednesday!<br />
<br />
I know that I have officially reached MOM status since this is my day off and I have already cleaned the kitchen, living room and done laundry all before 7:30am and before my boys (Hubby and 2 month old) are even out of bed.<br />
<br />
I now sit at my desk with my coffee, computer and the baby monitor writing this! <br />
<br />
I never thought I would be able to rise to MOM status. I have never been one to get up early or to keep up with house work, yet I find myself coming home on lunch just to clean the house and getting up early just to get everything done so that I can spend every moment with my little guy on my off day!<br />
<br />
MOM status...I use the snot sucker and said that I would pass that job on to my Hubby...and I know that if my lil sweet face got bad enough I would use that nasty Nose Frida (even though I returned the one we received as a shower gift).<br />
<br />
MOM status...last weekend I was pooped on TWICE and I didn't even mind. I have been peed on and puked on and I never get to eat when I want or shower often and I DON'T CARE!<br />
<br />
MOM status...I lay awake when I should be sleeping thinking about how to best organize lil man's clothes and how I want to change my schedule so that I can be home with him more.<br />
<br />
MOM status...I have picked my son's nose.<br />
<br />
MOM status...I can change a diaper on my lap in the back seat of the car.<br />
<br />
MOM status...I rarely ride in the front passenger seat of the car.<br />
<br />
MOM status...I plan everything around my son's eating schedule.<br />
<br />
MOM status...when I shop...the first place in the store I go is to the baby section.<br />
<br />
So many of these things I feared I would never instinctively do, I was a selfish person before my son because I could be, to some extent.<br />
<br />
I feared I would never be the mom that put her child first or kept a clean house...now don't look at my floors or you will see the truth about how clean my house really is ;-) ha look at that MOM joke.<br />
<br />
All this to say....I woke up this morning and realized that I can do this and I am doing this...not perfectly but I am doing it. My son is safe and well and happy and my husband and I are in love with him and still in love with each other and find time to spend together.<br />
<br />
I am beyond thankful to know that this was in me...I never believed it.<br />
<br />
I know I will never be perfect and I will get things wrong A LOT, and that my house may never be fully clean and I may go to work everyday with spit up on my shoulder with my dirty hair in a bun for the 100th day in a row....but ultimately I can do this.<br />
<br />
Thank you God for helping me every single day. I give this little boy to You and I thank you for sharing him with me as you share my wonderful husband with me. They are not mine, they are YOURS! Thank you!Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-11654941198932751342015-09-26T13:04:00.004-05:002015-09-26T13:04:50.555-05:00Current RealityHappy Saturday! It is one of my favorite days of the week because I get to spend it with my boys!<br />
<br />
Oh what a week we have had!<br />
<br />
We traveled last weekend so it threw baby boy's schedule off a bit and then mommy got sick Monday night and Tuesday. Wednesday Grandma was in town and we had baby boy's 2 month check up and shots.<br />
<br />
2 month check up:<br />
Weight 12lbs 13.6oz<br />
Length: 24inches<br />
<br />
Our baby boy is growing well and doing great. I fully believe that he is teething very early and that is causing some of the fussiness he has from time to time. Poor lil guy! <br />
<br />
Emotionally this has been a tough week for me. I know that Spiritually I am pretty dry and there are so many heavy things going on that it is the worst time to be Spiritually dry. Not that there is ever really a good time for it.<br />
<br />
I know that I have so much work to do in my heart yet when on earth do I have the time to do it. I know I know this is everyone's battle not just mine.<br />
<br />
I feel like life is spinning rapidly out of control. I literally feel like life is racing at the speed of light and I am here trudging along feebly trying to keep up.<br />
<br />
But truly life is good for the most part I just have work within me that I need to be doing and I can't seem to find a spare minute to work on me. It will come I know it will though.<br />
<br />
I feel like just when we get into a good routine and I can begin to plan some me time, something changes and that goes right out the window. lol<br />
<br />
Not that I am complaining, it is just the way life is right now.<br />
<br />
But I'll be honest where I am is not in a very good place. There is so much yuck in me and so much yuck coming out of me and I hate it so very much.<br />
<br />
I do not like the person I am right now. Not at all.<br />
<br />
It is time for a change. I need it desperately!<br />
<br />
I need to get rid of this JUNK in my heart and mind and re-fill with Jesus, the Word, life, love, hope and all things good and positive.<br />
<br />
That is my goal and I need to push that goal way up in my list of priorities!!<br />
<br />
<br />Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-52667446894737045762015-09-16T10:08:00.000-05:002015-09-16T10:08:03.836-05:00Mid week randomsHappy Wednesday!<br />
<br />
*My baby boy and I are home and he is napping sweetly!<br />
<br />
*I love Wednesdays because I get to be home with him all day!!<br />
<br />
*Fav Days in order: Saturday (family time), Wednesday (mommy baby time), Tuesdays (two hour lunch and it's my most productive day), Thursdays (I work a partial day), Friday (for obvious reasons) then poor Monday comes in dead last (besides the fact that it's Monday it's one of my LONG days at work)<br />
<br />
*I love our house and feel very blessed to be in this home<br />
<br />
*I am already excited about Christmas and cannot wait to start decorating this house<br />
<br />
*I am actually excited about Halloween this year because I think we will actually get Trick or<br />
Treaters here and we have plans to line the walk way with cute pumpkins!!<br />
<br />
*IT FEELS LIKE FALL AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY<br />
<br />
*I love our evening walks to our little downtown courtyard<br />
<br />
*I have fallen in love with coffee all over again<br />
<br />
*I can now eat Tuna again and can't wait for grocery shopping day<br />
<br />
*Being a mom has cured me of laziness...I just can't be lazy any more<br />
<br />
*I love the new Mandalas coloring trend, if I had the time I know I would be completely obsessed<br />
<br />
*I love when my patients get excited to see me back at work, so sweet<br />
<br />
*I just discovered that Netflix has Mr. Roger's Neighborhood and I have had it on all morning and really would love for Easton to like that show when he gets older - I still think it is a GREAT show!<br />
<br />
*Being a mom is the hardest most wonderful thing that I have ever done!<br />
<br />
*I wanna shop so bad (I want new clothes for me and Easton, I want makeup, I want journals, and coloring tools) yeep the shopping bug has hit me but it will just have to stop biting because there are no funds to relieve it<br />
<br />
*Being a mommy makes me even crazier than I already was: I desire some alone time and then when I have it I spend it missing my baby = CRAZY<br />
<br />
*Let's not even talk about the paranoia that comes with becoming a mom = INSANE<br />
<br />
*I talk about my child all the time and post mostly pictures of him on all my social media<br />
<br />
*I think he's waking and ready to eat = BYE NOW <br />
<br />Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-8201478673575921722015-09-09T11:04:00.004-05:002015-09-09T14:04:48.873-05:00It's Not Over by Ricardo Sanchez<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's Not Over - Ricardo Sanchez</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">Chorus</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not over, it's not finished</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not ending, It's only the beginning</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, all things are new, ooh, ooh</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">All things are new, ooh, ooh</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">All things are new, ooh, ooh</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">All things are new, ooh, ooh</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">Verse 1</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">I know it's dark just before dawn</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">This might just be the hardest season you've experienced</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">I know it hurts; it won't be too long</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">You're closer than you think you are</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">You're closer than you've been before</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">So look to the sky - help is on the way</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">Chorus 2</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not over, it's not finished</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not ending; it's only the beginning</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, all things are new, ooh, ooh</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">All things are new, ooh, ooh</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">All things are new, ooh, ooh</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">All things are new, ooh, ooh</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">Verse 2</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">Something is moving, turning around</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">Seasons are changing; everything is different now</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">Here comes the sun piercing the clouds</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">You're closer than you think you are</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">You're closer than you've been before</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">So look to the sky - help is on the way</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">Our God is faithful, He's faithful to say:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">Chorus 3</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not over, it's not finished</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not ending, It's only the beginning</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">Not over, it's not finished</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not ending, it's only the beginning</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, when God is in it,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, all things are new, ooh, ooh</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">All things are new, ooh, ooh</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">All things are new, ooh, ooh</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">All things are new, ooh, ooh</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">Bridge</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, there is no limit</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, it's not over, it's not over!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, there is no limit</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, it's not over, it's not over!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">(Repeat)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, there is no limit</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, it's not over, it's not over</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not over, it's not over!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not over</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not over</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not over</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">Bridge 2</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, there is no limit</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, it's not over, it's not over!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, there is no limit</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">When God is in it, it's not over, it's not over</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not over, it's not over!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not over</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not over</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.75px;">It's not over</span>Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-4302102030367332922015-09-09T11:01:00.001-05:002015-09-09T11:01:05.052-05:00On All Sides YET there is HOPEThere are so many things that I do not understand and that hurt.<br />
<br />
I don't understand why people have become distant<br />
<br />
I don't understand why my nickname has been taken from me<br />
<br />
I don't understand why I get excluded in the little things - take that back I do understand this one, I believe it falls under the category of out of sight and out of mind.<br />
<br />
You see we made the choice to be obedient and follow God's call to another state. We were gone for four years. In that time we did the best we could to stay connected. We traveled several times a year to see our families. We traveled when we didn't really have the time or the money to do it but we wanted to stay connected to our families. We drove 10-12 hours for just a few days of time together.<br />
<br />
Then God called us to move back to our home state and He so graciously placed us in a place that was mostly in the middle of our families. He placed us in a wonderful community where traveling to see our families was much easier.<br />
<br />
Yet we travel. We go.<br />
<br />
Father, I feel like all I feel is hurt right now on all sides. I know it has always been this way in my life, never one thing at a time. It has always been multiple things at once.<br />
<br />
I feel hurt by relationships and the distance even after almost two years of us being back. I feel hurt that they do not try to include us more and come see us more. <br />
<br />
I feel hurt by the change in our calling and ministry.<br />
<br />
I feel hurt for my son that he will be pushed aside (as has already happened) for someone else who gets more time with the family.<br />
<br />
I feel hurt that we have no friends here and the friends we do have never seem to have time for us.<br />
<br />
I feel hurt that things have to be so stinkin hard all at once.<br />
<br />
I feel hurt.<br />
<br />
In all of this God, I feel trust in You. Because I know that you have always loved me and always been faithful to me and that there is a reason behind all of this. I know YOU and that You have a purpose and plan in all of this and that you never let things happen without a purpose. I know you want to teach me something...well many things. I want to learn Father. I want to see what all of this means. I want to be able to pull outside of my hurt and feelings (FEELINGS LIE) and I want to see what You want me to see. I want to see what I need to correct within me and I want to see what I can learn from what I cannot control in others. I want to be better because of all of this. I want to respond instead of react.<br />
<br />
I hurt Father. I know that you see that and know that better than anyone else. I just don't want to stay in this dark place. I want to learn and grow from it, I want to be a better person for it.<br />
<br />
Father I want to change, I want my heart to be clean. I want to love even more and deeper even with the risk of getting hurt. I want to minister to Your people. I want to find our place again. I want to glorify You and point people back to You. I want to move forward.<br />
<br />
It's Not Over.<br />
(Song It's Not Over Ricardo Sanchez)Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-86019793296575100562015-09-08T19:53:00.001-05:002015-09-08T19:53:17.576-05:00Cycling throughI find myself cycling through different levels of what I hope is healing from a major hurt. <div><br></div><div>Currently I am in the Anger & Disgusted stage.</div><div><br></div><div>This is not the most pleasant place to be in. I do not enjoy it at all.</div><div><br></div><div>I can now say...I AM ANGRY! I am angry and hurt and disgusted with the way things went. I am just so angry!</div><div><br></div><div>I know there is ugliness in my heart and I hate that so very much. I have never felt disgusted like this before and I don't like it. And this makes me angry too, to find myself in this place.</div><div><br></div><div>I am just to the point of being able to say these things out loud and my hope is that this is progress of some kind. I don't really know because I have never walked here before.</div><div><br></div><div>I want to forgive, heal and move on. I want the ugliness that is in my heart to be gone.</div><div><br></div><div>I know that anger is a cover emotion for the hurt and disappointment I feel. </div><div><br></div><div>Lord, I give my heart back to you, please help me process this and please clean my heart again! I need you. In Jesus' name, amen.</div>Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-9131894710933851342015-08-29T18:53:00.001-05:002015-08-29T18:53:40.719-05:00My heart...My Son...All Pics<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIg8Jyg88i5ojKrWFKT7wjGiBlJcAaBy78V4dtUjWQQVdrXfdG3JY1NI3RSe7qSkdX_7CbCgAgc-Ha7niMOosXqix5UBvqZBstBEDKwVwTLucfJA9AGRHXfd9GFGU2_dQQgKk1/s640/blogger-image-1546744164.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIg8Jyg88i5ojKrWFKT7wjGiBlJcAaBy78V4dtUjWQQVdrXfdG3JY1NI3RSe7qSkdX_7CbCgAgc-Ha7niMOosXqix5UBvqZBstBEDKwVwTLucfJA9AGRHXfd9GFGU2_dQQgKk1/s640/blogger-image-1546744164.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a 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src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF3o926nSVS0Rjc-5dnFTg8ENSVruMbb-I5a1ugmwS5-jfehiRAjrUbhfblTWon_7Zy1OHzip67sKVDeczNRyUx39I221rVp_xfPrf902xTSElBlSs15S7qLQ9dDOzsOIzWjys/s640/blogger-image--1645056984.jpg"></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTElD9Y7mbYWgXUkLbSw10Opj_B7MV2tljiIqzK22WD1roAE3ALBC8vD9vpTn7CnJtBjOV4pLKYs7Ubiz9XnDkFOb42-lVrNiyxIlYvaVHu1KW2GF1QbP-xRWJ3SybpAemj3bL/s640/blogger-image-2121785449.jpg"></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIg8Jyg88i5ojKrWFKT7wjGiBlJcAaBy78V4dtUjWQQVdrXfdG3JY1NI3RSe7qSkdX_7CbCgAgc-Ha7niMOosXqix5UBvqZBstBEDKwVwTLucfJA9AGRHXfd9GFGU2_dQQgKk1/s640/blogger-image-1546744164.jpg"></div>Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-10132021191698600252015-08-28T09:15:00.002-05:002015-08-28T09:15:19.106-05:00Wrap Me In Your ArmsLord I fail you so often yet at every turn you are still there arms wide open.<br />
<br />
This is one of the things I want people to know about my Heavenly Father. In a world so full of conditions and harsh judgments there is a God who is Judge but is loving and kind and wants the very best for his children and is always always waiting for them to come to Him so that he can LOVE and HOLD and HELP and COMFORT.<br />
<br />
Why is it so hard for us to turn to him first. Why is it so easy for me to walk away. Why do I neglect Him over and over..and why and how can He still be there waiting for me with Absolute Unconditional Love?<br />
<br />
It is hard for my human mind and heart to comprehend because I live in a world of conditional love and brokenness and sin. It is hard to fathom that there really is someone who will ALWAYS love you no matter what you do or don't do.<br />
<br />
We humans certainly struggle to love that way and often times we remove our love based on some condition we have set for people and we have no idea that we are even doing it. When others do not perform the way we expect or demand. When others fail us. When people, human people, fail us we remove our love. It is common place in our world.<br />
<br />
This is not how God loves. He loves without condition. He never leaves us or forsakes us.<br />
<br />
I have experienced this over and over and over and over again.<br />
<br />
How many of us would walk away if our spouse cheated? Yet how many times do I cheat on God?<br />
<br />
How many of us would walk away if someone we loved stopped talking to us or spending time with us? Yet how often do I completely neglect God, I don't talk to him or spend time with him, yet He is still there waiting.<br />
<br />
How many of us would stick around someone who constantly doubted what we can do? Yet how many times do I doubt what God says, promises even?<br />
<br />
I didn't sit down today to write such an in your face post, in fact it was going in the opposite direction but here it is what God is speaking to my heart and it hurts to type it and it hurts to read it and it hurts to know that it is all true about me<br />
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Life gets busy. Life IS hard. Life HURTS. I am so exhausted and worn out from life that I don't shower some days, there are days I don't eat any real food until dinner time. I stay in the same pajamas many days in a row. I have bitterness and ugliness in my heart toward people who have hurt me. This is the ugly truth. This is what God wanted me to see this morning, this and...<br />
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He is screaming....no WHISPERING as only God can do...I AM HERE DAUGHTER, I AM RIGHT HERE, I AM WAITING FOR YOU TO RETURN TO ME, I AM WAITING TO HEAL YOU, I AM WAITING TO GIVE YOU REST, I AM HERE RIGHT HERE. HOW I LONG TO HOLD YOU AND ROCK YOU AND SOOTHE YOU. COME TO ME DAUGHTER AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST AND RESTORATION. I AM HERE, IT IS NOT TOO LATE, YOU HAVE NOT STRAYED TOO FAR.<br />
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As I sit here with the baby monitor turned up watching my baby boy sleep the image that pops in my head as God said those words to me is the middle of the night feedings when I am quietly rocking my baby boy and feeding him(soothing him), he's curled in my arms on my lap and he is peaceful, he knows that mama is there, he feels my arms around him, he's enjoying the warm milk from the bottle, he's wrapped up nice and warm, he feels my breath on his forehead and he knows that he is safe and home.<br />
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That is what God longs for us to feel. To allow ourselves to be wrapped up in His arms safe and home. With all the world still spinning around us in all of its darkness and strife.<br />
<br />
"THERE IS A GOD WHO LOVES ME<br />
WHO WRAPS ME IN HIS ARMS<br />
THAT IS THE PLACE WHERE I'M CHANGE<br />
AND THAT'S WHERE I BELONG<br />
TAKE ME TO THAT PLACE, LORD<br />
TO THE SECRET PLACE WHERE<br />
I CAN BE WITH YOU<br />
YOU CAN MAKE ME LIKE YOU<br />
WRAP ME IN YOUR ARMS<br />
WRAP ME IN YOUR ARMS<br />
WRAP ME IN YOUR ARMS"<br />
~ Michael Gungor<br />
<br />
Thank you Lord for wrapping me up just now. I need you so much. I wanna stay wrapped in your arms all day everyday.<br />
<br />Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-25637624550499597862015-08-27T11:25:00.000-05:002015-08-27T11:25:00.963-05:00FriendshipFriendship is one of the most important aspects of life...I know that now.<br />
<br />
It was so easy to take advantage of it when I had easy access to my friends daily or weekly...even monthly.<br />
<br />
However I have learned in this last year and a half how important friendship is and how easy it is to take advantage of and how difficult it is to be without friends close by.<br />
<br />
When Mr. Wonderful and I moved back to our home state from Missouri, the state we'd lived in for four years at that point, we knew we were leaving some of the best friends we had ever had. It was one of the hardest things we have ever done and in the days, weeks, months and year and a half since it has become harder and harder to be without those precious friends in our life.<br />
<br />
What has taught me the importance of friendship the most is the lack of friendship here.<br />
<br />
I am typically pretty slow to make friends, especially after a big transition, I tend to fight my my introverted nature to reach outside of myself and make connections. But eventually I need friendships so much that I can pull outside of myself to make them.<br />
<br />
We have been in our new community a year and a half and we have yet to make any lasting connections. And to be honest that has been really really hard. It makes us miss the wonderful friends we have in MO even more. We get to see them rarely yet we keep in close touch.<br />
<br />
We appreciate them now more than ever.<br />
<br />
We have tried and made connections only to have to connections taken away from us for one reason or another.<br />
<br />
Currently we are in search of a new church and in prayer that with that will come Godly and lasting friendships. Fellowship with others who are like us is so vital in our lives.<br />
<br />
Just this year I have had moments that have opened my eyes so widely to that.<br />
<br />
We traveled back to MO for a beautiful baby shower and we were showered in our friendships in that process. We stayed with our great friends for the weekend and I was able to have breakfast with my BFF and coffee with my Bestie (our titles). Those moments are absolutely priceless to me.<br />
<br />
Sitting across the table with my friends who love me unconditionally and know me in all my ugliness and struggle and supporting and loving me in my pregnancy was unbelievable.<br />
<br />
My most vivid memories included:<br />
<br />
Coffee with my Bestie who is also in ministry and being able to tell her my struggles and knowing that she can understand like no other because she understands ministry and she knows me and my heart so well. I can never thank her enough for that time, that precious time however brief that it was...it was life giving.<br />
<br />
Or riding in my BFF's car as we chatted and went here and there just being near and sharing our lives together, it is so easy to be with her, she too knows me and my heart and accepts me completely. She has been with me through every up and down, she has listened and she has allowed me to be a taker in our relationship so much over the past year, she understands my heart and where I have been. Just being with her was life giving....precious precious time.<br />
<br />
It's those most mundane moments those everyday or just one on one moments that I truly miss the most.<br />
<br />
I miss just being able to be together and share moments together. I miss my friends.<br />
<br />
I am praying that new relationships are on the way for us, but I will hold tight to the precious friends we have far away and I will cherish them completely. I know what a true treasure they really are.Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-29005940215693490042015-08-23T02:52:00.001-05:002015-08-23T02:52:21.001-05:00We aren't the only ones...In the recent changes in our life and ministry I have learned a new lesson.<div><br></div><div>I am not the only one who can affect my calling.</div><div><br></div><div>What I mean by that is that there are many involved in the call God places on my life, now this I have always understood, however what I have recently understood from the last ministry position we held is that others can affect or change that calling.</div><div><br></div><div>My husband and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that we were called to our last church by God and that we were supposed to be there to minister for years to come.</div><div><br></div><div>So to say that we were heartbroken when God released us from the church and led us to move on is an understatement. </div><div><br></div><div>This was not how things were supposed to go. </div><div><br></div><div>However God was not surprised by this turn of events and He is faithful in every way! He has walked with us and given us his hand to hold, his Word to breathe life back into us and his Wisdom to glorify Him even in a situation that is very difficult and very heart breaking.</div><div><br></div><div>We have peace that we did what He asked us to do, we went when he said go and we gave all we had to give and then we kept trying to give more and more and at every turn we were shut down. There was nothing WE could do about that. </div><div><br></div><div>Others affected our calling and it is a new lesson for me that this is possoble yet I now know it to be true. </div><div><br></div><div>When you have done all God has asked you to do, when you have given every songle thing you have to give, when you have believed, prayed and fasted for change then it is out of your hands. </div><div><br></div><div>There was the possibility for the ending to be different, I believe God gave every chance. I know we were absolutely not perfect, God did not call us to be, but I know when did all He asked and we tried long after He was telling us...it's ok, it's over, you are free, let go.</div><div><br></div><div>I believe we were released long before I was even willing to hear that, because this was not the call we heard and this was not the way it was supposed to go. But it's okay, God knows, God sees, and God is not surprised. </div><div><br></div><div>He still has a calling for us and I know after some time of re-building we will minister again. </div><div>He will call us, He will open a door and we will answer his call and we will have a vision of what it will look like (a limited vision as we are mere humans) and we will move forward fully and completely without reservation and holdong nothing back even with the new understanding that we may do all we are asked to do and we may give all we are called to give and we may do this right and good as much as human vessels can and in the end others may choose not to accept or allow these things. </div><div>We will give everything even with the understanding that we are not the only ones who affect our calling and sometimes God shifts the tracks and leads us in a different direction because the direction we were called to go has been altered by others and is stealing the life and breath from us.</div><div><br></div><div>You see ultimately it is God who is in control and though we and others affect the call it is God who is leading the way and directing the path and shifting the tracks. He knows when it is time to change direction. </div><div><br></div><div>Our track has been shifted, for a moment I considered just jumping off the train all together, I was tired, I couldn't understand why nothing was changing, I couldn't stop running into the stone wall over and over until the very life had been beaten out of me & God saw and said..ENOUGH, THAT IS ENOUGH IT IS TIME TO GO NOW IT IS TIME TO CHNAGE DIRECTION AND IT IS OKAY.</div><div><br></div><div>It took me a while to understand that I had not failed, I had given everything I had and that was what God asked and called me to do. The end results were not up to me. </div><div><br></div><div>And ultimately it is God who leads us. </div><div><br></div><div>None of this is easy and it certainly isn't they way we expected things to go, but we are not the only ones involved in our calling and now I understand that we aren't the only ones who affect that calling and that is okay because it is God who leads and he is with us and He Has A Purpose and Plan for us and A Future for us.</div><div><br></div><div>I trust you Lord even when I control nothing! It is okay.</div>Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-58792759138474106522015-08-21T16:00:00.000-05:002015-08-21T16:00:16.668-05:00Life Update 8.21.15<br />
So wow...I am a Parent!! That's right I have a SON!!<br />
<br />
Easton Martin Trotter was born July 15th, 2015 at 9:30am via C-Section (he was breech). He weighed in at 8lbs 3oz and was 19.5 inches long. His cry was the most amazing sound I have ever heard!<br />
<br />
Currently it is nap time for our sweet 5 week and 2 day old baby boy and mommy is enjoying a moment of quiet after a few rough hours.<br />
<br />
Oh the many emotions of motherhood. Seriously no one can ever really prepare you for the craziness that is being a mom.<br />
<br />
Paranoia, exhaustion, I want space and then I miss him like crazy, happy, sad, oh the many feelings.<br />
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Oh and the mess...heavens the mess!! The poop and the spit up and the slobber and the pee and the leaking boobs!!<br />
<br />
But oh the sweet moments that more than make up for all of the difficult moments. When that baby boy looks at me or smiles or cuddles into me...I don't care one bit that just this morning I was covered in spit up or poop or peed on. I don't care that he cried for 20 minutes straight because his tummy hurt and there was little I could do but hold him while he struggled. I don't care one bit that he woke up in his car seat while I was pumping and clawed his face to the point of bleeding (yeah that made me feel like a horrible mom)!<br />
<br />
So our days are full of ups and downs of trying to figure each other out and I am absolutely loving every single moment, even the difficult ones, even when I am so tired and exhausted and I don't want to see another dirty diaper.<br />
<br />
Being a mom is the absolute HARDEST thing I have ever done but it is equally the most AMAZING thing I have ever experienced too and I am so thankful for every single moment. I am so thankful for every cry and smile, for every snuggle and dirty diaper, for every sleepless hour that I stare into my baby boys eyes.<br />
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I am so honored that God chose us to be this little boy's parents and I love watching him grow. It doesn't make me sad at all to see him grow and change for I know that is exactly what God created him for. I love seeing him do new things and get stronger and bigger everyday!<br />
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I would not trade this time for anything!<br />
<br />
So life these days are filled with nursing and bottle feeding, changing diapers, rocking, singing, tummy time, naps, pacifiers, snuggles, washing clothes, sorting through clothes to find what fits and does not fit, working toward transitioning to formula before I go back to work and he goes to daycare, working on napping without being rocked so hopefully his transition to daycare is easier, short walks outside, pumping, and just soaking up every single moment as we watch this amazing little happy boy grow.<br />
<br />
He is a joy, he is laid back, he likes to eat and sleep and struggles to poop, he likes to rock and he has already rolled over (belly to back) FOUR times, he nurses well but likes the bottle too, he loves to be swaddled, he adores his Daddy and has five of the best grandparents that love him sooo much.<br />
<br />
His eyes are still blue but Daddy and Boo think they are beginning to turn green, mommy hopes they stay blue like Daddy's.<br />
<br />
At his One Month check up he weighed 10lbs 1oz and was 22.5 inches long and is doing great!<br />
<br />
We are beginning to figure each other out and are settling into a pretty good routine, he eats about every 3 hours (4oz), he is usually awake from 30 mins to an hour after he eats and then he fights sleep and finally naps. He is sleeping anywhere from 2.5-3 hours at night.<br />
<br />
Life is fun and sweet and exhausting and we wouldn't change a thing!<br />
<br />
Marshall is still loving his job and they love him. He is an amazing Daddy and to see those two together just does something in-explainable to my heart! Marshall works so incredibly hard and then comes home and works on the yard or takes the baby or washes dishes, he is so Wonderful. On Friday nights he takes the night shift so mommy can rest (we've just started this so mommy is adjusting).<br />
<br />
In June we stepped down from our position at the church...it was such a difficult decision but it brought so much freedom and life back to us. Sunday we visited a new church, we liked it but are not committed yet. We know that we will have a time of re-building before going back into ministry and what that will look like we have no idea. We know God has a plan for us and that He is with us all the way, in the good and not so good. We are very saddened and surprised at how our last position turned out and that it had to end like it did, that was not what we expected but we know that God is teaching us so much through it all. We know that there is hope and a future for us.<br />
<br />
We love our home and this area and we cannot wait to see what God has in store for our sweet little family.Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-28670977569431278932014-11-08T17:04:00.005-06:002014-11-08T17:04:51.356-06:00Broken vs. Whole<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This weekend I saw once again the clear
differences between children brought up in broken homes vs. whole homes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I recognized a new that broken homes create a
feeling of unsafety that is quite lasting in the hearts and lives of the
children. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I recognized many things in my own 33 year
old self who came from a very broken home but has had the incredible honor to
be a part of a whole family for the last ten years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As I shared my home with three teenagers I
saw a clear dividing line between the two of us who are from broken homes and
the two that are from whole homes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The many differences included:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Safety vs. Danger<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Secure vs. Insecurity<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Freedom vs. Captivity<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The differences hit me so clearly and brought
about a brand new realization that having a mom and a dad who stay committed to
each other and their families makes all the difference in the lives of their
children and I</span><span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’</span><span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m
sure the difference is felt in their own lives as well. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And even though I have been so incredibly
blessed to be a part of a whole family this last ten years the effects of my
broken childhood are still quite lasting and that is surprising and yet not
surprising to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What a difference a firm foundation makes in
the Entire lives of children. Wow!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am thankful for the healing that has occurred
in my life in the last decade but I wonder if there are things that will be
part of who I am that stem from my childhood years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I believe that God can change and heal
completely and believe that He is doing that In my life and heart still to this
day but what a difference that foundation makes in the journey. I would likely
have very different battles to fight yet still battles. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa","sans-serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My thoughts are rambly but I am just
astounded. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-17424710774906449812014-10-27T20:29:00.001-05:002014-10-27T20:29:58.112-05:00When the thief comes...John 10:10 - "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."<br />
<br />
The Bible tells us that we have an enemy and that he is out to steal from us, kill our hopes and dreams, and to destroy us.<br />
<br />
And lately I feel like the enemy is after us in full force...like never before.<br />
<br />
When the thief comes...<br />
<br />
There are memories that are permanently etched into my memory and heart and I believe they are for times like these when the enemy is trying his hardest to take us out.<br />
<br />
I remember one morning after an all night sleepover while I was holding an upset and exhausted precious child...a little girls slips her arm around mine as she was sitting next to me on the bus and she looks up at me with the sweetest most precious face ever, she squeezes me close and says..."Pastor Tabbie, I think you can make anyone on earth happy." <br />
<br />
A moment I'll never forget.<br />
<br />
I remember years and years ago during a Christmas play practice on a Sunday a little girl climbed up into my lap and release all the breath she had...as if she had been holding her breath for months...and she wrapped her arms around me and just lays her head against my chest and falls asleep. This young one no long had a mama and for just a moment of her life God allowed me to wrap my arms around her and hold her as peace overtook her so she could just REST.<br />
<br />
A moment I'll never forget.<br />
<br />
I remember moments when I felt I had absolutely NOTHING to give and God would open a door in a teen's life and allow me to pour Him out into their hearts. Countless hugs, countless conversations, countless altar prayers, countless tears.<br />
<br />
Moments that are etched across my heart for eternity.<br />
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<br />
<br />
So when the thief comes along to steal my calling, to kill my dreams, and to destroy all I have these precious memories and moments to anchor me back to the Hope of Jesus Christ and to remind me of the reason I take every breath that I take.<br />
<br />
Hebrews 6:19 - "We have this Hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."<br />
<br />
I was born to love people. I was born to pray for, challenge, share, hug, love, teach, pour out all of me into the lives of others so that they can have life abundantly and eternally.<br />
<br />
There have been moments lately that I thought the enemy just might have won...and yet I cannot allow that. I cannot allow him to slow me down, time is too precious, lives are too important to God to let that happen.<br />
<br />
If I can spend the rest of my life loving and ministering to people then I will reach Heaven fully depleted and poured out then I will have fulfilled my calling.<br />
<br />
That is all I want. <br />
<br />
I want to pour my life out until there is nothing left to pour. <br />
<br />
I don't want to be tricked or deceived. I don't want the thief to steal or kill or destroy.<br />
<br />
Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-13880601416437021302014-09-15T19:55:00.002-05:002014-09-15T20:00:55.358-05:00Rough Waters & Peace that transcends ALL understanding.You can never really know what lies ahead...<br>
<br>
We are in some rough waters right now, waves, winds & debris that we just did not see coming...but my God is not surprised by our storm at all.<br>
<br>
In the midst of our storm I still get to teach and preach and it is truly an unbelievable thing...Sunday I taught about Peace and how Jesus stands GUARD of our Heart when we take our struggles and storms to Him in prayer.<br>
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I had the picture in my head of Jesus standing guard of my own heart in all of His perfect armor and fighting off the enemy of my heart.<br>
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I know that is the only reason that I am even standing at this point. I know that Jesus is indeed standing GUARD of my heart and providing a Peace that truly transcends all understanding.<br>
<br>
My lack of emotion in this storm is evidence enough of Jesus standing GUARD! Anyone who knows me at all knows that emotions run STRONG in this woman's heart and so the fact that I have not gotten caught up in this recent storm we are facing is most certainly JESUS!! ALL JESUS!<br>
<br>
There are just things that you can't know ahead of time and if you did you would not find yourself learning to STAND and being GUARDED by Jesus himself.<br>
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I for one am quite thankful that we could not see ahead as I know that if we could things would likely be different than they are right now and I know that we are standing where we are supposed to be standing. I believe that with all of my heart. I really do.<br>
<br>
Standing in the midst of a storm is not easy. Think about hurricane force winds and rain that pelts against you and drenches you. Think about rising waters and large powerful waves. Think about lightning that knocks you right off your feet! Flying debris. No, standing in the midst of a storm can ONLY be done if JESUS IS STANDING GUARD.<br>
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I am beyond thankful for my Jesus and His love and protection and strength and wisdom and hope.<br>
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I do have Peace. I do have Hope. It doesn't make sense at all that I am able to have these things except that Jesus offers them freely to all who will receive.<br>
<br>
Rough waters. Winds. Debris.<br>
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Storm.<br>
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PEACE.<br>
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HOPE.<br>
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JESUS.<br>
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<br>Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-44170152350326769562014-07-31T10:04:00.001-05:002014-07-31T10:04:53.887-05:00Love...I have been focused on LOVE these days and well let's face it...I have been focused on LOVE for a long long time.<br />
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Hence the title of my blog...Love's Journey<br />
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Love is what pulled me out of the mire.<br />
Love was my soft place to land.<br />
Love was my cushion during correction and learning.<br />
Love held my hand.<br />
Love became my name.<br />
Love drove me on.<br />
Love held me up.<br />
Love cushioned my falls.<br />
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Through it all Love has Never Failed.<br />
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I grew up scared and uncertain. I made a lot a lot of really bad choices, choices based off my environment and the things I had learned in that environment. I made choices out of ignorance and blindness. Yet even in those dark years when I did not know or live for God, HE LOVED ME and HIS LOVE protected me.<br />
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I was rescued by God in my early early 20's and that is when the serious battles for myself began. I battled addictions, I battled insecurities, I battled ignorance, I battled memories and past hurts - heart shattering hurts. Yet God's Love pulled me through and is what gave me the hope and strength to not give up and to keep fighting even when I could have stopped at good enough. His love and His love through others rescued me from drowning in defeat and brokenness.<br />
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When my journey began to shift toward dreams being realized it was Love that paved the way for a brand new road, one that I had never before traveled. Several roads actually that I had never traveled. And when fear and doubts threatened to over take me it was LOVE that held me tight and whispered reassurance into my heart.<br />
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And now when I stand in one of the hardest places I have ever before stood (how is it possible to even say that after all I faced - yet it is true) I know it is LOVE that is helping me stand firm and not give up. I know that it will be LOVE that makes the difference here.<br />
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LOVE NEVER FAILS.<br />
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Love has not failed me. Love will not fail those I am called to give it to. Love Never Fails.<br />
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So as I sit here the morning after a really really hard Wednesday night with our kids, the kids we were called here to shepherd. As I sit here at the end of another month that has been difficult, another month that I stand confused and crying out to God begging Him to help me as I have no idea how to stand here, how to change the direction that these kids are going in, no idea how to fight what we are fighting, no idea how to make them care, no idea how to get to where I want to be with them...I do know one thing...LOVE NEVER FAILS...for it has been proved in my life and in so many other lives around me.<br />
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I was loved when I was so very unlovable. I was changed by that love. I was not given up on even when I know it was so incredibly hard and I know my family wanted to give up on me because it definitely would have been the easiest thing to do. God loved me every time I turned my back on Him and every time I tried to take matters back into my own hands. God loved me when I did not care. He has NEVER stopped loving me and He calls me to love the same way.<br />
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We are facing a battle that we have never faced before. We are standing in a place that we have never stood before.<br />
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God is calling us to STAND FIRM and LOVE.<br />
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We WILL NOT be perfect. But we WILL stand. We WILL love. We will seek God and continue to follow Him and let Him guide us. WE CANNOT DO THIS WITHOUT HIM!<br />
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We know that we are exactly where God has called us. No we did not know that it would be this hard and that we would face what we are facing now. BUT WE WILL STAND AND WE WILL LOVE. We will not give up. We will not back down. We will not run away. We will not take the easy road.<br />
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Father, I need you like never before. You are all we need and all we have. I do not want to fail these kids Lord. I do not want to let them down. I do not want to get weary or give up. I have no idea what to do but I know that I have you and I know that you've asked me to stand and to love unconditionally. Help us Lord, help us to stand and to LOVE bigger than we ever have before even WHEN it hurts so bad that I can't even breathe. Help us to love bigger even when it is not received or even cared about. Help us to love without expecting anything in return. Help us to LOVE LIKE YOU LOVE. I beg you Father for YOUR Wisdom and your Guidance. Father you have ALWAYS ALWAYS been faithful to us and I know with all my heart that you will continue to be faithful to us. Help us to bring You glory in all that we do, even when we mess up. I love you Lord and I trust You. In Jesus strong name. Amen.Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-33925546373860978022014-07-28T14:32:00.002-05:002014-07-28T14:32:32.262-05:00NEW NEW NEWSo the newest new thing is....I have an official part-time job!!<br />
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You know when you are just cruising along in life and all seems to be going well and then the bottom drops out of something and it is completely outside of your control. Well I had that moment back in May the weekend of Mother's Day when I lost the job I had been working since February. It was one of the most unfun and heartbreaking things I have experienced since we moved back home to Bama. However it happened and we handled it the best way we knew how praying all the while that we did it in love and God was glorified to the best of our ability.<br />
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So since then I have been at home a little down but loving getting to be at home. However as much as I love getting to be at home, our financial plan to pay off debt and save for a house was abruptly interrupted just as we were getting started so we knew that I could not just continue to stay at home. Yet with our job at the church and our calling to be pastors we knew that I could not work full-time. So we began the search for what seemed to be the impossible to find perfect job, with great pay and perfect hours.<br />
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I began to seek the Lord and tell Him the things that we needed and desired and day by day I gave it over to him. Every time I found nothing listed on craigslist or the many job finding sites I was searching I would stop pray and give it to him. Now keep in mind that we were doing alright financially we were just making ends meet and I loved being at home, so that all helped in the not panicking and worrying department, trust me I am normally NOT that patient and easily redirected!<br />
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Then one day I got a call and had an interview. The interview went great but the job just wasn't right. The hours were long and the pay was uncertain and as much as we wanted it to work it just wasn't going to. We were both pretty bummed.<br />
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Then the search kicked into high gear and still came up empty.<br />
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Then over the 4th of July weekend I got a call from the great interview job and they had decided to change up the hours and wondered if I could come back in for a second meeting to discuss the new details to see if they would better fit for all of us! They now wanted me part-time! I went back in and almost immediately knew that God was working things out. I was allow to basically choose the hours that I wanted to work and they had increased the pay for my position and I found out that I would get to wear scrubs, which is something that I prayed for when I knew I was going in to talk about part-time hours. It was just one of those things that I felt would be such a cool and comfy bonus!!<br />
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I left the meeting and drove straight to hubby's work and could not wait to fill him in!! God had specifically answered our prayers. Perfect hours, great pay and the bonus of SCRUBS (that the company pays for)!!!<br />
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Less than an hour after the meeting I accepted the job and I am loving it. There is alot to remember but there is so much potential for human interaction which I desperately need and advancement and joy and there are so many benefits for me having this job!!<br />
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I was pretty much on my own today and it went great!! It was so busy and I had so much fun interacting with patients and learning to do the job on my own. I challenged myself to do as much as I could without asking questions and it went really well!!<br />
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I love the people I work with and the patients I get to see everyday and the scrubs I get to wear and the hours that I get to work!<br />
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God always comes through. I had some really great recovery time at home and now I have a really great job that is going to be more and more wonderful as the days go by!!<br />
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God is faithful. He just really is so thoughtful and loving and takes care of our needs and wants!<br />
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Thank you Lord. Thank you. May I bring you Glory in all I do!Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-90023462219118153292014-07-07T13:58:00.000-05:002014-07-07T13:58:16.025-05:00Refighting BattlesLet's face it...in our lives we have battles to fight. Personal battles, family battles, all kinds of battles! <br />
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And I find that there are times when you just have to re-fight some battles.<br />
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I am currently re-fighting and relearning a battle. I find that I pour absolutely all of me out to others and I tend to have these expectations of what the receipt of that will be and I find that I am disappointed. And it truly is silly silly things that I expect and desire and don't get.<br />
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So within myself I am re-fighting that battle and fighting to get back to the place where I can pour out and not expect ANYTHING in return.<br />
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In my head I know that the reason to pour out my love is not to receive something in return but I am human and I do find myself getting caught in that trap of disappointment and heartbreak.<br />
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I suppose I just want to re-learn and win this battle again!<br />
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Such is life...re-learning and re-fighting battles.<br />
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Lord, I give you this battle that I am currently re-fighting and I ask you to help me to learn what You want to teach me in this. Help me to love unconditionally. I truly desire a greater capacity to love! In Jesus name. Amen.Tabbie:)http://www.blogger.com/profile/10741746576987716628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997120.post-13965846506857132662014-07-01T15:02:00.002-05:002014-07-01T15:02:51.535-05:00#FamilyOfJesus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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