Update...

I haven't posted much. I have come here so many times to post but haven't.

I have been on total overload lately. To the point of being ready to shut down completely. But...

The Lord is SO faithful and so good. He is truly my Refuge,my Shield & my Strength.

Truly I have so much to be thankful for and you know it's nice sometimes to just remind yourself of those things. I think now is as good a time as any:

I am thankful for:
1. A Heavenly Father that loves me more than I can fathom
2. Family Family Family Family - I love my Family & I am SO very thankful for them
3. The freedom we have to love the Lord and freely worship and praise Him
4. The ways the Lord surprises me and Blesses me continually
5. My sweetie, I am blown away at what the Lord has done and is doing
6. All the work the Lord is doing in me and around me
7. Not being sick today

I have been feeling better lately, I am believing that I am finally done being sick!! I have been sick for months and it's about time for it to be OVER!!!

Things are looking up...Thank you Father for taking care of me...Thank you Father that things are looking up. Help me to be as faithful to you as you are to me. I love you Father!!

Random thoughts...

I am so happy

God keeps confirming His love for me over and over

God keeps surprising me

I am ready to be 100% physically - I am tired of being sick

God is good even in the difficult times

Worship was incredible last night

I am thankful for my family

I am thankful for my friends

I feel like if I took of running and jumped I could actually FLY

I love grape Kool-Aid

I love pictures they make me happy to look at them

I am so weepy lately - gah - it's really annoying

I am a planner

I need to clean my house

I love girl's nights

I love getting off work early

I love worship music

I love to sing to the Lord

I love to laugh and hear others laughing

I love to be greeted by children

My Summer Top 10

My Summer Top 10

1. Floating on my float at the lake

2. Grape Kool-Aid Jammers

3. Cool breezes in the mornings and evenings

4. Kids Camp/Crusades

5. Sitting on the porch with my sweetie

6. Riding with the windows down and the radio up

7. Monday night walks with my sweetie

8. Sunday afternoons on the front porch with the family

9. Warm Sunshine on my legs after freezing in my office

10. Star gazing

Experiencing God...

I am in AWE...

Over the past several months, God has just been revealing himself to me over and over and over in new and wonderful ways...


From standing in Faith in hard places
To watching Him open doors that He has promised He would open for 7 years
Blessing after Blessing
Strength after Strength
Standing in the hard and experiencing His Grace, Mercy, Strength, & Forgiveness
Soaring in the new things He is bringing about


You know we say God is good all the time, but I have literally experience God being good at all times...in the hard and the easy in the fun and the unpleasant...in the known and the unknown...in the past, present, and the future.


God has done so much in my life since I accepted him years ago...
He Saved Me, Healed Me, Restored Me, Added to Me, Took from Me, Grown Me Up, Broke Me Down, Reshaped Me, Redirected Me, CALLED ME, Loved Me.


I just want to give Thanks today:
For my Heavenly Father
For my family who love me and show me and support me and teach me and protect me - I needed a family to show me what it looked like and you guys never hesitated to take me in - you All are my miracle
For my friends - I prayed for you guys and God sent you to me

Thank you Father for your incredible Love that I still do not quite fathom. You are the reason for ALL of the Good in my life, You are the only One who gets the credit and the GLORY!! Thank you for loving me!!

THE CHOICE...

Joy is a choice...
Joy does not change the circumstances but changes you even in the midst of the circumstances and through changes in yourself therein lies the possibility of the circumstances changing too.

So last night I learned that Joy is a choice and I am making the choice to choose Joy in the midst of all my circumstances.

I can have Joy because I have a Heavenly Father that loves me so much that I cannot even begin to understand it. I have Salvation in Jesus Christ and through Jesus a relationship with my Heavenly Father. I have a family that loves and supports me and stands by me no matter what. I have life. I have love in my heart for myself and God's Children. I have a calling and a purpose. God has a plan for my life, a plan to prosper me and not to harm me to give me a hope and a future. I can stand on the Word and Promises of God no matter what.

I choose Joy!

I surrender to you completely Father. I surrender all of my circumstances to you.
I choose You Father. I choose Joy. In Jesus name. Amen.

Back

I am back home.

A part of my heart is still in Thailand. With the children, with the missionaries, with the pastors, with the humble people of Thailand.

Words to describe the trip:

Humbling

Life Changing

Eye Opening

Heart Warming

I loved getting to be a part of the kids lives and teach them a bit of english and teach show them God's love. I feel honored to have gotten to be with them and get to know them and spend time with them. I feel humbled by their smiles and their gracious manner. They are so thankful for what they have and the smiles on their faces and the light in their eyes showed that.

I loved getting to teach the Children's Workers new techniques to teach children. I loved showing them our hearts for ministry and watching as the passion we brought over flowed onto them. I love watching them do the service and participate and do ministry for the Children. I felt like a proud parent. I couldn't believe how proud I was of them.

I feel humbled and honored to have gotten to worship with this humble people. To worship to music in another language but still feel God closer than ever. To watch God love on people on the other side of the world. To have God use me to speak into lives on the other side of the world. To see them jumping and dancing before their Lord, OUR Lord. To have been apart of their beautiful worship. To have learned there really is no language barrier in the Spirit of God. His Spirit speaks ALL languages and all who accept understand Him.

I feel honored to have been loved by those there. I feel honored to have been served as we were. I feel honored by the incredible missionaries and Thai team that made us feel so very welcome.

They are a beautiful people, a humble people, a respectful people.

I now feel like a rude American.

I am honored to have gotten to go and experience all that we were able to experience. Truly honored. TRULY HUMBLED.

I am thankful to be back, and have been blown away by the response of those I love so much. I knew I was missed and loved and that is the greatest feeling in the world.

You all were missed and loved as well. I missed you guys everyday. I wanted to share all that I was experiencing with you everyday.

I cherish the prayers that were going up to Our Lord. They were effective. God was there with us, we saw His hand all around. We had favor and protection and power. Thank you. I love you all!

Enjoy the pics below:

Our First meal in Thailand - Sea Side

Meeting the Kids at camp in Phang Nga

Beautiful Kids

Sweating for Jesus - Gorillas!!!

My incredible English Class - The sweetest teens ever!!

My precious precious little girl, my mini me!! Mham

Farong Team all Powered

Tsunami English Camp - Phang Nga Thailand

Sunday Morning Service - Din Daing

Beautiful Girls

Incredible Lunch - Incredible Service - Incredible Pastor - Din Diang

Getting to know the workers in Chaing Rai

Teaching Puppets

Teaching Object Lessons

Teaching Gorillas

Teaching Games

Set up for Service - Go Workers Go!!

Lilly - Called into Children's Ministry!!! Amazing Girl!! I felt such a kinship with her!

Chaing Rai Pastor and His family! Amazing Vision!! Amazing Pastor!! Amazing Family!!

Bridge over River Quai

Lunch at the Bridge over River Quai

Beautiful Lady

The Girls

Dee and I on the Elephant Ride!!!

Yeah our Elephant got us good!!

I got brave and rode on the neck!!

A moment of Exhaustion!!

A moment of Exhaustion!!

We had a great time and this is only a fraction of the pictures I have!! Hope you enjoyed!!

Tabbie Just Breathe

So do you ever have those times when you just have to remind yourself just to breathe...
This week is one of those...
Tabbie just breathe...

I can not believe I am packing to go to Thailand for two weeks. I can not believe I get to go there and embrace those precious children with God's love. I can not wait to wrap my arms around those babies and love them to pieces. I can not wait. I can not wait to find out what God is up to and what He has in store for this trip and my life. I can not believe I get to do this with my brother who is also called into Children's Ministry. He means the world to me and to get to do this together just blesses me beyond! This trip could not be more perfect!!

Father I know YOU opened this door. You have blessed me in this in more ways than one!!! This is incredible and I Thank YOU for it all!! I am absolutely in AWE of all that you are doing in my life!!! I know you have big things in store for me from start to finish on this trip. I can not wait to serve YOU!! Thank You Father for who you are in my life. Thank You that You know what is best for me and You have the perfect timing. Thank You Heavenly Father for amazing me everyday with who you are and how You LOVE me. You are so good to me.

Tabbie just breathe...

Father you are up to so much more...and I will not stand in Your way...I will be obediant to you...I will stand where you have asked me to stand...I now believe but I will be obediant...I can not wait to see how this unfolds...You are my driver Lord...and I will ride with You anywhere You take me...I trust You...I believe in You...I will follow You...I will be still and know that YOU are God...I will not move...You are my Father and I will listen to You and obey You...You have told me You are writing my story...You are the Author and Finisher...I have dropped the pen...I will not pick it back up...I LOVE YOU MY FATHER...MY HEART IS TO OBEY YOU AND TRUST YOU AND FOLLOW YOUR LEAD. Thank YOU for giving me everything I need to stand in the places You have called me to stand.

Tabbie just breathe...JUST BREATHE...just breathe...

Overwhelmed...

I am absolutely overwhelmed at all God is doing...
I have no words...
But I wanted to post something to let you all know I am still here, there is just so much that I have no words.
We leave for Thailand a week from this Sunday.
I am beyond ready to be on that plane and to see what God has in store there. I cannot wait.
I turn 27 tomorrow.

I am in awe of my Heavenly Father and what He is doing.

I am waiting and standing and trusting. I am being still!

Leave me comments you guys, come on now, I like to know yall are reading and I want to know what yall think.

PS - ONE OF MY WONDERFUL YOUTH GIRLS MAKE THE PICTURE AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE. HOW SWEET IS SHE!! THANKS KEETER!!

Yes HE does

None will ever be able to convince me that God does not care about the details of our life. He does. He has worked out EVERY little detail of this trip to Thailand, and ladies I mean EVERY little detail(ahem). The last little thing I was concerned about will be done and over with by the middle of next week.

God cares about EVERY little detail and He wants to take care of those details. He is a personal God who knows every hair on our head. He wants to be a part of EVERYTHING in our lives. So if you have something that you thing is too small or insignificant to bring before the Lord, hesitate NO LONGER, be assured that God cares about even that and bring it before Him in Faith that He wants to take care of it and CAN and WILL take care of it.

God is so good and He is working and moving. Allow Him to move in your life and you will be amazed at all He does.

Happy Thursday!!

Taste and see...

Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

All it takes is one taste...because the Lord IS good.

I am still in awe!!

God is not finished, not even close!!

I simply want to be obediant!

Overwhelmed...

I think I am simply overwhelmed at all God has done. I feel a bit out of body today. I most assuredly in AWE of God and how He works and how He has used me. I am excited but mostly right now just overwhelmed at the events that have taken place. I long for time in His presence alone just me and HIM to talk things out. I long for time in His Word to gain knowledge. Sigh. God is so good guys. He truly is amazing.
In case you are wondering what events I mean:
My friend got saved last night at church
I am going to Thailand

Nuff said. Love you guys. Keep praying. God is moving and wants to move more and do big and incredible things in your lives as well!! TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY. THANK YOU JESUS!!

The RAIN came.

How do you build a boat on dry land when you've never seen rain - By Faith
How do you get on a plane without a ticket - By Faith

When God asks you to stand in Faith...STAND.

I AM GOING TO THAILAND!

I have a plane ticket to Thailand
God said - You are going to Thailand
And God provided the ticket

I think I am still in AWE of how God has worked
But I wanted to let my readers know...
The rain came, and my boat was ready
I stood in Faith that God was going to work out my way to Thailand and HE did

God opened the door two weeks ago and EVERYTHING has fallen exactly in it's place
I have my tickets and my passport will be in my mailbox tomorrow
Two Weeks! God worked everything out in TWO WEEKS!

My Heavenly Father said:
I AM, I CAN, & I WILL
He IS, HE COULD, & HE DID
Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful."
He said I am sending you to Thailand in May

Hebrews 11:1 "Now FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

Isaiah 40:31 "But they who WAIT upong the Lord shall renew thier strength..."
*The word WAIT in Hebrew is 'qavah' and means "to bind together by twisting". While we WAIT on the Lord we are not just waiting on Him to do something, we are actually being intertwined, twisted with Him. We are being strengthened. Now read those verses again.*

My Faith has been increased! Thank you Father. Thank you!

A new respect for Noah.

Standing in faith.
Feeling like Noah.
How do you buid a boat on dry land when you've never seen rain.
How do you get on a plane without a ticket.
God is bigger.
If He says He will do it, He will do it.
Even if all the worldly signs are pointing in the other direction.
I will stand.

Father increase my faith, give me strength to stand no matter what others are saying or what the signs are poiting to.

I trust You Father.

In Jesus name. Amen.

Random Things

I really enjoy jotting down just random things about me and whatever random thing floats through my mind - so this will be one of those fun random list blogs - enjoy!

one of my very favorite things to do is give blood

i give blood every 8 weeks - unless i visit a malaria infected country

i'm going to thailand the first of may

i love black and white pictures

my face looks so much better when i am tan

i wear less make up in the summer

god has increased my faith greatly

i am looking forward to tonights episode of american idol - its idol gives back

i love to watch movies or tv shows that make me cry

i wont cry in front of just anybody

i love to worship

i love to do object lessons that teach kids about god

i can no longer say i have never been pied

my passport is completed and in the mail to me - thats so exciting

i love to see pictures of myself in happy moments - its a good reminder of how good God is and that i now have a safe and happy life in Him

i love childrens church

i love all my kids at church - i love spending time hanging out with them - they truly just pull at my heart strings

i have the most amazing Neesie ever - she is my best friend, my god mom, my biggest fan, my biggest supporter - & she puts up with me and still loves me anyway - she is well - absolutely amazing

i am standing in a new place with God

i can not wait to get to church tonight

i love journals

i love to color

i love to watch tv or movies

i love to sing at the top of my lungs when i am by myself

i love to minister to others - i love it with all of my heart

i will love you even if you hurt me greatly - that doesnt mean i will like you

i love to be greeted

i love when the kids run up and hug me

i love kids crusades and the teams that god puts together & hanging out together

i love getting pedicures with my neesie and eating at panera bread

i love to go to the lake when things are calm and peaceful

i love when god talks to me

i want my future husband to be one who worships without reserve

i love that my mom prayed for me to get to go to thailand

i love to write

i love my tater - he makes my heart smile

well i could go on and on cause it so fun for me - but ill stop now - enjoy my randomness or not so randomness

A new place to stand.

God has given me a new place to stand.
It's called Faith.
I am not sure I can find the words to relay all God is doing.
I know He is up to something and I CANNOT wait to see what He does.
I am so excited at all He is doing in me. There are scary things and scary places but that just means I am outside my box. I am okay with that. God has been bringing me outside my box alot lately and I trust Him. I truly want HIS will.
Any door God opens that He decides to close, I am okay with that.
He is God. He knows what is best. He has me. He loves me. He will NOT fail me. He is that all-knowing One.
My hand is out of the pot. I am watching Him stir. And I am excited about all He is stirring up.

I am just telling you right now. Watch. Just watch and see what He does.

I love you my Heavenly Father. I trust You. I desire You. I seek Your will and Yours alone.
I can not wait to see what you are up to. Thank you for all you are doing. Thank you for all you are doing in me. Thank you for who you are in my life and for bringing me to a new level with you. I love you Father. In Jesus might name I pray. Amen.

Watch..................

IMMEASURABLY MORE!

I am not sure if I could truly convey all that God is doing and has done lately without writing a novel so I will try to do it in list form to see if that helps:

1. The Spirit of God fell in our Children's Church service Easter Sunday morning and it was incredible. God spoke to the kids and just blessed us all so much!!

2. God has surprised me and blessed me with a paid trip to Thailand - I had no idea what He was up to or that He was up to anything really - I just thought it wasnt the trip for me to go on - but really God just wanted to bless me in a special way s0 - I AM GOING TO THAILAND!!! ON MY GOODNESS!!!!

3. Youth Convention was amazing - the speaker and worship leaders were incredibly annointed - The Spirit of God fell @ every service - God spoke into our youths lives and my life and our leaders lives - INCREDIBLE INCREDIBLE INCREDIBLE!!! God used me to speak into lives and it was amazing!

4. Family Day service was awesome yesterday - God used me to speak into lives and encourage and uplift. He is working!!

HE IS WORKING!!! HE WANTS TO WORK!!! We've got to allow Him to do what He wants to do even when it makes us vulnerable and we are scared to trust. We've got to be obediant and willing. GOD CAN DO ABOVE AND BEYOND WHAT WE CAN IMAGINE - EPHESIANS 3:20 "...HIM WHO IS ABLE TO DO IMMEASURABLY MORE THAN ALL WE ASK OR IMAGINE, ACCORDING TO HIS POWER THAT IS AT WORK WITHIN US..."

5 weird or unknown facts about yourself...

5 Weird Facts...
List 5 Weird or Unknown Facts about yourself.

1) Sometimes I get really low to my desk when I am writing
2) I eat the marshmallows from my Lucky Charms first - by color to get it over with - because I like the cereal better
3) I love the smell of Windex
4) I practice writing with my left hand because I want to be Ambidextrous
5) I do not hear well - especially if there are many conversations going or a lot of background noise

That was fun!

Well it's official Zyrtec zones me out, makes me tired and sleepy but not to the point of actually falling asleep while I am doing something. I am actually getting more done at work, weirdly I can stay focused better. But I stare off when I'm not doing something. But I could go to sleep if I got still and let myself. And I am looking forward to going to sleep when I get home and get packed for Youth Convention. Yay Youth Convention. I wish I were already packed though. *Sigh*

Allergies

To Allergies I say:
Why me?!?!?!?
I never had allergies until three or four years ago with the exception of a freak two years where I was actually allergic to the sun. That was very crazy for sure!
But I now deal with allergies. I am however thankful that Zyrtec is not over the counter!!!
I rushed to buy Zyrtec this morning, as my face was melting off. To which I totally freaked out the guy at the CVS Pharmacy counter, as I, an extremely Red-Nosed desperate individual, demanded the strongest Zyrtec he could sell me. Lol. It was quite humorous, he look at me like I was crazy. Well I felt crazy and desperate, I was losing my face here. However, I believe it is finally kicking in, and I still have eye balls and a nose. Phew that was a close one.
Allergies or No allergies - I welcome Spring with open arms.
I am ready for:
Warmth and sunshine
Trips to the bleachers to sun bathe at lunch
Trips to the lake
Kids Camp
Kids Crusades
Flip Flops
Pedicures
No jackets
No chill in the bones
Sunshine
Warmth

:)
Lord Thank You for Spring and Thank You for Zyrtec!
:)
Oh and I'd like to give a shout-out to Rachel - who told me how to give my blog the facelift it greatly needed!! Thanks Rach! Kiss Nattie's cheeks for me!

Isaiah 26-3-4
People with their minds set on You, You keep completely whole, steady on their feet, because they keep at it and don't quit. Depend on God and keep at it because in the Lord God you have a sure thing.

This is what You spoke to me last night Father and I am holding tight. When I feel myself losing my grip I will remember Your words, help me remember your words.
I love you Father and my heart and my life belong to you.

Crying Out

My Father I adore you more than anything my heart could wish for
I just want you...

This is true - but Father there are desires that I know you have placed in my heart - I feel them so strongly - at times I even lose myself in them - when I should be losing myself in You instead. Honestly, it's very hard not to. I have been fighting for years now, and I ask not to have to fight this any longer. I am asking You to fulfill Your promises to me. I am tired and it's hard to be patient and stay patient. Know that I will wait for You and for You to tell me when to move, but I am asking You to not make me wait anymore. Let this fight be over. I know there will be more and there will be other places to wait and fight. But I am asking You to bring this one to an end. But Father, You know best, so not my will but Yours be done. And in the meantime, help me, let it be easier for me. Give me what I need to be okay here. Content, peaceful, & patient. I thank You Father for who you are. I love you so much more than I ever thought I could love. Thank you for that. Thank you for loving me and knowing better than I what is best for me. Thank you for being in control of it all and that You have a plan for my life and it is a good plan. A plan to prosper me and not to harm me to give me a hope and a future. And I want that hope and that future to be in YOUR WILL and not mine. In Jesus precious name. Amen.

Friday :)

It's Friday!!

Yay!!
Not only that it's GOOD FRIDAY!
I love the opportunity to be reminded of what an Incredible Lord we have.
Jesus Died for You
Jesus Died for Me
He suffered beyond what we can ever really imagine.
Imagine being hated to the point of death, being beaten, and then your Father having to turn His face from you, even for an instant. I imagine that to be the hardest part for Jesus. That moment when God had to look away because He can not accept sin. But Jesus said not my will but your will be done. Wow What a Lord, what a Savior.
So today we all have a relationship with our Loving Father becuase of that choice Jesus made.


THANK YOU JESUS, SINCERELY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. THANK YOU, MY PRECIOUS SAVIOR, FOR CHOOSING TO DIE FOR ME & FOR RAISING AGAIN TO BE MY LIVING LORD. LITERALLY MERE WORDS DO NOT BEGIN TO PRAISE YOU. BUT MY HEART PRAISES YOU, THE HEART YOU GAVE ME. I LIVE BECAUSE OF YOU, QUITE LITERALLY.



So today is Friday, the end of the week. A great week really. I am thankful for a great week. As busy season creeps up my goal is to keep Joy in the midst of stress. As stress will surely come, God can overcome in me though. And I am counting on that!



An exciting weekend ahead:
Saturday (tomorrow) a FULL day of ministry!! Woohoo!! I LOVE IT LOVE IT!
Puppet practice @ 9:00
Drama practice @ 11:00
Prayer @ 12:00
Workers meeting @ 12:30
Service starts @ 1:00
Clean up starts around 4:00
I am so excited!!
I can not wait to bless the kids of this community and the parents.
I am praying for both the parents, aunts, grandparents & the kids to really be touched, changed, & spoken to. I want them all to know God's Love & accept Him into their hearts and lives.



Sunday
Family Breakfast @ 8:00
Sunday School @ 9:30
Children's Church @ 10:30
Lunch & Movie
Family Dinner!!!!



I love my family all of them!



So far today has been great. Work load is managable, more than managable so that's nice. Lots of smiles and joy today. Connie(my boss) gave us all beautiful flowers:Aren't they beautiful!!! She is sweet & loves flowers & shares them with us often.

I prayed for my frind Jeannie to be healed, bless her heart she just coughs & coughs & coughs, the doctors havent been able to correct it yet. God put her on my heart this morning & I asked her if I could pray for her & she said yes. So after our morning meeting she came back to my corner & I covered her in prayer & I am believing for her complete healing & restoration! God is so good, she hasnt coughed hardly any since. In fact she has had to leave the customer service meeting several times & today she didnt cough once. God is good, SO GOOD!!! Thank you Jesus!

SO HAPPY FRIDAY TO YOU ALL!! HAVE A GREAT EASTER WEEKEND!!

Changes

So I was reading old posts today and it's so crazy how things change.
Some things made me very sad
Some made me very proud
I know I am different - in some ways good & in some ways bad
But I still love My Lord!

The loudest thing that stood out:
There are alot of relationships that are gone from my life now
How did that happen, why, was it me?

I think I might need to do some searching in that.
Some searching of me.

Food for thought I guess.

BLAH

BLAH

WHAT A BLAH DAY

IT IS ONE OF THOSE FEMALE DAYS IN EVERY WAY...WE REALLY ARE FICKLE CREATURES

* AUNT FLOW ARRIVED THIS MORNING

* I REACTED TO OLD STUFF I DIDNT REALIZE WAS OLD -TO WHICH I SAY - I REALIZE - & IM MOVING FORWARD

* ITS COLD AGAIN - IM DONE WITH THE COLD

* I STAYED UP TOO LATE LAST NIGHT - I KNEW BETTER - I REALLY DID

BLAH

WHAT A BLAH DAY

HOWEVER, GOD IS SO GOOD & HIS LOVE IS MORE AMAZING THAN THE WORD AMAZING CAN COVER - HE LOVES SO COMPLETELY & I AM THANKFUL - I AM BLESSED & LOVED & EVEN ON THIS BLAH DAY THERE IS GOOD

Some of my kids...

Sunday we had a blast at ALL day Drama practice with our fabulous KOR Drama Team...(except we were missing our little Zack)

We had lunch outside in the warm sunshine and then took pictures beneath the beautiful Bradford Pear tree before working hard on the Drama for this Saturday's Easter Egg Hunt...

This is our sweet Drama Team (minus Zack)

Drama Team Leaders (we love these kids)
Della & Lexie

Christopher

JoJo

Lexie

Abby (She looked down)

Miles

The three slackers (We didnt want to go in it was so pretty outside)

Come see my amazing kids do their Human Video on Saturday. It's going to be amazing I am so proud of them!!!

I love my kids!!

And so it FINALLY begins...

Busy season...

I love this time of year because the trips and action begins...

Tomorrow is our first trip to camp for this year with the kids...

It's JBQ Semi-Finals at Springville Camp - and its supposed to be warm!! I am so excited!!! We have not had JBQ in months so it's double exciting. Quizzing, games, service, food, and CAMP!!! And we get to stay in the lodges!! Woot woot, I love the lodges so much better than the cabins. Better bathroom, it's all about the bathroom and shower. It is going to be so much fun. I hope I get lots of great pictures to share with you guys too!! I so love this every year, I have a great time coaching and encouraging the kids, we always have the most incredible service on Friday nights, and then fun in the rooms before lights out!! Oh I love it!! I cant wait. And to top it off I get to sleep late tomorrow too!! Oh yea!!! Sleeping in before camp is always Wisdom!

Next up we have the Easter Egg hunt...
I can not wait I can not wait I can not wait!!! It is going to be so fun!!!

I have spring fever like crazy and I am so looking forward to heading home this afternoon and throwing open the shades and letting the sunlight into my little quaint apartment and getting busy washing and packing for camp. Oh my goodness I am so excited!!

Youth convention is also coming up - another short trip to camp!!!

I love love love love love love love love love love love this time of year and the opportunities to spend more personal time with the kids and youth. The ministry opportunities to touch other kids and youths lives. I have to tell you I know this is the very reason God created me. He created me to serve Him in ministry and I am so excited about that. I love it. I live for it. I love being Called to it!!

p.s. I know my last post was very strong, but I SO needed to feel that strongly about things.

WoW

Wow
So I have had one of the hardest weeks I have had in I cant even tell you how long...
Heart Break after Heart Break
And today I was standing in the back of Children's Church watching these kids that I love so much during worship - we were singing "Becasuse of who You are" and suddenly I re-understood - My praise to God has nothing to do with my situation whether it is good or bad at the time - I praise and worship God because He IS good in EVERY situation - good or bad.

We have so become a society of feelings - I dont feel like doing this or I dont feel that - I dont feel loved, I dont feel safe, I dont feel like I can trust, I dont feel like I should, feel feel feel feel feel - well let me tell you feelings lie and feelings are a major way that the enemy uses us in his destruction. It is not about what we feel it is about the Truth we know.

Truth comes from our loving Heavenly Father. In the words of Barlow Girl at Winter Jam '08 "I believe in love even when I do not feel it, I believe in the Sun even when it is not shinning, and I believe in God even when I cannot hear him."

It is not about us or what we feel it is about truth and doing what God tells us to do. He has written us a book to help us so there is no excuses any more. Not feelings, not lack of knowledge, our only excuse is ourselves.

We allow the lies in our lives to control us and keep us in the same place. We allow the feelings and events that take place to hold us back. Its a choice, we can either allow the lies and the feelings to hold us back or we can actually seek God with all of our hearts and actually devote time to Him and His Word and grow and change no matter how hard and we can actually choose to love and trust even when we have been absolutely CRUSHED over and over and over again.

What if Jesus had decided - nope I have been hurt to much and I cant trust any of these people, so nope I am not going to do what the Heavenly Father created me to do. Nope it hurts too bad and I dont know how and I dont understand why the things that have happened have happened so I am just done. Well wouldnt we all be up the creek. Where would we be? Well where are those going to be that God has planned for us to minister to and be a light to, where are they going to be when we decide it is too hard to change or too hard to trust or too hard to move past the hurt that has been caused to do what God has created us to do? Where are they going to be?

You know what its not about me. We no longer have a choice what we do with our lives. When we give our lives to Christ - who does it belong to? It does not belong to you anymore.

So honestly who cares that my heart was broken and I mean literally shattered multiple times this past week. Who cares how hard I cried or that NOONE saw me when I hurt or that NOONE but one could even help me carry my burden. Who cares that those I love the most hurt me the most. Who cares that the week and everything in it was a struggle and bad thing after bad thing happened that was beyond my control. Who cares that I was exhausted beyond words but still had to give because I have always been the strong one and people can not handle my weakness. Who cares. None of that matters one bit.

I will continue to love and continue to trust and continue to change and grow. I will not allow any of this to hold me back. Because I gave my life to Christ and He has called me to LOVE, to TRUST, to HOPE, to change, to heal and to grow and minister in spite of my self and my circumstance and the condition of my feelings or heart. Christ is not asking us to do anything that He himself has not already done.

It's time to stop making excuses. It's time to stop knowing what needs to be done but not doing it. It's time actually be in love with God instead of this world. Its time to stop allowing our insecurities and issues be our excuses and GROW UP in Christ. Like it cant be done. Come on now. Who are we kidding? NOONE but ourselves. It is time.

COMFORT IS NOT AN OPTION. Who cares if you feel like it or not - make time for Quiet time with the Lord - read His word He spent years writting, pray and ask Him for the things you need, and LISTEN, He has things to tell you. Who cares if it makes you uncomfortable or if you have to give up time on the internet, or with friends, or in front of the TV, or if you have to give up sleep. Who cares.

I will not allow any excuses. I will not allow this past week of hurt and pain to do anything but shove me toward God and change and grow and become more of who He created me to be. You know that everytime you go through something God can teach you something from it.
So how about looking at hardships as getting closer to God and actually looking for the learning in it. You know what life is deep, not shallow. Get out of the shallow. God wants to be in everything. You know what I would even venture to say if you feel super spiritual then you are more than likely on a better path than everything being shallow. God wants to be in everything and be your everything. So I dont care who thinks I am "super spiritual", I would rather be that than shut God out cause that is what the World is comfortable with.

I am not sorry if I said something in this blog that makes you uncomfortable or mad. You might just want to look at and closely examine what did make you uncomfortable or mad. It's probably something you need to work on.

Get up, Get going. ITS TIME TO STOP MAKING EXCUSES. BROKEN HEARTS, PAIN, BROKEN TRUST, FEELINGS - THESE ARE ONLY EXCUSES THAT YOUR ENEMY IS USING TO HOLD YOU BACK - ARE YOU GOING TO ALLOW THAT? ARE YOU GOING TO CONTINUE TO ALLOW THAT?

I AM NOT!

Yes I am exhausted
Yes I am tired of everything in my life being a battle
Yes I am hurt
Yes my heart has been broken

BUT I WILL ALLOW GOD TO GROW ME AND CHANGE ME AND I WILL NOT ALLOW THESE THING TO BE EXCUSES OR TOOLS THAT THEN ENEMY USES.

I cover this blog in Jesus name. Amen!

LACK OF SLEEP = NO GOOD IN MANY WAYS

I HAVE DECIDED THAT I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT DO WELL WITHOUT PROPER SLEEP
I DONT THINK AS CLEARLY:
IM A GRUMP
I COMPLAIN MORE
NOT TO MENTION IT PUTS ME RUNNING BEHIND IN THE MORNINGS WHICH MEANS
1 - IM RUSHED
2 - I DONT GET MY QUIET TIME IN
I NEED TO NOT BE RUSHED AND I DESPERATELY NEED MY MORNING QUIET TIMES - DESPERATELY

SO TODAY I AM VERY GRUMPY AND COMPLAINTIVE - IT'S NOT A PLEASING THING - I HATE BEING THIS WAY AND I SO DONT WANT TO AFFECT THOSE AROUND ME

I FEEL TODAY LIKE MUCH IS PRESSING DOWN ON ME AND BOY AM I MISSING MY QUIET TIME MORE THAN EVER
MY DAYS JUST ARE NOT THE SAME WITHOUT IT

I DIDNT GET QUIET TIME YESTERDAY OR TODAY IN THE MORNINGS - MIND YOU I WENT HOME YESTERDAY AND HAD SOME QUIET TIME - BUT IT SO WAS NOT THE SAME

BUT...AND THIS IS A GOOD BUT...

I LOVE THAT I LOVE MY MORNING QUIET TIMES AND THAT I MISS THEM SO MUCH WHEN I DONT GET THEM - I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO GET UP AND HAVE TIME IN THE MORNINGS TO DO THAT - AND NOW I LOVE IT SO MUCH I ACTUALLY MISS IT WHEN IT DOESNT HAPPEN - SO I AM TRULY THANKFUL FOR THAT - TRULY!

YOU KNOW THERE IS ALWAYS ALOT GOING ON IN LIFE - AND IT SEEMS WHEN LIFE GETS BUSIEST THAT'S WHEN WE GET WEAK - I BELIEVE FOR ME SIMPLY BECAUSE I DONT HAVE TIME TO SPEND IN GOD'S PRESENCE LISTENING AND LEARNING AND ALLOWING HIS PEACE - WELL I AM DETERMINED TO GET MY MORNING QUIET TIMES IN - AND THAT MEANS GETTING TO BED AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE - SADLY I JUST DO NOT HAVE THE STAMINA TO STAY UP LATE AND BE FUNCTIONAL THE NEXT DAY - SO KNOWING THAT ABOUT MYSELF IS GOOD SO I KNOW HOW TO MAKE SURE I GET MY QUIET TIMES IN!

OH AND A QUICK NOTE ABOUT INCORPORATING PICTURES INTO MY BLOG - I DO NOT YET HAVE A FAMILY TO TAKE PICTURES OF - SO UNLESS I WANT TO PUT IN SILLY PICTURES LIKE THE LAST BLOG IT WOULD JUST BE PICTURES OF ME AND TATER - WHICH HONESTLY WOULD NOT BE VERY INTERESTING - SO ILL POST PICTURES OF KIDS CRUSADES AND TRIPS AND SUCH WHEN I TAKE THOSE BUT AS FAR AS EVERY DAY PICTURES - NOTHING PICTURE WORTHY HAPPENS EVERYDAY - ILL INCORPORTATE A CUTE PIC OF TATER OR MYSELF IF ONE ARISES BUT I DONT LIKE MY LAST POST OF SILLY SURFACE PICTURES SO I DONT THINK I WILL DO IT THAT WAY

SO WITH THAT SAID I ACTUALLY DO HAVE A VERY CUTE PICTURE OF MY TATER KITTY TO SHARE... THIS WAS TAKEN ONE MORNING LAST WEEK DURING MORNING QUIET/STUDY TIME - HE JUST LOOKED SO SWEET AND HIS FACE LOOKED SO LITTLE LIKE WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER THAT I COULDNT HELP BUT SNATCH UP MY PHONE AND TAKE A QUICK PICTURE - HE'S SO ADORABLE - I JUST AM IN LOVE WITH HIS LITTLE FACE EVERYDAY - I CANT WAIT TO HAVE CHILDREN TO FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT - HEE HEE - BUT I AM THANKFUL FOR MY TATER KITTY - HE KEEPS ME COMPANY AND IS A VERY SWEET SWEET KITTY - HE'S VERY CUDDLING AND LOVING!

THAT'S IT FOR TODAY - HAPPY TUESDAY :)

Joyful & Honored

So I must say this week has been great! I have felt great physically- after a week of pain from my neck, back, and hips - I have been filled with Joy! Aaaahhh, I really have felt just wonderful. I am so excited about my commitment to spend my mornings with my Heavenly Father. It has made ALL the difference in me. I am thankful for it all!!


I have decided to try to incorporate pictures into my blog, it is always much more fun to see pictures in a blog. We'll see how this goes. I am enjoying this seasong of American Idol! In watching it last night I realized I could never have the courage to do what those talented contestants have done. Wow! I love to sing, but I desire only to sing for the Lord not for the world. And thank goodness too, I seriously do not think I could do it, I dont think I have that kind of talent first and second it would be hard to get up and sing and then take that kind of criticism in front of so many people. Wow! But I enjoy watching the show none the less and just love David Archuletta, that 17 year old cutie just blows me away. He is sweet and humble and was born to sing. He is my favorite thus far!
But alas my life does certainly contain more than American Idol...

My morning times have become my favorite times of the day. I love my new routine! Who would have thought it. Not me, I have never been very good at getting up in the mornings - especially not on time and most especially not early enough to have a routine of more than rushing like mad to get ready for work and be less than 15 mins late.

Today's routine:(today I added exercise into my routine)
Wake @ 5:45am
Walk on treadmill for 15 mins (trying this new walk-off-the-fat program I found on MSN)
Shower
Bible/Quiet time (Journal, Read, Pray, Listen) - 6:30-7:00
Get ready for work
Leave for work by 7:30am

Aaaahhh, I love it. I look forward to it.
Not to mention...I love my journal it's fabulous:
I have almost filled my second one...and will soon be purchasing my third...Love It!

My week has included some hiccups...car seems to need to go back to the shop, but my mechanic has the flu, my mom is struggling alot, upstairs TV died, Dad has the flu too, poor thing - I hope he feels better soon!! My mechanic too!! There has been drama at work but I have handled it well and just stayed focued on God.

And some exciting moments...Neesie starting her new job-I am so proud of her & I know this is her calling & I know she is going to change so many lives-I am really so proud of her! The upstairs TV was revived(who knew unplugging would work), got to visit mom and Jacob on a sunny extended lunch and bless her...my work load at work has been managable, and that is nice for a change, it will change again as busy season hits but for now I am enjoying it...It's only Wednesday morning and I am sure there are other exciting things in store.

I am excited about what God has in store tonight. I know He desires to rock our socks off again tonight like He did last week. Wow, talk about amazing. Last week youth was incredible. Kids were filled with the Holy Spirit, I got to pray with a young lady as God did some MAJOR healing and work in her, and then some of us tarried in the presence of the Lord, and God set a fire in the hearts of three amazing young ladies to pray for the youth group and interceed for them, they invited me to pray with them...and Sunday afternoon we spent some time together praying and battling for the youth group. Amazing. God is working. He is up to something big. And I am so honored to be a part of it. He is up to something in the youth and He is up to something in Children's Church. One Generation Boot camp has been amazing. The kids are reading their bibles and hiding God's Word in their hearts. Wow!! And God has been teaching us about our Weapons and how to use them and wow it is just amazing. Our kids are Amazing and wonderful and I am so very very honored to get to be a part of their lives and their journey. I love spending time with them every week and see the things God is doing in them. I am so honored to be called to such an incredible ministry! HONORED!

It's Friday!

Today I am thankful for:
The Holy Spirit
The Rain
My partially clean house

I came home last night and began cleaning...oh to have ample time to clean like I used to...I love to have a truly clean house...I have a long way to go to get it done...but I got a good start last night...and I am thankful.

Well it's Friday and the meetings begin...but at least its Friday and then I have two days without Summer Classics and it's ---ahheeemm---Challenges.

What did I expect...Jesus IS my life for the rest of my life!

Yep I get to be a blogger...
This is one website not blocked by my employer...
I am thankful...

Well this has been a tough week...but what did I expect really...let me explain...

I decided that finally I was going to get up early and have my devotion time in the moring...now this has been something I have wanted to do...but I am NOT a morning person at all...but I decided that didnt matter I wanted to get up and start my day with God...and I have been very faithful to that this week...and I fully believe that it ticked my enemy off...darts have been flying left and right...

I deciede to finally get my car in the shop because I did not feel safe driving kids in in with the craziness that was going on with the breaks and I got completely fed up with putting anti-freeze or water in it EVERY week...sheesh...so I took my sweet Mallie car to the car doctor...aka the best mechanic in the world Revis Auto - located in Wilsonville - yes that was a shameless plug - guys my mechanic is the best and if you do not have a mechanic you love and trust I HIGHLY recommend Mr. Ronnie Revis...he is great and know how to talk to a lady without acting like she is a dumb bimbo...so anyway back to the story...I got a phone call from Ronnie and it turns out it is going to cost over $1000.00 to get my Mallie back...OH MY GOODNESS...WOW...who has $1000.00 on any given day...well certainly not me...and I was desperately trying to get the car back by Saturday because it's Zone Fine Arts weekend and I was planning on being a driver for Boo and Carrie...well that's out...so wow...we have issues here right...
Well to make a really long story short because this is shaping up to be a book now...
A box fell on me Sunday causing a reoccurance of serious neck, back, and hip pain...
Car diagnosis - grim
When I gave blood I received this GREAT t-shirt(now normally they only give XXL white ugly shirts but this time its a really cool shirt)...well she accidentally gave me a small :( and when I went to exchange it today the bus was pulling away...small but equally sad...sigh
And a few more things that thankfully I can not remember right now...yay

Well as I started this blog I realized...I made a commitment to God and it ticked the enemy of my soul off...well I have news for him...I got up this morning though I was completely exhausted from all the emotional pull of anxiety...and I will get up in the morning...and so on and so on...

The enemy will not win...hang it up...I am sold out...I belong to God and no matter what is slung my way I will love the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, & with all my strength.

Jesus IS my life for the rest of my life!

Bumps in the road

Ggggrrr
Ggggrrr
Ggggrrr
I know that bumps in the road are designed to teach us and make us stronger...and wow that just reminded me of a scripture I used to cling too...hhhmmm...I need to re-visit that...Romans 5:3-5
3Not only so, but we[a] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
yes I very much believe I need to cling to this in my disappointment today...
I had a goal to not over draw my account this year...well I haven't even made it out of January and my accoutn is overdrawn...talk about being disappointed...I cried this morning...but yet I still decided to press onward and forward...no matter how disappointed I felt...I am learning and I am aware that I need effort in this area...I guess that is a start...I am holding to that...I HATE MONEY...by the way...HATE IT...however I have been faithful in my tithes thus far this year and that is THE most important thing...and I know I will be okay...that God will take care of me...and I belive that with all my heart...and I do believe that I WILL have victory over this area in my life becuase I am an overcomer and more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus...I am standing on my Word this year and I will not be moved...in the words of 33Miles and their song Stand Amazed:
I don’t really know how long forever is
But that’s how long I’m gonna give my life
Everything I face, it tries to tear me down
No I won’t back away from the sacrifice
I won’t forget what you’re love means to me
You’re always there to light my way
(Chorus)
When all the lights go down and the world is quiet
No one is around
I wanna be the same man that will serve you then
Like I serve you now
That my convictions never change
O let my need for you remain
As real as the moment I was saved
I will always stand amazed
Sometimes my heart desires such selfish things
When the moment comes help me to trust
Something better that you have for me
If I could just hold on to you enough
I won’t forget what you’re love means to me
You’re always there to light my way
(Chorus)
You will be my strength when I am weak
When I wanna give in and not turn the other cheek
Let this be the prayer that I speak
That I speak

Thank you Lord for hope today in the midst of my disappointment...that is new for me...and I give YOU the glory for it!!
Thank you for the blessing you sent my way today!
Thank you for always being you in my life!!
I love you Father!!
In Jesus Saving name.
Amen

Welcome 2008!

Welcome to 2008!

Year of the Spirit

where...

Comfort is not an option



I must say that I love New Years, I love the opportunity to start fresh, clean the slate and move forward. I wish there were another point right smack in the middle of the year to do such. But I'll take what I have and that's New Years!



So far in 2008...



I have EXCITEMENT...oh boy do I have excitement...I am excited to be on a diet...more excited to BE on the diet than the small amout of weight I have lost thus far...go WW...lovin it...I am excited to be on a budget...silly I know but I guess what I like really about these things is that I am diciplining myself...and I like the feeling of changing for the good!



I feel GOOD about Me...for a year or more me hasn't been doing so good, me has been lost lost lost...lost in a valley that was far and wide...I feel myself climbing out of that valley...being washed in the Word...and finding new hope and strength on the climb up...and again I am EXCITED about that!!



I fasted TV for a week...well I have two days left on the fast but I am thoroughly enjoying it...it feels a bit like a slow down to me...it's nice to hear the quiet and to study the word without anticipating what I am going to be watching later...I am unsure what I will do TVwise after the fast...I think I need to be TV free much more than I have been before...so maybe I will designate days that the TV doesn't get turned on!



So with that said I am ready for a New Year and a new Me...and I believe God is going before me to prepare the way!! I am submersing myself in the Word...and feeling quite refreshed...I am EXCITED about the ministry this New Year will hold and I am ready to give of myself like I used to. I can't wait...I'm EXCITED!!!



It's so cool how this year is beginning with going back to the basics...with diet - WW(Weight Watchers)!!!, budget - I have a new planner and I am planned down to the dollar and down to the minute!!!!, Children's Church - One Generation Boot Camp!!!!!!!!, Youth - Inside Out series!!! - but it's all so personal for me...I think it's all apart of God's great plan for me this year...taking me back and building me stronger!!!



It's so....so....EXCITING!!!!



Onward and Forward and Up!!



2008 here I come!!



Father,

this year belongs to you, I pray that you would appoint every step and every opportunity that is to come. I pray that I would be lead SOLEY by YOU. Thank You for the EXCITEMENT you have placed in me and thank You for bringing me back to me...the me You created me to be. Thank You for your never ending work in me...may I be simply a willing vessel this year...for your kingdom...my heart is to impact your kingdom in a positive way...I pray for souls to be won this year...many many many souls...I pray for walls to be torn down in hearts...I pray for healing...deep healing...I pray for You to be Glorified in all I GET to do this year. I love you Father, and I live to serve You. Thank You for all the opportunites you give me to do so, may I make you proud in this New Year. In Jesus name! Amen!