Let's talk about ABBA FATHER!

So not to my surprise really God is amazing! The past few weeks He has just been doing a really awesome work in me!!!
There was "a bit of silliness" in my life that I have been struggling with for quite sometime and He began showing me things I didnt like and things that didnt fit about that bit of silliness. Just stirring things up in me very subtly. Then He spoke some direct things to me on a Wednesday night. Then He ordained a complete seperation from the bit of silliness. It could only be my Father that did this all. No other way it could have all happened like that. He has now brought me to the place where I am DONE with the bit of silliness and REFOCUSED on HIM!!
In fact this is what He spoke to me:
I am
I can
&
I will
~God
Also Matthew 7:14
" But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
Refocus and STAY FOCUSED!
I am now very excited about my summer. My plans are to focus in on God and take advantage of every opportunity HE brings my way!! I can not wait.
And it all gets started this weekend we head off to CAMP!!!!
I can not wait!!
Abba Father, Thank you for your gentleness and your wisdom and for showing me the things you have shown me and for telling me the things you have told me and for working in me this awesome work you are doing. Thank you for helping me see this bit of silliness once and for all! Continue your work in me and keep me strong and Focused on YOU!!
Thank you Father!! Forgive me for getting caught up in the bit of silliness!! I love you!!

Where...How...

So lately I have been wondering...
Where has Tabbie gone?
The Tabbie that is so sure and calm and in tune with God...
The Tabbie that is patient and caring and deep...
The Tabbie that works hard on being who God created her to be...
I feel like this past year I have lost me...
I feel like I have lost me...
In the wait, in the heartache, in the question WHY?, in the promises,
In the selfishness, in the desire, in the hope, in the doubt, in the dreams...
How could I have lost what I had, who I was?
I remember sitting around a table telling some ladies how sure I was of me and what I wanted and what I was willing to do...
I was sure, I did know, I felt that deep...
How could that have left...
How could I have let that go...
How could I have gotten so bogged down...
I miss feeling sure, I miss being knowledgable, and wise...
Now I feel like I am just surviving from moment to moment...
Barely existing and making it through...
Makes me angry and disappointed...
That I could let me slip away...
That I could let myself spiral down...
I miss my closness with God, my sureness in me from Him...
Not that I havent been close to Him or been with Him...
It's just so different right now...
I just miss me...
The me that was sure, confident, and on top of things...
I feel very close to the bottom right now...
Not anywhere close to the top...

My prayer is that I will pull through and get back to the top...not that I'll ever be completely on the top...but I want some of me back...