Heavy heart...

Tonight I come with mixed emotions.

Today I spent all day at the church celebrating incredible young ladies in Girl's Ministries and their amazing accomplishments. It was a beautiful day of celebrating and loving on amazing girls!!! I am very proud of them and very honored to be joining them on a peace of their life's journey.

Yet my heart is very heavy this evening as well. As tomorrow our girl (my lil sister in law) begins her first day of high school. She does so without her mama. She'll wake up without her mom's help, get ready, leave, experience her first day of high school, the high school her mom graduated from, and she'll come home...and her mama won't be sitting on the porch waiting for her when she gets off the bus and she won't get to sit and share her day with her mom. My heart is breaking all over again. I hurts so bad for her. I want so badly to take the pain away or at least to ease it some. But truly there is no way to do that. All I can do right now is just lift her before the Lord and beg Him to hold her so tight and protect her and love her and lead her and guide her and bring her whatever comfort and peace He can. This hurts and I hate it so much. Another first without my precious mother in law...but worse than that, another first without her mama. Another first that my Hubby and his brother and her daddy and all our family do everything they possibly can to ease the pain we all feel so deeply.

Mama Darlene, we miss you so much. I know that you are with us and watching over us. I know how incredibly proud you would be of all of us...YOUR First Born as he started Bible College two weeks ago, Your Second Born as he adopted our niece, YOUR Baby Girl as she begins high school, even me as I begin my second year of Bible College. You loved us all so very much and not having you here and not having your love and support so deeply impacts our lives. Oh how we miss you so so much.

Father I give it all to you. Everything that I cannot fix and all the pain that I cannot take away. All the moments that re-break my heart and deeply move me to seek you with all of my heart on behalf of those I love with the heart YOU have given me to love them with. Oh Father we need you. Father we need you so much and we want you in our lives. Father I ask you for protection, YOUR Supernatural protection, for you grace, mercy, favor, and PEACE, YOUR comfort, understanding, and for You to reveal your purpose and calling for our lives. Oh Father I love you so much and I know you love us all with and everlasting love and I am so Thankful and grateful for that love!!! I am so Thankful to YOU for our families, they are truly precious and dear to us. Thank YOU for their love and support. Thank YOU mostly for YOUR love and support for YOUR plan and purpose. In Jesus name. Amen.