Being Stirred
God's Word stirs me...I've just fininshed reading Esther and started reading Job...and today I realized how much God's Word stirs me...makes me think and look at myself to see if I am in check with the things I need to be doing and correcting...both Esther and Job are pretty amazing examples to us...Esther risked her on life to save her people...little did she know the plan God had in store for her...through reading Esther I noticed all the things God put in place to save his people...not all easy things for Esther either...but necessary to get her to the place God needed her to save the people...it is just incredible to see...I see God's hand in my own life like that as well...not that I'll be queen and save an entire people..but God has had a hand in my whole life to bring me to where I am today and were I will be in the future...it is amazing...and Job...wow...I would only hope to be able to stand and worship and praise God like he does as things are taken away from him...he simply trusts not matter what...I have huge doubts in myself there...I mean if my entire family and fortune were taken away from me in one day...would I immediately turn and praise God...I pray I would...Job was incredibly faithful...incredibly sold out...incredibly willing to give it all back to God...sometimes I am not even willing to give God my day...I have only begun reading Job today...I have read it before but this time it I am looking within me to see if I have those same qualities...Christlike qualities...Christ was faithful even to death...would I be that faithful...I pray so...but again have some major doubts...not that I am asking to be tested at all...lol...just looking within to see how strong my faith is and allowing Job to encourage me there and learning from him...I love God's word...it stirs me!! Hope you'll let it stir you today!!!

Hola...ok well I went back on what I said...I got another cat...so far it has already been much better than the last time...my new kitty is a boy...he has a bobbed tail...he is orange...and his name is Tater...he is the sweetest and funniest kitty ever...I love him...I have had him since Tuesday afternoon...so already I've had him longer than the last one by a couple hours...ha...well this week has been good...I have been reading in the book of Esther...there are several things that stood out to me...first was that Esther was willing to give up her life for her people...the second was that the King couldnt sleep so he had the journals read to him...that was so totally God that he couldnt sleep and because of that he found out about Mordecai...and it was interesting that Haman did not get away with the evil he was planning...but it was turned back on him...and it was so God that turned it back...it was just cool to read the story and see how God was looking out and putting little things in place just in time to stop the evil from happening...so cool...you just never know when those little things are things that God has put there to keep you safe and protect you...wow...what a cool story...of God's faithfullness to us...and an encouraging story of how we can be used...like Mordecai told Esther in chapter 4 the end of verse 14 from the Message Bible..."Who knows? Maybe you were made queen for such a time as this." Who knows maybe we are where we are for such a time as this...wow...it would do me good at work to keep that in mind...really good...wow...what a revelation all of a sudden...thanks you Father...wow...you know God is so good...and my most favorite thing is to be used by Him...well bon voyage for now...got a wonderful weekend planned...Jen and Jason are coming over tonight...Mom is coming over tomorrow morning with Jacob my little fatboy...and Saturday night I'm headed to hang with my other family and Sunday is pastor appreciation YES...and Sunday night we are going to the movies as a family...I hope we get to see Flightplan...have a good one...lata gata!!!

Hi...Happy Tuesday...guess I'd better catch up on the weekend...I worked until 7:00pm Friday night...it was the last shipping day of the month and trucks were late...but I didnt have anything to do since Jen had company coming over so it didn't bother me at all to have to work that late...and Saturday I finally got to clean my apartment...wow...I am ever so thankful...I even reorganized my kitchen cabinets...aaahhhhhh....I feel soooo much better...my house is spotless...well except my guest bedroom...it needs some work...and I am quickly getting behind on laundry...but my house is clean...its clean its clean its clean...phew...it makes me wanna bake...how crazy is that...lol...I walked into my clean kitchen the other night and though...oh I really want to bake something...lol...ha...anyway then Saturday night Neesie and I played bejeweled forever...it was so much fun...Sunday we started the Christmas play in children's church and then went to Guntersville for a kids crusade...I could only go Sunday night because of work...but that's okay...I made my peace with it...surprisingly...it was difficult but I knew that God worked it out that way for a reason...because last night was the Women's Meeting and Miss Darlene asked me to share my testimony...I did and it went well I think...all I know is that I would share it again and again if it touches and changes lives...it was hard because that was the first time I had shared it in front of a big group like that(30)...but I am glad I did it and I would do it again in a heart beat...I mean really if what I went through can help give someone else hope and faith and help them to better understand how much God loves us...then I'll tell it everyday...it makes every single thing I went through worth it...every part of it...I do not regret anything...I would not change anything...I am only thankful God uses me and my life to touch others in such a way...I am so thankful to all of those who were able to be there last night...I was so affraid that I would have no safe friends there...and those that came touched my heart so very much I dont even have words to express...I needed that support and really I cant even express how much it meant...anyway...then we got to decorate cakes...that was so fun...and I loved watching everyone work and decorate their cake...Darlene really out did herself...it was alot of fun...you know I just have to say how incredible God is...I was really blessed by sharing my testimony last night...I know that He was in control and that He brought out the things that needed to be said...I couldnt even begin to tell all that He has done for me....it would take months years maybe...He has done so much...I could ask for none better than Him!!!

It has been a tumultuous week...kind of like a roller coaster for me...but the most awesome thing about it is that God taught me things through it and He never left my side...and I never left His...I am thankful that the week is coming to an end and hopeful that my plans for tonight and tomorrow will not get messed up...I just have to share the things that God is to me...the things He has been for me this week...My Father when I needed warms arms around me...My Comforter when I cried...My Peace when I was anxious...My Rock when all else around me seemed to be falling down...My Joy in the middle of my circumstances...Faithful when I was short of faithful to Him...My Best Friend when I cried out to Him He listened and He heard...My Victory over the battles I fought...My All in All...and that is the kind of Father/God He desires to always be to each of us...it is just a matter of us allowing Him to be those things...and that is probably the biggest miracle of all...I allowed Him to be those things...those places were the first places I turned...His Word, prayer, and I simply listened...I cried out to him even with the smallest of requests...and He answered...with stickers none the less...you see one day I just asked for a good day for joy...and all day He provided little blessings...all day...and shimmer stickers was one of the blessings...He's cool like that...anyway I just wanted to share that...You know God has done so much work in me...so much...I am to tell my testimony at our women's meeting Monday night...and for me to even attempt to tell them all that God has done for me it would take days...and I would still be leaving things out...I can not even begin to go there...He is just that awesome...and I am so thankful that He is working in me and changing me and teaching me and loving me and that He chose me...He chose you too...will you allow Him to do in you what He desires to...will you allow Him to bless you as he desires too...will you allow Him to use you as He desires to...the only thing you have to do is allow Him to do it...the places He has called me I know I can not do on my own...I know I am not equipt to do...but He is...He is the Lord of Lords...and all I have to do is simply allow Him to do...will you do the same????

Whoa the things that are going through me right now...a multitude of things...most I cant and wont put words to...so moving on...one of the things I have heard from God this week has to do with music...well namely one of my favorite country bands...Rascal Flatts...Jen let me borrow her new CD...oh my goodness...I love it...I love their music the way they sound everything...but here's the kicker...I listened to it all day Monday...and by the time I got home I was super bummed...and I was thinking...when am I going to fall in love and get married...blah blah blah...the thing is...it took my mind off God and put me in a mode where it was hard to focus on God and wait patiently for the things He has promised me...I dont need to be sitting around thinking oh poor pitiful me that hasnt happened to me yet or anything like that...God has spoken to me about music before...my Kelly Clarkson CD...love her...love her voice...love her music...but...it gives a different view of love than God wants me to have...so I dont listen to that one either...God hasnt said to me dont listen to secular music yet...but there are certain things he speaks to me about individual songs or groups and such...which could be His way of slowly weeding it all out...so anyway in my conversation with God Monday night during my journaling/devotion time...we got me back on track again...so that was a good thing...a really good thing...lol...because I DO want to wait patiently for the things God has for me and not jump the gun for the things I want...what I want is not good enough...God knows whats best...well anyway...I so feel like for the past couple of days I havent been explaining things well...like my words are not coming out right...I hope that is not the case here...I am so frustrated right now though...blah...anyway...God is teaching me so much...I just wish I could get a handle on it all...it seems a bit overwhelming at this moment...but I know this moment will pass...so I'm pressing on...so I'm going to go and keep pressing on...lata!

Fall Fever!!!!

Happy Fall Yall!!!!

I can not wait for the weather to change and cool off...and the leaves to changes colors...what photo opportunities...lol...and with my new borrowed toy...a SLR 35mm camera...and the dreams of a brand new one soon...I can't wait...I love warm clothes...scarves...gloves...jackets...coats...sweaters...love the crisp air...love it all...I'm tellin ya Fall Fever has officially set in...ok moving on from that...real quick cause I have a deadline to meet...this week has been pretty good so far...the weekend was great...JBQ was awesome...it was the best day...and I coached the achiever team and had the best time...I loved that time encouraging the kids...loved it...it was a great day...Sunday was great too...we sang and sang...cause this weekend we start the Christmas play...and I cant wait to see what it is this year...and I am only doing a short BGMC Service...and then we are starting the play...I had some really good devotion time last night...God spoke to me out of Psalms...and it was just what I am doing...so God was just encouraging me to keep it up...it was great...I havent been sleeping too great so pray for me there...well I gotta go...gotta get these invoices out by 11:00am...lata!

I am so glad today is Friday...another busy but wonderful weekend ahead...tonight going to my brother's football game...tomorrow our first Junior Bible Quiz match...wahoo I am so excited...then to my familys to chill...and Sunday off to church I go...and for lunch we are having roast...by request of me...yum...I am excited...I so can not wait for the weather to cool down...man I have fall fever like no body's business...I cant wait to start wearing warmer clothes...especially since I am gaining tons of weight again...blah...oh yeah Heather just sent me pics from Kentucky...wahoo...here they are...have a great weekend...I love Jesus...

This is our crew as the Incredibles...Scotty is the dad...Haley is the daughter...Marcie is the mom...I am the fast little boy...and Katie is the baby...and Jason and PT just think they are strong but I think Kelsie and Kayla can take 'em!!!
This is the kids choir the last night...look at all the kids...wahoo...it was a great year!!!

Wow last night was awesome...about a dozen teenagers asked Jesus into their heart...how awesome it that...and it was so awesome to see their friends stand behind them and encourage them...wow...I just want to cry...it was incredible...I went down to the front to pray...not because I knew anyone but because I was so happy and excited and I wanted to support their courage...man...how awesome...and I loved the praise and worship...loved it loved it loved it...and after church I went and hung out with my family...and for the first time in FOREVER...we all just hung out and chatted...all of us...Neesie, Dad, Me, Jared and Daniel...it was an awesome family moment...and we got a picutre of us lounging on the couch for our scrapbook...wahoo...tonight is my clean the house night...and I am actually excited...I am so ready to get my house clean again...and I want to pull out any Fall stuff I have like my door hanger...cause guess what...TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF AUTUMN...and we all know what that means...I LOVE FALL...lol...love it love it love it...I am really going to have to make more time at home to keep myhouse clean and enjoy it...yep yep...work is going good today...getting stuff done and that is always nice...I cannot wait till it cools down outside so I can go out at lunch and enjoy the FALL weather...man I can not wait...DID I MENTION I LOVE AUTUMN...lol...okay okay...I'll stop that now...anyway...tomorrow night is another Chelsea football game...I want Daniel to get to play...I like football...and I love being there to support my brother...and Saturday is Bible Quiz...I am so excited about Bible Quiz...I can not wait for Saturday...yehaw...I cant wait cant wait cant wait...well I had better get back to work...I am leaving you with a great picture of Danielle and Me taken last Saturday night at the Columbiana Youth Rally...I love black and white pictures!!!

I learned something about myself just today...in the middle of a conversation with Neesie...my eyes were opened to an insecurity I have...I didn't realize I had it until it came out of my mouth in that conversation...dont you love when that happens...well it kinds freaks me out...its like I say something and then I'm like wow...yeah that is it...and until I said it I had no idea...so that was pretty awesome...maybe now I can work on that insecurity and not be insecure there...we shall see...lots to work on these days...I keep myself busy like that...ha...well God and me...He is so faithful and allows me to see things just as I need to...He is such a great Father...wow...ok so today has been pretty good...getting my stuff done...and that feels great...and tonight is church...but before I am having dinner with Becky and Adam...which I am super excited about because today is her birthday and I have been really needing and wanting to spend some time with her...but I am not very good at managing my time...in fact I stink at it pretty badly...one of the things I am working on...lots to work on...but hey I am never bored...lol...well I guess I dont have much more to say...See ya on the flip side...uumm...meaning...lata!!

Good afternoon...well today is considerably better workwise than yesterday...I have managed to get my mind off having to have a reason for being here...I am simply here because that is where God has me at the moment...who am I to complain...is there not worse places I could be...uummm...yeah...not to mention...they are pretty good to me here...aside from the occasional bad day or someone being ugly or the fact that it is not ministry...this is a great job...and my bosses are wonderful...why am I complaing...really the only reason I was complaining is because it is not ministry...otherwise I dont have a problem being here...lol...anyway I am better today...even jovial...ha...do you like my word...I have been able to stand in faith so strong last night and today...and the situation that came about is a rough one...but I have so much faith and peace and calmness...it is still odd to me the calmness that comes upon me in times of crisis...but it is God and it is great when He floods me with that peace...and I am thankful for it and the faith that I have...I know God is going to reveal Himself in this situation...I know it without doubt...and I hope it all comes about quickly...I am look forward to watching Him work in lives...He really is an incredible God...He really is more than the human mind can fathom...His goodness towards us makes absolutely no sense to us...but the beauty of it is that it doesnt have to make sense...it just is...and the fact that we do not understand it doesnt change the fact that it there abundantly...that is pretty cool...cause if the world stopped because I didnt understand it then hey...this would be one still earth...lol...there are so many things that I do not understand...but I know that I do not have to understand them in order to have the faith that God has given me...otherwise I wouldnt have that faith right now...I know I know...I am not making much sense...these are just things that I am realizing as I am typing...anyway...I am thankful that the day has improved over yesterday...last night I even got out and walked about 8 laps on the track...and I am going to do that again tonight...I am gradually moving back up in to my bigger clothes...uuuggghhh...so not fun...so I am definately wanting to walk again as much as I can force myself to...I just want to not have a weight problem...but since that is not the case...I need to really be motivate to work hard on it...I need to really stay on top of the whole exercise thing...I havent gotten there yet...but maybe I will...well I had better go and run downstairs to get tickets...let my afternoon begin...bye for now!

Hi...back at work again today...oh the joys...right?...NO...I am so struggling here...but it is always like that when I come back off a ministry trip...I dont see the importance of patio furniture in the grand scheme of things...I see the importance of people...but I dont get much time with the people...I have to stay busy busy...but you know I need to stop belly aching and just be content...I am fine doing the work today...but I am not content...thats alright though...well the weekend was good...Homecoming gameas fun Friday night...Chelsea won...yeah for them...then Neesie and I layed on my bed and watched a movie on the laptop...it was fun...Saturday we had breakfast and I mowed with Dad...let me just tell you...I had the best time mowing...I really do love to mow...it was fun...then we had an awesome lunch that Neesie made...it was yummy...then Neesie and I started playing dominoes then I had to get ready for the Youth Rally...the rally was good...no many came...but it was still good...then Danielle and I went and got some Taco Bell and went back to the apt and ate the I took her home...it was great to get to spend some time with her...I have seen her since before I left for KY...it was really awesome...then I went home to start breakfast casseroles for Sunday morning...Sunday was really good...I made a Maple Pancake Bake for Sunday school...children's church was good...I was stretched again...I had to talk to a puppet...I am not great at it but I did okay...at least I remember to look at the puppet this time instead of the puppeteer..lol...so that was a stretch...we did the new gorilla song we learned in KY and JR KOR kids came in for the first part of the service...I think they had a great time...after church Neesie and I worked on our scrap book after lunch which is looking great if I do say so myself...then on to drama practice...that went really well...Marcie had to come in a get us when service started cause we were still practicing...it was GAS night...which means the youth do service...it was great...really great...I love to hear the youth praise team they are awesome...I love to hear Carrie and Boo sing and loved that at the end Kara and Katie sang and led worship...they both love to sing so much and sing wonderfully...it was awesome...and I love to hear Boo preach...he is awesome and is anointed...and fun...I really look forward to GAS nights...after church I went and hung out with the Jones'...we watched this really cool hunting talk show...I liked it...but I am such a girl...everytime someone would shoot something I'd go awww...duh...that is what hunting is about Tabbie...but still it is hard to see something get shot and not react...God made women like that...I shall not deny my girly side...lol...it made me a little sad...though I am not against hunting...I like to eat deer meat(now that I am used to it)...anyway then I showed Haley and PT Katie Harris' Xanga site and showed them how to get on it...that was fun...and PT and I decided to do a JBQ Xanga site...I created it eariler...I am super excited about it...and this weekend is our first JBQ match...I am so excited...I cant wait...I love bible quiz...both JR and SR...I love it...and this weekend I am going to get a picture of our bible quiz teams for the Xanga site...wahoo...I really am excited about that...lol...well that is an update on my weekend...today has been good...I am just struggling with a few things...mainly work...but it is nothing major...I know it will pass...but let me just say I cant wait for the day I get to quit my secular job and focus on family and ministry...I cant wait...I lived my dream last week...and I didnt want to come back from it...every kids crusade is like that...especially the ones where I dont have to work during the day...lol...that is what make Kentucky so great for me...I get time off of work so I can focuse my mind totally on ministry and the people around me...it is wonderful...ok Jen is gone to visit her parents this week...I'll miss her and IMing her...it is sad not seeing that little thing flash at the bottom...I hope she is having a great time though...and Memphis...I have never been there but i like Tennessee...I want to go to Gatlinburg this fall...even only to drive up to see the beauty and drive back home...I need to find me someone who is game to do that...hint hint Becky...my only friend that doesnt think that is stupid and will spend a whole day with me in a car...speaking of this week is Becky's birthday...she is getting old...lol...not...I cant wait to go get her something...I love birthdays...it is a great time to say...I love you and am thankful for you...I really dont spend as much time as I should with her...so I am slightly clueless as to what to get her for her birthday...what she needs, wants, likes, etc...makes me disappointed in myself for not spending more time with her...so Becky if you read this...I love you and I am sorry I dont come see you more...bad me...I hope that I can come up with something you will love for your birthday though...I want you to know I love you and appreciate you...okay well...that is all for now...until next time...I love you all so very very much...I'll be here seeking God and His will and His wisdom...God is Good all the time...all the time God is Good!!!

Not a single comment while I was gone...makes me sad...quick update...Kentucky was awesome...I was not ready to come back...to business and work...seriously it was perfect...we slept in and relaxed all day...worked hard from 5-9...came home ate and visited...then to bed...it was just amazing...I loved it...I was stretched during services...danced in the gorillas and a character...but I didnt fret too much and just did it...it was great...the responses were great...it was just incredible...I am so thankful I got to go again this year...I look forward to next year...and hope I get to go then too...anyway that is my update...lata!

Ok my friends...the week is coming to an end...my attitude is slightly better...I have been able to get done the things that were detremental for my leaving tomorrow morning for Kentucky...I managed to get my attitude under control this morning when a co-worker smarted off about the amount of time I take off...I said nothing and walked out...I wanted to tell her that though it was none of her business...I have been here five years and get 3 weeks vacation...I used 5 days for camp...4 days for cruise...and am using 4 days for Kentucky...not to mention the extended hours I have been working since getting back from camp in June or the fact that I'll be working some while in Kentucky...I managed thus far to say none of those things...but to relenquish my attitute toward her and my small fear that she is going to ruffle feathers over it, to God...I know that it is because of Him that I am able and allowed to do all the wonderful things I get to do...and if it is His will that I am able to continue to do these things then there is nothing that the little busybody here can say to change that...this coworker has always driven me crazy...but I asked God today to help me to see her as He sees her...and it helped some...I still need to work on that and I asked for grace for her and it helped too...I still need to work there as well...but I am trying and seeing these things as they happen now where as before I never saw them until much later after I had alread sinned greatly toward the other person...so I have grown...but I want to grow more...so today is better than the others...I came in task oriented and did not even turn my computer on until I absolutely had to...and I got things done...hhhmmm...I need to remember that...I did manage to get packed last night...and the guys in my life would be extremely proud of me...I pack for a week in ONE suitcase...and it is not even my biggest suitcase...so go me...now the challenge will be to get all my stuff back in that one suitcase at the end of the week...then and only then can I be considered a true "manly" packer...ha...so you guys if you read this...you need to brag appropriately...lol...so I got packed last night...then sat on my bed and worked on invoices and watched TV...that is the longest amount of time I have spent in front of the TV in a good long while...I watched two episodes of Scrubs...I usually dont watch that one but I knew Jay Leno and Conan would come on that channel later and I didnt want to have to get up and mess up all my work to change the channel...crazy I know...anyway...2 episodes of scrubs...part of an episode of ER(was on the phone through some of it)...then guess what...the news came on...so I HAD to get up and change the channel cause I hate watching the news...I read bits and pieces online but I cant sit and watch all that sad stuff and hear it over and over in the same hour...so I watched two episodes of Andy Griffith...man what a show...I really love it...you dont have to worry about hearing things you shouldn't be listening to or seeing things you shouldn't be watching...and it teaches good morals...by that time I was finally done with my invoices and extremely exhausted and sleepy so I cleaned it all up...and decided NOT to move on to my second stack of invoices...and went to bed...phew what and evening huh...I did however, like watching TV while I worked...matching invoices is not a job you have to think a whole lot about...so it made it pass quicker...it is very monotonous and boring but hey somebody's gotta do it...anyway that was my evening...I got up this morning and got ready for work...finished packing the things I couldnt pack last night and a few others I forgot...like my coloring book and crayons...that would have been terrible to forget those...phew...it was a close one...then I loaded down my car and headed to work...with a million and one things on my brain to get done...but here I sit at 11:41 with most all of it done...THANK YOU JESUS...YOU ARE THE MAN...now the biggest thing I need to get done is some serious praying...I have slacked on my devotion time the past couple days...got lost in the stress...and I wonder why I wasnt handling it very well...humans...you'd think we'd learn...but no we are idiots...well at least I am...but anyway...I need to find some time and get in my prayer journal and go to town on some things...I have read a couple chapters in Jeremiah today...the Word is so refreshing...even in Jeremiah...I just love God's Word...anyway so I am getting things done and the more I get done the better I feel...ok so Kentucky...we leave tomorrow morning at 7:00AM...yikes...can we say coffee please...lol...I am ready...ready to dive into ministry for 4 days...ready to work, play, hang out, eat, pray, worship, minister, pray, ready ready ready...I'll be doing a character...which is taking me OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE...but that is okay...I am ready...I am doing Kara's character and she does such a good job...I dont think I'll even come close to doing as good a job as she does...but at least I have something great to imitate!!!...that is very helpful for me...very...I hope it goes well...I cant wait to be there and see all the people and get started...ok well I had better get on to lunch...I may or may not update while in Kentucky...I dont want to spend alot of time one the computer while I am there...I want to enjoy the people I am with and nap time...lol...so I'll holla when I get back...pray for us...we want to see kids lives changed, healed, and we want them to know how much God loves them...love you guys...I will miss you all!!!!

Stress and Bad Days

ok so I have been having numerous bad days...uuuuugggghhhh...I hate it...and I know I could choose differently but its like I cant somehow...which is stupid because I have Christ living in me...there is nothing I cant do...work has been horrible...and so stressful...and I have been so incredibly busy after work too...it makes it hard to keep a good attitude...but I need to do better...and its like what I hate the most is my family...namely Neesie gets the brunt of it...its because I am comfortable with her being myself and letting my true self show...but I dont want to be ugly to her just because I am in a bad mood...cause that is when I am most choleric...most of the time I have good control over that...but let me get in a bad mood and especially one not under God...and whoa...that is what I was yesterday...bless her heart...she just wanted to make me feel better...but in a mood like I was in I dont tolerate that well...and bless her heart...I feel bad...so this is a public apology...I am sorry for my cruddy mood and that I allowed noone to be able to cheer me up...thanks for trying Neesie and Jen...I am sorry Neesie that my ugly choleric side came out and that you were affected by it...I am sorry God for the attitude of my heart...and the words that came out of my mouth...I am asking you all to forgive me...I could give excuse after excuse but the bottom line is I need to do better...I need to do alot better...I truly disagree right now with what my booklet said about me secretly enjoying being busy...maybe a little busy but not this busy I need down time...aaaahhhh...I have no idea how I am going to get all the things done I need to get done before we leave on Saturday...I know it will get done somehow but I dont know how I am going to keep my sanity through it...but I will do that too...okay so this post is crazy...I am trying really hard to be in a good mood and to be my normal self...but I am still struggling a bit with that...and that funny thing is...is that I know that I need to rise above all this...like it says in Jeremiah 12:5..."If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses?"...I sure am letting this world wear me out...and I dont like that at all...stress stinks...but its just stress...and on the whole what does it matter...my God loves me...He uses me to love others...and I am okay...and today I am going to try to keep that in my head...wish me luck..lol...I'll need it...Help me Father...I need you!!!

Joe Normal

26 % Nerd, 21% Geek, 26% Dork

For The Record:A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

You scored less than half in all three, earning you the title of: Joe Normal. This is not to say that you don't have some Nerd, Geek or Dork inside of you--we all do, and you can see the percentages you have right above. This is just to say that none of those qualities stand out so much as to define you. Sure, you enjoy an episode of Star Trek now and again, and yeah, you kinda enjoyed a few classes back in the day. And, once in a while, you stumble while walking down the street even though there was nothing there to cause you to trip. But, for the most part, you look and act fairly typically, and aren't much of an outcast. I'd say there's a fair chance someone asked you to take this test. In any event, fairly normal. Congratulations! If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback!

Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:


You scored higher than 7% on nerdiness


You scored higher than 20% on geekosity


You scored higher than 33% on dork points

I have no words really to describe what I feel today...I know God is near...I am thankful...had the best weekend ever...mom came by Friday night and I got to hang out with her and my nephew...wow he has gotten so big...he is just a big kid...he is two and bigger than any of the four and five year olds I know...wow...but he is funny...and it was so fun to hang with them for a little bit...then I hung out with Carrie and Boo the rest of the night...Saturday Nessie, Dad, Daniel and I went out in the boat and we had a good time...Daniel had a skiing accident that about freaked me out but I went directly into rescue mode so I didnt freak out...and he is alright...he has a gash on his head just above his righ eyebrow...but he is okay that God...then Dad and I went shopping for Neesie's birthday and had fun...it was great to have Daddy-Daughter time...I loved it...Sunday morning I did BGMC service and it went better than it has gone in a long time...and I know it was because of my attitude and my heart...it was great...then the kids that participated in Ten Dollar Sundays got to throw water balloons at PT, Marcie, and me...wahoo...that was a hoot...then we had Neesie's birthday lunch and it was awesome...Jared cooked the steaks perfectly...and we had cake and she opened our gifts...what fun...then I napped the rest of the afternoon...wahoo..it was great...then Neesie and I wrote the human video for drama practice that starts this Sunday...it is going to be a fun vidoe...then we watch a little TV and Daniel came in and then we went to bed...Monday we got up cleaned and got ready for company...the Jones', Arias', and Riggins' came over and we colored, ate, and played Shanghi...we played Shanghi for four hours...wow that is the longest game ever...and of course PT won...lol...it was alot of fun...we laughed alot...then Neesie, Daniel, and I sat around and talked for a bit then I went home...I had incredible bible study and prayer time last night...man...I read for a while...then I journeled...then I started praying and it was so awesome...I was praying very specific things for people...it was totally a God thing...I slept with the fan on and the windows open upstairs...it was great...I loved it...I am going to do that again tonight...work is going good today...I have been trying to catch up on my reading in Jeremiah while I work today as well...I have several chapters to go...after work I am going by moms to visit for a bit and then home to do laundry and start packing for Kentucky...how awesome...a four day work week and then I head off to Kentucky for a Kids Crusade and four days off work...I cant wait...Kentucky is going to be awesome I just know it...I thank you Jesus for what you are going to do there this year...well that is a pretty stinkin detailed summary of what my weekend was...lol...not that you asked...anyway I wish I could express what I feel today...I just know God is so near...and I am thankful...and I want Him to be near...I am peaceful, content, joyful, really words just aren't coming close to describing it...it is awesome...God is awesome...He is awesome even when I am going through hard times...I am thankful...He is growing me in so many ways...I am thankful...well I guess I had better end this novel and get on about my day here at work...I need to spin out a report and go to the post office before starting on invoices for the day...hope your day is going well...remember God is good...all the time...and all the time...God is good...I am in love with my God!!! Lata!

The nicest most wonderful Neighbor

Ok so I have the most wonderful neighbor in the world...look at the wonderful stoop art she left me this morning!!! How sweet is she...she is the nicest...always talks to me when we happen to see each other...honks and waves at me if she passes me in town...takes care of my rose bush and dries out my welcome mat after it rains...she has invited me over for spagetti but I couldnt go...when Katrina was here the other night and I had my door open she poked her head in and we chatted a bit...she is the coolest...always friendly...always ready to help...when I was leaving for camp she helped me carry my luggage out to the car...she really just blessed my day today with this aweseome message that I saw right as I walked out of my door...when we were outside chatting the other night in the storm she was telling me she had bought sidewalk chalk at a yard sale and was ready to use it...and I told her I couldnt wait to come home and see her artwork all over the sidewalk...and how sweet was her firt artwork!!! Anyway this was just too sweet this morning and I wanted to share!!! Oh and today is the first day of September and how wonderful did it feel outside this morning...gave me another onslought of Fall Fever!!!! I cant wait for FALL!!!!! Thank you Jesus for Fall...and for my great neighbor!!! I love you!!!

Hello all...today is Wednesday...I am super excited...we are having a Missionettes party tonight...and it is going to be too fun...we are doing a person scavenger hunt, having popcorn, and cake...and we'll all be together...then at the end we will take our new girls back to class and talk a little bit about what we do...anyway it will be great...you know I really dont have much to say today...at all...it has been a busy day...my boss and I got the laptop ready for me to take to Kentucky so I can work some there...not much...I'll only be doing my daily report...and hopefully that will not take long...and if it is not possible for me to do it there all I have to do is call and tell them and I wont have to do it...anyway I am excited about Kentucky...I cant wait...I so need to practice both of the Gorilla dances...I am so not a good dancer...Amber I need rythym...lol...it is hilarious...even my brother Daniel now dances better than I do...and he was so bad before...I dont know what happened but I need that to happen to me...lol...it will be sad going to Kentucky without Daniel this year...I will miss him so much...last year when we went...he and I had such a strong connection...like we were twins...we could draw strength from each other...that connection has been lost for now...and that makes me want to cry...but I have all confidence that we will have it back...I know that God put Daniel and I together for a reason...we are siblings...and we are both going into Children's Ministry...and I just know that God is going to bring back that bond between us...and one day our families will be close and support each other...it will be awesome...I can not wait...anyway...I had better go...got to run to post office...and maybe stop by for some lunch somewhere...I'm famished...sorry for the short post...lata!

God's Word

I am being touched so much by God's word lately...I love it...Jen and I are reading in Jeremiah and it has really been good...we are trying to read on a schedule so yesterday I read some in Proverbs...I read Proverbs 24 because it was the 24th...it was really good...made me think alot about myself and parts reminded me of what some around me are dealing with and learning...it was sooo cool...soooo alive and active...is God's Word cool like that...I mean think about it...it was written FOREVER ago...but we read it today and it just...it just fits...it fits perfectly...and you can read the same thing on a different day and it can speak something totally different to you...Hebrews 4:12 12"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."...it is living and active!...I love it...last night I read Haggai at the guiding of one of my friends...and it spoke so much to me about the mess I continually get myself into with my money...Haggai 1:5-6
"Take a good, hard look at your life.
Think it over.
6You have spent a lot of money,
but you haven't much to show for it.
You keep filling your plates,
but you never get filled up.
You keep drinking and drinking and drinking,
but you're always thirsty.
You put on layer after layer of clothes,
but you can't get warm.
I am not even taking care of my NEEDS at this point...how foolish am I...but then he encourages that once you see and seek to change and do the things He asks of you to do...
18""Now think ahead from this same date--this twenty-fourth day of the ninth month. Think ahead from when the Temple rebuilding was launched. 19Has anything in your fields--vine, fig tree, pomegranate, olive tree--failed to flourish? From now on you can count on a blessing.'" ...God will bless us when we do what He asks of us...that is so ecouraging to me...and I am ready to do better...Lord help me!!...and you know what He already has...I got two very unexpected blessings recently and I know it is God's way of honoring my obediance to Him...its sort of like my new blog friend Ashley said today summarizing something she read in a book I gotta read... ......"Why is it so easy for us to have faith in believe in someone that died 2,000 years ago...we are so sure of the fact that he is our salvation....our father...yet we find it so hard to believe that this same Father actually has delivered us from the power of sin and we dont have to struggle with things like we do.....forgiveness comes by the same grace that my delieverance does....i just have to believe and have faith that it is finished...Christ said it was when He died on the cross...IT IS FINISHED!!!!"...I mean really...why dont I have the faith I should...wow that was good...thank you Ashley for sharing that...you are awesome...even still God spoke to me through an article I read today about a woman who got herself in a mess hiking..."Another lesson I learned is that we can't continue down a wrong path and remain untouched by the consequences we create. Even as I continued to make bad decisions, I prayed, "Lord, show me the right way." But he already had! I knew what I should have done, I just didn't do it. When we make a conscious choice against God, we're seldom hit with lightning; usually we just get to hang out in our circumstance, which is more than most of us can bear."...whoa...I hope all this is making sense...it does in my head...I just hope I am writing it down so others can understand...bottom line...God is so good...all He asks of us is tho be obediant and follow Him...and if you think about that...all He wants to accomplish by asking us doing that is to take care of us...He's not a dictator just telling us what to do...He is our DADDY...we should be obediant because He is doing what is best for us...He knows...we do not...for example...say you have a child or are babysitting a child...they are headed toward a busy road chasing a ball...you run grab them...they dont understand all they wanted was their ball...why are you taking them from their ball???...but what they dont see is you see the bigger picture...you see the road and the danger...the child does not always...so it is with God and us...He sees the bigger picture we do not...whoa I could write forever...but I have so much work to do...it has truly been a busy week...but absolutely worth it...I hope this post made up for skipping yesterday...I was so zoned out...well I love you all...I love Jesus...until next time...Seeking Him!!!

God's Trademark!!

Jeremiah 8:9
...Look at them!
They know everything
but God's Word.
Do you call that
"knowing"?

I know nothing if I dont know God's Word...when I read this today it stuck out to me...I am extremely lacking in this area...but not only knowing God's Word but knowing Him...

Jeremiah 9:24
If you brag, brag of this and this only:
That you understand and know me.
I'm God and I act in loyal love.
I do what's right and fair
and delight in those who do the same things.
These are my trademarks.

I want to be God's trademark...how awesome to be a trademark of the King...that is my goal and what God is working me toward!!!

Had an awesome talk with Marcie last night...I learned so much from it...and I so enjoyed the time spent with her tremendously...I dont get that time as often as I used to...due to us both having busy schedules...so when I get the time I am very grateful...the above verse reminds me of Marcie...I definately think she is one of God's trademarks and I love her for it!!! I have a few people in my life that I would consider God's trademarks and I look up to them and learn from them!!!

The crusade is going great...tonight is our last night...makes me so sad...the highlight of last night was this:
Before service started I was talking to the kids and the boys were saying how the "monkeys" were scary and they didn't like them...and I was like...No way...dude those gorillas are so cool...I mean they are the coolest ever...they love kids and they really like to dance...can you guys dance...there were three boys standing there...and they were like yeah we like to dance...and they showed me how they can dance...then I was like...wow...you know what I bet the gorillas would love to dance with you guys, yall wanna dance with them...they were like yeah!!...it was so cute...so I got to do a gorilla last night so I went over and danced with them...it was so awesome!!!!

Well I cant wait to get back to the church tonight...guess I'll go and get to invoicing some more and maybe the afternoon will just fly by!!!

Until next time...Seeking Him...desiring to be His trademark!!!

Hey guys...thanks for putting up with my gloomy post...this one is better...the weekend was good...Friday night went to the book store and hung out while waiting on the family to go to the movies...we went to see Dukes of Hazzard for Daniel's birthday...what a disgusting movie...there were more gd's that I could count in the first 10 mins alone...and Jessica Simpson was just plain slutty...she did nothing through out the whole movie but loudly use her body which was barely covered to get men to do what she wanted...oh that sends a great message to our young ladies...there was drinking, sex, and cursing through out the whole thing...I would not see it again...then Saturday we had our small women's group meeting and swam and chatted and ate all day...it was wonderful...and much needed...Sunday Children's Church was great and then we packed up to head to Clanton to do a Kids Crusade...it was awesome...though I was scatterbrained and forgot that I was supposed to do certain things...lol...but it really was awesome and Daniel did a character and he did so good...I was very proud...it was a great night...I think there were kids there that asked Jesus into their heart for the first time...and you cant top that...but I did also get to sing and worship twice in the same day...how incredible it was...and I get to tonight and tomorrow night...I love it so much...I love it love it love it...I guess it's that I am actually using my gift to draw others into worship...at least I hope I draw them and not interrupt them...lol...but I just feel so much joy and so complete when I sing...anyway I can not wait to get back there tonight...today has been okay...though crusades make it hard to come to a secular job and work...I want to be ministry focused all day every day...ONE day that will happen...I have no doubt...I am enjoying what I have now while I have it...well anyway I had better get back to work...not much more to say...Thank you Father for the opportunity to show/tell kids how much you love them...for the opportunity to lead them into worship as I worship you...for your amazing love and presence...may you join us again tonight and fill that place with your Spirit...change hearts and lives tonight....annoint the service and have your way in it...I pray all distractions would be gone tonight...I pray that the kids would be focused on what you want to do in their hearts and lives...I pray they would be open to you and sensitive to your voice...help our ministry team to work together and be unified and kind to one another...may we be nothing more than willing vessels for you to use tonight...thank you again for this incredible opportunity...I love you with all my heart and I want the children to know your love for them...In Jesus name I pray...Amen!

Gloomy

Kind of a rough day for me...dealing with some hard things...I am exhausted...emotional too...though I have not cried at all today...still emotional...dont know if that makes sense...it does to me...I am slow...quiet...I dont have alot of words in my responses to people...I dont want to run...I am being bullheaded both with God and the enemy...I am easily irritated...but not irritable...some here at work are really bothering me...the ones that usually would not...I have a sinking feeling in my stomach...like right before the roller coaster starts to move...its a meloncholy day I think...though my Choleric is never far away...

Ecclesiastes 3:3-7

...a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,

my God is good...He is loving, kind, and faithful...He gives strength, peace and hope...He is and gives LOVE...until next time...Seeking Him...struggling through!

I'll run with the horses!

You know working on yourself is hard and ugly...there are big things ahead of me that I see I need to work on...and they are ugly...there are things I dont see too...it is hard...so hard...and the Meloncholy in me wants to turn it inward and feel bad for myself...the God in me wants me to simply take it and fight against is and change it and grow...easier said than done that is for sure...and you can bet the ole devil is right there attacking...like he wants me to change these things he has spent years perfecting...I am reading out of several very good books...they both came from our sunday school class...one is the Spirit Controled Temperment...it was the last book we went through in class and I never actually read it all they way through anyway I have been reading parts of it and it has been really encouraging to me...I know I have many weaknesses in my personality but God can give me strength in those areas...and the book is helping me to see that...the other book is Running with the Horses which we just stared last Sunday in Sunday school...Jen directed me back to it this morning and I reread some of the paper PT gave us...and wow...here is a quote from the book..."It is easier to relax in the embracing arms of The Average, Easier, but not better, Easier, but not more significant. Easier, but not fulfilling. I called you to a life of purpose far beyond what you think yourself capabale of living and promised you adequate strength to fulfil your destiny. Now at the first sign of difficulty you are ready to quit. If you are fatigued by this run of themill crowd of apathetic mediocrities, what will you do when the real race starts, the race iwth the swift and determined horses of excellence? What is it you really want "Tabbie", do you want to shuffle along with this crowd, or run with the horses?"...wow...I WANT TO RUN WITH THE HORSES...I think that is the conclusion that God has been bringing me to through out my Christian walk...the book is a study on Jeremiah...and based off the analogyand it goes on to say this..."It is unlikely, I think, that Jeremiah was spontaneous or quick in his reply to God's question. He weighed the options. He counted the cost. He tossed and turned in hesistation. The response when it came was not verbal but biographical. His life became his answer, "I'll run with the horses".' I think I was quite a bit quicker to respond...but that was all God...God has set me on a path of healing, growth, that is much quicker than I ever thought...but there is a reason...no...there is a Promise...and He is working me toward that Promise as fast as I'll let Him...(I'm stubborn but when I do get determined I go for it)..."I called you to live at your best, to pursue righteousness, to sustain a drive toward excellence."...more from the book God to Jeremiah I believe...Isnt that what God has called all His children to?...A DRIVE TOWARD EXCELLENCE...PURSUIT OF RIGHTEOUSNESS...hard doesnt even begin to describe the journey...but I can sum it all up in two words...WORTH IT...more worth it than anything in life you will ever do...more worth it because everything and everyone around you benefits from that journey...your life changes, your goals change, your heart changes, or at least it should...we are not born with the right stuff...it doesnt just happen...it takes work and lots of it...it takes determination, it takes pain, suffering, and trials, it takes tears, PRAYER, and PRAISE...another thing that spoke to me was something my friend Jodi shared with me last night..."Praise confuses the enemy of our soul, praise while the enemy is bearing down"...Praising while we are being attacked...throws off our attacker...how awesome is that...hey why not try it ya know...I know I am going to...wow...I am ready to fight through this stuff I am facing...I know that all through out my life I will have battles...but I am ready to fight...Father I pray for Your strength...I pray that my eyes would be open to look at myself...I pray that you would walk with me...I know You will and You are...I want to continue on toward the goal of Running with the Horses...I want to continue on this journey...give me strentgh and patience when it is hard...encouragement when I am down...and direction when I am confused...I love you with all my heart...YOU ARE MY DESIRE...thank you for loving me and saving me and changing me...continue your work...In Jesus name I pray...Amen...well me Amigas...I must work...until next time...SEEKING HIM & FIGHTING THROUGH!!

Busiest Day EVER!

Aaahhh finally time for my release...I am so thankful...it is 5 and I should be leaving for church but I wanted to post before I left...I have had the busiest most stressful day ever...was yelled at twice first thing this morning...and the bottom fell out for the first hour of work...people yelling and screaming and flailing all about...well mainly only one...she is most definately choleric...my former boss...naming no names here...she has been out of control all day...but the worst and only part I was involved in was this morning...I was glad it was over...I didnt have time to be dealing with it...tomorrow is looking to be just as busy and stressful as today minus the yelling I hope...but God has given me little gifts through out the day...the guys finished shipping before 4...I had correct change in my ashtray...I found the pinks easy...and Deana picked up lunch for us today...see little blessings that I am thankful for...phew...I am still going full force...it is hard to slow my mind, body, and heart down after a frantic day like today...but God is good...tonight is church and we are going to just hang out with the girls since we only have 3 more classes with them counting tonight...aahhh...I think two of our girls are moving up...but we will gain some too...it will be hard to see the girls leave though...I love them...but I still see them in Children's Church...but it just seems that they begin pulling away once they leave Stars class...anyway tonight we are just playing games...it will be fun...I'm bringing Care Bear Uno, Guess Who, Life, and Bop It...I love Bop It...I played it the other night before I went to sleep and beat it...yes you can beat it...you just play the single player one and keep going until it stops...and I have done it like 4 times now...I am so going to have to get the Bop-it extreme...oohhh...better go put that on my Christmas list...brb...ok done...ha...yes I have started my Christmas list because when my moms ask me what I want I have usually already forgotten the things I thought about so I am making a list already so I dont forget...well God has so cool and has been answering my mini prayers...its neat like I ask that He would help me to hear my alarm when it goes off the first time instead of hearing it the 5th time...and He has...I asked for some other little things that He answered too...I am thankful...it is neat...I love it...last night prayer was so awesome...I love to just get in and pray pray pray...I always end up flat on my face just crying out in the Spirit...it is incredible...I love it...and I love when we all come together at the end in the circle to agree and pray together...we do that right before services at Kids Crusades too and I love it...oh oh oh speaking of Kids Crusades we have one next week...oh man I am Super Psyched...I cant wait...I love them so much...this one is in Clanton and I can drive there right after work...so that makes it perfect...and with the guys getting done with shipping earlier it is great...well I really need to run so I can go home change and round up all the games and head to the church and hang out with the Bible Quizzers cause tonight is the first night of Bible Quiz practice...and there may be some food left if I get there in time...wahoo...I love Bible Quiz...I can not wait for our first match...oh and Daniel's first football game of the season is this Friday night and then we are going to go see Duke's of Hazard for his birthday...I hope it is good...oh and Saturday I get to go swimming and I am super excited...I hope it doesnt rain...ok ok ok...I really gotta go...after church I'm going to Carrie and Boo's to watch Brat Camp...if you havent watched that watch it...it is awesome to see teens lives begin to change and them begin to heal and over come things...well alright...until next time...SEEKING HIM!

It's a long one!

Wow what a day so far...been husselin since I got to work...but it has paid off...last night I went to my mom's and watched home videos...oh my gosh it was so funny...when I first bought my mom her video camera two Christmas' ago Becky and I did and intro on it...it was so stinking hilarious...we sang Felise Navidad and then changed it to Police Stole my Car...ha...oh my gosh I was so fat too...it was so funny to watch...and then we taped holidays with my family...and awwww we had such an AWESOME Thanksgiving last year...I cooked and everyone came to my apt to eat Mom, Glenn, William, Brandie, and Jacob...and we all had the best time...we ate and played with Jacob and it was just the best it had been in so long...I so am praying I can make a tradition out of that...Christmas was good too William played with Jacob's toys instead of opening his presents we all turn childlike when we get together...it is fun...so anyway that was fun to watch except it made me super sick to my stomach...like getting car sick...blah...so we had to turn it off because of that and because it was getting late...so there is more to watch...I cant wait...anyway then I went to Jen and Jason's and laughed so hard at and with Jen...Jen you are a mess I'll tell ya that...and I love ya...then I got home and was sooooo hungry cause I was finally feeling better from homemovie sickness(ha) and so I made the only think I could find...first I had scrambled eggs with Katchup then I was still hungry and so I had oatmeal...I so need to take some time and buy some groceries...but I am never home to use them so most of the time it is a waste to go buy them...lol...I need some good ideas to fix that...like some really yummy quick non parishables...and by the way Easy-Mac is so not a non parishable...I tried to make some of that before the oatmeal and how about the noodles so would not even come close to getting soft then I looked at the date on the box and it said November 2004...EEEEWWWW...I know...but hey I thought that Easy-Mac didnt spoil...WRONG...ah ha...bachelorettehood at it's grandest...lol...anyway that was the extent of my evening...as I was going to bed around midnight I prayed that I would hear the alarm and get up and I did...wahoo...Thank You Jesus...anyway so here I am at work as usual taking my miniscule break to blog...I love to blog...its a great release and a great way for your friends and family to know what goes on with you...now I know most of the time my blog isnt this light...but dont worry I am about to dive into the God stuff...God is really showing me right now several big things I need to work on...there are so many areas...so many things I need to change and give to Him...it is hard...real hard...but I am excited about it too...because I know that it is going to benefit my future and my children in such a positive way...they will not have to deal with or fight through the crud that I have had to...and that is awesome...there are some things right now that I am unclear about exactly what God wants me to do...but I am trying to just be still in those areas and listen...I dont know that I am doing a very good job of that at all...but I am trying at least...I am super excited about the book we are starting in Sunday school...I think it is going to be challenging and great...it is call Running with the Horses by Eugene someone...the guy who wrote the Message Bible...which by the way I have added to my Christmas list...but it is a study on the book of Jeremiah or based on that book...but anyway I am excited and I have started reading Jeremiah...which is how I came about putting that on my Christmas list...because I was struggling reading Jeremiah in NIV so I looked it up on biblegateway.com and started reading it from the Message translation...much easier but it used the word sex and whore alot...freaked me out a little but I kept reading anyway...so anyway God is just really weeding out some things in me...some major things and showing me that I have caused alot of the things I have been hurt by...see how selfish am I that I am just now seeing I have been some of the cause...way to go Tabbie...lol...but better late than never right...and I am just praying that God will continue to show me and keep me open to it...I am so so looking forward to prayer tonight...it is such an awesome time...and I just plan to get lost in it...to get out there the needs that I know God can meet...you know that NOTHING is too big for God...not one thing is EVER going to be more that HE can handle...that just excites me...I really need to grab hold of that knowledge and hold on to it forever...I need to trust Him so much more than I do...in so many areas of my life...but today I am just simple excited...excited about the battles I am fighting...excited that I know Jesus is my Victory -- Jehovah Nissi -- excited that I have been promised a family that is beyond my dreams and wishes...excited that God is in control of my life(that is as long as I let Him be)...excited that He loves me more than I can fathom...excited that He has given me a profound love for Him and all people that I have never experienced before...excited that He has given me friends and family to support me and walk me through the hard times...excited that He saved me from the pit of Hell 4 years ago...man what an INCREDIBLE, AWESOME, MIGHTY, STUPENDOUS(Carrie's word), HOLY, LOVING, FAITHFUL, WONDERFUL, WORTHY, God we have...and to think that I have only allowed Him to barely show me what He can do and what He has for me and how much He loves me...it stinks to be born of flesh...lol...anyway that is what God is doing in me...Sunday was so awesome in so many ways...the highlight was Sunday morning worship/prayer in Children's Church...when I am singing to God I feel like I can just reach out and touch Him and that He is just listening to me praise Him and worship Him...and when I am praying with the kids I am the most complete...I love Children's Church...I love everything about it...I love walking in the door and seeing the kids all there chatting and I love when they hug me and greet me...I love looking at the outline to see the order of things and what PT has planned...I love rabbit...I love when Marcie does object lessons the passion you see all over her when she talks to the kids...I love the gorilla's especially when we have short ones(that was for all us short gorillas out there-we're cool) I love PT's magic tricks and how he interacts with rabbit...they have such a chemistry...I love that he got me out of my box and made me start singing...I love it so much now...I love to see the kids dancing and worshiping and playing games...I love puppet songs...I love sword drills...I love Object lessons, I love our round tables...I just love it all so much...well this is one of those days where I could just write all day but I am sure by now this post is a novel so I'll go ahead and go...I need to get back to work...its Data Entry time...my time to shine...lol...okay just had to make a funny...I am going to give a shout out to Neesie...I love you...you are more precious to me than I am able to show...and a shout out to Dad(I'm not sure if he reads this though)...I love you and and so incredibly thankful to have you as my Dad...I miss you...okay and last but NEVER least a shout out to Jesus...my salvation, my future, my Best Friend, my All in All, You are everything I'll ever need and more...my life is complete because of You...I love You with all my heart...
Jeremiah1:11-12
11GOD's Message came to me: "What do you see, Jeremiah?"
I said, "A walking stick--that's all."
12And GOD said, "Good eyes! I'm sticking with you.
I'll make every word I give you come true."
God thank You for sticking with me all the way...alright I am leaving you guys what that cool verse...until next time...Seeking Him!!

Great Day!!

Today is a great day...I started out with prayer even before getting out of bed...mind you I was praying that God would lay out the clothes I was going to wear to work for me...ha...anyway but I prayed in the car on the way to work and it was good...the whole weekend was just good...Denise and I started our scrapbook and it is looking great...we went to Tannehill...I found the perfect shirt to give to Daniel for his birthday and I think he really loves it...Sunday was awesome...Sunday school was so good...it was challenging and awesome...Children's Church was incredible...everything went great...Marcie did an awesome object lesson...worship was so wonderful...and praying with the kids was so great...it was just awesome...I think we had a fairly good turn out for Junior Bible Quiz...I am so excited about Bible Quiz I can't wait for it to start...I wish I could practice with the kids..but they practice while I am at work :(...but that is okay...and last night's service was great then we did Daniel's birthday after church...anyway it was a really good weekend and I loved it...and I feel great today...I am thankful...well for some reason I am not chatting here in my blog today...so that is a quick update on my weekend...all I can say is God is really working in me right now...there are some big things He is wanting to do and I want to do them...my ultimate goal is to be more like Him and be healed and changed so that I can raise healthy, secure, happy children...so I am working hard to do that with God and praying that my future husband is doing the same thing...I want us to be healed Godly partners and parents...I am willing to wait for that...I am thankful...it's all about God...His timing and will is perfect and I trust Him...until next time...Seeking Him!

Quiet Day

I really have nothing to say on here today...weird for me...but it is one of my quiet days...so I just wanted to give a shout out to Jen cause she gave one to me on her blog a day or so ago...Jen I love you...you are awesome...you are an answer to prayer for me...thank you for being you...I love you bunches...kiss and hug all the kids for me...I'll see you Sunday...enjoy your weekend with the whole bed to yourself...you got the whole bed to yourself...you got the whole be to youself...ha...to everyone else I'll write again on Monday maybe I'll have something to say...lol...Seeking Him!!

Back on top!

Wow what a roller coaster of a week...but its okay...I really feel like this week has just been growth for me...there are areas I really am working hard on...and the fact that I was attacked so badly yesterday just means I am doing something right huh...though I do not like how choleric I was yesterday...sort of a throw care out the window say whatever kind of mode...and that is dangerous for me...but last night at church was so fun and after church was just what I needed with Neesie...we had a great time...it is good to be back on top today though...I feel strong and ready to continue on...I have a craving for God and His will and His word...and I love that...I love to be hungry for Him...well something yesterday got me to thinking about being single...and I really do like it...though I cant wiat to meet my husband and start a family one day...how cool is it that I am pretty much free to do as I like...I really do like that freedom...and I think I use it for God's kingdom pretty wisely...I was aslo thinking yesterday about being real...I used to not be real...but I am all about being real lately and others being real with me...when it happens I am really glad...my thoughts are all over the place...sorry...I cant wait for Bible Quiz to start...I miss it terribly...you know I am just so happy when I am serving God...I am the most complete when God is using me to touch someone's life...which He has allowed this week a couple times...I am just so complete when that happens...and I am most happy when I am doing ministry...whatever it may be...Children's Church, Bible Quiz, Drama(about to get started again), Stars(it has been different this year than any other but I am looking forward to a new year and what it will bring- so so not looking forward to Rachel moving up though-but cant wait to see who new is coming in), praying with people, encouraging people, loving people, ministry is definately my purpose...isnt it everyone's?...maybe not the exact same way...but I would be willing to bet that most people would be most happy when they are making someone else happy by loving them, helping them, listening to them, caring for them, encouraging them, it is what we are here for...God said the greatest of these is love...its all about Him loving us, us loving Him, and through that us loving each other and others...why do we struggle with this so much...I know I do...alot...wow did that just put some things into perspective for me...I have been ugly in my thoughts toward some...ouch...I just got repremanded...that's okay...I am in the wrong...I need to forgive and move on...that is hard for me sometimes...I so just want to just continue to get better...I want to think of others before I think of myself...I want to stop living based on my feelings...I want to love people with God's love...I want to stop being on again off again...I want to always be honest...I want to always include people-all people-no matter how they have treated me...I want to just continue to grow...I want to grow closer to God...I want to spend more time with people I miss...I want to learn to balance my time better...I want to stop having lazy spells...I want to stay organized and Monkish...well to an extent...though I feel so much better when I stay on top of things...I want to exercise and do it on a regular basis and stop letting things throw me off track and it takes me weeks to get back to it...I want to spend my money more wisely...I want to be more consistent...I want to just be better...though I am thankful that I am at least where I am at...I am thankful I am not what I used to be...I am thankful that I love more than I used too...I am thankful that I am more consistent than I used to be...well okay I think today I could write forever...and its okay cause this is who I am and I am thankful for who I am...I love to write...I love to get my feelings and thoughts out on paper on typed out however...it makes me feel better and I have nothing to hide...I am just real...I am just me...I am not ashamed...guilt and shame are lies from satan...tomorrow my boss and I are going to eat ribs...I cant wait...there is this wonderful little shack right down the road that makes the best bar b que I have ever had...but we havent tried their ribs yet...tomorrow we will...I bet they will be great...this weekend we are celebrating my brother's birthday...I cant wait...I love that we celebrate birthdays as a family...I cant wait to go get him a gift...I love buying things for people...I love giving gifts...I love helping people...I love serving people...I love helping people...I love my church...I love my families...I love my friends...I love my neighbor-she takes care of my rose plant and is too sweet...I love my car-it has been a good car and I am sad that I will be trading it in within the next year or so to get something else-I want to keep it but cant afford two cars(ins, gas, tags, maint...etc)...it is a cute little car...nothing fancy...just cute and me...and it gets me to where I need...I am looking at getting a minivan or an SUV with minivan seating capabilities...my brother freaks out everytime I mention getting a minivan because I am not married...but it has nothing to do with that...I need it cause I work with the Children's Ministry and it would be so helpful to haul kids to and fro...and if some guy doesnt want to date or marry me because I have a minivan then he needs to go on about his business anyway...its a car...not important...a minivan does not have to come standard with middle age and kids either...it is practical and I have always bought practical cars...like buying my Malie over my dream car-a 68 camaro...but I am thankful I did...that is not a practical car...my Malie is a great car...Malie is short for Malibu...that's how I name my cars...well this has been a really long post and like I said earlier I could probably write forever...but I guess I will stop and move on about my day...until next time...Seeking Him!!!

Better!

Just wanted to update and say I am feeling much better...much stronger...just needed a good vent to let it all out...God is good...all the time...all the time...God is good...I will not be giving up or running...God is my Rock...My Strength...My Victory...man what a roller coaster of a day...well the whole week really...but that is okay...anyway this is a quick update...until next time...fighting through and seeking Him!!

Failure!

Ok fair warning...this is going to be real...if you dont want to read real...then dont!

You ever have one of those days when you just feel like a failure...ok so that is my day today...it's not like I dont know it is an attack from satan...I do know that...its like I see the things I have been working so hard on and I have failed at them again...even the part where I not supposed to beat myself up about but just recognize those things I failed at and deal with it and move on...well here is me failing at not beating myself up for failing...so today I feel like a great big failure...and I want to run like hell from it all...but I know I'd be running straight to hell...I told you this was going to be real...I am not hiding or sugarcoating anything...I am in a choleric mode right now...and no I'm not sorry for it...what is the point of hiding stuff anyway...does it really make it better no...I am who I am...I am human...I make mistakes...I want to run from the hard...and sometimes I do run from it...though up until today I thought I did a pretty good job of not running...but I am rethinking that whole thing too...I know that I wont run for long...because my heart is to seek God and His will and to be who He made me to be...what I am right now is NOT what He made me to be...I am definately walking in my flesh right now...I have made it past the break down point and moved right into shear anger...I am in fact so angry right now I could destroy something...I am fighting though...I do NOT want satan to win this battle...and ultimately he wont...because I am sold out to Jesus and He is my Victory...I am just having a bit of a hard time standing on that knowledge right now...I am ticked off, dog tired, and ready to attack...this is exactly what I do NOT want to be...I am tired of hurting those around me with my controling, ugly, self...and I am trying to change but seem to be spinning my wheels...God I need you to show me...I need to see where I have gained ground...cause right now I cant see that...I need You to knock this out of me...I am choleric so you know the hit has to be hard and right in the face...okay so this is so not a positive post so I am going to go but I needed to vent...and so I did...this is just me in a real, weak moment...yes I am all about being real right now...well I'm done...a true testament to my ugly side right here...pray for me if you read this...I need God to pull me up out of my own junk! Until next time...FIGHTING THROUGH!!!!!!

Better Day!

Aaaahhh...today was a much better day than yesterday...I am thankful...I went home yesterday and went straight to bed and slept from 6:15pm to 6:45am...how awesome is that...I sooo needed it after the wild weekend we had...but what an awesome weekend it was...I loved it so much...it makes me want to be in full time ministry now...but I know I just need to be patient and content where I am...but I will tell you at times it gets hard for me...I am content but I am anxious for the promises God had made me...but I know His timing is better than mine...and it is not like He doesn't use me all the time...man let me just tell you there is NOTHING better than being used by God to touch someone else's life...I love when I can encourage someone and lift their spirits and help them...it makes me complete...God has used me a couple times this week like that and I love it...I love love love touching others lives and sharing His love with them...I love it more than I love anything except Jesus...well anyway I get to go help the Jones' tonight and I am excited...cause first of all I miss them all so much...I miss spending time with them so much...and I soooooo just love to help...I just really do love to help...so I can not wait...I wanted to help so bad last night but I was not even functional at all...but that is okay...I am tonight...God has been so good to me lately...Sunday after church I was really bummed out...and Sunday night God just loved on me and I just cried...I just needed to cry...it was sort of cool...it was like I just cried on His shoulder...He is an awesome Father...and awesome God and I will never serve another...I have no idea how I lived without Him...through what I lived through...anyway He is just awesome...and always provides what I need when I need it...I still have a long way to go and things I know need to change...but I am ready...I want to change and that is the first step...I am ready to be more like Him...well I actually finished my invoices early this afternoon...so I guess I am going to go because I have wonderful things to do this evening...until next time...Seeking Him with ALL my heart!!!!!

Recovering

I am recovering from an awesome exhausting weekend...Slack Attack was awesome...we played so hard Friday night...we had huge inflatables and video games...it was so much fun...then we swam most of the day Saturday...phew...I am just now catching my breath...but the super sad thing is that I had no batteries for my camera...I could have gotten some great pictures too...I am going to have to prepare better...last week was such a blur though...but you know I love my life...I love God...I love ministry...I love kids...I love people...I am thankful for where God has me...well this is going to be short because I am so tired and not very talkative today...so I'm going to go...I'll write more later. Here are a few pics Danielle sent to me...fun fun! Danielle and meJulie and meMe, Carina, and AmberBrandon, Kara, Jennifer, Courtney, and me

Me and Danielle ha ha Good times!

Short and not sweet

Whoa am I cranky today...I woke up so tired...I went to bed at 10:00 which is normal for me and I slept fine...so I have no idea why I am tired and cranky...but I will be alright...I am sooooooo looking forward to tonight...I went to WalMart at lunch and got an air matress so I wouldnt have to sleep on that hard floor...wahoo...anyway I am praying the rest of this day flies by...I know I am slammed and being pulled in way too many directions...but it's all good...I love my Jesus and He loves me...what more could I ask for...well guess I had better go and get back to work...oh and God spoke to me last night and comforted me about BGMC service on Sunday and I feel better and am actually getting excited about it...Thank you Jesus...on and today is my brother Daniel's birthday...I am so glad he was born 17 years ago...I love him...Happy Birthday to you Daniel...well I am off for a wild weekend with my kids...until next time...Seeking Him!!

Desiring HIs Presence!

Good Day to everyone!!! I feel very good today...God is just showing me places He has grown me and ways I have changed and places He wants to change and ways He wants me to change...and I feel strong and ready...I feel good...I am determined today and that is one of my favorite things to be as long as it is determined for God...this weekend is Slack Attack for the Kids and Youth at our church I am super excited...I am praying that God will move in a mighty way...I can not wait to see what He is going to do...I can not wait to spend time with Marcie and the kids and the youth...we are going to have a great time...we are having video games, DDR, inflatables and amazing transforming services...I cant wait...I have missed the kids so much...I have missed Children's Church...I feel so not at home when I miss them...I am doing BGMC service this Sunday...I am nervous...the services are challenging to plan to pull off for me...it definately makes me appreciate what PT does every week and makes me appreciate and confirms in me my calling to walk along side my future husband in ministry...so if you are reading this pray that services go well tomorrow night and Sunday morning...we are talking about Thailand Sunday morning and I am excited because we have missionaries in Thailand that we know and they have an Xanga site and that is going to be helpful and cool to use Sunday morning...ok a little late but just covered my day in prayer...whew...I so need to do that before my day actually gets started...but better late than never...today is one of those days that I just want to be in His presence...I just want to love on Him and let Him love on me...I just want to worship and praise and sink into the Spirit...and I am going to as much as possible today while working...oh speaking of working I had better get busy I am behind today as it is...but I love my Jesus and I am thankful that He gives me good days in and amongst the "growth" days (growth days is what I am calling bad days)...oh and Carrie gave me gaucho pants so I wore them today, because I wouldn't usually wear something this trendy and wild but she gave them to me so I am wearing them and they are comfortable...I am getting used to them...I may actually really like them...I know I like that they are sooooo comfortable...so comfortalbe...so thank you Carrie for getting me out of my box fashion-wise...you are my fashion guru...well until next time...Seeking Him!

New Creation!

2 Corinthians 5:17 17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Yes indeed! The new is coming!!
Wow God is good...I know I am almost a completely different person than I used to be...God has changed me so much...I could list so many things...there is still much to be changed...but I now look forward to the changing...because I know it draws me closer...I am so much more comfortable in my own skin now...I know that hard times bring learning and growth so I do not have the same attitude about trials anymore...I have a confidence I never had before...I am able to flow in different types of crowds now...it truly is amazing how God has changed me and my life...I am so refreshed by it...I know that those who knew me before God can see the difference in me just by looking at me...I dress different, carry myself different, what they see in my eyes is different, the way I talk is different, the way I act and respond is different...it is awesome...and exciting because I hope that 2 years from now I will be more different from today even...because I am changing frequently...like I noticed something last night that was different in me a way I responded to something and a couple weeks ago I responded differently...it was cool...it was God...it is ALL God...I know that without Him I would not be new or changed or anywhere close to what and who I am now...and without the people He placed in my life I would not be the same either...I am thankful...so thankful...God is good to me and He has given me great family and friends to share my journey with...He has provided everything I ever needed to change and grow and LIVE...finally live...how awesome is He...SO AWESOME...I could go on and on but I could never list all the wonderful things God has done for me...so I'll stop now and get back to working...this week has been good Monday and Tuesday was the Annual Sales meeting and it was so quiet and peaceful here...last night we had a dinner party at the country club and it was nice...I realized among other things that I really like dressing up and having a nice fancy dinner...look out future husband...ha...anyway good week so far...ready for class tonight...cant wait to see my girls and everyone...maybe I'll get quiet time in the sanctuary tonight too...I love that...until next time...seeking Him!

Hey Hey Hey!!
Today has started out being a good day...even with the lack of sleep I got last night...I was so tired but couldn't sleep...so I read and wrote...you know there are things that I have wanted to do and havent...like write and photography...I wonder what it would take for me to do those things...I wonder how I can get there...I am going to definately pray about that...and if it is God's will then something will happen...last nights women's meeting was so great...Lynn demonstrated hand tinting photos and showed us around her dark room...it was sweet the way Denise made sure I could see and would put me in front...I was really quiet about my desire to do photography...I guess because I didnt think anyone would really take me seriously...anway it was very cool to see and participate in hand tinting a photo...I love to color so it was so fun...I really think I could love it...praying about it...anyway...God is moving in me...I am ready to be changed for the better...I am going after it full speed ahead...pray for me...last night on the way home Jen and I were chatting and I was thinking how I cant wait to experience the things God has promised me...it will be so exciting and challenging...it will be awesome to see His plan come into play...can't wait...well I guess I do not have alot to say today...so I am going to go ahead and go cause I really can not think of much else to say...until next time...Seeking Him!

Selfish, Selfish, Selfish

Intriguing title huh...well God has been speaking to me about my selfishness...I have today committed to the journey to SELFLESSNESS...not it wont be easy...but I want it so badly...there are so many negative things that stem from selfishness...things that affect those around me greatly...I am tired of being selfish...I am tired of hurting those around me by being selfish...it causes me to be ugly, ungrateful, inconsiderate, annoying, bossy, to name a few...all in all it is just an ugly thing to be...Bro David spoke on Gratitude yesterday...and I knew immediately I had been ungrateful to God and several others in my life...I knew immediately it stems from my selfishness...I have actually known for a while that I am selfish and wanted to work on it...but not quite the way I know and want to work on it now...I know that God can change this in me...I know that He has changed so much of the ugly in me...and I am looking forward to arriving at my goal...but I have no thoughts of it being easy...but I know it will be worth it...especially to all those around me...so if you read this please be praying for me...you know God has been good to me...selfishness aside...He has provided me with family, friends, church, a home, a car, a job...and even when I mess up royally He takes care of me anyway...even when I am unfaithful and not obediant...there He is loving me, ever faithful to me...you know we just could not ask for a better Father than that...I only seek to be more like Him...and I aim to seek Him with all that is in me and get closer to arriving there...closer to Him...pray for me please...well...on a different note...as the days have gone by I have come more and more to realize how wonderful my vacation truly was...mind you it was not what I thought it would be...and that is mostly my fault...but it was wonderful nevertheless...I always set things up in my mind as to what I want them to be...and when they do not turn out exactly like I planned in my head I get disappointed...but that is not to say they arent still wonderful...I am just now realizing this...could be the Meloncholy in me...who knows...anyway I am so thankful for such an amazing and wonderful vacation...there are things I wish I could go back and change(mainly my attitude through out the trip and my actions)...but I can learn from that and move on...I have already been forgiven for the most part...but I just want to thank God for the vacation, Dad, and Neesie...without them there would have been no vacation like that...so Thank you guys...I truly had a wonderful time...forgive my shortcomings, I know they were loud and many...I just ask you to forgive me...I have so many more pictures maybe I can post some more later...hope you enjoyed what did get posted...well today has been a glorious day at work...everyone is in a meeting at the retail store so it has been super quiet here and I have loved it...I have gotten almost all my work done...and tonight I am going to the Women's Meeting and I am super excited...Miss Lynn is going to show us how to hand tint photographs...I have always wanted to do photography...I love taking pictures...so my mind has drifted toward taking a class or two...we shall see though...well I had better run get some lunch and get back and check on the guys in the warehouse...until next time...orivrar...heha...Seeking Him!