Yes HE does

None will ever be able to convince me that God does not care about the details of our life. He does. He has worked out EVERY little detail of this trip to Thailand, and ladies I mean EVERY little detail(ahem). The last little thing I was concerned about will be done and over with by the middle of next week.

God cares about EVERY little detail and He wants to take care of those details. He is a personal God who knows every hair on our head. He wants to be a part of EVERYTHING in our lives. So if you have something that you thing is too small or insignificant to bring before the Lord, hesitate NO LONGER, be assured that God cares about even that and bring it before Him in Faith that He wants to take care of it and CAN and WILL take care of it.

God is so good and He is working and moving. Allow Him to move in your life and you will be amazed at all He does.

Happy Thursday!!

Taste and see...

Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

All it takes is one taste...because the Lord IS good.

I am still in awe!!

God is not finished, not even close!!

I simply want to be obediant!

Overwhelmed...

I think I am simply overwhelmed at all God has done. I feel a bit out of body today. I most assuredly in AWE of God and how He works and how He has used me. I am excited but mostly right now just overwhelmed at the events that have taken place. I long for time in His presence alone just me and HIM to talk things out. I long for time in His Word to gain knowledge. Sigh. God is so good guys. He truly is amazing.
In case you are wondering what events I mean:
My friend got saved last night at church
I am going to Thailand

Nuff said. Love you guys. Keep praying. God is moving and wants to move more and do big and incredible things in your lives as well!! TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY. THANK YOU JESUS!!

The RAIN came.

How do you build a boat on dry land when you've never seen rain - By Faith
How do you get on a plane without a ticket - By Faith

When God asks you to stand in Faith...STAND.

I AM GOING TO THAILAND!

I have a plane ticket to Thailand
God said - You are going to Thailand
And God provided the ticket

I think I am still in AWE of how God has worked
But I wanted to let my readers know...
The rain came, and my boat was ready
I stood in Faith that God was going to work out my way to Thailand and HE did

God opened the door two weeks ago and EVERYTHING has fallen exactly in it's place
I have my tickets and my passport will be in my mailbox tomorrow
Two Weeks! God worked everything out in TWO WEEKS!

My Heavenly Father said:
I AM, I CAN, & I WILL
He IS, HE COULD, & HE DID
Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful."
He said I am sending you to Thailand in May

Hebrews 11:1 "Now FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

Isaiah 40:31 "But they who WAIT upong the Lord shall renew thier strength..."
*The word WAIT in Hebrew is 'qavah' and means "to bind together by twisting". While we WAIT on the Lord we are not just waiting on Him to do something, we are actually being intertwined, twisted with Him. We are being strengthened. Now read those verses again.*

My Faith has been increased! Thank you Father. Thank you!

A new respect for Noah.

Standing in faith.
Feeling like Noah.
How do you buid a boat on dry land when you've never seen rain.
How do you get on a plane without a ticket.
God is bigger.
If He says He will do it, He will do it.
Even if all the worldly signs are pointing in the other direction.
I will stand.

Father increase my faith, give me strength to stand no matter what others are saying or what the signs are poiting to.

I trust You Father.

In Jesus name. Amen.

Random Things

I really enjoy jotting down just random things about me and whatever random thing floats through my mind - so this will be one of those fun random list blogs - enjoy!

one of my very favorite things to do is give blood

i give blood every 8 weeks - unless i visit a malaria infected country

i'm going to thailand the first of may

i love black and white pictures

my face looks so much better when i am tan

i wear less make up in the summer

god has increased my faith greatly

i am looking forward to tonights episode of american idol - its idol gives back

i love to watch movies or tv shows that make me cry

i wont cry in front of just anybody

i love to worship

i love to do object lessons that teach kids about god

i can no longer say i have never been pied

my passport is completed and in the mail to me - thats so exciting

i love to see pictures of myself in happy moments - its a good reminder of how good God is and that i now have a safe and happy life in Him

i love childrens church

i love all my kids at church - i love spending time hanging out with them - they truly just pull at my heart strings

i have the most amazing Neesie ever - she is my best friend, my god mom, my biggest fan, my biggest supporter - & she puts up with me and still loves me anyway - she is well - absolutely amazing

i am standing in a new place with God

i can not wait to get to church tonight

i love journals

i love to color

i love to watch tv or movies

i love to sing at the top of my lungs when i am by myself

i love to minister to others - i love it with all of my heart

i will love you even if you hurt me greatly - that doesnt mean i will like you

i love to be greeted

i love when the kids run up and hug me

i love kids crusades and the teams that god puts together & hanging out together

i love getting pedicures with my neesie and eating at panera bread

i love to go to the lake when things are calm and peaceful

i love when god talks to me

i want my future husband to be one who worships without reserve

i love that my mom prayed for me to get to go to thailand

i love to write

i love my tater - he makes my heart smile

well i could go on and on cause it so fun for me - but ill stop now - enjoy my randomness or not so randomness

A new place to stand.

God has given me a new place to stand.
It's called Faith.
I am not sure I can find the words to relay all God is doing.
I know He is up to something and I CANNOT wait to see what He does.
I am so excited at all He is doing in me. There are scary things and scary places but that just means I am outside my box. I am okay with that. God has been bringing me outside my box alot lately and I trust Him. I truly want HIS will.
Any door God opens that He decides to close, I am okay with that.
He is God. He knows what is best. He has me. He loves me. He will NOT fail me. He is that all-knowing One.
My hand is out of the pot. I am watching Him stir. And I am excited about all He is stirring up.

I am just telling you right now. Watch. Just watch and see what He does.

I love you my Heavenly Father. I trust You. I desire You. I seek Your will and Yours alone.
I can not wait to see what you are up to. Thank you for all you are doing. Thank you for all you are doing in me. Thank you for who you are in my life and for bringing me to a new level with you. I love you Father. In Jesus might name I pray. Amen.

Watch..................

IMMEASURABLY MORE!

I am not sure if I could truly convey all that God is doing and has done lately without writing a novel so I will try to do it in list form to see if that helps:

1. The Spirit of God fell in our Children's Church service Easter Sunday morning and it was incredible. God spoke to the kids and just blessed us all so much!!

2. God has surprised me and blessed me with a paid trip to Thailand - I had no idea what He was up to or that He was up to anything really - I just thought it wasnt the trip for me to go on - but really God just wanted to bless me in a special way s0 - I AM GOING TO THAILAND!!! ON MY GOODNESS!!!!

3. Youth Convention was amazing - the speaker and worship leaders were incredibly annointed - The Spirit of God fell @ every service - God spoke into our youths lives and my life and our leaders lives - INCREDIBLE INCREDIBLE INCREDIBLE!!! God used me to speak into lives and it was amazing!

4. Family Day service was awesome yesterday - God used me to speak into lives and encourage and uplift. He is working!!

HE IS WORKING!!! HE WANTS TO WORK!!! We've got to allow Him to do what He wants to do even when it makes us vulnerable and we are scared to trust. We've got to be obediant and willing. GOD CAN DO ABOVE AND BEYOND WHAT WE CAN IMAGINE - EPHESIANS 3:20 "...HIM WHO IS ABLE TO DO IMMEASURABLY MORE THAN ALL WE ASK OR IMAGINE, ACCORDING TO HIS POWER THAT IS AT WORK WITHIN US..."

5 weird or unknown facts about yourself...

5 Weird Facts...
List 5 Weird or Unknown Facts about yourself.

1) Sometimes I get really low to my desk when I am writing
2) I eat the marshmallows from my Lucky Charms first - by color to get it over with - because I like the cereal better
3) I love the smell of Windex
4) I practice writing with my left hand because I want to be Ambidextrous
5) I do not hear well - especially if there are many conversations going or a lot of background noise

That was fun!

Well it's official Zyrtec zones me out, makes me tired and sleepy but not to the point of actually falling asleep while I am doing something. I am actually getting more done at work, weirdly I can stay focused better. But I stare off when I'm not doing something. But I could go to sleep if I got still and let myself. And I am looking forward to going to sleep when I get home and get packed for Youth Convention. Yay Youth Convention. I wish I were already packed though. *Sigh*

Allergies

To Allergies I say:
Why me?!?!?!?
I never had allergies until three or four years ago with the exception of a freak two years where I was actually allergic to the sun. That was very crazy for sure!
But I now deal with allergies. I am however thankful that Zyrtec is not over the counter!!!
I rushed to buy Zyrtec this morning, as my face was melting off. To which I totally freaked out the guy at the CVS Pharmacy counter, as I, an extremely Red-Nosed desperate individual, demanded the strongest Zyrtec he could sell me. Lol. It was quite humorous, he look at me like I was crazy. Well I felt crazy and desperate, I was losing my face here. However, I believe it is finally kicking in, and I still have eye balls and a nose. Phew that was a close one.
Allergies or No allergies - I welcome Spring with open arms.
I am ready for:
Warmth and sunshine
Trips to the bleachers to sun bathe at lunch
Trips to the lake
Kids Camp
Kids Crusades
Flip Flops
Pedicures
No jackets
No chill in the bones
Sunshine
Warmth

:)
Lord Thank You for Spring and Thank You for Zyrtec!
:)
Oh and I'd like to give a shout-out to Rachel - who told me how to give my blog the facelift it greatly needed!! Thanks Rach! Kiss Nattie's cheeks for me!

Isaiah 26-3-4
People with their minds set on You, You keep completely whole, steady on their feet, because they keep at it and don't quit. Depend on God and keep at it because in the Lord God you have a sure thing.

This is what You spoke to me last night Father and I am holding tight. When I feel myself losing my grip I will remember Your words, help me remember your words.
I love you Father and my heart and my life belong to you.

Crying Out

My Father I adore you more than anything my heart could wish for
I just want you...

This is true - but Father there are desires that I know you have placed in my heart - I feel them so strongly - at times I even lose myself in them - when I should be losing myself in You instead. Honestly, it's very hard not to. I have been fighting for years now, and I ask not to have to fight this any longer. I am asking You to fulfill Your promises to me. I am tired and it's hard to be patient and stay patient. Know that I will wait for You and for You to tell me when to move, but I am asking You to not make me wait anymore. Let this fight be over. I know there will be more and there will be other places to wait and fight. But I am asking You to bring this one to an end. But Father, You know best, so not my will but Yours be done. And in the meantime, help me, let it be easier for me. Give me what I need to be okay here. Content, peaceful, & patient. I thank You Father for who you are. I love you so much more than I ever thought I could love. Thank you for that. Thank you for loving me and knowing better than I what is best for me. Thank you for being in control of it all and that You have a plan for my life and it is a good plan. A plan to prosper me and not to harm me to give me a hope and a future. And I want that hope and that future to be in YOUR WILL and not mine. In Jesus precious name. Amen.

Friday :)

It's Friday!!

Yay!!
Not only that it's GOOD FRIDAY!
I love the opportunity to be reminded of what an Incredible Lord we have.
Jesus Died for You
Jesus Died for Me
He suffered beyond what we can ever really imagine.
Imagine being hated to the point of death, being beaten, and then your Father having to turn His face from you, even for an instant. I imagine that to be the hardest part for Jesus. That moment when God had to look away because He can not accept sin. But Jesus said not my will but your will be done. Wow What a Lord, what a Savior.
So today we all have a relationship with our Loving Father becuase of that choice Jesus made.


THANK YOU JESUS, SINCERELY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. THANK YOU, MY PRECIOUS SAVIOR, FOR CHOOSING TO DIE FOR ME & FOR RAISING AGAIN TO BE MY LIVING LORD. LITERALLY MERE WORDS DO NOT BEGIN TO PRAISE YOU. BUT MY HEART PRAISES YOU, THE HEART YOU GAVE ME. I LIVE BECAUSE OF YOU, QUITE LITERALLY.



So today is Friday, the end of the week. A great week really. I am thankful for a great week. As busy season creeps up my goal is to keep Joy in the midst of stress. As stress will surely come, God can overcome in me though. And I am counting on that!



An exciting weekend ahead:
Saturday (tomorrow) a FULL day of ministry!! Woohoo!! I LOVE IT LOVE IT!
Puppet practice @ 9:00
Drama practice @ 11:00
Prayer @ 12:00
Workers meeting @ 12:30
Service starts @ 1:00
Clean up starts around 4:00
I am so excited!!
I can not wait to bless the kids of this community and the parents.
I am praying for both the parents, aunts, grandparents & the kids to really be touched, changed, & spoken to. I want them all to know God's Love & accept Him into their hearts and lives.



Sunday
Family Breakfast @ 8:00
Sunday School @ 9:30
Children's Church @ 10:30
Lunch & Movie
Family Dinner!!!!



I love my family all of them!



So far today has been great. Work load is managable, more than managable so that's nice. Lots of smiles and joy today. Connie(my boss) gave us all beautiful flowers:Aren't they beautiful!!! She is sweet & loves flowers & shares them with us often.

I prayed for my frind Jeannie to be healed, bless her heart she just coughs & coughs & coughs, the doctors havent been able to correct it yet. God put her on my heart this morning & I asked her if I could pray for her & she said yes. So after our morning meeting she came back to my corner & I covered her in prayer & I am believing for her complete healing & restoration! God is so good, she hasnt coughed hardly any since. In fact she has had to leave the customer service meeting several times & today she didnt cough once. God is good, SO GOOD!!! Thank you Jesus!

SO HAPPY FRIDAY TO YOU ALL!! HAVE A GREAT EASTER WEEKEND!!

Changes

So I was reading old posts today and it's so crazy how things change.
Some things made me very sad
Some made me very proud
I know I am different - in some ways good & in some ways bad
But I still love My Lord!

The loudest thing that stood out:
There are alot of relationships that are gone from my life now
How did that happen, why, was it me?

I think I might need to do some searching in that.
Some searching of me.

Food for thought I guess.

BLAH

BLAH

WHAT A BLAH DAY

IT IS ONE OF THOSE FEMALE DAYS IN EVERY WAY...WE REALLY ARE FICKLE CREATURES

* AUNT FLOW ARRIVED THIS MORNING

* I REACTED TO OLD STUFF I DIDNT REALIZE WAS OLD -TO WHICH I SAY - I REALIZE - & IM MOVING FORWARD

* ITS COLD AGAIN - IM DONE WITH THE COLD

* I STAYED UP TOO LATE LAST NIGHT - I KNEW BETTER - I REALLY DID

BLAH

WHAT A BLAH DAY

HOWEVER, GOD IS SO GOOD & HIS LOVE IS MORE AMAZING THAN THE WORD AMAZING CAN COVER - HE LOVES SO COMPLETELY & I AM THANKFUL - I AM BLESSED & LOVED & EVEN ON THIS BLAH DAY THERE IS GOOD

Some of my kids...

Sunday we had a blast at ALL day Drama practice with our fabulous KOR Drama Team...(except we were missing our little Zack)

We had lunch outside in the warm sunshine and then took pictures beneath the beautiful Bradford Pear tree before working hard on the Drama for this Saturday's Easter Egg Hunt...

This is our sweet Drama Team (minus Zack)

Drama Team Leaders (we love these kids)
Della & Lexie

Christopher

JoJo

Lexie

Abby (She looked down)

Miles

The three slackers (We didnt want to go in it was so pretty outside)

Come see my amazing kids do their Human Video on Saturday. It's going to be amazing I am so proud of them!!!

I love my kids!!

And so it FINALLY begins...

Busy season...

I love this time of year because the trips and action begins...

Tomorrow is our first trip to camp for this year with the kids...

It's JBQ Semi-Finals at Springville Camp - and its supposed to be warm!! I am so excited!!! We have not had JBQ in months so it's double exciting. Quizzing, games, service, food, and CAMP!!! And we get to stay in the lodges!! Woot woot, I love the lodges so much better than the cabins. Better bathroom, it's all about the bathroom and shower. It is going to be so much fun. I hope I get lots of great pictures to share with you guys too!! I so love this every year, I have a great time coaching and encouraging the kids, we always have the most incredible service on Friday nights, and then fun in the rooms before lights out!! Oh I love it!! I cant wait. And to top it off I get to sleep late tomorrow too!! Oh yea!!! Sleeping in before camp is always Wisdom!

Next up we have the Easter Egg hunt...
I can not wait I can not wait I can not wait!!! It is going to be so fun!!!

I have spring fever like crazy and I am so looking forward to heading home this afternoon and throwing open the shades and letting the sunlight into my little quaint apartment and getting busy washing and packing for camp. Oh my goodness I am so excited!!

Youth convention is also coming up - another short trip to camp!!!

I love love love love love love love love love love love this time of year and the opportunities to spend more personal time with the kids and youth. The ministry opportunities to touch other kids and youths lives. I have to tell you I know this is the very reason God created me. He created me to serve Him in ministry and I am so excited about that. I love it. I live for it. I love being Called to it!!

p.s. I know my last post was very strong, but I SO needed to feel that strongly about things.

WoW

Wow
So I have had one of the hardest weeks I have had in I cant even tell you how long...
Heart Break after Heart Break
And today I was standing in the back of Children's Church watching these kids that I love so much during worship - we were singing "Becasuse of who You are" and suddenly I re-understood - My praise to God has nothing to do with my situation whether it is good or bad at the time - I praise and worship God because He IS good in EVERY situation - good or bad.

We have so become a society of feelings - I dont feel like doing this or I dont feel that - I dont feel loved, I dont feel safe, I dont feel like I can trust, I dont feel like I should, feel feel feel feel feel - well let me tell you feelings lie and feelings are a major way that the enemy uses us in his destruction. It is not about what we feel it is about the Truth we know.

Truth comes from our loving Heavenly Father. In the words of Barlow Girl at Winter Jam '08 "I believe in love even when I do not feel it, I believe in the Sun even when it is not shinning, and I believe in God even when I cannot hear him."

It is not about us or what we feel it is about truth and doing what God tells us to do. He has written us a book to help us so there is no excuses any more. Not feelings, not lack of knowledge, our only excuse is ourselves.

We allow the lies in our lives to control us and keep us in the same place. We allow the feelings and events that take place to hold us back. Its a choice, we can either allow the lies and the feelings to hold us back or we can actually seek God with all of our hearts and actually devote time to Him and His Word and grow and change no matter how hard and we can actually choose to love and trust even when we have been absolutely CRUSHED over and over and over again.

What if Jesus had decided - nope I have been hurt to much and I cant trust any of these people, so nope I am not going to do what the Heavenly Father created me to do. Nope it hurts too bad and I dont know how and I dont understand why the things that have happened have happened so I am just done. Well wouldnt we all be up the creek. Where would we be? Well where are those going to be that God has planned for us to minister to and be a light to, where are they going to be when we decide it is too hard to change or too hard to trust or too hard to move past the hurt that has been caused to do what God has created us to do? Where are they going to be?

You know what its not about me. We no longer have a choice what we do with our lives. When we give our lives to Christ - who does it belong to? It does not belong to you anymore.

So honestly who cares that my heart was broken and I mean literally shattered multiple times this past week. Who cares how hard I cried or that NOONE saw me when I hurt or that NOONE but one could even help me carry my burden. Who cares that those I love the most hurt me the most. Who cares that the week and everything in it was a struggle and bad thing after bad thing happened that was beyond my control. Who cares that I was exhausted beyond words but still had to give because I have always been the strong one and people can not handle my weakness. Who cares. None of that matters one bit.

I will continue to love and continue to trust and continue to change and grow. I will not allow any of this to hold me back. Because I gave my life to Christ and He has called me to LOVE, to TRUST, to HOPE, to change, to heal and to grow and minister in spite of my self and my circumstance and the condition of my feelings or heart. Christ is not asking us to do anything that He himself has not already done.

It's time to stop making excuses. It's time to stop knowing what needs to be done but not doing it. It's time actually be in love with God instead of this world. Its time to stop allowing our insecurities and issues be our excuses and GROW UP in Christ. Like it cant be done. Come on now. Who are we kidding? NOONE but ourselves. It is time.

COMFORT IS NOT AN OPTION. Who cares if you feel like it or not - make time for Quiet time with the Lord - read His word He spent years writting, pray and ask Him for the things you need, and LISTEN, He has things to tell you. Who cares if it makes you uncomfortable or if you have to give up time on the internet, or with friends, or in front of the TV, or if you have to give up sleep. Who cares.

I will not allow any excuses. I will not allow this past week of hurt and pain to do anything but shove me toward God and change and grow and become more of who He created me to be. You know that everytime you go through something God can teach you something from it.
So how about looking at hardships as getting closer to God and actually looking for the learning in it. You know what life is deep, not shallow. Get out of the shallow. God wants to be in everything. You know what I would even venture to say if you feel super spiritual then you are more than likely on a better path than everything being shallow. God wants to be in everything and be your everything. So I dont care who thinks I am "super spiritual", I would rather be that than shut God out cause that is what the World is comfortable with.

I am not sorry if I said something in this blog that makes you uncomfortable or mad. You might just want to look at and closely examine what did make you uncomfortable or mad. It's probably something you need to work on.

Get up, Get going. ITS TIME TO STOP MAKING EXCUSES. BROKEN HEARTS, PAIN, BROKEN TRUST, FEELINGS - THESE ARE ONLY EXCUSES THAT YOUR ENEMY IS USING TO HOLD YOU BACK - ARE YOU GOING TO ALLOW THAT? ARE YOU GOING TO CONTINUE TO ALLOW THAT?

I AM NOT!

Yes I am exhausted
Yes I am tired of everything in my life being a battle
Yes I am hurt
Yes my heart has been broken

BUT I WILL ALLOW GOD TO GROW ME AND CHANGE ME AND I WILL NOT ALLOW THESE THING TO BE EXCUSES OR TOOLS THAT THEN ENEMY USES.

I cover this blog in Jesus name. Amen!

LACK OF SLEEP = NO GOOD IN MANY WAYS

I HAVE DECIDED THAT I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT DO WELL WITHOUT PROPER SLEEP
I DONT THINK AS CLEARLY:
IM A GRUMP
I COMPLAIN MORE
NOT TO MENTION IT PUTS ME RUNNING BEHIND IN THE MORNINGS WHICH MEANS
1 - IM RUSHED
2 - I DONT GET MY QUIET TIME IN
I NEED TO NOT BE RUSHED AND I DESPERATELY NEED MY MORNING QUIET TIMES - DESPERATELY

SO TODAY I AM VERY GRUMPY AND COMPLAINTIVE - IT'S NOT A PLEASING THING - I HATE BEING THIS WAY AND I SO DONT WANT TO AFFECT THOSE AROUND ME

I FEEL TODAY LIKE MUCH IS PRESSING DOWN ON ME AND BOY AM I MISSING MY QUIET TIME MORE THAN EVER
MY DAYS JUST ARE NOT THE SAME WITHOUT IT

I DIDNT GET QUIET TIME YESTERDAY OR TODAY IN THE MORNINGS - MIND YOU I WENT HOME YESTERDAY AND HAD SOME QUIET TIME - BUT IT SO WAS NOT THE SAME

BUT...AND THIS IS A GOOD BUT...

I LOVE THAT I LOVE MY MORNING QUIET TIMES AND THAT I MISS THEM SO MUCH WHEN I DONT GET THEM - I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO GET UP AND HAVE TIME IN THE MORNINGS TO DO THAT - AND NOW I LOVE IT SO MUCH I ACTUALLY MISS IT WHEN IT DOESNT HAPPEN - SO I AM TRULY THANKFUL FOR THAT - TRULY!

YOU KNOW THERE IS ALWAYS ALOT GOING ON IN LIFE - AND IT SEEMS WHEN LIFE GETS BUSIEST THAT'S WHEN WE GET WEAK - I BELIEVE FOR ME SIMPLY BECAUSE I DONT HAVE TIME TO SPEND IN GOD'S PRESENCE LISTENING AND LEARNING AND ALLOWING HIS PEACE - WELL I AM DETERMINED TO GET MY MORNING QUIET TIMES IN - AND THAT MEANS GETTING TO BED AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE - SADLY I JUST DO NOT HAVE THE STAMINA TO STAY UP LATE AND BE FUNCTIONAL THE NEXT DAY - SO KNOWING THAT ABOUT MYSELF IS GOOD SO I KNOW HOW TO MAKE SURE I GET MY QUIET TIMES IN!

OH AND A QUICK NOTE ABOUT INCORPORATING PICTURES INTO MY BLOG - I DO NOT YET HAVE A FAMILY TO TAKE PICTURES OF - SO UNLESS I WANT TO PUT IN SILLY PICTURES LIKE THE LAST BLOG IT WOULD JUST BE PICTURES OF ME AND TATER - WHICH HONESTLY WOULD NOT BE VERY INTERESTING - SO ILL POST PICTURES OF KIDS CRUSADES AND TRIPS AND SUCH WHEN I TAKE THOSE BUT AS FAR AS EVERY DAY PICTURES - NOTHING PICTURE WORTHY HAPPENS EVERYDAY - ILL INCORPORTATE A CUTE PIC OF TATER OR MYSELF IF ONE ARISES BUT I DONT LIKE MY LAST POST OF SILLY SURFACE PICTURES SO I DONT THINK I WILL DO IT THAT WAY

SO WITH THAT SAID I ACTUALLY DO HAVE A VERY CUTE PICTURE OF MY TATER KITTY TO SHARE... THIS WAS TAKEN ONE MORNING LAST WEEK DURING MORNING QUIET/STUDY TIME - HE JUST LOOKED SO SWEET AND HIS FACE LOOKED SO LITTLE LIKE WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER THAT I COULDNT HELP BUT SNATCH UP MY PHONE AND TAKE A QUICK PICTURE - HE'S SO ADORABLE - I JUST AM IN LOVE WITH HIS LITTLE FACE EVERYDAY - I CANT WAIT TO HAVE CHILDREN TO FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT - HEE HEE - BUT I AM THANKFUL FOR MY TATER KITTY - HE KEEPS ME COMPANY AND IS A VERY SWEET SWEET KITTY - HE'S VERY CUDDLING AND LOVING!

THAT'S IT FOR TODAY - HAPPY TUESDAY :)

Joyful & Honored

So I must say this week has been great! I have felt great physically- after a week of pain from my neck, back, and hips - I have been filled with Joy! Aaaahhh, I really have felt just wonderful. I am so excited about my commitment to spend my mornings with my Heavenly Father. It has made ALL the difference in me. I am thankful for it all!!


I have decided to try to incorporate pictures into my blog, it is always much more fun to see pictures in a blog. We'll see how this goes. I am enjoying this seasong of American Idol! In watching it last night I realized I could never have the courage to do what those talented contestants have done. Wow! I love to sing, but I desire only to sing for the Lord not for the world. And thank goodness too, I seriously do not think I could do it, I dont think I have that kind of talent first and second it would be hard to get up and sing and then take that kind of criticism in front of so many people. Wow! But I enjoy watching the show none the less and just love David Archuletta, that 17 year old cutie just blows me away. He is sweet and humble and was born to sing. He is my favorite thus far!
But alas my life does certainly contain more than American Idol...

My morning times have become my favorite times of the day. I love my new routine! Who would have thought it. Not me, I have never been very good at getting up in the mornings - especially not on time and most especially not early enough to have a routine of more than rushing like mad to get ready for work and be less than 15 mins late.

Today's routine:(today I added exercise into my routine)
Wake @ 5:45am
Walk on treadmill for 15 mins (trying this new walk-off-the-fat program I found on MSN)
Shower
Bible/Quiet time (Journal, Read, Pray, Listen) - 6:30-7:00
Get ready for work
Leave for work by 7:30am

Aaaahhh, I love it. I look forward to it.
Not to mention...I love my journal it's fabulous:
I have almost filled my second one...and will soon be purchasing my third...Love It!

My week has included some hiccups...car seems to need to go back to the shop, but my mechanic has the flu, my mom is struggling alot, upstairs TV died, Dad has the flu too, poor thing - I hope he feels better soon!! My mechanic too!! There has been drama at work but I have handled it well and just stayed focued on God.

And some exciting moments...Neesie starting her new job-I am so proud of her & I know this is her calling & I know she is going to change so many lives-I am really so proud of her! The upstairs TV was revived(who knew unplugging would work), got to visit mom and Jacob on a sunny extended lunch and bless her...my work load at work has been managable, and that is nice for a change, it will change again as busy season hits but for now I am enjoying it...It's only Wednesday morning and I am sure there are other exciting things in store.

I am excited about what God has in store tonight. I know He desires to rock our socks off again tonight like He did last week. Wow, talk about amazing. Last week youth was incredible. Kids were filled with the Holy Spirit, I got to pray with a young lady as God did some MAJOR healing and work in her, and then some of us tarried in the presence of the Lord, and God set a fire in the hearts of three amazing young ladies to pray for the youth group and interceed for them, they invited me to pray with them...and Sunday afternoon we spent some time together praying and battling for the youth group. Amazing. God is working. He is up to something big. And I am so honored to be a part of it. He is up to something in the youth and He is up to something in Children's Church. One Generation Boot camp has been amazing. The kids are reading their bibles and hiding God's Word in their hearts. Wow!! And God has been teaching us about our Weapons and how to use them and wow it is just amazing. Our kids are Amazing and wonderful and I am so very very honored to get to be a part of their lives and their journey. I love spending time with them every week and see the things God is doing in them. I am so honored to be called to such an incredible ministry! HONORED!

It's Friday!

Today I am thankful for:
The Holy Spirit
The Rain
My partially clean house

I came home last night and began cleaning...oh to have ample time to clean like I used to...I love to have a truly clean house...I have a long way to go to get it done...but I got a good start last night...and I am thankful.

Well it's Friday and the meetings begin...but at least its Friday and then I have two days without Summer Classics and it's ---ahheeemm---Challenges.

What did I expect...Jesus IS my life for the rest of my life!

Yep I get to be a blogger...
This is one website not blocked by my employer...
I am thankful...

Well this has been a tough week...but what did I expect really...let me explain...

I decided that finally I was going to get up early and have my devotion time in the moring...now this has been something I have wanted to do...but I am NOT a morning person at all...but I decided that didnt matter I wanted to get up and start my day with God...and I have been very faithful to that this week...and I fully believe that it ticked my enemy off...darts have been flying left and right...

I deciede to finally get my car in the shop because I did not feel safe driving kids in in with the craziness that was going on with the breaks and I got completely fed up with putting anti-freeze or water in it EVERY week...sheesh...so I took my sweet Mallie car to the car doctor...aka the best mechanic in the world Revis Auto - located in Wilsonville - yes that was a shameless plug - guys my mechanic is the best and if you do not have a mechanic you love and trust I HIGHLY recommend Mr. Ronnie Revis...he is great and know how to talk to a lady without acting like she is a dumb bimbo...so anyway back to the story...I got a phone call from Ronnie and it turns out it is going to cost over $1000.00 to get my Mallie back...OH MY GOODNESS...WOW...who has $1000.00 on any given day...well certainly not me...and I was desperately trying to get the car back by Saturday because it's Zone Fine Arts weekend and I was planning on being a driver for Boo and Carrie...well that's out...so wow...we have issues here right...
Well to make a really long story short because this is shaping up to be a book now...
A box fell on me Sunday causing a reoccurance of serious neck, back, and hip pain...
Car diagnosis - grim
When I gave blood I received this GREAT t-shirt(now normally they only give XXL white ugly shirts but this time its a really cool shirt)...well she accidentally gave me a small :( and when I went to exchange it today the bus was pulling away...small but equally sad...sigh
And a few more things that thankfully I can not remember right now...yay

Well as I started this blog I realized...I made a commitment to God and it ticked the enemy of my soul off...well I have news for him...I got up this morning though I was completely exhausted from all the emotional pull of anxiety...and I will get up in the morning...and so on and so on...

The enemy will not win...hang it up...I am sold out...I belong to God and no matter what is slung my way I will love the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, & with all my strength.

Jesus IS my life for the rest of my life!

Bumps in the road

Ggggrrr
Ggggrrr
Ggggrrr
I know that bumps in the road are designed to teach us and make us stronger...and wow that just reminded me of a scripture I used to cling too...hhhmmm...I need to re-visit that...Romans 5:3-5
3Not only so, but we[a] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
yes I very much believe I need to cling to this in my disappointment today...
I had a goal to not over draw my account this year...well I haven't even made it out of January and my accoutn is overdrawn...talk about being disappointed...I cried this morning...but yet I still decided to press onward and forward...no matter how disappointed I felt...I am learning and I am aware that I need effort in this area...I guess that is a start...I am holding to that...I HATE MONEY...by the way...HATE IT...however I have been faithful in my tithes thus far this year and that is THE most important thing...and I know I will be okay...that God will take care of me...and I belive that with all my heart...and I do believe that I WILL have victory over this area in my life becuase I am an overcomer and more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus...I am standing on my Word this year and I will not be moved...in the words of 33Miles and their song Stand Amazed:
I don’t really know how long forever is
But that’s how long I’m gonna give my life
Everything I face, it tries to tear me down
No I won’t back away from the sacrifice
I won’t forget what you’re love means to me
You’re always there to light my way
(Chorus)
When all the lights go down and the world is quiet
No one is around
I wanna be the same man that will serve you then
Like I serve you now
That my convictions never change
O let my need for you remain
As real as the moment I was saved
I will always stand amazed
Sometimes my heart desires such selfish things
When the moment comes help me to trust
Something better that you have for me
If I could just hold on to you enough
I won’t forget what you’re love means to me
You’re always there to light my way
(Chorus)
You will be my strength when I am weak
When I wanna give in and not turn the other cheek
Let this be the prayer that I speak
That I speak

Thank you Lord for hope today in the midst of my disappointment...that is new for me...and I give YOU the glory for it!!
Thank you for the blessing you sent my way today!
Thank you for always being you in my life!!
I love you Father!!
In Jesus Saving name.
Amen

Welcome 2008!

Welcome to 2008!

Year of the Spirit

where...

Comfort is not an option



I must say that I love New Years, I love the opportunity to start fresh, clean the slate and move forward. I wish there were another point right smack in the middle of the year to do such. But I'll take what I have and that's New Years!



So far in 2008...



I have EXCITEMENT...oh boy do I have excitement...I am excited to be on a diet...more excited to BE on the diet than the small amout of weight I have lost thus far...go WW...lovin it...I am excited to be on a budget...silly I know but I guess what I like really about these things is that I am diciplining myself...and I like the feeling of changing for the good!



I feel GOOD about Me...for a year or more me hasn't been doing so good, me has been lost lost lost...lost in a valley that was far and wide...I feel myself climbing out of that valley...being washed in the Word...and finding new hope and strength on the climb up...and again I am EXCITED about that!!



I fasted TV for a week...well I have two days left on the fast but I am thoroughly enjoying it...it feels a bit like a slow down to me...it's nice to hear the quiet and to study the word without anticipating what I am going to be watching later...I am unsure what I will do TVwise after the fast...I think I need to be TV free much more than I have been before...so maybe I will designate days that the TV doesn't get turned on!



So with that said I am ready for a New Year and a new Me...and I believe God is going before me to prepare the way!! I am submersing myself in the Word...and feeling quite refreshed...I am EXCITED about the ministry this New Year will hold and I am ready to give of myself like I used to. I can't wait...I'm EXCITED!!!



It's so cool how this year is beginning with going back to the basics...with diet - WW(Weight Watchers)!!!, budget - I have a new planner and I am planned down to the dollar and down to the minute!!!!, Children's Church - One Generation Boot Camp!!!!!!!!, Youth - Inside Out series!!! - but it's all so personal for me...I think it's all apart of God's great plan for me this year...taking me back and building me stronger!!!



It's so....so....EXCITING!!!!



Onward and Forward and Up!!



2008 here I come!!



Father,

this year belongs to you, I pray that you would appoint every step and every opportunity that is to come. I pray that I would be lead SOLEY by YOU. Thank You for the EXCITEMENT you have placed in me and thank You for bringing me back to me...the me You created me to be. Thank You for your never ending work in me...may I be simply a willing vessel this year...for your kingdom...my heart is to impact your kingdom in a positive way...I pray for souls to be won this year...many many many souls...I pray for walls to be torn down in hearts...I pray for healing...deep healing...I pray for You to be Glorified in all I GET to do this year. I love you Father, and I live to serve You. Thank You for all the opportunites you give me to do so, may I make you proud in this New Year. In Jesus name! Amen!

GRANDAD

I did what I knew I needed to do... Current mood: accomplished
my grandad was sick and i allowed stupid doubts to keep me from leaving with my family to go and see him in south carolina...friday night i got to talk to him on the phone...he said...you're the only thing that is missing, i wish you were here, i love you...within an hour i was on my way to south carolina...it was 11:00pm...i drove to south carolina by myself in the middle of the night because i realize that i was loved...love drives...i have never driven that far by myself before...mind you i did not stop...i drove for 4 1/2 hours straight without out stopping...i had a good friend talk to me for a little while and i was so thankful for that...so thankful...it was the middle of the night...i knew i needed to see my grandad and that my grandad needed to see me...i am here in south carolina at the hotel with my family that God gave me...where i belong...i am so blessed to have been given two families...they are both wonderful...this one was given to me by God...and i belong here with them...and i got to see my grandad this morning...and will get to see him again soon...he got to see me and know that i love him too...it a wondrous thing to know that you are loved...a wondrous thing...this trip has been really good...i am with my neesie, my brothers and my dad, and ashley...we are having a great time...and we got to be with grandad...i did what i knew i needed to do...be with my family...and i feel so accomplished for driving all this way by myself for the first time ever...i did not let distance or doubt or fear stand in my way...and i am thankful that i didnt...i love my family...i love my grandad...i love my brothers...i love that i am here with them...i am proud to be adopted!!!

Along the journey...

Yep that's where I am...somewhere along this grand journey...
I have to remind myself God never said this was going to be easy...
But this journey I am on is what I was created for...
Choosing good, choosing right, choosing GOD...
He had a plan for me even while I was in my mother's womb...
I want HIS plan for me...He knows better than I what is best for me...
He knows the plan for me much better than I do...He sees the bigger picture...
Sometimes I wish I could see it too...but I would understand it still...
And I wouldn't learn as much as I do just trusting him in blindness...
I need childlike faith...like how a child just follows along behind their mom...
No questions asked just goes...not needing to know why or when or what...
Just that they are loved, held, and in their presence...
That's what I need to do...just follow along, simply knowing...
That I am loved, held, and completely content to be in HIS presence...
Because HE is ALWAYS with me...He is always leading, if only I will follow...
It's not always easy when you cant see the path before you...
It's lighted as I go...moment by moment, piece by piece...I cant see the miles ahead...
I simply need trust and joy as my fuel to keep going...
I need to see HIM alone and hear HIS voice alone...
I am confident in HIS promises...I am just not so good at the waiting...
But I am going to be good at it again...YES I AM
So here I am along the journey...
learning.
growing.
waiting.
following.
trusting.
God give me strength
God give me faith
God give me paitience
God give me joy
God give me contentment
Thank You
Father
Abba Father
My Joy
My Strength
My All in All

A mess

I am about to do something that is so very very hard
sometimes obediance is the hardest thing
and when you'll miss someone so much
when everything is going to change
I want to be done
I want to let go
I want to be OBEDIANT
I am at moments doubting I can do this
but I can
cause God is asking me to
and when he asks he doesnt let down
He wont leave me
He wont forsake me
He will be here
and when its all over and I have been obediant
it will be good
it will be better
its hard
im scared
it hurts
i am missing it already
this is so hard
i want to move on
i want what GOD has for me
i want to be obediant
i want to do whats right
i also want to just run
lol
but i wont
i need to hear from you clearly God
help
please let me feel you here with me
please give me strength i can feel
peace i can feel
knowing i can feel
speak to me and let me hear
clearly
i need to hear you clearly
i need you
please be close
please give me words
your words
please give me stregth
control
peace
hope
help me to be done
done
done
done
i need to let go
i need you
only you can get me through this
touch me
speak to me
annoint me
let me walk in YOUR spirit
cover me
please
Jesus
Jesus
Jesus
I need you!
in Jesus name
amen

Let's talk about ABBA FATHER!

So not to my surprise really God is amazing! The past few weeks He has just been doing a really awesome work in me!!!
There was "a bit of silliness" in my life that I have been struggling with for quite sometime and He began showing me things I didnt like and things that didnt fit about that bit of silliness. Just stirring things up in me very subtly. Then He spoke some direct things to me on a Wednesday night. Then He ordained a complete seperation from the bit of silliness. It could only be my Father that did this all. No other way it could have all happened like that. He has now brought me to the place where I am DONE with the bit of silliness and REFOCUSED on HIM!!
In fact this is what He spoke to me:
I am
I can
&
I will
~God
Also Matthew 7:14
" But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
Refocus and STAY FOCUSED!
I am now very excited about my summer. My plans are to focus in on God and take advantage of every opportunity HE brings my way!! I can not wait.
And it all gets started this weekend we head off to CAMP!!!!
I can not wait!!
Abba Father, Thank you for your gentleness and your wisdom and for showing me the things you have shown me and for telling me the things you have told me and for working in me this awesome work you are doing. Thank you for helping me see this bit of silliness once and for all! Continue your work in me and keep me strong and Focused on YOU!!
Thank you Father!! Forgive me for getting caught up in the bit of silliness!! I love you!!

Where...How...

So lately I have been wondering...
Where has Tabbie gone?
The Tabbie that is so sure and calm and in tune with God...
The Tabbie that is patient and caring and deep...
The Tabbie that works hard on being who God created her to be...
I feel like this past year I have lost me...
I feel like I have lost me...
In the wait, in the heartache, in the question WHY?, in the promises,
In the selfishness, in the desire, in the hope, in the doubt, in the dreams...
How could I have lost what I had, who I was?
I remember sitting around a table telling some ladies how sure I was of me and what I wanted and what I was willing to do...
I was sure, I did know, I felt that deep...
How could that have left...
How could I have let that go...
How could I have gotten so bogged down...
I miss feeling sure, I miss being knowledgable, and wise...
Now I feel like I am just surviving from moment to moment...
Barely existing and making it through...
Makes me angry and disappointed...
That I could let me slip away...
That I could let myself spiral down...
I miss my closness with God, my sureness in me from Him...
Not that I havent been close to Him or been with Him...
It's just so different right now...
I just miss me...
The me that was sure, confident, and on top of things...
I feel very close to the bottom right now...
Not anywhere close to the top...

My prayer is that I will pull through and get back to the top...not that I'll ever be completely on the top...but I want some of me back...

Wedding Song

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to meIt feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

Sometimes you just have to be broken

Sometimes you have to be broken
to see
to hear
to know
Sometimes you just have to be broken
God gives us things in pieces because if He gave us the whole it would kill us
Sometimes even just those pieces He gives feel like they are going to kill us
Oh what a great Father we have, beyond anything we think or think we know
He is simply beyond anything we could fathom
He is God
He is Daddy
He is Protector
He is Giver
He is Taker
He is LOVE
He is LIFE
He is EVERYTHING
I want to be the kingdom, I want to be the touch others need from Him, I want to walk through the fear with my SAVIOR by myside guiding my every step, I want to be obediant, I want to be willing!

What I want for my Birthday

Okay so because my birthday is right around the corner I have been asked what I want...here's very bluntly what I want:

I want to finally meet the one God has for me, finally get to be in love again, finally get to have that one to share your life with, finally get to start that chapter of my life, finally get to date, hold hands, kiss, finally get to have MY WEDDING - trust me I have been to enough and have more than enough ideas, finally get to have that, ring, congrats, parties, gifts, well wishes, excitement, tears, planning advice, dress, reception, song, you know the whole thing!!!

That's what I want! I know one day I will have it, but I truly want that day to be today. Not saying I am going to compromise or do anything rash. Just that really is my desire this year, this birthday. I am ready to move forward. I am ready for a new chapter in my life. I am ready to meet my husband!

Phew...

Funny thing...I am so tired but dont have time to be tired...so exhausted but dont have time to be exhausted...you ever just feel like falling apart all together...but know you dont have time to fall apart all together...I am at work and it is one of those times where I feel like I could fall apart all together...but I cant...which may very well be a GOOD thing...I dont need to fall apart all together...so much seems to be looming before me...so much to be done...so much to wait on...so much I want...so much to get control of...so many emotions...so many disappointments...so many joys...so much...I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a hurricane...I am calm but oh my the storm that surrounds me...Jesus is the reason I am calm...I know that with all of my heart...and wow am I thankful to have HIM...for real!!

40 days...

I will seek
I will listen
I will hear
I will be obediant
I will change
I will be changed
I will GO
I will STOP
I will meditate

Be here, be close my Father! It's ALL about you!
I pray for
Direction
Wisdom
Understanding
Strength
Change

I will bring you CAKE...

There was once a little boy of 2 years old...who LOVED cake, he didnt just love cake like most children he LOVED cake. One day his mother was making a Red Velvet cake for some of her friends and little Cameron looked at his mom and said...mom I want CAKE...his mom explained that the cake was for some friends and he could not have any of the cake...well this displeased little Cameron immensley but for a bit he went on about his business...but soon he was back and told his mom...MOM I want CAAAKKEEE...so she then cut him off a small sliver so that she could cover up the missing part...but this only fuled his fire for cake...so the mom decided lets go out and distract little Cameron...so they went outside and shortly thereafter the phone rang...so mom's on the phone chatting when she hears the door close behind her...she turns around just in time to see little Cameron LOCK THE DOOR...she screams"Cameron dont you touch that cake"...little 2 year old Cameron uses all his little 2 year old might to slide a chair across the room to the counter where the cake sits...he climbs up on the chair and looks back at his mom...who once again screams"Dont you touch that cake"...Cameron takes the lid off the cake plate and is just staring at the cake...there is only inches of air between him and the cake...all the cake he could ever want...Cameron looks back at his mom...who by now is just watching and waiting...Cameron looks once again at the cake then slowly picks up the lid and places it back on the cake...climbs down from his chair...walks straight to the door and lets his mom in...now what do you suppose mom did...she gave that little two year old the BIGGEST piece of CAKE he could ever eat...he had cake from head to toe...
If we will be obediant God will bring us more CAKE than we can imagine...

Sometimes it sure it hard to put the lid back on the cake without touching it at all...God will honor that obediance...beyond anything we can imagine...I am banking on that!!

Thank you for speaking to me Lord through this story...somedays I am sliding my chair up to the cabinet to get the cake...somedays it truly is so hard to put the lid back on that cake and walk away and trust and wait...but I believe in you and I know you belive in me...together we can do this.

I love you Jesus, my savior, my victory.

Standing...

IN THE WORD...
IN THE PLACE I AM CALLED...
IN THE HARD...
IN THE EASY...
IN THE FAIR...
IN THE UNFAIR...
IN TRUTH...
IN HOPE...
IN PATIENCE...

WITH MY SAVIOR...

NO ONE EVER SAID IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EASY...EVERYTHING TAKE WORK...I HOPE I WILL BE MORE WILLING THIS YEAR THAN EVER BEFORE TO PUT IN THE WORK NEEDED TO GROW AND STAND...THERE ARE ALWAYS THINGS THAT NEED WORK...ALWAYS THINGS TO LEARN AND CHANGE...ITS NOT ALWAYS EASY TO STAND WHERE GOD HAS CALLED ME...BUT I AM COMMITTED TO STAND ANYWAY...SOMETIMES IT HURTS...BUT ITS WORTH IT...THANK YOU JESUS FOR YOUR CALL...IT IS YOURS...HELP ME TO STAND IN OBEDIANCE...I LOVE YOU LORD JESUS.

The blowing of the wind

The winds of change are ever blowing...here it comes again in the changing of another year...I wonder what the new year holds...and was this year really Victorious for me...what will the new year hold...goals fulfilled? promises begun? battling continuint?
Whatever this year holds I know one thing for sure...I will stand with my Jesus...stand strong and true...always uncompromising even in strife...always with strength even in weakness...standing for my future...the One Day will come one day...I want to be ready...I want to be alert...but I want to be content most of all...maybe in the new year contentment will return to me...

Still here

Still here...still standing...still waiting...still loving my Father, my Savior, my Helper...still a little out of control...still very much ok...its so refreshing to finally in my lifetime just simply be okay...no matter what comes my way...I am simply ok...ALL the glory goes to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ...I would never have gotten to where I am today without Him...I never would have changed...never would have been okay...my life has been completely transformed these past several years...and all the credit goes to Jesus...I had someone tell me recently "I am glad you are different and dont do the things you used to do"...well I am glad too...but its all because of Jesus...all because of the RELATIONSHIP I have with Him...He has given me everything I needed to not give up when things got hard...and whew did they get hard...but we didnt give up and we've made it this far...there is still a long journey ahead of me and much to learn and much to change...but with HIM all things are possible...and I wouldnt trade my relationship with my Savior for anything in this world...and I know I am such a better person now...and as I continue to grow and learn I will be better and better...more Christlike is the goal...always the goal...loving unconditionally...it's really all about loving...and I hope to get better and better at it...God willing...so I'm still here...still learning and growing...still In Love with my Savior!