I don't even know...

...what to even say

Lately I have been…STRUGGLING!

I have been emotional, exhausted, stressed, angry, frustrated, unmotivated…

I have acted out in my anger

Given in to my tears

I have panicked

I have been completely unmotivated to do my school work

I have disappointed myself

And I honestly have no idea what is going on with me and how to get control of this. I have to get a handle on myself.

Even still with all of this…I have been…

Happy, Loved, Encouraged, Excited…

Ultimately I am okay, completely okay but my behavior has not been okay, in fact some of my behavior is downright unacceptable.

I have some praying to do and some battling to do, but rest assured…I WILL WIN!!

I will win because Jesus is on my side and He is my victor.

You know life is not always easy or fun but in the process there are many things to learn from the places we are in and I am thankful to be learning these lessons. I know who my Heavenly Father is and that no matter how I feel at any given time He has got me and that I am okay.

One last thing…I am so very proud of my wonderful husband. He has been dealing with A LOT and he is holding on to our Heavenly Father and not letting go and he is seeking after God and I am just so very proud of him and I cannot wait to see what God has in store!! I know that God is at work, I can see it and I can hear it in the things my hubby is saying and I am just excited to share this life with such a wonderful, hard working man. I am blessed!!! Completely blessed!!!

Learning

What I just understood tonight while getting ready for church was this....

It is easy to be confident and sure of yourself when you are always surrounded by people who love you and accept you.

I just realized that it is not so easy to just be confident when you are always surrounded by new people and new things. It is then that you get your confidence not from those around you who are cheering you on constantly, but from searching out who you are in the Lord. It is a lot harder.

I have been struggling with walking into a room of strangers with as much confidence as I had back home. It is not that I am completely without confidence but there is a significant difference in my level of confidence these days. And what I realized tonight is that back home EVERYWHERE I went...church, work, anywhere really, even Walmart...I was surrounded by people who loved me and built me up and supported me, so I was constantly being filled with love and support and encouragement. But here I am surrounded by strangers, people who just don't really know me at all and are not vested in me.

Understanding this, I think will help me to run to my Father for any confidence that I need. It also makes me miss the wonderful people I was surrounded by back home. It also makes me eager to have those kinds of relationships and that kind of love and acceptance again. That only comes with time though and lots of time. It sure doesn't happen over night but neither does it happen in six months or a year. It takes a lot of time.

Relationships take time to build and cultivate. It absolutely takes a long time to be in a place where you are surrounded by people who love you and support you as well.

I am thankful to have gotten this understanding, it makes me feel less like there is something broken in me. I understand now that it is simply that things, the atmosphere, is different and it takes time to adjust to.

I am adjusting. Slowly.

I am learning to make friends very slowly because so easily you can move someone into the friend bucket only to be surprised when they are unable to fulfill that role and your heart gets broken. I am learning how to truly rely on the Lord in so many different ways that I never had to before.

I understand that this is how we learn...we experience different things...things that take us out of our comfort zones completely...like moving to a new state NINE hours away from all those loving supportive people, going back to school after eleven years, starting a new kind of job with new people on a completely new pay scale (one I have been on since I was EIGHTEEN years old), and starting over at a new church and slowly making this new place with all of these new things and new people your home, for at this point it is your HOME.

I am learning...it seems at a snail's pace...but learning all the same...and I know that I could not learn these things without having experienced them like this.

Thank You Father for all of the things that you are teaching us, thank You for this time of sowing for I know that one day we will indeed reap the benefits of our sowing!!! I love You and I trust YOU Father!!!

Weekly Recap with Photos (1/16-1/22)

This week I wanted to do a spin on the project 365 I see all over the blogsphere...so here goes...

Sunday: I totally meant to get a pic of Children's Church but I forgot :( Fail! We woke up too late to go to the 8:30 service but we made it to Children's Church and had a GREAT time!! We both weeped as we watched the kids pray for the kids around the world, it was very moving. After church we spent a relaxing day at home and rented some movies that evening. Hubby surprised me with my favorite treat from Mickey D's!!

Monday: MLK day so I was out of school and both Hubby and I were both off work so we both got to sleep in! I woke up first and spent some time in the Word (so thankful for this time as you just never know what each day holds...gotta be ready!!). Hubby got up later and called his mom who had a Dr. apt and we found out that the cancer has spread in her body again and she will begin Chemo again on Monday. It was a rough day for us. We cried and prayed a lot. We spent the afternoon doing some exchanging and shopping things we received for Christmas and then we lounged around the house taking it easy, and at the end of the day we enjoyed our new Foot Spa we bought earlier in the day with a gift card (we have been wanting one of these for a while)!!

Tuesday: Hubby worked 6-12 and I had classes until 2, came home spent some time praying and reading my bible while enjoying some yummy coffee, then I worked 5-10.

Wednesday: Hubby took me to class and hung out at the library until time for Chapel, while I was in my afternoon class Hubby grocery shopped, we came home made a lil lunch and then I headed off to work from 4-10.

Thursday: I took hubby to work since it was freezing and it had snowed (Hubby worked from 6-12), I came back home and slept until leaving for class at 9, it had snowed even more! All afternoon classes were cancelled because of the snow and temp dropping so I went to pick Hubby up from work and took him to donate plasma, afterward we came home (I had the night off of work) and spent the rest of the evening making dinner (Fajitas) and watching a movie (complete with popcorn)! As you can see from the pics below it was a cold snowy day!!

Friday: I had two classes in the morning then came home and studied a bit (I love Fridays because I get home by 10:45 am!!), Hubby had to work from 2-6, and then I worked from 4-10!


Saturday: I worked 9-12:30 and Hubby worked 12:00-4. After work we debated a while on what to do for dinner and while on the way to Ruby Tuesday we decided to go to Golden Corral instead. We CHEATED big time on our diets but enjoyed it very much!! We spent the rest of the evening on the sofa watching NCIS & HGTV (and me working on this post).

It has been quite a week! Full of prayer and trusting God!! Full of snow and learning to function in it!! Full of time at home which I am so thankful for!! Unfortunately NOT full of reading and school work...I have got to get on the ball and get motivated!!! Maybe tomorrow!!!

I really enjoyed taking pics each day and thinking about making this post. As you can tell some days I got carried away and some days it was an afterthought and I had to scramble to get a pic or pics for the day!! I plan to do this again for as long as I can keep it up!! I think it will be fun to look back on how we spent our days in this incredible time in our lives!!

What we know is GOD IS FAITHFUL AND TRUE!! We are trusting him completely and following His lead!!! We do not always understand things but we choose to trust our creator!!!

Snow

Today I...
*Walked on Fresh Powder

*Left footprints in the snow

*Drove on un-plowed roads...well

*Drove like a grandma

*Left tire tracks in the snow

*Donned my Rain/Snow Boots, Two pairs of pants, two shirts, two hoodies, and a hat

*Brushed off my Snow Boots before entering my home

*Recognized the beauty of God's creation covered in a soft blanket of pure white

Today I functioned in the Snow, saw it as beautiful and it wasn't so bad.

God is Good!!

I choose

TO BELIEVE IN YOU JESUS EVEN WHEN THINGS ARE HARD AND WE DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I CHOOSE

MORE OF YOU JESUS.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAITHFULNESS FATHER AND FOR YOUR LOVE AND FORGIVENESS AND FOR ALL YOU ARE AND ALL YOU DO!!

Random things...

I am...A STUDENT :) 

I think...ABOUT THE FUTURE
I know...MY GOD IS FAITHFUL
I want...TO GET BACK TO ME
I have...ALOT OF WORK TO DO
I wish...THINGS WERE A BIT EASIER SOMETIMES
I hate...THAT I LOSE MY WAY SO EASILY
I miss...MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY BACK HOME
I fear...GETTING LOST

I feel...HOPE
I hear...THE BOYS WATCHING THE FOOTBALL GAME
I smell...GRILLED BURGERS
I search...FOR MORE OF JESUS
I wonder...WHAT OUR FUTURE WILL BE LIKE
I regret...NOTHING…I’M LEARNING FROM THINGS INSTEAD
I love...LOVE
I care...ABOUT PEOPLE
I always...FORGET
I am not...FINISHED YET
I believe...IN JESUS
I dance...LIKE A FOOL AND LOVE IT
I sing...FOR MY LORD
I don't always...CONTAIN MY EMOTIONS
I write...RANDOMLY LATELY
I win...YES I DO WIN!
I lose...MY RIGHTS ON PURPOSE
I never...GIVE ENOUGH
I listen...LESS THAN I SHOULD
I can usually be found...STUDYING OR WORKING
I'm scared of...FAILING
I read...ALOT
I forget...ALOT
I just...LOVE LIFE
I am happy about...WHERE WE ARE & FOLLOWING GOD

2011

We have deemed 2011 as our "Year of Sowing"

On the way home from our visit to Alabama, Hubby and I had a wonderful conversation about what we want out of 2011.

We set goals and talked about where we are in life.

We understand where we are.

We are okay where we are.

Where are we???

We are poor college students on the search for the path God has for us. We are in the throngs of sowing the tough seeds that we know we will reap the benefits of later. We are unsure of exactly what the future holds but we KNOW that GOD HAS US SAFELY IN HIS ARMS.

You know it's is sometimes quite amazing to me that life can be so tough and so wonderful all at the same time.

2011...here we come...armed with Jesus, Our Heavenly Father, and the Holy Spirit...seeking HIS WILL & HIS WAY...here we come!

I love planning especially when my Hubby gets involved too!!

Our life together is precious and I have said it before and I will say it again prolly forever...I never could have imagine life this wonderful.

Perfect...No.

Wonderful...Yes.

The ONLY one who deserves credit, glory, and honor for that is my precious Heavenly Father!!!

I remember the waiting...the hurting...the wondering...the planning...the dreaming...the disappointments...the long nights...the lonely moments...the HOPE...the amazing INTIMATE TIME WITH MY SAVIOR...the praying...the seeking...the WAITING...and...EVERY SECOND OF IT WAS MORE THAN WORTH IT.

I am who I am now because of it...and we are who we are now because of God's plan and His hand in our relationship.

We want to strive all the days of our lives to keep Him at the center and forefront of our lives!! We want to strive to grow grow grow in Him!!! We want to be in the center of His will and on His path!!!

Oh what a journey!!

Oh what a year 2010 was!!

We look forward to what 2011 holds!! Pray for us as we sow...financially, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and wholly!!

Things I am Loving Lately

>Mobile websites
>The New Testament's practical application
>Getting to be home with family for a bit
>New Clothes
>That I am feeling very ready to loose weight again
>The sound of my precious hubby snoring next to me-seriously I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT
>My iPhone
>Getting my books for the semester early
>Sharing the driving with my hubby
>Growing
>That we are getting started in a new Children's Ministry
>That God did what was necessary to bring me to a place where I can finally open my heart up to our new church by changing the way it feels to be at our church at home
>Amazing Godly friends
>Future Girl's nights
>New worship music
>Sunshine
>Salad
>Fridays
>Houndstooth

2010 What a Year!

2010 – Wow what a year!! What a Wonderful, challenging, hard, journeyful year. I sure am glad that God has us in the palm of His hand and that He speaks to us in so many ways otherwise I believe I would just feel CRAZY!!

2010 brought a HUGE move…at the end of May we moved from Alabama to Missouri to go back to school. It was a huge move. It was a hard move. IT WAS THE RIGHT MOVE.

We spent the summer getting acclimated to the new city and finding jobs. Hubby got a job as a cook at a Bar B Que place called the Rib Crib. I eventually was offered a job at the Dress Barn which I promptly turned down as it did not feel right at all. I soon after got a job at Old Navy. Hubby got a second job as a cook at a pizza place on the other end of town called Old Chicago Pizza. He works so very hard for us!! He also started a third job doing what he did back home a much smaller scale (four stores).

We quickly found a church home at Prasie Assembly! We felt like home the first Sunday we visited and it was only the third church that we visited!! God answered our prayers to find a home church quickly!!! We are excited to being working in their Children’s Ministry next Sunday (January 9, 2011).

In August we both started back to school. I poured myself into studying and working. I literally studied and worked and slept. My poor hubby was very neglected during this time of adjustment. I soon learned better how to balance my time and gave my studies over to God in prayer. He absolutely honored every second I committed to study after that as well as every second I was able to spend with my wonderful supportive hubby. I learned a lot about balance during this first semester.

In October we celebrated our ONE YEAR Wedding Anniversary by going on a Couples Retreat with our new church. We had a great time with some great couples and were greatly challenged in a great way!!!

My brother began dating and unfortunately it was not a very pleasant experience as I feel I reached out to build relationship with his girlfriend and received very little response in return.

My parents came up for a visit just before Thanksgiving and it was so great to have family with us for the first time since May. We had a great time and just soaked up their presence.

Hubby’s job at the Rib Crib cut him down to one day a week shortly after our anniversary trip and then right after my parents visit Old Chicago let him go as well. But God was so very faithful and in a passing conversation with my boss at Old Navy I mentioned that my husband’s jobs had cut him back and Old Navy was our only income just about. She (who never really listens when others speak) heard what I said and replied that they needed a good worker for Shipment and within days Hubby was an official Old Navy employee. He quickly gained favor and they have currently offered him a key holder position. We are both happy at Old Navy and happy to be working together again.

We WORKED hard through Thanksgiving and was actually able to have Thanksgiving dinner with my brother Daniel while it Snowed for the first time!! It was a great day!!

Finals week came and I was stressed to the max trying to get all of my papers, projects, and exams completed. I finished the semester Strong with Four A’s and One C!!!! Incredible I tell ya, all GOD!!! He is so Faithful!!!

We WORKED hard through Christmas getting any extra hours possible in preparation of going home for Ten days at New Years!! We loved being home for the first time in EIGHT LONG LONG months!!! We just soaked up the LOVE like sponges to get us through until our next visit!!!

While home I received a great push from the Lord that I really needed. I went home to our home church expecting it to be comfortable, home, and a refuge. It was NONE of those things. Truthfully it was weird. It was great to see everyone and again soak up the love everyone passed out!!! But I realized that is no longer my home and that I no longer have a place there…I am not supposed to have a place there. It is not due to anyone making me feel like I do not have a place…it is simply that I am not supposed to have a place there any longer. I drove through my home town and loved it and missed it but realized very quickly that it is just not where we are supposed to be. We are supposed to be in Missouri, we are supposed to be at Praise Assembly.

I truly needed that push! I needed it to open my heart to Praise and allow it to become my home church. I had not allowed that at all. It is no accident that we came home when we did and that we will be starting in ministry at Praise NEXT SUNDAY and this Sunday I realized all of this. God is so very faithful and that doesn’t even cover half of it!!

In Sunday school we touched on a few things that I feel like spoke to us and the place we are in. Hubby has made the decision to sit this semester out and seek God to find out what he is supposed to be doing as he now realizes that teaching is not what he is supposed to be doing. I am BEYOND proud of my husband. For making it through a semester so well in the process of realizing his path was shifting. For making the hard decision to stop and seek the Lord for direction. I am just so very proud of Him every single day. He blows me away.

I am blown away that God placed such a man in my life and allows me to be apart of his journey and him apart of mine. I know that God has GREAT and INCREDIBLE things in store for the both of us!!

I cannot wait to see what 2011 holds for us and I cannot wait to see what our ministry looks like when we get to that point!!
I am so Thankful for a Faithful Heavenly Father that NEVER leaves us or forsakes us!!!

2010 was a year of Adventure and Change. Wonder what 2011 has in store for us!!

We have decided to adopt the motto that Pastor Tim presented to KOR this morning…

LOVE God

GROW in Christ

SERVE others

…we have many goals for the new year and we are adopting this as our motto as well and pray to live it our to the best of our abilities and ALWAYS WITH GOD’S HELP!! As we cannot do this without HIM!!

Struggle

I am struggling...

It barely feels like Christmas and it's two days away...

I am struggling to find the Christmas feeling so far away from family and friends and all the parties, activities, plans, and shopping.

I miss home and our family and friends. I miss being so surrounded with everyone who loves us!

I just can't wait for the day we get back home!!! I am ready to be there!! I know the trip home will be too short but I am thankful for every little second we will once again be surrounded by those we love and who love us!!!

I wish I wasn't struggling so much but this is the place that I am in.

Even with the struggle I know the reason for the season...I am more thankful than EVER for Jesus in our lives. We would not make it without Him. I am so very excited to spend our lives serving Him. I am praying that we do that better and better every year. I know I have much much much to improve on!!!

I am looking forward to January. To the ending of this year and the beginning of another. Who knows what lies ahead in 2011!!

Father, Thank You for You and for sending Your Son to die for our sins and to make a way to have relationship with You. You are truly amazing and I am so Thankful for You in our lives. I give you all the days left in this year and I give all the days for the rest of our lives. May we serve YOU all the days of our lives!!! In Jesus name. Amen.

A new obsession

HOUNDSTOOTH

I have loved houndstooth for a while but it has become somewhat of an obsession. I just think it is so classy and classic! If I had money I would have a lot of it around!! Here are a few of my current loves...

Ok so who wouldn't love houndstooth nails...so classy

I would love to find bedding for our bed preferably just sheets

Love these...

Love Love Love This!!

Love this!! It's a MUST have!

Yep love these!!

These are on my list of things to get SOON!!! Love them!

These are so classy...love them!

Our tree next year is going in this direction...can't wait!!!

So a peek into my new obsession...and this post just proved that I am indeed obsessed!!

Amazed

I am continually amazed by my INCREDIBLE HEAVENLY FATHER!!

As the semester draws to an end and stress is released from me as each exam is done I find myself reflecting on the past several month. It is with complete awe in my Heavenly Father!! I am blown away!!

>I have just about completed (only one more exam to go on Monday) my FIRST SEMESTER IN BIBLE COLLEGE!!

>I have not completely failed...in fact I have done QUITE WELL...in all of my classes!! God has been SO FAITHFUL TO HELP ME THROUGH!!

>I have learned so much about my God, myself, my husband, and academically!! It is truly incredible!!

>I have successfully transitioned into living in a brand new place, with brand new people, and brand new EVERYTHING!! And we are doing really great!!

>This truly has been one of the most incredible years!!

So here I sit in AWE of my Heavenly Father and all of the Incredible things He has done, IS DOING, and I know that He has SO much more in store!!!

Wow I am blown away and excited and happy and in awe and thankful and BLESSED!!

Now to ACE my last final and bring up that darn C and then to RELAX and enjoy our Christmas as best we can without family. I plan to ready some fun books, gaze at our Christmas tree, snuggle with my hubby, clean, RELAX, pack for home, sleep late, work happily, snuggle with our Tater kitty, bake some cookies, pray for our loved ones, dream about the future, plan for next semester, long to be home, did I mention gazing at our Christmas tree...I JUST LOVE LOVE LOVE IT'S GLOW IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY, think about our Lord Jesus and His amazing birth and purpose, pray for our new adventures into ministry at the beginning of the year, head home for ten blissful days to love love love on our families, sing, watch Hallmark Christmas movies, maybe even go to the movies, cut my hair!!!, hold my hubby's hand, drink hot chocolate, wear pj's often (I get to wear them to work today and tomorrow for a promotion WOOT WOOT!!!)...ah I am excited for the break!!!!!

FATHER GOD YOU ARE SO GOOD TO US AND YOU BLOW ME AWAY OFTEN. THANK YOU FOR LOVING US AND FOR BEING LORD OF OUR LIVES. THANK YOU FOR LEADING US HERE AND PROVIDING ALL THAT WE NEED AND MORE. I LOVE YOU AND TRUST YOU AND CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU HAVE IN STORE FOR THE NEW YEAR AND NEW SEMESTER!!!! THANK YOU HEAVENLY FATHER. IN JESUS NAME. AMEN.

Not your "Typical" I'm Thankful for list..

Saw this on another blog (McMommy) and wanted to give it a whirl...

1) Jim Carrey in The Grinch!

2) Silly Dancing and those who are brave enough to do it in the middle of Old Navy so I don't have to and so we can be entertained while working!!

3) My wonderful iPhone!

4) Frosted Windows - so dreamy!

5) My awesome rain boots that helped me trek through the ice/snow/frozen slush while taking pics today. (YEP IT SNOWED ON THANKSGIVING HERE!! OUR FIRST THANKSGIVING IN MO!!!)

6)Chapstick as my lips stay incredible chapped these days

7)Hot Chocolate!

Ok now for a more serious Thankful list:

1)Amazing Heavenly Father

2)Amazing Husband

3)Loving and Supportive Family and Friends

4)Our Job

5)The school Semester is coming to an end

6)Salvation, Forgiveness, Faith, Love, Hope, & Joy

We have had a great Thanksgiving Day full of Joy, Fun, Food, Ice/Snow, and Love...Thank YOU Heavenly Father for all of it!

2010 Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving & Holidays in general will be drastically different for us this year as we will be here in Missouri far from home, family, and friends.

There are many emotions that come along with this. I know this is where we are supposed to be and that it takes sacrifice and that we will get to see our family and friends shortly after the holidays. But the thought of not seeing our family on the holidays is very saddening. I see all around us those who are excited about this time of year because they are getting to spend time with their families and be apart of their life long traditions and it makes it a bit harder for me.

However, I have given it over to God. I know this is where we are supposed to be and that it helps us to appreciate our times with families so much more. So when the day comes that we get to head home a few days after Christmas I will be beyond excited!! I have not seen my mom in over 6 months and I have never been this far away or spent this much time away from her.

I am excited that we will get to spend Thanksgiving Day with my brother Daniel. I am glad that we are here so that he is not alone on the holiday. I am also excited to have Christmas morning to ourselves this year as well. I think we will definitely be making that a tradition when we have children! (Which will be in a few years after we graduate!!)

So our Thanksgiving this year will consist of:

Thanksgiving Day:

Work from 6am-11am

Thanksgiving meal with Daniel (Turkey & Dressing from Cracker Barrel, Mac & Cheese, Green bean casserole, & I am not sure what else yet)

Work from 8pm-6am Friday morning

Black Friday:

Get off work at 6am

Sleep

Chili/Iron Bowl Game @ 1:00 with Daniel and his girlfriend Chelsea

Back to work @ 11pm-7am Saturday morning

Saturday:

Get off work at 7am

Sleep & Relax the rest of the day

Maybe the Harry Potter movie & some School work!!

Sunday:

Worship service

Nap

Youth service

Back to school on Monday...ugh!! I am so so so ready for this semester to be DONE!!!

So that is our Thanksgiving this year. It will be different but it is where we are at and I really am okay about it!!

You know life changes, it doesn't stay the same, and God has us right where He wants us and that is the most incredible, Peaceful feeling.

Thank You Father for our lives that are submitted to You, Thank you for providing all things for us!! We love you and are most Thankful for YOU!!

Our life these days..

Work work and more work...

We are both working at Old Navy and next week (Thanksgiving week) we both are scheduled to work around 40 hours and many of those will be over night hours. It should be an interesting week!!!

Studying...the semester is nearing it's end...PRAISE THE LORD!!! However, with the end of a semester comes lots of projects, papers, and reading to finish as well as lots of studying for exams. I honestly have no idea how I am going to find time to get everything done!! I cannot wait for Christmas break!!! I am looking forward to next semester thought because I should have less reading to complete!!

Church...we have made steps to become more involved and I think it makes both of us feel much better. We have turned in our forms for joining the Children's Ministry team for January, Hubby has been asked to be on the security team, and we went to our first youth service tonight. We do not plan to over commit, we know our limitations, unfortunately work will limit us the most, but it sure does feel good to be getting involved again. We do not do well to just sit on the pew. Although we have truly enjoyed this time of rest and being in the Word together in the sanctuary!!

We had a visit from my parents and two precious youth girls from our home church (Tay & Val) last weekend and that was really really wonderful!! It was so wonderful to be surrounded by those who love us!! It has been around six months since we have been surrounded by people who loves us. We will get to see Hubby's dad and family in a few weekend as we travel a few hours south to Tennessee to attend his cousin's wedding. It will be so good to see them, I know it have been really hard for Hubby not to get to see his dad!! We can't wait to get home around New Year's to see all of our family and friends too!!! The time is getting closer and the closer it gets the more excited I get!! It will be completely refreshing and rejuvenating for us I know!!

I am ready to get the house decorated for Christmas but Hubby wants to wait until after Thanksgiving. So I am honoring that and waiting patiently. That will be our tradition to put up Christmas the day or weekend after Thanksgiving!! The holidays will be hard for us this year, being away from our families will be truly tough, the many hours at work will however help to keep our minds off of it!! I do feel sad though that Neesie and Mom both will have no children home for Thanksgiving. I know that will be very difficult for them. I am praying that not only will God cover our hearts during the holidays aways but that He will also cover their hearts and all of our families hearts as we are away for the holidays!! We love and miss everyone so much and truly are excited to get home to visit!!

So I have been growing my hair out and let me just say that...IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY...I do not like having long hair it is too much work and I do not like it sitting on my neck. I cannot wait to cut it!! I hope to be able to do that soon!! I will have to post before and after pictures!

I have been drawing nearer to God again and that feels incredible!! It's all about making the time to spend with Him, in His presence and in His Word!! I just want to be consistent in that!!

I have also been spending a bit more time at the gym as well as many times that is the only way I can stay awake to read. So I go to the gym and get on the elliptical and read my school books or my bible. I am thankful for the double motivation to read and work out. I need both!! This is the heaviest I have ever been and it truly is getting very out of control, I need to get a handle on it now before I have to get myself on the biggest loser show to lose weight!! I do not want to see the scale at 200lbs and I am too close to that for comfort!! Speaking of comfort, nothing is comfortable at this weight except pj's and lounge wear!! And none of my dressier clothes fit so I live in jeans and t-shirts while out and pj's while at home. I know my sweet hubby gets tired of seeing the sloppy loungy me!! So I need to loose weight so that I can fit into some of my nicer outfits!!!

That is all of the catching up I have for now. I am going to go and snuggle with my Hubby and watch Narnia Prince Caspian.

Likes/Dislikes

Current Likes:

~The weekend with my family

~Coffee

~My fleece sweatpants and over sized hoodie

~The way my hubby looks at me with such love

~Christmas music

~Christmas decorations going up around town

Current Dislikes:

~My weight

~My lack of clothes that fit

~The way I look in pictures

~Wearing anything other than my fleece sweatpants and over sized hoodie

~ My hair

Update

Completely and utterly enjoying our time with my parents. So So Thankful for them, their love for us, and their support of us!!!

Reminders

These are a few things that I have been reminded of recently.

Some of these reminders came through amazing Godly women who I am so blessed to have as my friends and some came from God himself:

>God has us where we are to replenish us.

>I do not have to be that strong leader just now.

>"look at all of these moments and feelings as sandpaper. Friction that is hard and uncomfortable, but will smooth away something unpleasant and make it into something beautiful"

>Return to that place of depth with God

>Quality and not Quantity

>I am prayed for

>I am Safe

>I am not alone in these things

Thank you Father.

Things I am excited about

* TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA TONIGHT!!

* ITALIAN FOOD TONIGHT!!

* PARENTS VISITING NEXT WEEKEND!

* SWEET GIRLS VISITING NEXT WEEKEND AS WELL!

* GETTING TO TALK TO FRIENDS!

* FEELING BETTER!

* TSO TONIGHT!!!

* WORKING WITH MY HUBBY AGAIN!

* GETTING TO SPEND THE WEEKEND WITH MY PARENTS!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THEM!!!

* WORKING IN CHILDREN'S CHURCH AGAIN STARTING IN JANUARY!!

* THAT JESUS IS MY BEST FRIEND (even when I do not treat him that way - BOO ME!!)

My eyes are opening

I so understand why God wanted me to come to college. My eyes are being opened to so many things that have changed me and will change our ministry!!

I am excited to be here.

God is good...All of the time.

Reflections..

of a HAPPILY MARRIED WOMAN...

I HAVE A HUSBAND WHO DOES WHATEVER IT TAKES

LAUNDRY, DISHES (he is at the sink scrubbing dishes as we speak), GRILLING IN THE RAIN, WORKING WHATEVER SHIFTS ARE AVAILABLE TO HIM (even when he is exhausted or it takes him away from me after we haven't seen each other much), TAKING CARE OF OUR KITTY, TAKING CARE OF OUR CAR, STAYING UP ALL NIGHT TO MAKE SURE I GET UP INSANELY EARLY FOR WORK, HAVING LUNCH READY WHEN I GET HOME FROM SCHOOL, PRAYING FOR OUR FAMILY, HOLDING MY HAND, AND MANY MANY MANY MORE THINGS THAT ARE TOO MANY TO LIST.

I AM BLESSED. SO VERY VERY BLESSED. I AM BLOWN AWAY WITH THE MAN THAT GOD CHOOSE FOR ME. BLOWN AWAY. IT IS SUCH A CONFIRMATION OF GOD'S LOVE FOR ME, THAT HE WOULD BLESS ME SO MUCH WITH THIS INCREDIBLE MAN.

We just passed our One Year mark. I cannot believe that we have been married a year already. The year passed in the blink of an eye it seems. I remember getting engaged, planning the wedding, getting married, our honeymoon, getting to live together, planning our move, moving, adjusting, new home, new jobs, new EVERYTHING, starting school, and poof more than a year has passed in the blink of an eye.

God provided us the opportunity to attend a couples retreat with our church the weekend of our anniversary. It was an incredible time of being together, growing together, learning together, playing together, praying together, worshiping together, and being challenged together. We were at a beautiful place with a Beautiful Heavenly Father, and great leaders loving on great couples.

Our anniversary day was a real and simple day. It was who we are and where we are at. It was perfect. I woke up to find...TICKETS TO THE TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA!!!! I have been wanting to go for so long and I can't wait!! (We go in a couple weeks!) I woke my sweet hubby up with lots of excitement and thank yous and subtle hints that his gift was right beside him. (Hints he was too sleepy to pick up on right away, lol) I gave him an Alabama watch, he liked it a lot! We got up for church but missed it because I couldn't find anything that fit (that was the REAL part ha ha), we made hamburger helper for lunch, then we got dressed and went to the Botanical Gardens in town to walk around and take a few pics (this was a gift to me as hubby really isn't a big fan of pics - he was a great sport!!), we then went out to dinner at Ruby Tuesday with a buy one get one free coupon (this is where we are and I love that this was our dinner on our first anniversary and we used a coupon! Love it!!), then we headed to the bowling ally for cheap bowling night. We did not bowl well but we had a good time and tried hard! We then came home to eat the top of our wedding cake. Which was quite good actually! I had three pieces and hubby had two!! It was THE PERFECT DAY!

Our first year of marriage was chock full of wonderful memories and some tough times. We married, moved, and became college students. We have grown so much as husband and wife, and as friends to one another. We have made adjustments, we have cried tears of joy, sorrow, frustration, and hope. We have prayed, and sought the face of the Lord, we have believed and trusted. We have held hands, held each other, missed our families and friends, and loved each other through it all. We have learned to love, support, and encourage one another and to put the other first. We have learned better how to love one another!! We have learned likes and dislikes and what tough moments look like as well as what blissful moments look like.

I would say that this first year of marriage has created in me a greater love for my wonderful and Faithful Heavenly Father and a deeper faith in my Jesus, a greater love and appreciation for my amazing and wonderful husband, and a greater love and appreciation for our families and friends whom we miss so very much!!

Our wedding day still stands as one of the most amazing days of my life. That is the happiest and at peace I can ever remember feelings. With our families and friends surrounding and loving on us and making a vow to love each other forever with God as our Center always!! A truly beautiful and perfect day!!! We are still beyond thankful and blown away by how everyone came together to make the day exactly what it was...Perfect and wonderful!! We truly miss our friends and families more than words can express and can't wait to get home to see everyone!!!

We cannot wait for what God has in store for us in this next year. We expect wonderful things!!!

Here's to FOREVER with MY FOREVER!!

I love you my Mr. Wonderful, My Forever, My Hubby, with all of my heart and I thank God for you every single day!!!! I am proud to be your wife and have you as my husband!! I couldn't have imagined it better than this!!! Thank you for being such an incredible man of God, thank you for loving God and seeking after Him and being willing to follow His will, thank you for doing whatever it takes, thank you for loving me, and thank you for being my best friend!!! I am so proud of you and so thankful for you!!

Thank you Heavenly Father for the amazing man that you choose for me and share with me. Thank you for Your faithfulness, forgiveness, and love. Thank you for seeing us through the hard times and the wonderful times. Thank you for being by our sides every second of every day. Thank you for challenging us to be better. Thank you for being You and for teaching us!!! We love you with all of our hearts and cannot wait to see what you have in store for us. We trust you and believe in You and we serve You!!! In Jesus name. Amen.

Always Faithful..

When we were lost...You were faithful

When we were single....You were faithful

When we began dating...You were faithful

When we were both laid off...You were faithful

When we needed new jobs...You were faithful

When we needed to buy a ring...You were faithful

When we had a wedding to pay for...You were faithful

When we had a big move to pay for and get through...You were faithful

When we had school to pay for...You were faithful

When we had books to buy...You were faithful

When we were broken in Spirit...You were faithful

When we were exhausted...You were faithful

When we were homesick...You were faithful

When we were stressed...You were faithful

Sometimes I just need to remember the many ways in which YOU ARE FAITHFUL Father!

Thank You for your faithfulness. Thank You that no matter how desperate I feel in the moment of crisis, it is only a mere moment and the moment ALWAYS passes and YOU ARE ALWAYS FAITHFUL.

Help me to remember that so that the MOMENTS are filled with FAITH instead of worry and anxiety. Fill our home precious Jesus with your Peace I pray. Fill our hearts with Your Peace I pray. Fill our lives with your Faith I pray. Always.

In Jesus precious precious name I pray. Amen.

Moving Forward...

Moving Forward

They sang this song in church this morning (Praise Assembly in MO) and I had such an emotional reaction to it.

First: It made me miss our home church (New Life AL) so much as this song was an anthem for our church for a while. As we sang it was hard to once again realize that we must move forward from our wonderful home church. Yes we will most certainly go back to visit, but it will be different.

Second: It made me think about how badly I do want to move forward. Move forward into a new year with my husband and for us to grow more and more every year. Move forward in school and toward the life that You, Father God, have called us to. As we approach our One Year Anniversary I cannot help but be emotional as I think about how Faithful God is and where we are now compared to where we began.

Several lines in the song just touch on where we are and what God is up to...

What a moment you have brought us to:

Springfield, Missouri from Columbiana, Alabama = Wow!

Full-time College students from Full-time workers = Wow!

One year of MARRIAGE = From Years of being single = Wow!

You have given us a second chance:

Wow! We were both lost. Very lost and you gave us second chances. Here we are literally following Jesus in Springfield. It was not easy to give our sins and old lives of darkness over to You Jesus and there are moments when it is not easy to continually give our lives over to you. But you have given us a second chance (and many other chances as well)! How faithful you are precious Jesus, Abba Father!

Surrender our lives to Christ...Moving moving forward:

We have surrendered our life to you Christ and we will keep moving forward!

Keep moving forward when we are exhausted, tired, stressed, scared, when we wanna just throw our hands up and give up because that just seems easier. We will keep moving forward, following you, growing in you, desiring more of you, applying your Word to our lives and allowing it to change us, we will move forward into the life that You have called us to, even if we are doing it alone.

All things are made new:

You made us new when we surrendered our lives to You Jesus and I am so very thankful for that. You continually make us new as we grow in you and allow your Word to change us and mold us into Your image!!

Change also makes things new, new city, new people, new church, new routine.

Change is not an easy thing but we will keep persevering so that our lives will indeed be DIFFERENT and be a Testament of YOUR LOVE JESUS!

I needed this emotional reaction today. And the encouragement from another Children's Pastor that followed this afternoon. To be re-fueled to KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!

It is so beautiful to me that our Heavenly Father brings encouragement even when we didn't know we needed it!!

Father, You are so beautiful and loving and faithful!! I praise You for who you are!!! You are so beautiful and wonderful and I am so thankful to be a part of your kingdom and to get to do kingdom work. Right now I understand that for the most part that work is to STUDY and to gain all the knowledge that I possibly can so that you can use me in greater ways to touch the lives of your precious children in the near future. Father you are indeed amazing!!! Thank you for our second chance in this life to love you and serve you. Father I pray that YOUR Truth will sink deeper and deeper into our hearts and lives and be evident in all we do for the rest of our lives. Father I thank you for pushing us forward even when it is so incredibly hard. I thank you for sending encouragement at just the right times!! I thank you Father because you are wonderful and Holy and Worthy and I praise you tonight with all of my heart!! Thank you for Your Word!! May we have such a strong love and desire for your Word and may it transform our entire beings and lives forever. Thank you Father for bringing us together to walk this journey together with You. Lead us and guide us and change us and speak to our hearts and let us dear Father be all that you created us to be. In Jesus' precious name I pray. Amen.

Love

Crazy Life

Things are a bit crazy right now. With exams and papers due!

Good New thought...after Thursday I will be able to breathe again!!!

Even Better news...Friday after my two classes my Wonderful Hubby and I are leaving for our...ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TRIP!!!!

We are going to the lake for the weekend for a Couple's Retreat with our church. I am excited to be away with my Husband for the weekend without Books, Notebooks, or Old Navy. Without interruptions or distractions. To reflect on our year together and on our Future!!!! Then we will spend our Anniversary day together, taking some pictures and just being together, and of course eating our Wedding Cake!!!

I can't believe it has been a year already!! The time has gone by so fast!!! It is really shocking!!

I'll try to work on a post about our year but my brain is exhausted these days!!

Study time!

Weekend Review:

After looking back on my blog posts of previous years I have decided that I like weekend reviews.

Friday:

I had classes from 7:30 to 9:30

We spent the afternoon running a few errands and then went to do a little bargain/window shopping. It was a sweet afternoon of holding hands and just appreciating the time together. Then I had to be at work by 2:30 and worked until 11:00.

When I got home Hubby had rented a movie that he thought I would like.

We ended up getting distracted by working on my spring class schedule so we started the movie late and I ended up falling asleep. I'm such an old lady.

Saturday:

I had to work from 8:30 to 2:45

Hubby had to work from 12:00 to 4:00 and then again from 6:00 to close (well after midnight). He ended up coming home for a bit between shifts. It was nice to be home together for a bit.

I spend the rest of the day relaxing under my electric blanket. Worked some on my Blind Project paper, watched the BAMA game and watched the move I slept through Friday night.

Sunday:

Had a wonderful time in God's presence at church. Had a very powerful time of communion.

Then home to eat my hubby's amazing chili and watch some football and relax and nap!

My brother came over and spent the whole day with me. It was really really nice to get to spend time with him and get to catch up!!! It was THE PERFECT DAY!! I even got half of my paper written!!!

Love

Weekly Facebook Status Update...

Sunday: "3 hour blind project begins...NOW!"

Monday: "Ate a superb steak dinner @ the dinning room table with my wonderful hubby! Now to study study before hubby's softball game! It has been a very nice day!"

Tuesday: "The devil is a butthole!"

Wednesday: "Thankful for LIFE today! Jesus paid your ransom, how are you honoring that today?"

Thursday: "Just had an attacker drill at school...NOONE in our class yelled SPARTANS & our attacker never had a chance! We were informed & ready though!"

Friday: "It's OCTOBER!!! My favorite month of the whole year!!! Fall & our Anniversary!! Wow how quickly time has gone!!!"

Saturday: "Why yes, yes Tater and I are snuggled up under my electric blanket on this lovely FALL day!!"

OCTOBER!!!

It's here!! My favorite month!!!

I love this month it has always been my favorite month. It begins Fall and the temp drops and there are pumpkins and fall leaves, and pumpkin spice latte's and sweaters, and now it also hold our wedding anniversary. A great month indeed!!

Our October will be filled with studying, hopefully a pumpkin patch, chili, exams, work, football of course, walks in the park holding hands, a couples retreat, hopefully a visit from my parents!!!!!, hoodies, warm socks, snuggling on the sofa, chili, pumpkins, wedding cake, remembering our wedding, and just Life's chaos.

I was looking back today and realized that each year holds its own kind of chaos. That is just life.

Last year was wedding chaos, this year has been moving, adjusting, school, and balance chaos. Next year it will be something different.

THIS IS LIFE. THIS IS LIFE.

In all of these things there is JESUS AND HIS LOVE AND FORGIVENESS, GRACE AND MERCY, there is LOVE AND HOPE AND STRIVING TO BE BETTER, there is LAUGHTER AND JOY, TEARS AND STRIFE, there is LIFE.

Father Thank You for this LIFE. Thank you for YOUR FAITHFULNESS AND PROVISION. Thank you for who you are and who you are in our lives!! Thank YOU for this year!!!

HAPPY OCTOBER YALL!!!!