So I was sitting in our lil apartment last night and I began thinking about all the nights I had sat there before alone. I sat quietly and listened. I heard the sounds of my sweet husband downstairs making us dinner (one that consisted of my favorite dish that he created – Spinach Casserole). I realized while I was sitting there that I had grown quite accustomed to the sounds of our marriage. The sounds of him making dinner or taking out the trash. The sound of ESPN on the television or the sound of the bean bag when he and Tater are ready for a nap. The sound of his snoring in the mornings or the sound of his shower getting ready for work. The sound of him doing laundry or working at the computer. The sound of his laughter (usually always directed at me). The sounds of him praying or answering Jeopardy questions. The sounds of our lives.
I can remember sitting in that same spot and the apartment being so still and so quiet. I can remember the lonely feelings that I felt wondering when it was going to be my turn to find my soul mate. I remember pleading with God to hurry up. I remember praising God and praying to God and Trusting God even when I felt the loneliness. I remember the only sounds were Tater and myself and the support of my family and friends’ encouragement as they waited with me.
As I sat last night in our lil apartment I remember once again how Faithful God is. Faithful to allow me the lonely times in my lil apartment and to allow me the proper amount of time to grow with Him and seek Him and find Him. How Faithful God is to bring my soul mate in His perfect timing and not my own. How Faithful God is to protect me from myself when even I could not do so.
My heart fills with Thankfulness for my Heavenly Father. My Father who knows best, who sees the bigger picture and loves me enough to hold back, discipline, teach me, and most of all to love me No Matter What, and No Matter how many times I mess up or don’t do things right or don’t spend enough time with Him, or don’t have the right attitude or words. True Unconditional and Everlasting Love. Yes I am filled with Thankfulness for my Faithful Heavenly Father and the many sounds he has brought into my life and for the many silences He has also brought into my life to transform me into who I am now and for the many sounds and silences He will bring into my life as I spend all the days of my life trying to serve and love Him as best as my lil human self can.
I am Thankful beyond words for the things and people that My Heavenly Father has blessed me with. I would not be who I am today without them all.
I am Thankful for my Heavenly Father, Husband, Mother, Neesie, Dad, Jared, Daniel, for our small women’s group, and my closest friends and too many others to name. I am Thankful.