Tuesday, May 31, 2005

My favorite place to be...in the presence of God!

Wow, last night at camp was so awesome!!! It is incredible to know that kids lives were changed. I am so excited about what God has done and is going to do this week. To know that not a single child is at camp by accident, it was ordained by God and He is going to do amazing things in their life this week!! I am just so thankful to be a small part of it, to be able to share His love and tell the kids how much He loves them and how precious they are to Him. Wow! There is no greater joy, not greater purpose!! I am just so thankful!! I think the whole service was awesome last night...from the botched attitude check to the altar call...AWESOME!!! Though it was as hot at Hades in there it was so incredible!! I can not wait to see what God is going to do tonight!! Kids are so precious! Thank you Father for this opportunity to be a part of Your work! I am humbled and thankful!!
I had better get to work so I can leave early to get back to camp!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

just thought I would update my blog...nothing in particular to say. Work has been crazy busy lately...I now do invoicing along with all my other stuff...it makes my day super busy but also makes it go by super fast. I am on right now because we have been having power surges and our system is down for a bit and I am sort of on lunch, though I have already finished my SmartOnes meal. I am not going out for lunch today...just too much to do...so as soon as I get done keying this I am back to work. I hope my queries run better when I go back to run them...that is so frustrating to me...to be waiting on information and it takes forever...lately God has been speaking to me about changes and the fruits of the spirit...and it really seems like everywhere I turn I am hearing about it...kind of cool to me...Sunday night I was at the altar seeking God and sort of in despair about my personality and the flaws it contains...but God sent a word to me and told me that He has planted many seeds and the fruits are there it just takes time for them to grow...that I am okay and He is proud of the way I seek Him...I so needed to hear that...I absolutely love when God speaks to me...I am thankful that He speaks often and I am sure He would speak more often if I would only slow down enough to listen to Him. I am so in love with my God...I am so excited about the places He is taking me too...I can not wait to unfold the future He has written for me...because I know that He has chosen all the very best things for me...it is exciting...I can not wait to meet my husband and to see where He leads us in ministry...I know I have alot of learning and growing to do...but I am okay with that...God is really gentle in His showing me what I need to change and work on...and He always supplies what I need to get where He wants me to go...I am telling you we could not have a more wonderful Father in heaven...He loves us so much more than our human minds can ever comprehend...it is truly incredible...I can't even imagine what it would be like to really grab hold of how much He loves us...I am so thankful for His love...I hope to realize more and more His love for me as I grow and learn and draw closer to Him...Camp is coming up so soon, but not quite soon enough...oh wow...camp is so awesome...I love it so much...kids lives are changed...I never had that opportunity when I was growing up to experience God like these kids get to...infact the first week of camp started yesterday...last night God did a mighty work in kids lives...wow...I love to think about that...there is nothing more incredible than to see a child worshiping God and seeking Him...and camp has such an incredible atmosphere...I know we can have that atmosphere anywhere...it is like you so come expecting such wonderful things to happen and God never ever disappoints...I wish I could be there tonight...my life was changed at kids camp last year...I dont think I'll ever forget it...it touched me so much the way the workers surrounded me in prayer when I was seeking the baptisim of the Holy Spirit...I really dont think I'll ever forget the way God used those guys to touch my life and the way God touched my life...now I walk in the freedom of the Holy Spirit and the guidance...God is so good and he is a promise keeper...He is the Promise Keeper...I am so thankful that I am afforded the opportunity to be apart of camp...I can not wait for Sunday to get here when we get there and start setting up...and it all begins...wow...I am so excited...kids are my passion...I am excited to see kids learn about God and how much He loves them...I know it will impact the whole rest of their lives...knowing someone loves you like that...how could it not impact your life...I know that there is no better foundation to give a child than to teach them the love of Jesus and what it means to love Him back...Thank You my Lord Jesus for giving me that opportunity to spend the rest of my life telling children how much You love them and how they can love You in return...wow...I could not imagine a better way to serve in what little time we have on this earth...I love you Father...I am so thankful for the many opportunities you give me...I hope I never ever take it forgranted...Thank You for awesome children's Pastors -PT and Marcie-who teach me so much about sharing your love with children and who just teach me so much in all the different areas of my life...my life is changed because You brought them into my life and I am so thankful for them...well I guess I have gone on enough, I could give thanks all day...I need to get back to work and get all this stuff done...Much Love!

Friday, May 20, 2005

I believe in growing PAINS!!

Guess I never thought much about it before...hearing someone say someone is having growing pains always sound kind of ridiculous to me...but oh wow...that was a growing pain to realizing that...I am excited about growing...growing in God, growing up, growing in relationships...but sometimes it hurts more than expected...but I just know it's worth it...I feel so close to God at this point in my life...it is so incredible to feel this close to Him...the awesome thing about it though is that there is so much more...I can get even closer...I have not gotten here though with out many many many growing pains...some hurt so bad I wanted to run away and never come back...but I didnt and I am glad I didnt...I hope I never run from the hard...I have so much faith in my God right now...it's in that way that I feel I have taken the next step in my walk with God...having faith...I only hope I dont allow myslef to get knocked back down...I want to stay here and move up...I am so in love with my God...I absolutley can not imagine my life without Him...I cant imagine my life without the plans He has for me...how extremly sad that would be...it would just be so dark and miserable...funny how I lived there for 20 years...I dont know how I survived...I know I could never go back...I absolutely would not survive...I am so thankful for all my growth...and I know that it was not in vain...I know that every part of it taught me something...Romans 5:3-5 "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverane, character; and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." This is the verse I survive off of...God's promise that it is all for a reason...He is teaching, He is growing us up, and when we are standing beside Him on streets of gold we'll know just how worth it, it was...I can not wait to see what He has for me next...oh it's crazy I know...I know it wont be easy...it takes alot to get things through my think flesh...most things that come easy aren't what we want or need anyway...only we find that out when it is too late...God is worth fighting for, love is worth fighting for, relationships are worth fighting for, people are worth fighting for, I am worth fighting for, You are worth fighting for...Jesus already paid the price...so we can live, so we can love, so we can fight...did he die for nothing?

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Arg!! Dieting Stinks!

Hey guys...nothing real deep to say today...I started back on my diet yesterday...this week will be the hardest because I will have to get used to not eating as much and keeping up with everything I eat...fun stuff huh...NO!!! But I am rapidly growing out of my clothes and that is not a good thing!! Especially since camp is right around the corner and I have no idea what I am packing because I can only fit in my jeans. My shorts are so tight, lol. Anyway wish me luck...I am hoping that if I do well with the diet in two weeks I'll be able to fit in my shorts, I could be hoping for too much but we shall see. I did not get to exercise yesterday afterwork but I am shooting for today. We shall see. I definately need God to help me with my motivation and doing it!! I really hate having to always worry about my weight. I have had to deal with it since I was 13...so not fun because I was normal size up until then and then I was the fat kid. Since then I have had more weight that I needed!! Except when I was in high school, my friends and I got on an gym kick and we went to the gym alllllll the time and wow boy...that was the smallest I have been I was a size 8...I want to be a size 8 again...I think I would appreciate it much more this time. I know I did not appreciate it then at all...I still thought I was fat. I was crazy...do we ever get to the point were we are okay with our selves? I am not sure I have met anyone ever in my life that like everything about themselves. Crazy if you think about it...we are sort of trashing what God created...but I know mine is that I am too lazy to stay on a regular diet and exercise plan that is just healthy anyway. Pure laziness...but if you grow up know that exercise is just part of life to keep you healthy and grow up eating like we should then it is no big deal. That is how I want my kids to grow up. I want to get a handle on myself now so that the habits I pass on to my kids are good and they do not have this struggle like I do. I want healthy eating and exercise to be apart of their life so that it is not an issue at all. Well I guess I have rambled on about diet and exercise enough!! I need to get back to work and get lots done today!! Love you all bye!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

I need a break!

Do you ever just need a break from yourself??? Sounds crazy I know...that is where I am at...I keep looking at the world around me and thinking man I just need a break from all this...but really I need a break from me. The world around me is just as it always is...what has changed then...what makes me feel like I need to get away...ME...my attitude toward those things around me...my behavior...my responses to the things around me...my way of looking at the things around me...I have lost what gentleness I had...which was not alot to start with let me tell you...I feel the yuckiness creeping up on me...maybe it has already been here and I am just now seeing it...Thank you Father for letting me see it...help me to see clearer what in me has changed what in me has turned away from you...You are so faithful...and I am NOT...but you are there being good to me though I am not being faithful to you...why?...I dont think my human mind can ever understand that question...just help me to know that you are faithful even when I dont understand why...help me to recieve your love and forgiveness...without having to know why...Forgive me Father...I have turned away from you in many areas I am seeing...I know there are many more...Forgive me and help me turn back full force and learn from my mistakes and turn away from them...I dont just want to see I want to change...I know it gets better and better every time...I have seen more quickly this time havent I...that is You...that is Your work, not my own...Thank you Lord for the work you are doing in me...for the continual work you are always doing in me...Philippians 1:6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."...that is what you are doing in my life...You are so good to me Father...and I am so undeserving of Your goodness, love, and faithfullness...but you still give it freely anyway...Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"...I am not alone...Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us."...there is hope...Wow! what and AWESOME Father we have...what wonderful promises to fall back into...I am not hopeless...I am not hated...I am not rejected...I am not perfect...But I am FORGIVEN...I am LOVED...HE IS FAITHFUL...and for that I am thankful!!!...Lord, continue your work in me, continue to open my eyes to see where I have been wrong. Help me correct my wrongs and learn from them. Help me to recieve your forgiveness and love. Help me to continue to be humbled and broken. I am thankful Lord for your faithfulness, forgiveness, and love. You are the love of my life, you are the hope that I cling to. I pray I will continue to see. Help me to see and be open to correction. You are so gentle in your rebuking. Hebrews 12:9-10 "Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers diciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God diciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness." Thank you Father for your dicipline and for your Word that guides me! I love you. In Jesus name! Amen!

Friday, May 06, 2005

Beach Bound!!

Tomorrow I am headed to the beach for the day!! Hey if you wouldn't go down just for a day that's your decision...me I love it!! Becca and I used to go all the time on a whim just for the day! Back in the day when we were younger, had less bills, and she was unmarried!! She is taking for my birthday present...what a perfect gift!! We have some catching up to do and just to get to hang will be awesome!! Since before the wedding things have just been tooo busy so I am thankful for the opportunity to just hang out and chat and lay around on the beach. I am so excited!!! I can not wait to head out!! I hope it is fun, carefree, sunny, and peaceful!! I could so use a day like that away from Shelby County!! Do you ever just feel like the walls are caving in and you just want to get out and breath a while!! I get there from time to time and always crave the beach in those times!!! And poor Becky...she has been slammed too...with planning a beautiful wedding, building a beautiful house, and getting settled into marrige and being sick, her needs some down time too. I am thankful we will have the opportunity!! I just so want it to be relaxing and carefree and peaceful!! I am soo excited!! I can not wait!!! Fun in the sun here we come!!! Love you all!!

Monday, May 02, 2005

What a weekend!!

What a weekend!!! Friday night we had a KOR spend the night party with the girls because they won the contest!! We had eleven girls come. We had so much fun!!! We told jokes, did spontaneous human videos, sang, played "four square" with more than four people, dodge ball, bop-it, cards, hide and go seek(which was hilarious cause I scared the crud out of the kids), and watched movies and woke up in a storm!! I had the best time being with the girls and Marcia. I am so blessed to be able to love these kids and play with them and grow with them and so blessed to have such great Pastors!! I love all of our pastors and they all have such a passion for their place in ministry and God and such fire!! It is awesome!! I love my God and my church sooo much!! Anyway, it was a great spend the night party. We got up Saturday morning, well Marcia got the kids up and I couldn't quite make myself get up and so I layed there and Marcia and I just talked and talked, it was really so wonderful to me and then I finally got up and helped clean and get everything ready for service the next day. Then I went home to Wiggins' and had breakfast again after having alot of the mini white powered doughnuts-yeah I'm gonna loose weight like that I know-NOT! Then I went home to my apartment to meet my Mom before she left for Texas to visit family there and I so hate I had to miss that trip...then I preceeded to sleep alllllll day...I slept until 3:00 something or 4:00 something, I can't remember which!! I love to sleep!!! Then I went and ate dinner at Wiggins and then on to the couch to take another mini nap until about 9:00...then on to the church to get ready for BGMC service!! Then to Wal-Mart to get some stuff for service...while at Wal-Mart with Denise I saw lots of cute clothes I wanted to try on...well here's a news flash for all you late night Wal-Mart shoppers...dressing room closes at 10:00pm and they wont let you in at all! So I had a buggy full of clothes to try on and couldn't...I was not a happy camper. I took a few things home and only had to return one! Then home and Denise and I stayed up and talked for a while, Daniel came home from youth rally, he went on to bed, and eventually Denise and I drifted that way too. Sunday morning breakfast which is awesome and I love it...we had waffels and bacon YUM! On to church early to make sure I had everything for BGMC...Sunday school was good...I love our Sunday school class although we had alot of people out :(. Then to Children's Church to do BGMC service. It went okay, not quite satisfied but we made it through. I so want the kids to be excited about BGMC and giving, but they are not. It is hard to get them motivated!! I am trying all kinds of different things but I am not going to give up!! We came up with a great idea to raise money because we are not any where close to our goal for the year which is 1500.00 we are doing $10 dollar BGMC Sunday where the kids have two months to come up with a way to earn $10 dollars for BGMC + what's in their Buddy Barrel and they get some kind of something with the BGMC logo on it, we havent decided what we are getting yet. I hope they get excited and get with it!! I am going to send out some flyers like I did last year to get them motivated and remind them so they dont forget!! I hope that they like BGMC services, I try to make them fun and interesting. Pray for me!!!
Well after church Denise and I went shopping again and I got some really great stuff for my apartment and had fun doing it. I bought red curtains for my living room which I am totally excited about I think they will be perfect!!! I bought curtain rods, sheets and blankets for my guest room, and towel and cloth for my bathroom!! Denise was so great to shop with cause she helps me make up my mind when I cant and keeps me on the right track. It was alot of fun buying stuff for my apartment. It got me excited and pumped up! I am gearing up to have summer company!! My awesome friend Kellie is coming to stay with me on weekends while she works camp and I am soooooo excited!!!! Then we had Sunday night service which was wonderful!! I love Sunday night service...I love the worship and prayer and altar time!! Then Denise, Daniel, and I went to IHOP with the Jones'. It was fun for us all to be together and chat and fellowship! Not to mention the food was awesome...Pancakes and coffee!! YUM! Well I am exhausted this morning because I stayed up and made one of the beds in my guest room with my new sheets and blanket...I hope it is all going to look great!!! We shall see I have a lot of work to get done before Kellie comes to visit. Gotta get on the ball most definately!! Well I have taken alot of time to write this and I need to get to work!!