Well Thanksgiving is over...this year was good...not great like last year but good...my mom and I hung out Wednesday evening and put up my new prelit Christmas tree...it looks great...and it has become Tater's new toy...oh joy...lol...then on Thanksgiving Day we went to my oldest brother's(William) in Leeds...we went expecting the worst...but it was really nice...all the drinkers showed up shortly before we left so it was really okay...mom and I played with Jacob and had a good time...and we ate and left basically...for my family that's really the best you can hope for...there was no talk of what we are thankful for or really no talk at all...which I find so extremely sad...I would love to sit down with my family and have things in common...and have positive things to talk about...but that is not the case...I am just thankful to have had an uneventful day...my brother Glenn was missing and we missed him...he was unable to make it becuase he is in jail right now...then mom and I went home she to her house me to mine...then on I went to visit with more family...went to Wiggins' and ate left over's and visited a bit...watched some TV and then back home for bed...Friday was nice...I slept in and left about 1:30 to go hang out with mom and Jacob...we had fun playing...I left late that evening and went back home...I spent the rest of the evening reading by the Christmas tree...a book I have had for who knows how long that I had never read...very unusual for me...then Saturday I slept in and then was able to just relax most of the day and read...it was nice...then I went to Wiggins and we decorate the Christmas tree and listened to hilarious Christmas music...and then we had egg nog and toasted to our family...tradition...I love tradition...and Neesie and Dad bought me ornaments for the three years I have been in the family and that was so awesome and sweet and I loved the ornaments...one of them said LOVE on it and that is what Neesie calls me it is my nickname...it was great...then we watched movies allllll night...and for me it literally was all night...and we decided that Neesie no longer is allowed to pick out movies...lol...good family times...but we watched Stealth and it was awesome...but no good Christmas movies...sniff sniff...but it's ok there is still time to watch some good ones...ok so let me just say that the following two movies are terrible...Millions and The 12 Dogs of Christmas...yeah I had never heard of them either...there's a reason for that...lol...sorry Neesie your movie picking priveledges have been permantely revoked...lol...Sunday was good...play practice went better I only chopped up one song bad...and even it was a little better...I am so nervous about the play I can't wait for it to be over...I know the kids are going to do great it is me I am worried about...uuuuggghhhh...tightness in the stomach...lol...Sunday afternoon I walked on the treadmill about 10 mins...but hey that's better than nothing...ate yummy smoked turkey and leftovers...then napped while everyone watched Bewitched...which is a great movie and I love it...then back to play practice...which went good and was over in time for me to slip into the sanctuary for the ending of the GAS night youth service...I was able to worship and then pray over someone very precious...it was great...then on to home where I finished my book and crashed...to wake up to crazy Tater biting my face this morning...he drove me crazy...bless his sweet little heart...I sure do love my kitty...this week is going to be crazy busy...working on decorations for the play...and Tuesday night is prayer night...yes!!!...I can not wait...and Saturday is dress rehearsal...and a Christmas party...and Sunday is the play...and I know the kids are going to do fabulous!!!...well that has been my holiday in detail...ha ha...looking forward to getting my Christmas shopping done so I can breathe easy...well off I go back to work...Happy Holidays everyone...hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful and reminded you of all you have to be Thankful for...I am Thankful for new life and that Jesus is my new life!!! Keep up the good fight...it is worth it!!! I love you all so very much!!

So I feel stronger today than I have in a long time...it's because I have spent three nights deep in God's Word and in prayer for myself and others...it is so amazing what diving in can do...I have felt so weak, so lost, so tired, so aimless, lately...I hate it so much...I miss so much the place I was in with God...my rug was ripped out from under me or more likely I stepped off the edge of it...and I plumetted way way down...not a fun place to be...but last night while journaling and seeking I was refilled with His strength and some determination...I am thankful...very thankful...I need Him so much...so much...I just kept/keep seeking...kept/keep fighting...its all I know to do...I kept/keep repeating the things I know to be true no matter if I believed them at the time...it's all I could do...I knew I didnt want to stay where I was...I clawed my way back up...or rather I am clawing my way back up...Father help me...when I get tired lift me up...when I am weak make me strong...when I am disobediant, correct me...when I am lost in the dark, light my path and give me clarity...I love you with all my heart...and I do not want to live even one day without you...help me find my way back completely! Oh and War Eagle!!!

Hi from me today!

Wow it has been a while since I have posted...I really was in a place where I had no idea what to say...and actually I didnt feel much like writing...which is really odd for me cause I love to write...anyway...things have been different lately...I have definately been struggling...I am still struggling...but God is here with me...ALWAYS...and that is so comforting to me...I need Him so much...and He never lets me down...I have taken a break from teaching on Wednesday nights...there is just so much I am struggling with right now and with play practice and no Sunday night services in December...Wednesday nights will be the only nights I'll get a service...and my heart has so not been there on Wednesday nights for a while...and I know those girls deserve more than what I was giving...in fact I dont think I had given much for a while...more that I was taking with the girls...anyway...but we havent had a service since I came out of Stars...so I have high hopes for this Wednesday...it did feel good to not have that commitment last Wednesday...I was thankful...anyway I have also started Physical Therapy for my neck, back, and hips...I have high hopes for this as well...I really need this to be a permanent fix to my problems...today however I have taken none of the meds(muscle relaxers or pain) I really do not like being dependant on meds like that...not at all...so far today I am okay...there is pain but it is not unbearable...so I am just going to not take the meds...work is the same...still trucking along in invoicing and I have actually had more time for MIS lately so that has been good...I enjoy MIS alot sometimes...but in any case I am here biding my time before I move on to Ministry...but I am doing well here...much better actually...I am getting things done and that is good...I am working hard...well anyway I just wanted to post a quick update...God is good...All the time...All the time...God is good!!!!