Learning

What I just understood tonight while getting ready for church was this....

It is easy to be confident and sure of yourself when you are always surrounded by people who love you and accept you.

I just realized that it is not so easy to just be confident when you are always surrounded by new people and new things. It is then that you get your confidence not from those around you who are cheering you on constantly, but from searching out who you are in the Lord. It is a lot harder.

I have been struggling with walking into a room of strangers with as much confidence as I had back home. It is not that I am completely without confidence but there is a significant difference in my level of confidence these days. And what I realized tonight is that back home EVERYWHERE I went...church, work, anywhere really, even Walmart...I was surrounded by people who loved me and built me up and supported me, so I was constantly being filled with love and support and encouragement. But here I am surrounded by strangers, people who just don't really know me at all and are not vested in me.

Understanding this, I think will help me to run to my Father for any confidence that I need. It also makes me miss the wonderful people I was surrounded by back home. It also makes me eager to have those kinds of relationships and that kind of love and acceptance again. That only comes with time though and lots of time. It sure doesn't happen over night but neither does it happen in six months or a year. It takes a lot of time.

Relationships take time to build and cultivate. It absolutely takes a long time to be in a place where you are surrounded by people who love you and support you as well.

I am thankful to have gotten this understanding, it makes me feel less like there is something broken in me. I understand now that it is simply that things, the atmosphere, is different and it takes time to adjust to.

I am adjusting. Slowly.

I am learning to make friends very slowly because so easily you can move someone into the friend bucket only to be surprised when they are unable to fulfill that role and your heart gets broken. I am learning how to truly rely on the Lord in so many different ways that I never had to before.

I understand that this is how we learn...we experience different things...things that take us out of our comfort zones completely...like moving to a new state NINE hours away from all those loving supportive people, going back to school after eleven years, starting a new kind of job with new people on a completely new pay scale (one I have been on since I was EIGHTEEN years old), and starting over at a new church and slowly making this new place with all of these new things and new people your home, for at this point it is your HOME.

I am learning...it seems at a snail's pace...but learning all the same...and I know that I could not learn these things without having experienced them like this.

Thank You Father for all of the things that you are teaching us, thank You for this time of sowing for I know that one day we will indeed reap the benefits of our sowing!!! I love You and I trust YOU Father!!!

Weekly Recap with Photos (1/16-1/22)

This week I wanted to do a spin on the project 365 I see all over the blogsphere...so here goes...

Sunday: I totally meant to get a pic of Children's Church but I forgot :( Fail! We woke up too late to go to the 8:30 service but we made it to Children's Church and had a GREAT time!! We both weeped as we watched the kids pray for the kids around the world, it was very moving. After church we spent a relaxing day at home and rented some movies that evening. Hubby surprised me with my favorite treat from Mickey D's!!

Monday: MLK day so I was out of school and both Hubby and I were both off work so we both got to sleep in! I woke up first and spent some time in the Word (so thankful for this time as you just never know what each day holds...gotta be ready!!). Hubby got up later and called his mom who had a Dr. apt and we found out that the cancer has spread in her body again and she will begin Chemo again on Monday. It was a rough day for us. We cried and prayed a lot. We spent the afternoon doing some exchanging and shopping things we received for Christmas and then we lounged around the house taking it easy, and at the end of the day we enjoyed our new Foot Spa we bought earlier in the day with a gift card (we have been wanting one of these for a while)!!

Tuesday: Hubby worked 6-12 and I had classes until 2, came home spent some time praying and reading my bible while enjoying some yummy coffee, then I worked 5-10.

Wednesday: Hubby took me to class and hung out at the library until time for Chapel, while I was in my afternoon class Hubby grocery shopped, we came home made a lil lunch and then I headed off to work from 4-10.

Thursday: I took hubby to work since it was freezing and it had snowed (Hubby worked from 6-12), I came back home and slept until leaving for class at 9, it had snowed even more! All afternoon classes were cancelled because of the snow and temp dropping so I went to pick Hubby up from work and took him to donate plasma, afterward we came home (I had the night off of work) and spent the rest of the evening making dinner (Fajitas) and watching a movie (complete with popcorn)! As you can see from the pics below it was a cold snowy day!!

Friday: I had two classes in the morning then came home and studied a bit (I love Fridays because I get home by 10:45 am!!), Hubby had to work from 2-6, and then I worked from 4-10!


Saturday: I worked 9-12:30 and Hubby worked 12:00-4. After work we debated a while on what to do for dinner and while on the way to Ruby Tuesday we decided to go to Golden Corral instead. We CHEATED big time on our diets but enjoyed it very much!! We spent the rest of the evening on the sofa watching NCIS & HGTV (and me working on this post).

It has been quite a week! Full of prayer and trusting God!! Full of snow and learning to function in it!! Full of time at home which I am so thankful for!! Unfortunately NOT full of reading and school work...I have got to get on the ball and get motivated!!! Maybe tomorrow!!!

I really enjoyed taking pics each day and thinking about making this post. As you can tell some days I got carried away and some days it was an afterthought and I had to scramble to get a pic or pics for the day!! I plan to do this again for as long as I can keep it up!! I think it will be fun to look back on how we spent our days in this incredible time in our lives!!

What we know is GOD IS FAITHFUL AND TRUE!! We are trusting him completely and following His lead!!! We do not always understand things but we choose to trust our creator!!!

Snow

Today I...
*Walked on Fresh Powder

*Left footprints in the snow

*Drove on un-plowed roads...well

*Drove like a grandma

*Left tire tracks in the snow

*Donned my Rain/Snow Boots, Two pairs of pants, two shirts, two hoodies, and a hat

*Brushed off my Snow Boots before entering my home

*Recognized the beauty of God's creation covered in a soft blanket of pure white

Today I functioned in the Snow, saw it as beautiful and it wasn't so bad.

God is Good!!

I choose

TO BELIEVE IN YOU JESUS EVEN WHEN THINGS ARE HARD AND WE DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I CHOOSE

MORE OF YOU JESUS.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAITHFULNESS FATHER AND FOR YOUR LOVE AND FORGIVENESS AND FOR ALL YOU ARE AND ALL YOU DO!!

Random things...

I am...A STUDENT :) 

I think...ABOUT THE FUTURE
I know...MY GOD IS FAITHFUL
I want...TO GET BACK TO ME
I have...ALOT OF WORK TO DO
I wish...THINGS WERE A BIT EASIER SOMETIMES
I hate...THAT I LOSE MY WAY SO EASILY
I miss...MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY BACK HOME
I fear...GETTING LOST

I feel...HOPE
I hear...THE BOYS WATCHING THE FOOTBALL GAME
I smell...GRILLED BURGERS
I search...FOR MORE OF JESUS
I wonder...WHAT OUR FUTURE WILL BE LIKE
I regret...NOTHING…I’M LEARNING FROM THINGS INSTEAD
I love...LOVE
I care...ABOUT PEOPLE
I always...FORGET
I am not...FINISHED YET
I believe...IN JESUS
I dance...LIKE A FOOL AND LOVE IT
I sing...FOR MY LORD
I don't always...CONTAIN MY EMOTIONS
I write...RANDOMLY LATELY
I win...YES I DO WIN!
I lose...MY RIGHTS ON PURPOSE
I never...GIVE ENOUGH
I listen...LESS THAN I SHOULD
I can usually be found...STUDYING OR WORKING
I'm scared of...FAILING
I read...ALOT
I forget...ALOT
I just...LOVE LIFE
I am happy about...WHERE WE ARE & FOLLOWING GOD

2011

We have deemed 2011 as our "Year of Sowing"

On the way home from our visit to Alabama, Hubby and I had a wonderful conversation about what we want out of 2011.

We set goals and talked about where we are in life.

We understand where we are.

We are okay where we are.

Where are we???

We are poor college students on the search for the path God has for us. We are in the throngs of sowing the tough seeds that we know we will reap the benefits of later. We are unsure of exactly what the future holds but we KNOW that GOD HAS US SAFELY IN HIS ARMS.

You know it's is sometimes quite amazing to me that life can be so tough and so wonderful all at the same time.

2011...here we come...armed with Jesus, Our Heavenly Father, and the Holy Spirit...seeking HIS WILL & HIS WAY...here we come!

I love planning especially when my Hubby gets involved too!!

Our life together is precious and I have said it before and I will say it again prolly forever...I never could have imagine life this wonderful.

Perfect...No.

Wonderful...Yes.

The ONLY one who deserves credit, glory, and honor for that is my precious Heavenly Father!!!

I remember the waiting...the hurting...the wondering...the planning...the dreaming...the disappointments...the long nights...the lonely moments...the HOPE...the amazing INTIMATE TIME WITH MY SAVIOR...the praying...the seeking...the WAITING...and...EVERY SECOND OF IT WAS MORE THAN WORTH IT.

I am who I am now because of it...and we are who we are now because of God's plan and His hand in our relationship.

We want to strive all the days of our lives to keep Him at the center and forefront of our lives!! We want to strive to grow grow grow in Him!!! We want to be in the center of His will and on His path!!!

Oh what a journey!!

Oh what a year 2010 was!!

We look forward to what 2011 holds!! Pray for us as we sow...financially, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and wholly!!

Things I am Loving Lately

>Mobile websites
>The New Testament's practical application
>Getting to be home with family for a bit
>New Clothes
>That I am feeling very ready to loose weight again
>The sound of my precious hubby snoring next to me-seriously I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT
>My iPhone
>Getting my books for the semester early
>Sharing the driving with my hubby
>Growing
>That we are getting started in a new Children's Ministry
>That God did what was necessary to bring me to a place where I can finally open my heart up to our new church by changing the way it feels to be at our church at home
>Amazing Godly friends
>Future Girl's nights
>New worship music
>Sunshine
>Salad
>Fridays
>Houndstooth

2010 What a Year!

2010 – Wow what a year!! What a Wonderful, challenging, hard, journeyful year. I sure am glad that God has us in the palm of His hand and that He speaks to us in so many ways otherwise I believe I would just feel CRAZY!!

2010 brought a HUGE move…at the end of May we moved from Alabama to Missouri to go back to school. It was a huge move. It was a hard move. IT WAS THE RIGHT MOVE.

We spent the summer getting acclimated to the new city and finding jobs. Hubby got a job as a cook at a Bar B Que place called the Rib Crib. I eventually was offered a job at the Dress Barn which I promptly turned down as it did not feel right at all. I soon after got a job at Old Navy. Hubby got a second job as a cook at a pizza place on the other end of town called Old Chicago Pizza. He works so very hard for us!! He also started a third job doing what he did back home a much smaller scale (four stores).

We quickly found a church home at Prasie Assembly! We felt like home the first Sunday we visited and it was only the third church that we visited!! God answered our prayers to find a home church quickly!!! We are excited to being working in their Children’s Ministry next Sunday (January 9, 2011).

In August we both started back to school. I poured myself into studying and working. I literally studied and worked and slept. My poor hubby was very neglected during this time of adjustment. I soon learned better how to balance my time and gave my studies over to God in prayer. He absolutely honored every second I committed to study after that as well as every second I was able to spend with my wonderful supportive hubby. I learned a lot about balance during this first semester.

In October we celebrated our ONE YEAR Wedding Anniversary by going on a Couples Retreat with our new church. We had a great time with some great couples and were greatly challenged in a great way!!!

My brother began dating and unfortunately it was not a very pleasant experience as I feel I reached out to build relationship with his girlfriend and received very little response in return.

My parents came up for a visit just before Thanksgiving and it was so great to have family with us for the first time since May. We had a great time and just soaked up their presence.

Hubby’s job at the Rib Crib cut him down to one day a week shortly after our anniversary trip and then right after my parents visit Old Chicago let him go as well. But God was so very faithful and in a passing conversation with my boss at Old Navy I mentioned that my husband’s jobs had cut him back and Old Navy was our only income just about. She (who never really listens when others speak) heard what I said and replied that they needed a good worker for Shipment and within days Hubby was an official Old Navy employee. He quickly gained favor and they have currently offered him a key holder position. We are both happy at Old Navy and happy to be working together again.

We WORKED hard through Thanksgiving and was actually able to have Thanksgiving dinner with my brother Daniel while it Snowed for the first time!! It was a great day!!

Finals week came and I was stressed to the max trying to get all of my papers, projects, and exams completed. I finished the semester Strong with Four A’s and One C!!!! Incredible I tell ya, all GOD!!! He is so Faithful!!!

We WORKED hard through Christmas getting any extra hours possible in preparation of going home for Ten days at New Years!! We loved being home for the first time in EIGHT LONG LONG months!!! We just soaked up the LOVE like sponges to get us through until our next visit!!!

While home I received a great push from the Lord that I really needed. I went home to our home church expecting it to be comfortable, home, and a refuge. It was NONE of those things. Truthfully it was weird. It was great to see everyone and again soak up the love everyone passed out!!! But I realized that is no longer my home and that I no longer have a place there…I am not supposed to have a place there. It is not due to anyone making me feel like I do not have a place…it is simply that I am not supposed to have a place there any longer. I drove through my home town and loved it and missed it but realized very quickly that it is just not where we are supposed to be. We are supposed to be in Missouri, we are supposed to be at Praise Assembly.

I truly needed that push! I needed it to open my heart to Praise and allow it to become my home church. I had not allowed that at all. It is no accident that we came home when we did and that we will be starting in ministry at Praise NEXT SUNDAY and this Sunday I realized all of this. God is so very faithful and that doesn’t even cover half of it!!

In Sunday school we touched on a few things that I feel like spoke to us and the place we are in. Hubby has made the decision to sit this semester out and seek God to find out what he is supposed to be doing as he now realizes that teaching is not what he is supposed to be doing. I am BEYOND proud of my husband. For making it through a semester so well in the process of realizing his path was shifting. For making the hard decision to stop and seek the Lord for direction. I am just so very proud of Him every single day. He blows me away.

I am blown away that God placed such a man in my life and allows me to be apart of his journey and him apart of mine. I know that God has GREAT and INCREDIBLE things in store for the both of us!!

I cannot wait to see what 2011 holds for us and I cannot wait to see what our ministry looks like when we get to that point!!
I am so Thankful for a Faithful Heavenly Father that NEVER leaves us or forsakes us!!!

2010 was a year of Adventure and Change. Wonder what 2011 has in store for us!!

We have decided to adopt the motto that Pastor Tim presented to KOR this morning…

LOVE God

GROW in Christ

SERVE others

…we have many goals for the new year and we are adopting this as our motto as well and pray to live it our to the best of our abilities and ALWAYS WITH GOD’S HELP!! As we cannot do this without HIM!!