Sunday, August 23, 2015

We aren't the only ones...

In the recent changes in our life and ministry I have learned a new lesson.

I am not the only one who can affect my calling.

What I mean by that is that there are many involved in the call God places on my life, now this I have always understood, however what I have recently understood from the last ministry position we held is that others can affect or change that calling.

My husband and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that we were called to our last church by God and that we were supposed to be there to minister for years to come.

So to say that we were heartbroken when God released us from the church and led us to move on is an understatement. 

This was not how things were supposed to go. 

However God was not surprised by this turn of events and He is faithful in every way! He has walked with us and given us his hand to hold, his Word to breathe life back into us and his Wisdom to glorify Him even in a situation that is very difficult and very heart breaking.

We have peace that we did what He asked us to do, we went when he said go and we gave all we had to give and then we kept trying to give more and more and at every turn we were shut down. There was nothing WE could do about that. 

Others affected our calling and it is a new lesson for me that this is possoble yet I now know it to be true. 

When you have done all God has asked you to do, when you have given every songle thing you have to give, when you have believed, prayed and fasted for change then it is out of your hands. 

There was the possibility for the ending to be different, I believe God gave every chance. I know we were absolutely not perfect, God did not call us to be, but I know when did all He asked and we tried long after He was telling's ok, it's over, you are free, let go.

I believe we were released long before I was even willing to hear that, because this was not the call we heard and this was not the way it was supposed to go. But it's okay, God knows, God sees, and God is not surprised. 

He still has a calling for us and I know after some time of re-building we will minister again. 
He will call us, He will open a door and we will answer his call and we will have a vision of what it will look like (a limited vision as we are mere humans) and we will move forward fully and completely without reservation and holdong nothing back even with the new understanding that we may do all we are asked to do and we may give all we are called to give and we may do this right and good as much as human vessels can and in the end others may choose not to accept or allow these things. 
We will give everything even with the understanding that we are not the only ones who affect our calling and sometimes God shifts the tracks and leads us in a different direction because the direction we were called to go has been altered by others and is stealing the life and breath from us.

You see ultimately it is God who is in control and though we and others affect the call it is God who is leading the way and directing the path and shifting the tracks. He knows when it is time to change direction. 

Our track has been shifted, for a moment I considered just jumping off the train all together, I was tired, I couldn't understand why nothing was changing, I couldn't stop running into the stone wall over and over until the very life had been beaten out of me & God saw and said..ENOUGH, THAT IS ENOUGH IT IS TIME TO GO NOW IT IS TIME TO CHNAGE DIRECTION AND IT IS OKAY.

It took me a while to understand that I had not failed, I had given everything I had and that was what God asked and called me to do. The end results were not up to me. 

And ultimately it is God who leads us. 

None of this is easy and it certainly isn't they way we expected things to go, but we are not the only ones involved in our calling and now I understand that we aren't the only ones who affect that calling and that is okay because it is God who leads and he is with us and He Has A Purpose and Plan for us and A Future for us.

I trust you Lord even when I control nothing! It is okay.

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