Lord I fail you so often yet at every turn you are still there arms wide open.
This is one of the things I want people to know about my Heavenly Father. In a world so full of conditions and harsh judgments there is a God who is Judge but is loving and kind and wants the very best for his children and is always always waiting for them to come to Him so that he can LOVE and HOLD and HELP and COMFORT.
Why is it so hard for us to turn to him first. Why is it so easy for me to walk away. Why do I neglect Him over and over..and why and how can He still be there waiting for me with Absolute Unconditional Love?
It is hard for my human mind and heart to comprehend because I live in a world of conditional love and brokenness and sin. It is hard to fathom that there really is someone who will ALWAYS love you no matter what you do or don't do.
We humans certainly struggle to love that way and often times we remove our love based on some condition we have set for people and we have no idea that we are even doing it. When others do not perform the way we expect or demand. When others fail us. When people, human people, fail us we remove our love. It is common place in our world.
This is not how God loves. He loves without condition. He never leaves us or forsakes us.
I have experienced this over and over and over and over again.
How many of us would walk away if our spouse cheated? Yet how many times do I cheat on God?
How many of us would walk away if someone we loved stopped talking to us or spending time with us? Yet how often do I completely neglect God, I don't talk to him or spend time with him, yet He is still there waiting.
How many of us would stick around someone who constantly doubted what we can do? Yet how many times do I doubt what God says, promises even?
I didn't sit down today to write such an in your face post, in fact it was going in the opposite direction but here it is what God is speaking to my heart and it hurts to type it and it hurts to read it and it hurts to know that it is all true about me
Life gets busy. Life IS hard. Life HURTS. I am so exhausted and worn out from life that I don't shower some days, there are days I don't eat any real food until dinner time. I stay in the same pajamas many days in a row. I have bitterness and ugliness in my heart toward people who have hurt me. This is the ugly truth. This is what God wanted me to see this morning, this and...
He is screaming....no WHISPERING as only God can do...I AM HERE DAUGHTER, I AM RIGHT HERE, I AM WAITING FOR YOU TO RETURN TO ME, I AM WAITING TO HEAL YOU, I AM WAITING TO GIVE YOU REST, I AM HERE RIGHT HERE. HOW I LONG TO HOLD YOU AND ROCK YOU AND SOOTHE YOU. COME TO ME DAUGHTER AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST AND RESTORATION. I AM HERE, IT IS NOT TOO LATE, YOU HAVE NOT STRAYED TOO FAR.
As I sit here with the baby monitor turned up watching my baby boy sleep the image that pops in my head as God said those words to me is the middle of the night feedings when I am quietly rocking my baby boy and feeding him(soothing him), he's curled in my arms on my lap and he is peaceful, he knows that mama is there, he feels my arms around him, he's enjoying the warm milk from the bottle, he's wrapped up nice and warm, he feels my breath on his forehead and he knows that he is safe and home.
That is what God longs for us to feel. To allow ourselves to be wrapped up in His arms safe and home. With all the world still spinning around us in all of its darkness and strife.
"THERE IS A GOD WHO LOVES ME
WHO WRAPS ME IN HIS ARMS
THAT IS THE PLACE WHERE I'M CHANGE
AND THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
TAKE ME TO THAT PLACE, LORD
TO THE SECRET PLACE WHERE
I CAN BE WITH YOU
YOU CAN MAKE ME LIKE YOU
WRAP ME IN YOUR ARMS
WRAP ME IN YOUR ARMS
WRAP ME IN YOUR ARMS"
~ Michael Gungor
Thank you Lord for wrapping me up just now. I need you so much. I wanna stay wrapped in your arms all day everyday.