Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Cycling through

I find myself cycling through different levels of what I hope is healing from a major hurt. 

Currently I am in the Anger & Disgusted stage.

This is not the most pleasant place to be in. I do not enjoy it at all.

I can now say...I AM ANGRY! I am angry and hurt and disgusted with the way things went. I am just so angry!

I know there is ugliness in my heart and I hate that so very much. I have never felt disgusted like this before and I don't like it. And this makes me angry too, to find myself in this place.

I am just to the point of being able to say these things out loud and my hope is that this is progress of some kind. I don't really know because I have never walked here before.

I want to forgive, heal and move on. I want the ugliness that is in my heart to be gone.

I know that anger is a cover emotion for the hurt and disappointment I feel. 

Lord, I give my heart back to you, please help me process this and please clean my heart again! I need you. In Jesus' name, amen.

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