oh what a glorious day...

Ministry...my life...my passion...my desire...I love the work...I love the prayer...I love the results...I love being a part of it...oh what a glorious day it will be when I get there full-time...with my husband...Father, please bring that day soon...In Jesus name...Amen!

In the process of growth...

Waiting...waiting...waiting...I know that when the wait is over I will be able to look back and be proud beyond words...I know right now that it is worth it...that I am worth it...I know that I am ok...I am okay in which ever direction God takes me...I know the places I will not compromise...I know the things I need to see...I know what I am waiting for...GODS WILL...I know that even though there are things I can not control and can not do anything with...I am ok...and God sees me...He knows me...He understands me...wow...God understands me and what I am feeling...I know that I have not and will not manipulate and control to make my wants happen...but I will stand and watch Gods plan happen...because He knows what I need better than anyone else especially me...waiting...waiting to move...waiting to jump...waiting to fall...waiting for my my magnamous moments...waiting so intensly I could jump out of my skin...waiting...letting go...letting go...letting go of my wants and anticipating His...letting go of my thoughts to see what He wills to happen...letting go of my guesses...letting go of my heart...letting go of my dreams...letting go...letting go and letting God...holding on...holding on...holding on to His promises...holding on to His truths...holding on to His hand...holding on to His will...holding on to the growth in me...holding on to my convictions...holding on to me...the real me...holding on with all my might...walking away...letting go...giving it up...holding it out in an open palm...releasing it all...to HIM...to...MY ONE AND ONLY...never giving up...never compromising...never giving in...waiting...letting go...holding on...here am I...in the process of growth and commitment...here am I...here am I...continuing on...in love with my ONE AND ONLY!

A glimpse...

I a telling of a story of my last relationship today God allowed me to once again be reminded of what I was and what I have overcome...I needed an extra dose of that...a glimpse of the incredible ugliness that once was...and a glimpse of the beauty He has brought out...it is big...it is good...it is a miracle...it is alot...but there is more...the are big hurtles before me still...but in seeing the old hurtles I have cleared I know that I can clear the ones that are ever before me...nothing is too big for Him...I was so reminded that He is the one who changed me...NOT ME...I did nothing good...but He did...He transformed me...and I am thankful...I need the transformation to continue...in everyway and everyday...I want to be different...I want to be fully who He created me to be...I am striving for perfection...I am striving to be Christlike in EVERYWAY...I want to be a life giver and not a life taker...Father I need you...I thank you...I praise you...I worship you...I need you...I want you...Here I Am...CHANGE ME...I love you!

Where would I be...

Father where would I be without you...when I think about who I am now and the struggles I still contend with everyday...I can not even imagine how on earth I did it without you before...I cant imagine how others around me survived when those around me now struggle so much to survive me...Lord Jesus I do not want to be what I see...I want to be what you created...and You are my only way...so right now my Father with everything in me I cry out to you...dont let me stay in this place...dont let me plane off...I want to keep growing and climbing...and I want those around me to be protected and I want those who will be in my future to be protected...I do not want to be what I am and what I have been...Father hear my heart...hear my cry...You are the only Truth and Way...You are my EVERYTHING...I know that all I need is You...and I need and want you so badly to be in EVERYTHING...I want so badly to be who you created me to be in everyway...Father I need you...I need you everyday...thank you for the ways you surprise me...thank you for holding me up when I cant even hold myself up...thank you for carrying me when I can not even crawl...You are Faithful to me even when I am not faithful to you...You are my strength and my life force...I am so in love with you...thank you for who you are in me...than you for all you are doing...seen and unseen...thank you for walking me through this...thank you for not leaving me...thank you for your promises...thank you for your correction...thank you for your will...i love you my father...i love you my savior...i love you my breath...i love you my heart...i love you my love...i love you

So deep in

So deep in love
So deep in sorrow
So deep in joy
So deep in life
So deep in stress
So deep in hope
So deep in exhaustion
So deep in excitement
So deep in servanthood
So deep in learning
So deep in the journey
So deep in promises
So deep in truth
So deep in prayer
So deep in ministry
So deep in waiting
So deep in trust
So deep in growing

All at the same time...
So deep...