Friendship

In my life there are two different types of friends:

Those who need my strength

Those who are strong Godly women who are not afraid of my weaknesses

I have many of the first and few of the latter.

Those in the first category are seemingly drawn to me. Honestly I don’t mind, now that I understand. I used to think that those in the first category were friend friends and would pour my heart out to them only to get a blank stare or change of subject in return. I quickly learned the difference and now can adjust accordingly. It used to hurt terribly to find out that someone I thought was a friend really just was not able be my friend. Now I understand that some are just drawn to my strength and I believe that is something that God has trusted me with. I don’t want to take that for granted or ignore it. Honestly sometimes I would like to ignore it, but when I think about it, I believe it is something that God has trusted me with as a minister. And even though I am not yet a paid minister I am a minister. It’s why my heart beats. Therefore as a minister I don’t want to ignore something that God has trusted me with and when those that are drawn to me come along I want to pour out into them all I can. I am however, thankful for the ability to distinguish between the two so that I don’t find myself hanging out on a limb with no one who is able to pull be back or help me gently to the ground. It’s hard for both in that situation.

Therefore I am COMPLETELY thankful for the few friends that I have that fall into the second category. I prayed for just one friend like this and God sent me more than one. They are strong Godly women. Not strong all of the time but always able to see my need and not run from it. No they may not always have the right thing to say or do but at least they are not scared of my weakness. They challenge me to do better when I am being ridiculous; they challenge me to be better just by being who they are. They trust me with their weaknesses and rely on my strength as well. They have faith and challenge my faith when I am lacking. They allow me to challenge them when they need to be challenged. They pray with and for me and me for them. We share deep things of God and life and not so deep things. They seek after God and I am so thankful that He shares them with me. We don’t have to talk all the time but we are there when we are needed. Sometimes the conversations are just fun and not deep at all. They are easy and fun and we just get each other and give grace to each other and love each other. I know that having more than one friend like this is truly a blessing and I am truly Blessed to have them.

I know that lifelong friends don’t come along everyday and I am thankful for the ones that God has brought into my life. I would not be the same today without them. I am also thankful for those that God brings into my life for me to pour out into, what an honor and privilege it is to give whatever I can to those who need it. I hope that they are not the same because I was willing to be used by God to pour out into their lives.

Thank you Father for friends of all shapes and sizes, you have truly blessed me with some of the most incredible women of God, even from the beginning of my walk with you. From those who have walked with me through the toughest roads of my life and loved me all the way through the deepest healing and who still walk with me and support me now. To those who come and go as they need but still bless me along the way as well. Father you are the writer of these stories and I pray that You are glorified in each one. I pray that I am as giving of a friend to my friends as they are to me. I pray this with all my heart. In Jesus name. Amen.

Football…and other thoughts

So the other night I asked Mr. Wonderful what I should write about and he said…football.

So here is my blog about football.

I have a love hate relationship with football. I hate it really quickly when football season starts because I am absolutely saturated in it. But I love it because my husband LOVES it. He and his family eat sleep and breathe Alabama football as well as my brother.

I am actually excited about the upcoming football season simply because we are here in Missouri and my brother is here as well as another young man we love and all three of them are huge Alabama football fans. I am looking forwarding to having game day get togethers to watch the games together.

I could care less about football for the most part but I am excited about how much they love it and how excited they get about it and I love them and love when they are happy so football makes me happy.

I also hope that I will get some studying done during the games, if I can study through the screaming of the wild banshees.

I’m not sure that I have much more to say about football. Ha. That’s all I got!

Sorry honey, hope you are not too disappointed, I did try.

………..

Change…

I have gone through a MASSIVE amount of Change in the last couple years.

I went from being single for 8 years to dating.

I went from having a job of 9 years to being laid off for the first time in my life.

I went from dating to engaged.

I went from being the person who knew everything about a job/company to knowing absolutely nothing at a job.

I went from being sane to insane as we planned our wedding.

I went from being single to married.

I went from living alone to living with a man.

We went from having two cars to having one car.

I went from not having bangs to having bangs. Puke.

We went from living in Alabama to living in Missouri.

We went from being close to family and friends to being more than eight hours away from family and friends.

We went from having comfortable cushy jobs to having not so cushy jobs.

We went from having a church family to having to find a new church family.

We went from one bathroom to two bathrooms.

We went from having a regular sleep patter to having no regular sleep pattern.

And soon we will go from no studying to LOTS of studying.

A lot of changes. A lot of big ole changes.

I think that I have always loved the idea of change but when it gets right down to it some of the changes have been very hard and have taken a lot of adjustments. I am not very good within the changes, I don’t balance well and I become very emotional.

However…and this is a big however…this is THE however…

HOWEVER, GOD IS FAITHFUL! SO FAITHFUL.

During each change He provided exactly what we needed. He provided the support, the understanding, the wisdom, the strength, the friendship, the funding and even many surprises along the way, wonderful surprises. We have learned to turn to Him, to trust Him, to seek Him, to rely on Him. We have learned that even though it is not easy we will have what we need for each transition in our lives. We have learned that just because we are in God’s will doesn’t mean that things will be perfect and easy. God never promises that things will be easy, but He does promise that He will provide; and He absolutely does!

In fact God has not only met our needs but He has exceeded our needs and surprised us with many sweet blessings along the way. Abundantly above and beyond what we could think or imagine. He has truly blown us away.

Though there have been many tough moments the blessings and learnings and the incredible goodness and faithfulness of God has made it all worth it.

We look forward to what is to come. We truly cannot even imagine what is to come and what God has in store. We simply trust our God and are excited to see what HE has in store for us. Can’t wait!

Ephesians 3:20

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us.

A time to praise

Been a little down so instead of staying there I think it’s time to jump out of the pit with a little Praise:

Father I praise you for the beautiful sunshine that creates this reviving natural light that pours through my glass doors.

Father I praise you for your amazing Son who came to earth and felt what we feel and then went through hell on earth to pave the way for my relationship with you.

Father I praise you for my husband’s strong arms that feel so amazing when they are wrapped around me and for the comfort they bring.

Father I praise you for the whispers I hear when I begin to worry or become anxious, your voice in my ears telling me that everything is going to be alright and you have it all under control.

Father I praise you that even though sometimes I expect living in your will to be perfect and easy your word reminds me that it is not easy but you are with me providing all the tools we need to complete the work.

Father I praise you for being our provider and for the knowledge that we do not have to carry that full weight upon our shoulders.

Father I praise you for the love of our families and for how powerful and healing that love is.

Father I praise you for the wind and when it blows across my skin I always think of you and your faithfulness and love and presence.

Father I praise you for strength and that when we are weak your strength has the chance to be felt and seen and put to work.

Father I praise you for a hard work husband who is willing to do whatever it takes to take care of us even if he doesn’t it’s hard.

Father I praise you for this life that you have given that I readily give back to you and desire to use to serve and glorify you.

Father I praise you for who you are.

Psalm 42:9-11 (Msg)

“Sometimes I ask God, my rock-solid God,

“Why did you let me down?

Why am I walking around in tears,

Harassed by enemies?”

They’re out for the kill, these

Tormentors with their obscenities,

Taunting day after day,

“Where is this God of yours?”

Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?

Why are you crying the blues?

Fix my eyes on God –

Soon I’ll be praising again

He puts a smile on my face.

He is my God.”

Why am I down in the dumps? I should fix my eyes on God and soon I’ll be praising again, HE puts a smile on my face. HE IS MY GOD!

More Randoms

Mr. Wonderful and I have not slept well since our move up north. I can remember back home that I could not wait for bed time. I had to make myself stay up. The bed seemed so much more comfortable and inviting then too. I know our sleep schedule is WAY off from what it was at home when we worked regular 8-5 jobs. Maybe that is the disconnect with our sleep and bed. We have added a foam egg crate thing hoping to make the bed more comfortable. I just don’t look forward to sleep like I did back home and as I type this I really think it has a lot to do with our sleep schedules. So moving on from that. Ha.

There are parts of our lives here that I really love and parts that I am still adjusting to.

I love that Mr. Wonderful and I have to depend on each other now and we are learning more and more how to do that and do it well.

I love that not only are we drawing closer to each other, even more importantly than that in the last few weeks we really have been drawing so much closer to God. I still want more, to be even closer to God than we are and I am looking forward to that and we are praying together for that.

I love that I don’t work a rigid 8-5 job and that I have a lot more down time now. I also at times am very uncomfortable with the amount of down time that we have. I was so used to always having something to do or someone to see or a commitment to keep that at times it is really hard to not have that and it creates a bit of loneliness within me. I am however, looking forward to the new friends we will make and getting more plugged into our new church. We are not planning to get as involved as we were as we feel this is a time in our lives to allow God to pour out and for us to soak in rather than to turn around and continually pour back out.

There are moments that I miss our friends and families so much that it takes my breath away and I realize again how hard this amount of distance really is. Then I also realize that God gave this amount of distance for that very reason so that headstrong lil ole me would be somewhat forced within this transition to stick it out and be stretched the way He intended me to be stretched.

I love that the job I am starting is so stress free compared to the jobs I have had over the past ten years working in the corporate world. I am truly excited to get going in the new job and excel in a very different kind of job that I think will be very fun!

Our neighborhood is really very quiet, maybe a bit too quiet. We miss having neighbors to chat with and go hang out with.

We watch a lot of HGTV, we really love it. We have love the house hunting shows and talk about what we like in houses and try to guess which ones we would choose and then try to guess which house the couple on tv will choose. Mr. Wonderful usually always get’s it right. But we have learned a bit about ourselves and each other and what we both would like in our future house:

Mr. Wonderful would like: A large porch, A large updated kitchen, Hardwood floors, open floor plan, large yard to work in, a pool, a large jet tub, a large shower, and a space for his man cave.

I would like: Lots of windows to let in natural light, A window seat, Carpeting, open floor plan, a large jet tub and large shower with two shower heads, a fireplace.

Some things we are together on and something things we are not. We have also learned from watching the shows that we will have to compromise with each other and let go of some things as it is highly unlikely that we will get everything we want in one house. Mr. Wonderful can’t wait until we are able to purchase our first house. I am a lot more apprehensive about it. I believe that is because he had a lot more stability growing up and lived in the same house for many many years and his dad is in that same house still. I never stayed in the same place long so the thought is a little different for me. Also the thought of spending that much money just really turns my stomach. I mean I nearly got sick when I bought our laptop. We don’t know when we will actually get to purchase our first home as we need to get through school and find stable jobs that we know are going to be permanent. I look forward to that and wonder where God will lead us in that. It is so fun though to dream about our future lives but I have to be careful that my dreams do not turn into plans in my head as I have learned that God rarely follows my plans. It is fun though to think about family moments with children and what our home may look like and to think of my job as a Children’s Pastor and his job as a teacher and what our lives may be like in the future. Then I also have to be careful to allow myself to live in the now instead of always waiting for what lies ahead. I feel like the last couple of years I have lived in the I can’t wait for what is next mode and I need to learn to live in the now and enjoy it.

God is most certainly preparing us for our lives ahead and I am so very very excited about what HE has in store for us. I know His plan is so much better than any I could think or dream up and I want us to seek Him with everything we have now so that it is second nature to us to always seek Him in such a way. I want us to get so close to Him now that it is easier to know His will and find His way for our lives and I know that doing that will eliminate a lot of hardships and heartaches. Though I know that no matter what there will be hardships and heartache I would like to eliminate as much of the unnecessary hardships and only have to go through those that are necessary for our growth and learning.

I am so very thankful to serve such a Loving and Faithful God and I want to get even closer to Him and love Him more and grow grow grow in Him. I want our lives to be completely filled with His Holy Spirit and I know that only comes when we truly seek Him with all of our hearts and beings. When we are willing to give up other things just to be with Him and seek Him and grow in Him. I know that is the path that we are on and I am very excited about it. I know that our family will be one that seeks the Lord and serves the Lord and loves the Lord and I am beyond excited about that. I know it will take work to get there though and I want to do the work.

Father, I love you and want more of you. I want to be closer to You and be more like you and grow more in you. I want Mr. Wonderful and I both to know you more and more and more. Give us a Holy Hunger for you and your word and your spirit and your will and your love. Help us to seek you with all of our hearts and to find you and to understand what you are teaching us and what you have for us. Help us to always know your will for our lives and what directions to go in. Help us to seek you for the answers that we need and to know exactly where you want us. Help us to really open up to you and to get all that you have for us. Give us vision for our future together and what you have in store for our future lives. Help us to do know the things that we need to do so that our children will have truly blessed lives full of YOU, love, encouragement, honor, discipline, hope, heart, and wholeness. I give all these hopes and desires to you. In Jesus name. Amen.

Things I do not miss about the corporate world:

Business Casual

Office politics

Drama

Stuffiness

Ringing phones

Cattiness

“Invisible” lines of separation

Fakeness

It feels quite refreshing after ten years in the corporate world to be free from it. To look forward to going to work because there is NO stress and it is fun.

I do somewhat feel like a more of a child but I am coming to terms with that even at 29. I am getting the opportunity to go back and live college. It will be different than it would have been right out of high school and I am completely okay with that. I believe I will love the experience more being in the place in life that I am in. But I am ever so thankful for getting this moment in life to back up and get to do this. God is so faithful and he restores and redeems our pasts. I am absolutely looking forward to have a stresless job and going back to school. I know that school will not be stressless for me but at least work will be for a change. It should be a nice balance. Fun and hard work.

Thankful that my Heavenly Father opened these doors and that my wonderful husband is right here with me and that we have families and friends back home that support us completely. We certainly are blessed.

Here’s to whatever lays ahead for us. Father have YOUR way!

Random Thoughts

>The wind is my favorite thing God created in nature. It always reminds me of the Creator. It’s magical and beautiful and mysterious.

>I really love natural light. I love to have natural light pouring into my lil home. It makes me feel more alive.

>I love fall and spring because it brings families out into their yards and parks to enjoy God’s creation. They are both refreshing after such extreme seasons.

>I love sitting out here on my lil balcony thinking about nature and the God who created it while the wind blows across my face and cools my skin. I love the sound of the wind in the trees and the birds singing their songs.

>I love knowing that our lil apartment complex has its own grounds crew. I know we will appreciate that this winter when for the first time in our lives we learn to function in massive amounts of snow. I dread it but know it will be a new experience and one to add to a list of things done to tell our kids about someday.

>I love that Mr. Wonderful and I are making memories to tell our children about one day. I love that we both knew that this new journey we are on is what we are supposed to be doing and we did not hesitate to follow God when He called. We couldn’t wait to get started and experience the new things that He has for us.

>I love that within a month this place has begun to feel a little like home for us. We really enjoy the city and truly can’t wait to see what God has in store.

>I’m thankful to be in relationship with a Heavenly Father that cares so deeply for me and takes care of not only the big things but also cares about the little things in our lives. A Heavenly Father that surprises us on a regular basis and loves showing us His faithfulness.

>I’m thankful that we have families and friends who support us in our new journey even though it was hard for them to see us move so far away. I am thankful for those who pray for us and believe in us and believe that we hear from God and support us completely. I am thankful for their love and support everyday!

>I am thankful that I can write blog posts sitting on my lil balcony using word so that I can use cute fonts and simply copy and paste the posts into my blog when I do have access to internet.

>I look forward to getting internet at home again one day. I miss it.

>I am thankful for this last day of sweet relaxation before I start back to work. I am thankful to have been offered a job and for the opportunity to meet new people and make friends here in the north.

>I am thankful to have a wonderful husband who is so willing to work two jobs to make sure that we are okay. And I am thankful for the God that opened the doors for our jobs and who is leading us and guiding us every step of the way.

>I look forward to: fall, not winter, seeing our loved ones again, meeting new people, starting Sunday School this Sunday, my hubby getting home from work, getting motivated again to lose weight, staying motivated to lose weight, to seeing the edited photos from our beautiful, perfect, wedding day, to seeing further what God has in store for us, to living in each moment and enjoying what it brings, to the soccer game next month for hubby’s birthday, to exploring the cities around us when we have the chance, to starting school and learning as much as I can, and to living a life loving and serving an incredible God and loving on His children.

The end for now.