Thursday, September 08, 2005

Stress and Bad Days

ok so I have been having numerous bad days...uuuuugggghhhh...I hate it...and I know I could choose differently but its like I cant somehow...which is stupid because I have Christ living in me...there is nothing I cant do...work has been horrible...and so stressful...and I have been so incredibly busy after work too...it makes it hard to keep a good attitude...but I need to do better...and its like what I hate the most is my family...namely Neesie gets the brunt of it...its because I am comfortable with her being myself and letting my true self show...but I dont want to be ugly to her just because I am in a bad mood...cause that is when I am most choleric...most of the time I have good control over that...but let me get in a bad mood and especially one not under God...and whoa...that is what I was yesterday...bless her heart...she just wanted to make me feel better...but in a mood like I was in I dont tolerate that well...and bless her heart...I feel bad...so this is a public apology...I am sorry for my cruddy mood and that I allowed noone to be able to cheer me up...thanks for trying Neesie and Jen...I am sorry Neesie that my ugly choleric side came out and that you were affected by it...I am sorry God for the attitude of my heart...and the words that came out of my mouth...I am asking you all to forgive me...I could give excuse after excuse but the bottom line is I need to do better...I need to do alot better...I truly disagree right now with what my booklet said about me secretly enjoying being busy...maybe a little busy but not this busy I need down time...aaaahhhh...I have no idea how I am going to get all the things done I need to get done before we leave on Saturday...I know it will get done somehow but I dont know how I am going to keep my sanity through it...but I will do that too...okay so this post is crazy...I am trying really hard to be in a good mood and to be my normal self...but I am still struggling a bit with that...and that funny thing is...is that I know that I need to rise above all this...like it says in Jeremiah 12:5..."If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses?"...I sure am letting this world wear me out...and I dont like that at all...stress stinks...but its just stress...and on the whole what does it matter...my God loves me...He uses me to love others...and I am okay...and today I am going to try to keep that in my head...wish me luck..lol...I'll need it...Help me Father...I need you!!!

5 comments:

jen said...

I'm sorry you have been having bad days and I don't think you owe me any kind of apology!! You are letting God show you where you need to change and are working on it. The whole problem is seeing there is a problem. I know it's hard but you are doing great!! I love you Tab and I will always be there for you, you will never drive me away. (you couldn't if you tried!) Sorry- you are stuck with me!

Tabbie:) said...

uuuggghhh...stuck with you...oh man...what have i gotten myself into...no no no...jk...and you may change your mind...lol...*wink wink...remember what you heard last night...lol...thanks for the encouragement and love...you are right i am working...I hope I continue to see and work...God willing!!! I love you too my Jenagin friend and I am so thankful for you and that you stand and support me...even when I am yuck like last night...lol...you are the bestest!!! I love you!!!

CarrieQ-B said...

i hope the tacos made you happy! lol! sorry for my angry outbursts at the tv last night. it did help to release some stress!! i love you lots tabbie! hope your day today is going good!!

Becky said...

Ok so I am posting a comment. This is a post for you. Just for tabbie!!! JK
Seriously, today posts was great! At least you recognize your bad days and how you react and can sit back at laugh at them. Thats a positive thing. At least you take it out on Denice and not me! HA! I couldn't resist. inside joke really. lol! But I am sure you are no worse than any of the rest of us. Thats what family/friends are for. We take your crap, but thanks for trying to do better on all our parts. : ) Dont make me through you down the stairs again ok? Cause I will beat you up if need be to shape you back up. But I really hope your day goes better. I do feel your pain. Yesterday was small annoying things. Today its been a tough one. I have not wanted to talk or be around anyone...just alone. Which you know is not me, lol. But you arent alone , I feel your pain today! At least you get to put your mind and time on ministry this weekend. Thatll be awesome! Can;t wait to hear. love ya!

Tabbie:) said...

Aawww awesome I love comments...Carrie the tacos were great...and you cracked me up with your anger at the TV...it allowed me to be quiet and not seem weird...ha...lol...no you were fine...and we totally missed the part where they got to meet JLo...hope your day is good...love ya...Becky you stinkin crack me up...wow...inside jokes are great...glad they are in the past...I may need you to whip me back in shape...ha...wow...I was so messed up...makes me feel a bit better cause I am not quite that messed up anymore...phew...I am thankful...sorry your day is tough too...I'll be glad when the weekend gets here...that's for sure...hope your day gets better love ya!!!...man I really like comments...lol!! Thanks guys...love you all!!!