God doesn't want you looking at what's wrong with you or what's right with you. He wants you looking at HIM. ~Joyce Meyers
Uuummm...Does Joyce Meyers know me or something?
I am most definately my own worst enemy. I beat myself up more than anyone else. When God begins to deal with me about something that needs to be changed, oh boy! I dive into a deep pit of despair, self destruction, hoplesness, self accusation, it's just brutal. I begin to think I am worthless and no amount of convincing will stop this thinking. Then I become hopeless that I will ever be any better and again no amount of convincing will stop this. Finally I hit bottom, in complete darkness almost ready to give up indeed on the very brink of givig up. I literally want to give up and run away. I get to a point where it's a choice in that moment to give up and run away, far far away, or stay and fight it out and allow Jesus to rescue me and be my victory. In that moment of choice it is physically impossible for me to quit. I know it is the Holy Spirit in me that will not allow me to quit. I can literally have my hand on the door knob, keys in hand, ready to run, but it is like there is a steel wall that will not allow me to move. I can't do it. "Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in this world." 1 John 4:4 I choose the Lord and I WILL NOT BE MOVED. Jesus is my life. For the rest of my life.
Gals, God is Good At All Times.
This process used to last for weeks, sometimes even months. I am very thankful that now it only lasts for a few days some times only one or two. I have gotten better at forgiving myself, and turning my trust to God and not myself. I cannot be better on my own but God can change me. That is why this quote from Joyce Meyers hit me so hard.
What if I take my eyes off me completely and simply focus on God. Even when God says hey you need to work on this. Okay God what can You do, Who are you...why think that way?...Because God lives in me and what He can do, I can do, if I ALLOW HIM.
Please Father let me grab hold of this concept and hold on to it forever. Let gone be the days that I rely on myself and mess it all up and waste time in the pit of despair when I simply need to Trust you, trust the YOU that is IN me. You are in me, I have invited you Jesus to live in my heart FOREVER. Father help me today to allow the YOU in me to RULE. There are always things I need to work on Father and there always will be. Change is quite the good thing for it means we are not staying the same ole stagnant humans that our enemy wants us to be, but wea are MOVING FORWARD & UPWARD. Father today I give you me and all my issues, all my shortcomings, all my sins, all my ugliness, all my weaknesses. I trust You, I trust the You in me. I love you with all of my heart Father and I desire to glorify You. I have already failed in that area today with ugly words that have come out of my mouth. I ask you to forgive me Father and truly help me to turn from it and walk in YOUR direction instead. Father I need you everyday. Thank You for who You are and for who You are In me. Thank You for your forgiveness and for Your faithfulness to me when I never deserve it. You are my LOVING Heavenly Father. (pssttt God I am so thankful for the Heavenly part it's what sweeps me away.) In Jesus' Precious name I pray. AMEN.