The Here and Now...

The here and now…

I have been reminded quite recently to…”Accept the limitations of living one day at a time.” To live fully in the here and now.

I admit that I struggle with this as I am a planner and I feel the need to plan ahead…WAY ahead! Yet this reminder is perfect and just what I needed to hear and just what I need to do.

I have 4 weeks of college left and with that realization come many assignments; some that literally materialize overnight and with that also comes the desire to plan what comes next and what to do next! This desire is fed by a beautiful summer laid out before me, a beautiful summer of nothing but ministry for the very first time in my life, my focus will be ALL MINISTRY.

No secular job to juggle, not schoolwork to juggle, just a solid focus on how to minister to these precious kiddos that have been placed under my shepherd staff. God is good! God is faithful! God is BIG!

Yet I realize that I need to live in today, not live in graduation day – it’s not here yet, not live in the summer – it’s not here yet, but live fully in today.

Today I am at school, I get to learn more about God’s word and what it means and how to interpret it, I get to study for an exam that I don’t have to stress about. I get to think about a term paper that is due soon. And I get to just be present in the lives of the people around me. I get to worship my King in chapel and I get to enjoy His beautiful creation on THIS fine spring day.

This day, today, THE HERE AND THE NOW!

Father,

Thank You for the reminders that came through two of the most wonderful people you could have ever shared with me. Thank you that they speak their heart and that they love me enough to remind me or share with me. Thank you for your great love and kindness. Thank you for drawing me ever closer to you. Thank you for the work you have done, are doing, and will do in my life! I am truly in awe of You my Faithful Heavenly Daddy! Thank you so so much for loving me so!

Where we are.

Well it’s all coming to an end.


My unbelievable college career is nearing its end and I am truly blown away.

God was absolutely faithful every step of the way.

Faithful above and beyond.

Need and wants were met and things that we never even thought of where given.

I am amazed.

So much has changed and yet what remains is HIS GREAT LOVE!



Two years ago we set out to follow God as He called us to go back to school.

Two years ago we were just a newly wed couple following our God into the dreams He placed in our hearts.

And in one month I will walk across the platform with a degree in Children’s Ministry.

Me. Lil ole Me. The little girl who beat all odds…who was saved from alcoholism, abuse, a life of complete and total brokenness and darkness will have completed yet another bigger than life dream. While in the meantime God is bringing to realization yet other bigger than life dreams as well.



I write today from my office at Praise Assembly where I am the Children’s Pastor to approximately 70 little hearts. What!?! Yes, you read that right…I read that right…God opened a door and we dared to follow yet again. A dream bigger than life. An opportunity that scared us to death. We chose to go beyond the fear and trust God and yet again He has been faithful ABOVE AND BEYOND anything that we could have imagined.



He alone is bringing about success and He alone is the reason I am graduating and living my dream. Living exactly in the calling that He gave. Doing the very thing that I was CREATED and BORN to do.



Unbelievable, yet oh so amazing! We are loving it and we are growing and we are being blessed beyond anything we could have ever imagined. God has provided us with blessings and wisdom and amazing people who help and support us and just so so so much more.



So here we are. Who knew that this is where we would be. Who knew that though this journey has not been an easy one that we would be so blown away and so….well there just are NO words! Simply here we are with Him and loving it.



I am excited to be finishing school in a month and to finally have the opportunity to focus fully on ministry for the very first time in my life. I am excited that Marshall will graduate from CBC with a degree in Church Leadership in a year from now. I am excited about the place God has brought us and all that He has done in us and all of the people He has blessed us with. Leaders, supporters, great friends and peers. I am just truly blown away.



Truly blown away. He always blows me away.



He loves us, Oh how He loves us.

Planning meeting...on staff...what! Wow!

Had a great planning meeting with the church staff today.
I cannot believe that I am on staff at a church!
I am truly living my dream! Wow!
Another Promise from my Heavenly Father come true! Boy what a feeling that is! I'm blown away yet again!
My God is good & Faithful all of the time!

I Desire Wisdom.

James 1:5 – “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

*Wisdom = the ability to make wise decisions in difficult circumstances.

*1) Practical: The wisdom from God relates to life even during the most trying times.

*2) Divine: God’s wisdom goes beyond common sense. It begins with respect for God, leads to living by God’s direction, and results in the ability to tell right from wrong.

*3) Christlike: Asking for wisdom is ultimately asking to be like Christ.


Solomon’s Wisdom:

1 Kings 1:5-10 – “At Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon during the night in a dream, and God said, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.” Solomon answered, “You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and up right in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day. “Now, O Lord my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?” The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this.”

*When given a chance to have anything in the world, Solomon asked for wisdom – “a discerning heart” – in order to lead well and make right decisions.

*We can ask God for this same wisdom

*We should not ask God to do for us what he wants to do through us.

*Instead we should ask God to give us the wisdom to know what to do and the courage to follow through on it.

New Year!

We spent the first day of this new year pouring our hearts out in our very first children's church service as the new children's pastors at Praise Assembly.

Our first pastor job.

It was a great first day of the new year!

We are excited to see what God has in store for this new year.

We seek to honor Him and bring Him glory in all we do!

We welcome 2012 as 2011 was a very difficult year for us!

Welcome 2012!!
Happy New Year!

Thankful 2011

Tis the season for Thankfulness...

Hubby and I had a great Thanksgiving an uneventful Black Friday work experience...and we have much to be thankful for.  We ate and slept and worked.  I made chess pie (twice because I burned the first one - ugh) and two casseroles my classic green bean casserole and my Father-in-law's hashbrown casserole! We ordered turkey and dressing from Cracker Barrel to save time and energy.  It was a yummy feast!!

There is stress and there is extreme busyness, and there are things we wish were very different, but more than that...there is love, our Savior, blessings, God's will, and very exciting things happening.

In a few short weeks the semester will be over leaving only one semester left before I graduate from Bible College, and we are fairly confident that we are about to embark on a new journey as well.  That announcement will come as soon as it is official...and no I am not pregnant ;-)!

We have family who love us and friends who love us and we have these amazing people lifting us up in prayer and that is one of the most incredible blessings of all.

So Happy season of Thankfulness!! We here in the Trotter household are very Thankful and Excited about what's ahead!!

Father I surrender ALL to you and I TRUST YOU!!!  Help us to walk whatever journey you put before us!  We love you and TRUST you!

Screaaammmm!!!

Oh my goodness sometimes I just wanna scream so bad!!
Stress Stress & more Stress

Church Stress...some exciting news coming soon here!

School Stress...end of the semester will be here all too soon.

Family  Stress...teenagers, drama, holidays

I don't even know what would help at this point.

I am at a breaking point.  I am on the edge!!  I feel like I am falling off the edge!!!

However I am Thankful for this journey and all the stresses that it sometimes brings! There are many good things...in fact there are more good things that bad!!

The difference it makes...

Tonight I am absolutely astounded at the difference it makes in young ladies to be consistently told of their worth from a young age and that it is not found in others.

Absolutely astounded.

Parents, Leaders, Friends...please understand that it makes such a difference to talk to the young ladies in your life and continually tell them that they have worth and that it is not found in others!  Their worth is found in Jesus alone.

In one instance my heart hurts more than I have words to even express.  I am praying and continually pouring in the affirmations as I have opportunity, but it is somewhat new information for this young lady and she has yet to see it lived out before her in the people that she has been surrounded by most in her life.  Sad, hard, and it is so very frustrating because I SEE HER WORTH and she does not understand it at all.

I the other instance my heart is filled with such pride that I can't express fully.  I have seen this young lady reach out for the wisdom of those around her, take it into serious and heartfelt consideration, and then act on what she has learned from that wisdom.  I have seen her stand up for herself because she understands and knows that she is worth more and that she does not have to settle for what she can have right now because she is desperate to have that kind of acceptance.  It is not about acceptance from a guy or people for her.

Two very different young ladies.  Two very different circumstances growing up.  Two very different results.

My heart truly breaks and soars tonight.  I am thankful to have the opportunity to pour into both of these young ladies the wisdom that others have poured into me.  I am thankful for a God who never gives up on His daughters & who gives opportunities for them to hear their worth.

Father please let your wisdom and love permeate these precious hearts of your daughters.  Please bring understanding of worth and your purpose and plan into their lives and hearts.  Father I know that what you can do in the life of a daughter who has never heard of their worth or never been taught where to find their worth, You have worked that miracle in my life and I ask you to work that miracle in this life of this young lady who is headed down the wrong path quickly.  I pray for opportunities to speak into her life and that you would soften her heart to hear and understand what You have for her. I know you have a purpose and a plan for her life.  I ask you to protect her and change her heart and I pray that you would pour out your wisdom into her life as you have mine and beyond.  I thank you Father for the wisdom you poured into my life and I thank you for the privilege to share that wisdom with others.  In Jesus name. Amen

HIS Protection

I am recognizing God's hand of protection in my life right now, where as I could not recognize it previously.  I am thankful.  I know that He knows so much better than me the things that are best and that I do not always get to understand the whys usually.  He, however, has a plan for everything and as I continue to learn to trust Him he continues to be faithful even when I do not understand. What a great great Father!!  


In a particular situation where I have given my heart in new ways that I never expected to give, God is protecting me and up until now I did not understand certain things.  I see just a bit more clearly and God get's the glory for that.


God gets the glory for allowing me to give my heart in such a way, God gets the glory for His protection in my life, God gets the glory for the bit of understanding that my heart experienced these past few days, God gets ALL of the Glory!!

TWO YEARS!! :-D

Happy Two Year Anniversary to my Hubby!!

I thought I would take you all on a quick two year journey!! Enjoy!!

Wedding Day! October 17th 2009.

 Mr. & Mrs. Marshall Trotter!!

 We moved to Missouri

 Big Move

 Studying Begins

 Here to Study about God

 FIRST Anniversary

 We celebrated ONE Year

We jumped into Ministry:

Bobby Rockit

 Girls lost

 Marshall the Martian

 Boys lost

 Studying!!

 We have LOVED each other through it all!!

I am beyond blessed to have this man as my Husband!!  I give all Glory to God for this journey we are on!! God is so faithful and has brought us through a lot already!!  We are trusting HIM completely for our future!! These past two years have been adventurous and wonderful, scary and hard, but I would not trade this life or this journey with my God and my Husband for anything!!!  I am more in love with both my God and my Husband than ever before!! God is Good!!

Happy Anniversary to my amazing husband!!  You still make me feel like I felt in this picture!!!  I love you with all of my heart and I believe in you like I have never believed in anyone before!!  I am honored to share this journey with you!! You make my live wonderful!! You are truly a wonderful Hubby!! I am so thankful for you everyday!!  Thank You Heavenly Father for sharing this man with me!!  I pray that we honor YOU in all we do!! Continue to lead us and guide us on this journey of love!!  We trust YOU and we will follow You!!  

Who you are is wonderful..

This statement helped change my life.

Now I tell others so that they can experience that same kind of change in their life.

This is real and true.  The bible says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  

Does God make mistakes?  No.  Then believing less about ourselves is telling God that He is a liar and that what He made is not good.  Being Less Than This is turning your back on God and what He created you to be.  Ouch Right!!  

This is an Ouch WE NEED!!  Who are we to tell our Creator that we are less than this or not enough of that or not good enough here or there.  Who are we to give up and throw our hands in the air and decide we just can't because we are not good enough.

I believe that I am Wonderful because someone told me this consistently and would not let me believe otherwise. 

Now I long to challenge others in that very same way.

I believe that WE ARE ALL fearfully and wonderfully made.  Not just a few of us or those that we look at and think that they are so much better than us here or there or I'm not outgoing like her, or pretty like her, or I can't sing like her, or I don't parent like her.  YOU ARE RIGHT YOU AREN'T AND YOU DON'T - BECAUSE YOU WERE NOT MADE TO BE HER!  

YOU WERE MADE TO BE YOU.  WONDERFUL YOU.  

WHO YOU ARE IS WONDERFUL.

Who YOU are is wonderful.

Who you are IS wonderful.

Who you are is WONDERFUL.

WHO YOU ARE IS WONDERFUL.

Listen to me ladies.  Comparing is dangerous and it robs us of what we have to offer and share with the world.  It also robs those around us of what we have to offer and share, of what they could learn from us.  

This is so strong on my heart today.  Men and Women alike...WHO YOU ARE IS WONDERFUL.

I tell my husband this all of the time.  I believe this about him to my core.  I will tell my children this all of the time because I want them to reach their full potential.  I tell this to those that I minister to as well because this was told to me and IT CHANGED MY LIFE.  Because I began to believe it and live it.  Not that I live it every single day, but I live it more now than I did before and I hope to live it more tomorrow than I did yesterday.

Readers I will leave you with this...

WHO YOU ARE IS WONDERFUL.

Psalm 139:14

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.

Favs for October

October is my very favorite month...so here are some of my favs about my fav month!

<3 It's the beginning of Fall

<3 Weather is perfect

<3 It's our anniversary month

<3 Pumpkins

<3 Beautiful trees

<3 Bike riding

<3 Fall scented candles

<3 Oranges, reds, & golds

<3 Hot Tea

<3 Long sleeves

<3 Hoodies

<3 Leaves on the ground

<3 Doors & Windows open

<3 Pumpkin Spice coffees

<3 Pumpkin cupcakes

<3 Chili

<3 Alabama Football

<3 Fall festivals

<3 Leggins

<3 Clogs

<3 Scarves

<3 Jackets

<3 Hot Apple Cider

<3 Pumpkins

<3 Decorating Pumpkins

<3 Nostalgia

<3 Getting pumped up for Christmas

<3 & BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH (Ladies get checked!! I want LESS cancer and MORE birthdays!!) 

Update

We have been enjoying a really lovely Fall!! We have had a month of BEAUTIFUL fall weather and have had our door and window open almost everyday!!!

We bought bikes last week and have gone one two rides and have loved it!! I love being outside with my Hubby!!

I dropped Physical Science & Lab after much praying and fretting and have picked up Church Ed. to independent study!

Looks like I may not be returning to Old Navy to work for the Holidays.  I hope that I can just keep plugging away at school during break and finish strong.

Next month is going to be an extremely busy month for school, I need to stay busy and organized!

My husband is amazing.

My family are amazing and wonderfully loving.

Lil Ronni is doing well, her freshman year is going much better than expected.  I know God is among us and working in this.  Mr. Ronnie had been diagnosed with prostate cancer and will be having surgery soon.  I know this will work out!

I still do not understand the timing of all of this, with us being so far away, but I know that God has a plan and a purpose for everything and I am simply trusting in Him and not trying to understand it all because I know that I cannot.

I have been so unbearably grumpy and moody lately and I hate it.  I do not want to be this moody person!!  I just want to be joyful and have my emotions well balanced.

Work is going well for Hubby and he is plugging away at school!!  I think we are just both so ready to be done with this schooling part of life.  He has been studying for so much longer than me so I know he must be ready to be done.  But we are so excited about what we are learning in this time in life and I know God will get us through and we will have more of the skills and knowledge we will need to minister full-time for HIM.

Church is going great!!  Learning and experiencing SO much!!!

I was nominated to be a part of a mentoring group called Seasons and I am excited to be mentored and be surrounded my incredible peers the next two semesters!!  God is faithful!!

That is all for now as I am going to go cook din din for Hubby and me!!  

Life these days.

School:
    My second week of my last semester is almost over!!  This is going to be a long but rewarding semester!!  I am exhausted but excited about what I get to learn and that graduation is getting closer and closer everyday.  I am loving Chapel and just diving into worship these days!  I have three classes with my brother and I love love love that.  He is growing up and fast and I am loving our time here together preparing for ministry!!!  I love that kid!


    Hubby finished his first term with an 'A'!!!  I am so very very proud of him. His next term is going to be a tough one but I know that he is going to do wonderful!!!  I love this man, he is just amazing and I am happy to share life with him!!!




Church:
     I am done with my informal internship and had a great summer doing it over the summer.  I am still heavily involved but won't be going to the church twice a week to meet.  Right now I am getting to work really hard training up the crew members and just praying for lots and lots of wisdom there!!  I am also getting to co-teach the Girl's Only club.  So excited about this adventure and being used by God to pour into these precious precious girl's lives!!!




Friends:
     Before leaving Alabama I began praying that God would provide friends.  It has been a long lonely road here for me, until recently that is.  I have connected with a wonderful lady and I know she is an answer to prayer for me.  I am still being cautious because I have just fooled myself too many times, but I believe that this lovely lady (Stacy is her name) is going to be one of those real friends.  She has three beautiful daughters and a very kind husband.  I am thankful for the time that I get to spend with her.  This week we took a new step and began praying for each other, I love that in friendship.  I fully believe that friends should sharpen each other and challenge each other.  So I am still walking cautious but I just have  a feeling about this one.  I hope my feeling is right!!!  


Those are the goings on here lately.  I am about to go do a little shopping for myself and then grocery shopping while hubby is at work and then come home and cook some din din and study study study!!! 

Birthday...

And the day dawns BEAUTIFUL

And at first I can't understand why it's not cloudy, rainy, and gloomy...

So that my emotions my tears and the clouds in my heart and eyes blend into the background...

And then I remember...

A fact that I have hated since June 19^th...

Life moves on.

Life moves on...

In spite of You being gone.

In spite of Our lives changing FOREVER.

In spite of The Heartache we ALL feel.

Life moves on...

The sun comes out to push away the moon as a new day dawns...

The days pass by over and over again...

The hurt remains...Missing You remains...but time passes...

Days turn to weeks & weeks to months...

Until...

It is Your birthday

And once again I just want time to stop for a moment...

Stop so that we can remember vividly...

Stop so that we can feel you close...

Stop so that no more time passes making it more and more real...

Stop so that maybe just maybe we can All wake up from this bad dream...

But...

It isn't a dream.

And time doesn't Stop.

Yet...

We do remember vividly.

We do feel you close.

We are okay.

But...

We miss You.

We want to celebrate You.

We want Another Birthday.

We want this to be different.

Tonight Your birthday will have passed but the moon will come back out to remind us that...

YOU LOVE(D) US TO THE MOON AND BACK......................

Happy Birthday my sweet Mom-in-law. Miss You and Love YOU to the moon and back.

Heavy heart...

Tonight I come with mixed emotions.

Today I spent all day at the church celebrating incredible young ladies in Girl's Ministries and their amazing accomplishments. It was a beautiful day of celebrating and loving on amazing girls!!! I am very proud of them and very honored to be joining them on a peace of their life's journey.

Yet my heart is very heavy this evening as well. As tomorrow our girl (my lil sister in law) begins her first day of high school. She does so without her mama. She'll wake up without her mom's help, get ready, leave, experience her first day of high school, the high school her mom graduated from, and she'll come home...and her mama won't be sitting on the porch waiting for her when she gets off the bus and she won't get to sit and share her day with her mom. My heart is breaking all over again. I hurts so bad for her. I want so badly to take the pain away or at least to ease it some. But truly there is no way to do that. All I can do right now is just lift her before the Lord and beg Him to hold her so tight and protect her and love her and lead her and guide her and bring her whatever comfort and peace He can. This hurts and I hate it so much. Another first without my precious mother in law...but worse than that, another first without her mama. Another first that my Hubby and his brother and her daddy and all our family do everything they possibly can to ease the pain we all feel so deeply.

Mama Darlene, we miss you so much. I know that you are with us and watching over us. I know how incredibly proud you would be of all of us...YOUR First Born as he started Bible College two weeks ago, Your Second Born as he adopted our niece, YOUR Baby Girl as she begins high school, even me as I begin my second year of Bible College. You loved us all so very much and not having you here and not having your love and support so deeply impacts our lives. Oh how we miss you so so much.

Father I give it all to you. Everything that I cannot fix and all the pain that I cannot take away. All the moments that re-break my heart and deeply move me to seek you with all of my heart on behalf of those I love with the heart YOU have given me to love them with. Oh Father we need you. Father we need you so much and we want you in our lives. Father I ask you for protection, YOUR Supernatural protection, for you grace, mercy, favor, and PEACE, YOUR comfort, understanding, and for You to reveal your purpose and calling for our lives. Oh Father I love you so much and I know you love us all with and everlasting love and I am so Thankful and grateful for that love!!! I am so Thankful to YOU for our families, they are truly precious and dear to us. Thank YOU for their love and support. Thank YOU mostly for YOUR love and support for YOUR plan and purpose. In Jesus name. Amen.

Precious Messages...

This morning I woke early...around Five am.

I began thinking about my precious mother in law. We just miss her so so much.

I looked the facebook messages that we shared. I had forgotten just how much she really loved me. As I read through those messages I was once again blessed entirely. I felt connected to her once again.

I remembered when she shared with me the song she wanted to dance to with Hubby at the reception. She called herself my “New Mom”. Which told me that she just pulled me right into the family with no hesitation.

I remembered how strong and encouraging she was when the cancer came back and how glad she was that Seth had me to help him through. I was glad too. She would tell me what she needed me to pray for most and I would pray specifically for those things.

I sent her a pink fluffy house coat and some bible verses and she thanked me for them and said she was going to take the bible verses to every treatment. It was nice to get to do something to bless her.

She encouraged me one time when I was having a rough time...”Take it from me LIFE is to short to dwell on bad thoughts So have faith in the good ones and in the Lord God Almighty and the bad ones don't seem so bad Love you MOM.” Yes this was her encouragement to me in the middle of her battling cancer. She was so amazing.

I was reminded when she took me to the Mardi Gras parade. The first one I had ever been too. It was cold but she took us anyway and made sure we had a great time. She was precious. I miss her.

She checked on me after I passed out while running and told me not take care of myself and not to push it.

When work got really really bad she said...”it will all come together , stressing will not do u no good, you are a good person and things will come to u in 3 fold, faith and prayer my daughter is what it takes ..love you”

On our first anniversary she said...”. I know this year has really passed us by...But it seems that you have been apart of us for a looooong time...I am so very thankful for you and all you do for my son... I cant imagine life with out you...I love you...MOM” And I couldn't imagine my life without her, but now we have to and it makes me so sad.

I took so much for granted even when she got sick and we tried so hard not to take anything for granted. I miss her so much. It was wonderful to read through the messages and remember the connection that we did have. It felt so good to feel connected to her again.

Thank you Father for letting me find these messages. I cherish them.

I am planning to print out these messages so that I can read them and remember her and feel connected with her and share her love with our children one day.

Date Day :-)

Hubby and I had a Date Day today. I just LOVE making memories with this man!! Hubby planned it on his own and kept it all a surprise...I love when he does that!! Today was perfect timing for several reasons...

1. I have been moody lately and have ruined our last two attempts at having some fun together.

2. Hubby starts his first day of class today and I start back in three weeks.

3. As a stay at home wife I don't get out of the house quite as much as I used to so it was nice just to be out.

Enjoy some pictures from our day.

It was a very fun day and now Hubby is in his first class at Bible College!! I am beyond excited and happy!! It feels like a beautiful beginning and like my dreams are coming true before my eyes!

Fight like a Girl...Fight like my Mother in law

She was strength like I had never known
She was hope like I had never known
She was beauty like I had never known
She was acceptance
She was love
She was so incredible



We miss her so so so much!! She has changed my life forever!!



Wish I had more time with her. To learn from her, get to know her heart, thank her for how she loved and accepted me, for so freely sharing her son with me.
She lives on in our hearts FOREVER.

We love YOU to the moon and back.

Love story...

Our Love Story...