Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Being Crushed!

I am taking some time to update because if I keep waiting it wont happen, lol...

Camp...as most know I have been at kids camp for the past two weeks...words can not describe...God's presence is so strong there...watching God move in the children was more than incredible...I know lives were changed...I know chains were broken and hearts were filled...I know that kids experienced His love for them, some for the very first time...to be able to be a part of some so incredible is beyond words for me...I did however come to the realization that not all the adults were there at the camp because they have the passion for kids like I do...I know I was niave for thinking that...PT asked me to be dean of the lodges and through that I learned that alot of the adults are not there for the children...wow...it was a huge understanding for me and one that made me mad almost every day...but I think I did well with the adults and with my attitude for the most part...I know my eyes have been opened so much by it and I learned from it and grew out of it...it was a good experience for me definately...God not only worked incredibly in the children these past two weeks but He worked heavily on me...CRUSHING is what I would call it...I had several different people pray some of the same things over me...things I needed to hear and know...it was incredible...I am thankful I was able to be open to what God wanted to do...I remember one night I just lay down on my face in the floor and I cried off 20 years of hurt, rejection and people walking out on me...it was a cleansing that I am sure God has been trying to do for a long long time now...I needed it...God spoke so much into my life...He spoke to me about my husband, patience, and ministry...I am very excited about the things I fought through and allowed Him to do in me...and I am very excited about the things He promised me...I know that somethings are about to take place and I am beside myself with excitement...I know that I for the first time in my life I desire soley what He wants for me...I have total faith that He has what is best and I hope I can stand here forever...I do not want to settle and I do not want to rush...I am perfectly content to wait on Him...I have such peace right now about my future...the things that were prayed over me aligned with what I have been feeling and it is so amazing when that happens...and it was more than one person who prayed it over me...I mean I have no doubts and I know that the things God told me will come...I am just super excited...I did not want to come back from camp...well let me rephrase that...I wanted to come home and be at my house and in my bed and in my space...my clean space...but I did not want to come back to a secular job...but at the same time I know God has me here for this time for a reason and I am okay here until God brings about the fulltime ministry He has planned for my life...oh wow...I am just so ready and excited...well that is what has been going on in me in a nut shell...seriously a nut shell...thank you to all my wonderful family and friends who pray for me and who love me and who listen to me...you will never know how much you mean to me...I thank God for you all!! Let me tell you if you do not have a relationship with the creator...YOU ARE MISSING OUT...dont miss out any longer...JESUS IS ONLY A PRAYER AWAY...peace out!!

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