REAL...REAL DEEP...DIFFERENT

REAL...REAL DEEP...DIFFERENT

I FEEL LIKE THIS WEEK GOD AND I HAVE GONE DEEPER. I TRULY LOVE FEELING CLOSE TO THE LORD. IT'S STILL DIFFERENT THAN IT WAS BEFORE, I BELIEVE IT IS DIFFERENT IN A GOOD WAY. I DO NOT THINK I WILL GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS BEFORE. I THINK I AM AT A NEW LEVEL WITH THE LORD. OLD WAYS ARE NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE. SMALL AMOUNTS OF TIME WITH THE LORD ARE NOT GOING TO SUFFICE ANY LONGER. THE TIME HAS COME TO BE DEEP WITH THE LORD AND TO STEP UP TO THIS NEW LEVEL HE IS CALLING ME TO.

I HAVE A CHOICE. I CAN CHOOSE TO STAY WHERE I WAS - WHICH IN ALL REALITY WAS NOT A BAD PLACE TO BE. OR, I CAN CHOOSE TO RISE TO THIS NEW LEVEL WITH THE LORD AND GAIN ALL HE HAS FOR ME THERE.

KNOW WHAT? NO WAY AM I GOING TO CHOOSE TO STAY WHERE I WAS. I HAVE NEVER BEEN ONE TO TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT WITH GOD. I CHOOSE TO RISE TO THIS NEW LEVEL WITH GOD. I CHOOSE DEEP TIMES WITH HIM, I CHOOSE TIME IN HIS WORD AND IN HIS PRESENCE, I CHOOSE TIMES TO WORSHIP HIM OUTSIDE OF WEDNESDAY AND SUNDAY AT CHURCH, I CHOOSE TO DO THE WORK TO HAVE A DEEP RELATIONSHIP WITH MY LORD AND SAVIOR.

IT'S FUNNY SOMETIMES THE THINGS YOU EXPECT TO GET FROM THE LORD VERSUS THE THINGS YOU ACTUALLY DO GET FROM THE LORD. GOD KNOWS WHAT WE NEED AND WHERE WE ARE EVEN WHEN WE DONT KNOW WHERE WE ARE. THAT WAS MY QUESTION LAST WEEK...WHERE AM I...EVEN WHEN I COULD NOT FIND MYSELF, MY FATHER KNEW EXACTLY WHERE I WAS AND EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. I WAS NEVER LOST TO HIM.

THINGS RARELY EVER TURN OUT LIKE I EXPECT THEM TO. I AM OKAY WITH THAT, IT IS DIFFICULT, ESPECIALLY SINCE I AM A PLANNER, BUT I AM OKAY WITH IT. AND YES I DO TRY TO PLAN GOD AND HIS RESPONSES, LOL. SILLY SILLY ME.

THESE 4.5 DAYS HAVE NOT REVEALED THE THINGS I THOUGHT THEY WOULD. GOD HAS REVEALED TO ME THE THINGS I NEEDED NOT THE THINGS I EXPECTED. I KNOW THERE IS STILL MORE TO COME IN FOLLOWING 4.5 DAYS. I SIMPLY WANT TO HEAR THE THINGS GOD WANTS TO SHARE WITH ME AND DO THE THINGS HE WANTS ME TO DO.

KIDS CRUSADE UPDATE:
LAST NIGHT WENT REALLY GOOD. THE SERVICE FLOWED SO WELL EXCEPT FOR ONE PART, BUT GOD WAS IN CONTROL THE WHOLE TIME. ALTAR TIME WAS GREAT GOD MOVED AND SPOKE AND I KNOW LIVES WERE CHANGED AND TOUCHED!! WE HAD A GREAT TIME WITH THE KIDS AND WITH GOD LAST NIGHT!!!! I AM EXPECTING EVEN GREATER THINGS TONIGHT. HERE'S WHAT'S COOL. EVEN WE CAN NOT GET IN THE WAY OF GOD - THANK YOU LORD FOR THAT!!!

FATHER, I OPEN MYSELF UP TO YOU TODAY COMPLETELY. I AM YOURS. YOUR WILL BE DONE. I AM LISTENING INTENTLY TO YOU. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE THINGS YOU WANT TO REVEAL. I LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART FATHER. YOU ARE WORTHY OF ALL PRAISE AND HONOR AND GLORY. LET ME SHINE YOUR LIGHT AND POUR OUT YOUR LOVE TODAY. IN JESUS PRECIOUS NAME I PRAY. AMEN.

Monday =

Monday = came too quickly.
Night #1 of Kids Crusade = Awesome.
Night #2 of Kids Crusade = tonight.
Excitement level = 110.
Being part of the team again = priceless.
Prayer need = High.
Attitude = Humbled.

How do weekends go so quickly?

Friday night Mr. Wonderful and I went to see Hancock at the Drive In. And YES we actually went there to watch the movie, all of the conotations of the Drive In do not apply. LOL. Hancock was a good movie, there was some language in it though. By the way what's up with the Rating system. I do not think I would let my 13 year old watch a PG-13 movie. A true sign of the direction of this lost world. But Hancock was good minus the language which seemed to be primarily at the beginning of the movie. I then proceeded to beat Mr. Wonderful at Phase Ten but he then turned around and beat me. So the night ended in a tie. Which I am okay with, at least I beat him once!!! At this point I am in the lead on winning games, which I only care about because he is so competitive and I think its funny that I win and he HATES is so much.

Mr. Wonderful & Me.

Saturday I got to sleep in and then hang out with my Neesie some. Which was very nice and fun. We went to a graduation party and had a good time visiting there before driving back in the rain on one of the most dangerous roads ever. But we made it safely and had a good time. Then Mr. Wonderful and I attended a wedding, it was a very nice, elegant, and sweet wedding. You know I am always on the look out for ideas and that's the best place to get them!!! The guys had on Chocolate Suits so I got to see those first hand. I didn't hate them or love them. And then we headed to the lake to visit with the family some more. Aunt Jenny was up to pick up cousin Elizabeth so it was good to get to visit and chat. We had fun horse playing for a while and freezing under a blanket. We giggled alot! What a treasure Family is!!!

Horse Play.

Sunday!! Who doesn't love Sundays???? I LOVE them!! SS was good, I am getting really excited about Slack Attack and burning our books!! I am praying the kids are diving deep with this one, it's a GREAT book!!! Children's Church was so fun too!!! We are teaching about Esau and Jacob. We talked about Jacob wrestling with God and how we should HOLD on to God and NEVER let go. Altar time was good and I so loved getting to get down there with the kids and pray for them and love on them!!! Then off to Wetumpka for a Kids Crusade!!! My first one of the summer!! Oh how I have MISSED it!!! It was hard not knowing the routine of setting up, but we got it done and the service went Great. We had a little mishap with one song and I had to sing it without the music. But hey, I will do anything for Jesus, even if I sound bad!! It was fun and a good service and what was so incredible was seeing all the churches workers and parents pray for those kids in the altars!!! Wonderful!!! I got to see my bro Jamie too and that was definately an added bonus!!! Then screamo on the way home - compliments of Scotty J. How is that Christian music - I have no idea. LOL.


Readers...God is faithful, I have so much love and praise in my heart today. I love that even when things are a little rough, I know God is good and I love him all the more. God is up to something, always, we simply have to be willing to allow. I want to be so completely open to God and what He desires for me EVERYDAY. Today!!! I want the DEEP, not the surface or easy. I want the MORE.


Father, I open my whole self up to YOU today. I have so much gratitude and love and praise in my heart and it is ALL for YOU. There is noone like YOU!!! Have your way in me completely today. I am open to you Lord. Use me, guide me, fill me. In Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen.

Silly Day

I officially deem this day...SILLY DAY!

Why not have a silly day? We all need a silly day!!! I need a silly day!!!

I am feeling better I have really been diving in with God, drawing NEAR to Him. I am ready to learn what He has for me to learn. I am ready to do the work! I think sometimes just deciding that even though things are so hard that I am just going to dig my heels in makes all the difference!! So here I am digging my heels in!!!

So on silly day I decided to come up with some silly facts and phrases from the week...so here goes...

1) I love grape Kool-Aid
2) Oh my stinky jeans
3) Eeeeww that bug tasted so bad - twice
4) Watch out for the Crane
5) I hope this fasting thing isn't contagious
6) Smacky mouth
7) That's okay I don't like my butt to be touched either
8) Hey don't suck

Ok you all...Happy Friday...Have a GREAT weekend!!!!

Where Am I?

Where Am I?

That is the question swirling around and around in me right now!

I can't seem to shake this strangeness that I feel. It's almost an emptiness or a lonliness or a lostness that has no grounds. I am a Daughter of the King of Kings there is no emptiness, lonliness , or lostness in Christ.

So Where Am I? What's happening?

I can't seem to reach God, hear, touch, or feel Him. The hearing being the most important in that.

But here's what I know:
God will never leave me or forsake me - HE IS HERE
I am His Daughter
He still hears my prayers and those who are praying for me
There is something to learn in this
Often after a Mountain Top there is a Valley and this too shall pass
I am Loved
I am not Lost, Lonley, or Empty.
When I don't know what to pray the Spirit can pray through me

That's somewhat "where I am" today.

On a lighter note...my family is coming over for dinner tonight...that's always fun...I like to have them over to my lil apt for dinner. I am excited!!

Strange Day

I woke up feeling strange all over. Physically, Mentally, Spiritually, Emotionally, Behaviorally. Strange.

Yep it's definately a Strange day today...I know why...I must remedy this soon...I had a plan to do so then allowed something to divert the plan...I NEED TIME WITH MY HEAVENLY FATHER...I need to listen and hear His voice...I have been talking to Him but not listening...NOT GOOD...no wonder I have this uneasy feeling all over today...No, get thee behind me satan...I belong to the Lord and He is the Author of my life...I rebuke guilt In the Mighty name of Jesus...I rebuke distraction in the Mighty name of Jesus...I rebuke compromise in the Mighty name of Jesus...I rebuke you satan in the Mighty name of Jesus...I believe in Jesus, I belong to Jesus, and I trust in HIM alone. In Jesus Mighty Name.

Crazy things going on all around, and I feel so lost in it all so confused. But God is not the author of confusion, nope not at all. So I need to draw closer so that I know where He wants me to stand in it all. So that I stay on the RIGHT path, so that I stay in HIS will.

On a slightly lighter note...I had No Bake Cheesecake last night...MY FAVOIRITE!

I love Wednesdays! All Day long I get to look forward to church. I am looking forward to it tonight more than usual. I am ready to see people, to Worship, to be used, to work, to support. I am ready to be there!!! I love love love church and the kids and youth and adults that I get to see and love on and be loved on by!!!

Work: In one word, edgy. I have decided that I am simply going to be as quiet as possible and as encouraging and helpful as possible. I do not want to get caught up in the attacking and gossiping and negative stuff that people are resorting to. Nope I want to stay positive, joyful, and do my job. The only actions that I can control are MY OWN. In any situation the ONLY actions I can control are MY OWN. That's my focus, to be mindful of MY OWN actions and do my very best to be the best me I can be.

Ok sort of a heavy post today. Tis just the way the day is though!

Father, I love you with all my heart. I thank you for this day and I give it to you, I give myself to you today. Use me Father, lead me, shine through me. I am Your willing vessel. I choose today to walk in Your Annointing. I ask that I would see all things through Your eyes and not my own. I ask you today to help me to be the best me I can be. Help me to know when I am wrong and help me to make it right. Help me to grow and change and become more like You today. Thank You for my Family, Father you see all the needs I ask You to bless them and minister to all of them today. Thank you for my Friends, You see the needs here as well, I ask you to minister and bless them all today. Thank you for who You are in my life. I release all control to You today. You are my Driver. I love you Father, You alone are worthy of all praise, honor, and glory. In Jesus Precious Name I pray. Amen.

ONLY ONE.

Only One?

It's harder than it looks when you're a woman of too-many-words.
Each answer can only be one word.

1. Where is your cell phone? HERE
2. Your significant other? WONDERFUL
3. Your hair? TERRIBLE
4. Your mother? STRUGGLING
5. Your father? WORKING
6. Your favorite thing? LOVING
7. Your dream last night? NONE
8. Your favorite drink? GRAPE
9. Your dream/goal? MINSITRY
10. The room you’re in? OFFICE
11. Your friends? BLESSINGS
12. Your fear? DESTROYING
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? MINISTRY
14. Where were you last night? SOFTBALL
15. What you’re not? RESTED
16. Muffins? YUMMY
17. One of your wish list items? EXPENSIVE
18. Where you grew up? SOUTH
19. The last thing you did? WORK
20. What are you wishing? BALANCE
21. Your TV? HOME
22. Your pets? TATER
23. Your computer? DELL
24. Your life? JESUS
25. Your mood? OKAY
26. Missing someone? YES
27. Your car? HALLIE!
28. Something you’re not wearing? SWEATER
29. Favorite store? CLOTHING
30. Your summer? DIFFERENT
31. Loves? JESUS
32. Your favorite word? LOVE
33. Last time you laughed? EARLIER
34. Last time you cried? LUNCH

Weekend Update

Another weekend gone. Wow they fly by so fast!

It was a good weekend.

Had a wonderful date on Friday night. We ate at Bone Fish Grill, the food was wonderful! The wait for a table was more wonderful though. It was nice outside and I had good company. *Smile*

I simply love doing the normal things together, things I would think while single, what will it be like to do this with someone. It's is great I can now tell you that.

Saturday was my day of balancing and I think I did alright. The morning was spent at the lake with my God family and our cousin who's up from Fairhope. We had a good time playing on the water, except the boat breaking down. But that is fixed now which is great. Then on to the pool with mom and my nephew Jacob. My brother came too a little while later and it was nice to get to see everyone and hang out a bit. Jacob is getting comfortable in the water and likes to go under, which is great cause he's only five!! Then it was home to get ready and out to the movies with my brother Daniel, two of his friends Mykel and Jamie, cousin Elizabeth, Marshall and me. We went to see The Dark Knight. I HATED IT!!! HATED IT HATED IT HATED IT HATED IT. But everyone else LOVED it. I hate clowns and don't EVER watch scary movies. Not that I really thought Batman would be scary but I thought it was rather evil. Especially the Joker. Just evil, evil thoughts, killing, just Hated it. But the company was good and I ended up sleeping through the last half of the movie. It was either go hang out in the lobby by myself or sleep. I figure everyone else would enjoy the movie more if I just quietly slept at my seat, rather than making an issue of how much I hated the movie and leaving. So sleeping it was. I have no idea how the movie ends and don't care one bit either. lol. I hate clowns! Movin on now.

Sunday I got to teach youth Sunday School...I am not sure how it went but I survived and felt half way good about it. I enjoyed it alot! I love to teach and I forget that sometimes. That's why I love object lessons so much, it's my favorite form of teaching!!! After church we ate Mexican - gag - then headed back to the lake for the afternoon/evening. We had a good time in the sunshine and a yummy dinner too!!!

After we left the lake Marshall and I headed to our favorite ice cream place - Cold Stone Creamery, which has become a Sunday evening thing whenever possible. Super Yummy!!! From there we headed to the church with my brother Daniel and had an incredible time in worship!!! What a way to end the weekend!!!

I will leave my readers with a picture of me and my sweetie...I am working on building a collection of pictures with my sweetie...he's so handsome!!!

Loved!

So I woke up to a wonderful display of someone's love for me all over my front yard!!!

This put the biggest smile on my face. What a wonderful way to wake up...knowing someone thought about you and loves you. Thank you to whoever the culprit is...my guess is some wonderful youths!!!!

Well it's finally Friday and what a week it has been. Work has been rough lately. They are reorganizing and making cut backs, neither are very comfortable things for a company's employees. We have had to say goodbye to a dear friend already and the atmosphere in our office has not been quite the same since. It's sad to watch. Panic is taking place and as some panic their reactions are ugly. People are turning on each other, pointing fingers at each other all in efforts to save themselves. Not my game. I am not trying to save my job. My singular goal is to have a Christlike attitude no matter what each day brings. Noone's job is safe and no amount of tearing people down is going to save one's job. No, I am not trying to save my job, it is not mine to save. The Lord has a plan and I trust Him. My goal is to have a Christlike attitude wheter they ask me to leave or ask me to take on more responsibility. It's tense here and ugly and it seems like at any moment people are going to literally begin ripping each other apart and feasting on their flesh. I want to shine a light of love and hope and peace that comes only from Christ!! I have to becareful with my words and my attitude and my actions. Which means I am headed to the grindstone now. TGIF!!! Looking forward to the weekend!!!

Pooped!!!

I am totally pooped!!!

We drove up to youth camp last night it was really good. I so enjoy the speaker Joe Phillips. He is so funny and deep at the same time!! Worship was so awesome last night and the service turned into a healing service. Very cool!!! We then got to see fireworks, and that's ALWAYS cool to me!! We hung out in the rec hall for a little bit after that.

Camp is so great. It makes me sad sometimes to realize what I missed out on growing up. Kids Camp & Youth Camp. But my children will not miss out on it. I am going to make sure they know how much Jesus loves them from the very beginning and give them as much and as many opportunities as I possibly can. Camp teaches so much, how to have fun the good way and how much Jesus loves us, and how to worship and love on Jesus and how to be social. I am a big fan of camp. And even though I missed out on it growing up, I get to experience it now and be apart of it now. And I am so thankful to God for that. I get to do so much ministry and I love it with my whole heart. I literally was created for ministry. I am in love with ministering God's love to people of all ages.

We have a kids crusade coming up that I get to go to and I am so very excited!! I have not been able to do any of the crusades this summer yet so I am busting at the seems ready to love on some kids at a crusade!!!! I miss it so much, the packing, loading, unloading, setting up, practicing, praying, the services, the altar times, the new people, new kids, new places. I really am excited. I am a big fan of crusades. I love traveling together with our team. We just have fun and grow closer when we travel together. I feel so out of the loop this summer and that has been hard, but I haven't been upset about it. God said before I went to Thailand that He would take care of that and He has. I am sad and miss it but I haven't been upset like I would have been. God is good and so Faithful!! Always!!

I am really excited about tonight. Having a girls night out. I am ready for it and excited about it. Soup, Movie, Ice Cream, and Girl Time!!! I can't wait really.

Oh and I just have to say...WOW...God is so good and faithful...and I am more than glad I waited on the man God has for me...it's been incredible...my guy is wonderful...and it's all God's doing...this whole thing...and I am just amazed and in awe of how much my Heavenly Father loves me...and the wonderful man he has brought into my life...it's little things and big things and real things and God things...so many things that confirm the Father's hand in this and His love for us.

Under eye bags! SHEESH!!

Seriously what's with those? There are days - like today - that I have them so bad when I smile you can barely even see my eyes at all!! Sheesh!!!

We have these annual meetings at work and us employees must submitt a photo and brief description. So today I take a few (12) quick photos to see if I can come up with a good one and voila - UNDER EYE BAGS and NO EYES!!! Needless to say I will be submitting a picture from a day where I did not have under eye bags!! LOL - see the below examples - not from today cause I got frustrated and deleted those completely.

On a better note about our company meetings...I will have a date to the dinners for the first time in 7 years. WOW!!! That right there is super cool!!!

So on a much more wonderful note...I get to teach the youth Sunday School class this Sunday and I am so excited about it. I love object lessons and teaching, its great!! As I was studying last night things just kept popping out. I think SS is going to be really Great, God has alot to share!!! I am thankful I get to be the vessel!!! We are doing a GREAT book called Burn this Book: Ignite a New Life with God, by Garth Heckman, is it really incredible and at the end we are going to actually Burn the book and the impurities in our lives!!

Thank you Father for the opportunity to become closer to you and touch kids lives in the process. This book will be what we make of it and I intend to BURN some impurities so that I may be closer to you!! I love you Father!! Thank you for all you are doing in and around me!!! In Jesus name. Amen.

Weekend Update

I am trying to be a more faithful blogger...we'll see...

This weekend was really good. Good and balanced, which is quite the miracle for me.

Friday:
* I went to a viewing, my mom's friend died of cancer. Cancer really is the saddest disease. I was so proud of my mom and her support of her friend though. And I was glad I went to support mom as well.
* Dinner with my sweetie
* To some friends house for a fun night of games and laughter

Saturday:
* Slept in until 9ish
* Laundry/cleaning!!! Yes!!
* Lunch with my sweetie
* Dinner & Movie with my family - we ate outside on the deck, it was really nice!!!

Sunday:
* Youth Sunday School
* Children's Church - Very good!!!
* Lunch at Uncle Monks with family & friends
* Dairy Queen for ice cream
* Home for Sunday afternoon lounging
* A Night Of Worship - SO VERY AWESOME!!!
* Quick dinner with my sweetie
* Bed early!


And this morning I got up early and had devotion time. It doesn't get much better than that!!!

It was a very good weekend. It's so nice to have the time to clean my house and get some things done that really needed to be done. It's amazing how dirty a house can get when you don't have time for general maintenance. There is still much to be done but the house is clean in all the important places!! And I love it!!!

It's also nice to that the weekend was fairly stress free, and this was a first in a while.

And last night I just gave EVERYTHING to the Lord. I just couldn't carry the stuff that I was carrying anymore. And my Heavenly Father graciously took all that I gave and responded with "I am pleased with you. You have done right. I am pleased with you." WOW!! Now how can you not break down and weep from sheer relief when you hear the Heavenly Father tell you that He is pleased with you. What an incredible moment. To know that what I am doing is good and pleasing in the sight of the Creator, the Lord. Wow. That broke me, definately. I have never felt like I was pleasing or good or that I have done things well. Especially not lately. The Father knows just what we need, Always.

Update...

I haven't posted much. I have come here so many times to post but haven't.

I have been on total overload lately. To the point of being ready to shut down completely. But...

The Lord is SO faithful and so good. He is truly my Refuge,my Shield & my Strength.

Truly I have so much to be thankful for and you know it's nice sometimes to just remind yourself of those things. I think now is as good a time as any:

I am thankful for:
1. A Heavenly Father that loves me more than I can fathom
2. Family Family Family Family - I love my Family & I am SO very thankful for them
3. The freedom we have to love the Lord and freely worship and praise Him
4. The ways the Lord surprises me and Blesses me continually
5. My sweetie, I am blown away at what the Lord has done and is doing
6. All the work the Lord is doing in me and around me
7. Not being sick today

I have been feeling better lately, I am believing that I am finally done being sick!! I have been sick for months and it's about time for it to be OVER!!!

Things are looking up...Thank you Father for taking care of me...Thank you Father that things are looking up. Help me to be as faithful to you as you are to me. I love you Father!!

Random thoughts...

I am so happy

God keeps confirming His love for me over and over

God keeps surprising me

I am ready to be 100% physically - I am tired of being sick

God is good even in the difficult times

Worship was incredible last night

I am thankful for my family

I am thankful for my friends

I feel like if I took of running and jumped I could actually FLY

I love grape Kool-Aid

I love pictures they make me happy to look at them

I am so weepy lately - gah - it's really annoying

I am a planner

I need to clean my house

I love girl's nights

I love getting off work early

I love worship music

I love to sing to the Lord

I love to laugh and hear others laughing

I love to be greeted by children