Update on cruise...this is all I can do for now...enjoy the pictures!!

Okay it was awesome when the boat came into view...I was so excited...it is the biggest thing I have ever seen...then we checked in through customs and stuff...snapped a pic before boarding(all for you mom), waited in the Purser's Lobby for a min to check on excursions, found our rooms down the longest hall ever, visited the Lido Deck aka all the time food buffet...whoa...ate lunch...food on the ship is incredible...most definately the best part of the whole ship...then we watched the ship leave...they cleaned our rooms twice a day...the turn down service was awesome, they would clean our room, and make and turn down our beds every night...and we got towel animals(so fun and cute), and mints and programs for the next days events...I am now spoiled!!! I was an amazing trip...I loved it!!!

Cozumel...where we got to swim with the dolphins(no pics...had no underwater camera)...this ended up being our first stop...the damage from Emily was extensive...I was so sad for the people here...they are having to rebuild so much...I bet it was once as beautiful as the water!

More Costa Maya shots...this place was incredible and I'd go back in a heart beat...the bottom is a pic of the salt water pool and the restaraunt where we ate lunch...the top is a shot of the entrance from a tower...incredible...absolutely incredible!!

Costa Maya...it doesnt get any better than this...how beautiful...it was my dream...my paradise...especially the hammock!!

Wonderful waitress Maya(from Thailand), Me, and wonderful head waiter Maladin(Bosnia)...they were so awesome and fun and I miss them bunches!

On deck after dinner...whoa...what a view!!

Back in Mobile...2 hours from disembarkation...a tanned Tabbie ready for home!

It's tomorrow! It's tomorrow!!!

Wow...okay this post is going to be short but sweet because I am super tired and I have a ton of work to do...I am leaving tomorrow to go on a cruise...I am crazy excited and I so can not wait to get on that ship...I wont be around agian until next Friday...yep I'm coming back to work next Friday...so I'll be sure and update as soon as I can when I get back...I love all you guys and will miss everyone sooooo much...I'll miss Luvern and I may cry if I think about that...so I'm not going to think about it...I'm gonna miss Kia night, church, STARS, and everyone...I love you all...have a great week...a great week...see you when I get back...wish me lots of rest and relaxation and lots and lots of time with God!!

Thankful still!!

Okay...let me just start of with saying...Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was not all that...first off the name is decieving...it sounds like it would be a sequel to the first one...but its not...now there were some funny parts but I am not sure I would pay to see it again...my brother liked it though...and we had a good time...we haven't gotten to hang out like that in a while...I miss it alot...I didnt get home until Midnight thought...wow...but I actually got up and got to work early this morning...so that was a real shocker...lol...and I am not draggin yet...thank you Jesus...Stars last night was great...it was so fun to pick berries with the girls and just listen to the things they say...they are so wonderful...the dessert was soooooo goood...and I ate waaaayy waayyy too much of it and I still have more at home...Oh Lord Jesus help me...lol...you know what I keep thinking about is spending time with God...I think that is the thing I am most excited about for vacation...is that I want to look out over the expanse of the ocean and sky and just be in the presence of God...I can't wait...I just cant wait...so its a good thing I only have to wait another day and a half right...well you know what else...I am truly surprised at how well I feel...I really have handled the things that transpired over the weekend well...and God has already answered one of my prayers...it is very reassuring to have that happen...I know I have not stood in faith like I desire too...but this is a learning...I was so strong and so able to stand in faith not too long ago...but the enemy was throwing darts at me...small ones...he just pulled out a bigger dart and got me...but I see it as an attack so in seeing that I have grown and am learning from it...isnt it awesome how God uses things like that...I am thankful for the things He has taught me and for the things He is teaching me and for the things He will teach me...so thankful...though I know learning these things was not, is not, and will not be easy...I know it is SOOO worth it...so worth it...you know for the past month or more I have just be so thankful...almost everyday...I love it...I am thankful for it...I am thankful for God's timing...wow...is it perfect or what...it just amazes me...God is good in so many ways and I see new ways all the time...I can not believe how much He loves me and how much I mess up yet He still loves me and will never leave me...my human mind will never understand that...but like Paul it is my prayer that all will know...Ephesians 3:17-18"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,"...I want to know too...I want to spend the rest of my life trying to grasp that...and becoming more like Him...and loving Him more...and...living a life worthy of the they calling He has given me...Ephesians 4:1-6 "1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."...Father this is my prayer...I want to be all you've called me to be...help me to be willing and open to your direction, change, dicipline, will, and love...it's all about you Jesus...it's all about telling the world how much You love them...it's all about telling children how much You love them...it's all about telling women You can bring them healing and life...it's all about loving all those around me no matter if I like them or now...it's all about interceeding for those who need You and dont know how to get there...it's ALL about you...and I am thankful that You found me, saved me, healed me, redeemed me, changed me, CALLED ME...help me to live a life worthy of the calling You have given me...I love you with all my heart...help me to "Be still, and know that YOU are God"...help me to stand in faith and love as a light to those around me...forgive me for my mess ups, they are many...thank you for that forgiveness...be with me this day...help me to love you more today than yesterday...help me to be better today than yesterday...I love you...in Jesus' name...Amen!!!

A family in need...needs prayer indeed!!

This is my wonderful adopted family...they are truly a gift to me from my Father...from left to right...Daniel(youngest brother), Jared(younger brother), Me, Neesie, Dad...it is amazing how God has weaved me into this family...they are my family as if I were born there...I love them all very much...I am thankful for them!
This is my wonderful birth family...from left to right starting at the top...Brandi(sister in law), William(oldest brother), Glenn(older brother), Me, Mom, Jacob(nephew:William and Brandi's son)...we are all different but I love them all very much! I am thankful for them!

Prayer last night was absolutely incredible...I ended up on my face in the floor just crying...not able to pray only to cry...I cried out for my families last night...I know God heard...I am going to do my best to stand in faith and simply "Be still, and know that He is God." Psalm 46:10...its all I can do...its all I need to do...see there I go trying to fix it on my own...trying to take charge and do it myself...WRONG...I know I can not do this on my own...I know and was reminded last night that I can not even bear this burden for my familes on my own...and I am truly thankful for those who are willing to pray for me and with me...truly thankful...I am thankful for the seekers that were there seeking last night...it is awesome to be in His presence and be with those who are truly seeking...I loved it...well today has gone well so far...I woke up at 6:15am this morning and those of you who know me know that is a miracle, lol...I was at work by 6:50am and I have been productive...I am excited...tonight is going to be great...in Stars we are going to the You Pick It farm to pick blue berries and make the most delicious blueberry dessert EVER...this is the third year in a row we have done it and it has become a tradition and I love it...it is fun picking berries with the girls and then teaching them cooking skills along with God's word and love...what better combination can you have...God, kids, and dessert, lol...anyway then after service I'm going to go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Danielle and whoever else wants to come oh yeah I just talked to my brother Daniel and he is going to come...woohoo...anyway I hope more come too...I can't wait to see it...ok so vacation is getting closer and closer...I am so excited...I really just cant wait to be on the boat and have a break from responsibility and stuff going on here and just have fun, relax, and seek God and spend time with Him...not that I cant and dont do that here...but the funny thing is, is that I crave time with God mostly when I am at work and cant dive into His Word like I want to...but my downfall is that when I do have time I let myself be distracted by stupid things instead of getting in the Word...but I have been doing better...I am thankful for that...oh I cant wait to see God's creation that I have never seen before...I am ready to see His sunset over the ocean...I am ready for a break from work and reality as I know it...I am ready to relax and vacate...I am ready to have fun and bond with my family...I am ready to eat good food and not worry about a diet..I am just ready...oh and guess what else is creeping up on me...fall fever...oh man...its already here...I am ready for the fall...crazy I know...summer is just now really here...but I love fall soooooo much...anyway just thought I would share that...well I had better go...got lots to do...Father, today I ask for Your will with the things going on, I ask that You would touch my families and minister there...give me strength, peace, and hope...thank you for Your awesome love and patience and faithfullness...thank you for wonderful people who love me and support me...they are truly gifts from you...help me to be a light here at work today...in Jesus' name...Amen!

Good Morning!

I have decided to post first thing this morning while the day is still new...I got alot done at home last night after working till 6:30 so that is pretty shocking...but wonderful...got my bedroom, bathroom, and living room cleaned, and got a load of laundry done...woohoo...then I sat down with my hot tea and dove right into Ephesians because Jen is ahead of me and I needed to catch up... I am so glad I did...I so needed and craved that time in the Word and with God...then I headed upstairs to bed...I read A Tale of Three Kings while I was whitening my teeth, lol...you know I have to look great for the cruise that I am going on in 4 days...woohoo...anyway...the morning has not started off good but I being in the Word and with God last night has helped protect me...I am still feeling alright...I am thankful...you know I know God loves me and is here with me and is holding me up right now...I dont know how I would survive without Him...He spoke to me alot last night about the places He has brought me from...and I needed to see those things...he also showed me that satan is attacking my faith and has been...he started by throwing small darts and when he saw I was batting them down and standing strong...he brought out the big guns...and yes he knocked me down but not for long this time...I realize now that what I am going through is a major attack of my faith, and seeing is the first step...last night I got back up and dusted myself off crawled up in my Saviors lap and let Him speak and give me strength...so away from me satan in Jesus name...my Father has me safe and sound...I am learning alot through this struggle and understanding more and I am growing...today I am okay...I am thankful...not too mention on 4 more days until I will be boarding a ship...I so can not wait...I am truly vacating, lol...going to take me a nice girly book, my bible, and my family...what more could you ask for...well not to mention being on a grand ship in the ocean and seeing things I have yet to see...so excited...I can not wait!...well I had better go and get this day started and get my work done...I have so much to do!!...hasta luego!...I love you Jesus...thank you for this wonderful day...in Jesus name...Amen!!

5 days and counting!

(This is a real tree from a park close to where I work...cool huh...that face describes how I feel pretty much)
I have never needed a vacation more than I do right now...I am so looking forward to the down time and time with my Savior...I am praying for some serious time in the presence of God...I am praying His presence would be strong...I need His presence right so much...I am looking forward to not having much responsibility oh wont it be nice...I can not wait...I really cant...I am pretty worn out today...it was an exhausting weekend...I wont go into details but it definately took it out of me...I am struggling to have faith and hope in a major area of my life...please pray that I will find that...I need God to speak to me about that specific area...pray for that...but you know I am awesomely blessed...blessed with a Heavenly Father that loves me so much He gave His Son to die so that I might have life and live it to the fullest...I mean wow...who do you know that would do that...I dont know anyone else that would even consider doing that...I am thankful for my Fahter's love and mercy, for His faithfulness and strength...I am thankful that when I fall down I land in His embrace...and He catches me, loves on me, dusts me off, and places my feet back on solid ground...we all need someone who will pick us up when we fall down...He is the one...and though I am struggling alot right now I know I am blessed and loved...I know that I am okay and I have hope that I will make it through and grow from what I am struggling with...that is awesome...Romans 5:3-5 "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us." Father help my faith grow stronger...please speak and help me understand and know the things you would have me to know and understand...help me have hope and faith...I love you with all of my heart...thank you for those you have placed in my life that I can depend on no matter what...thank you for those that stand with me in the hard places...thank you for those that do not ridicule and run from me...I am thankful for You and that you know best and that you provide just what and who I need at just the right time...You are my all in all...and I love you with all I am...help me be better...in Jesus name...Amen!

Death Warmed Over!!

Talk about extremes...today I look and feel like death warmed over, lol...sounds terrible doesnt it...it is not becuase anything bad...actually it is because I spent a time with great people...I was on the phone till well after 1:00 Wednesday night...I had so many things going through my brain I was wired and wasnt sleepy...and so my Neesie stayed up after getting home from All State and talked to me for forever...and then last night Jen came over and we watched a movie and I got in bed after 11:00...so this is what it does to me...I am getting old, lol...I have racoon eyes and I am so not talkative, and I am slow as molassis in winter time, but its July, lol(okay you will only get that last part if you listen to country music)...anyway...it is still a good day, just I am not doing so well with it...but that is alright...tonight I am going to spend the night at my moms with her and my nephew...I may need to go home and nap first, lol...he wears me out...he is an active little joker...anyway...well here is an update on the cruise situation...only 8 days to go...it really doesnt seem real today to me...but Hurricane Emily is headed straight for our destinations...right now she is a category 4...yikes...can you imagine the destruction...so it will be interesting to see where they route us if Cozumel is destroyed...but you know the hurricanes are killin us...I mean I feel so bad for those who live in Cuba...they alaways get hit no matter what path the hurricanes take...poor things...and they cant just up and move...but as far as the cruise goes it doesnt matter to me where we go as long as I can be on that boat vacating, lol...but I really dont want Emily to destroy all these countries she is headed for...and poor Aruba too...man havent they been through enough...speaking of Aruba...wow...thinking of Natalie Hollaway makes me wanna cry...I cant imagine what it must be like for her family to no know what happened to their little girl...noone deserves any of this...ya know...it is such a hard situation...I just pray that something will turn around soon...what happened to those girls...I say those because three years ago a young woman disappeared from a ship that had just left Aruba...I dont think it is directly related to Aruba though...but a country somewhere close by...I suspect they were sold into prostitution...and I cant even allow my mind to go there...the healing those girls will need if that is the case...mmmmhhh...okay I cant think about that...I will cry...it makes me feel so helpless...whoa...when you are tired it is amazing the places your mind will go huh...I am so ready to go home...and have me time...but I am excited to spend time with mom and Jacob too...I dont do this often...I probably should more often...anyway we wont go down that road either...it is just a situation that is all...wow...I really dont like this post today...its such a downer from yesterdays, lol...or any days...blah...well I guess I will go and stop bringing people down, lol...but not before a prayer...Father I thank you for this day, I thank you for your love and faithfulness, I thank you for the wonderful people in my life, help me to pull out of this tiredness and be normal soon...thank you for an opportunity to spend time with my mom...be there with me and guide my words and actions...I pray your presence would be so strong...help me to be a light to them...give me strength and love overflowing...I pray that tonight at church would be awesome and really minister into lives...thank you for you awesome ministries...Father continue your work in me...continue to weed out the bad and replace it with the good...thank you for saving me...in Jesus' name...Amen!

This is what I wish I felt like...this is me playing at the park...I had done a flip over that bar...cool pic huh...my arms are actually freaking me out...that looks so not natural...ha!

Fantabulous!!

I am not sure this day could get any better...but you never know what else God has in store...I dont even know where to begin...well at the beginning I guess would be good...what was the first good thing to happen...oh...I went and weighed this morning...drum roll please...149...woohoo...I am down from 155-157ish...in a week and a half...how awesome is that...than alone made my day...then David called me into his office to show me the newest in new data entry program...Jeremy from Lonehill created just for us...holy cow...it is incredible and is just going to be such a blessing to me in the next couple months...you have no idea...no anyone who hasnt sat here at Summer Classics and rushed to get all the millions upon millions of peices of information keyed into the system before we turn the Sales reps loose to sell our new products could never appreciate this new thing like me...wow...I am so psyched...ok so as if that were not enough...David my boss comes to my office and tells me that my last vacation has been approved for the Kids Crusade in Kentucky in September...I started to cry then stopped and said wait I am not going there yet...this is why...last year they told me I couldnt go so I cried and cried and cried then come to find out they were just playing with me and it had been approved...so this time before I cried I was like okay David you really need to shoot straight with me...and he was serious...so I was like ok can you go now so I can cry...wow...and I have been crying since...lol...I mean as crazy as it sounds...I live my life for Children's Ministry...I am sad everytime I have to miss a crusade or anything our Children's Ministry does...like I cried when I found out we are doing a crusade in Luverne the week I'll be on the cruise...I have been dying to go back to Luverne...it was my very first crusade I ever did...and I want to go back so bad...and I'll cry again thinking about it...but this will be my third year going to Kentucky and it is incredible because the church there really goes all out and let me tell you kids lives are touched and changed...they put alot of time and effort into it...they really get involved...it is so awesome...not to mention how much I love the Neugents...they are they Pastors there and we always stay in their home and they are the most gracious, loving, kind people...they are wonderful...and they have three incredible girls too...it is just the best time ever...the ministry is great, the people are great...I mean the people are really great...it is a church by a military fort...so they have a mixture of people...I mean it is what the church is supposed to be...there are Vietnamese, Korean, Spanish, Black, White, everyone is welcomed and loved...I think it is the most awesome thing ever...and boy do we get loved on while we are there...I mean Miss Becky bakes before we come...I mean bakes...the beautiful Koreans cook for us while we are there...we get Spanish food while we are there...it is just an incredible time of hard hard work and fun and blessing...I so thankful that I am getting to go back again...okay...I just got finished with lunch...Taco Salad from Zapopan...yum and I can eat everything in it guilt free...and it is so good...what a blessing...the day just keeps getting better...Deana brought Emma in...oh my she is gorgeous and has gotten so big...she is beautiful...wow what a day full of blessings...thank you Father for all the wonderful things You have added to my day...well I need to go so I can get work done uninterrupted...have a happy day!!!

10 days!!!

Wow I am so excited about vacation with my family...so excited...I can not wait to actually board the ship...I think that is when I will stop worrying that something will come up and we wont get to go...man would that be a sad day...but I am trying not to let my mind go in that direction...this is my adopted family and the ship we are sailing on in yep you guessed it 10 days!!!...ok...so my friend Jen and I have been reading through Galations together...it has been really good...I have been so blessed by it...now we are heading into Ephesians...I have been listening to it on my cds since yesterday...but I am reading it too...anyway it is really cool to have a friend to do that with...I am excited about this new friendship...and I can not wait to see where God will take it...ok on a more light note...my apartment is finally looking cozy...my mom came over Saturday and helped me put up my curtain(I'll have to take a pic and post it)...oh I love them...they are red and they look awesome...I am going with an Autumn color theme...of course...anyone who knows me knows how much I love Autumn...so reds, browns, burnt oranges, green...I am so excited...I have the red curtains...and red accents which are candles...and I have some brown candles...I need to get a rug, dining table and chairs, my couch mom is covering when she gets time in a brown chanelle...Carrie and I found the most perfect throw pillows at Wal-Mart last night...and I need a bigger mirror and a framed picture...and voila it will be a cozy, homey, home...I am excited...I really do love the red curtains!!!...oh my goodness things got crazy here at work...but phew its calming back down...you know...I have just been craving time with God...craving it...and this crazy world in which we live and the ruler of that world would like nothing more than to keep me busy and distracted...and I let him succeed in that far too often...right now I just wish I were at home with my hot tea, bible, praise and worship music...and not here dealing with work...but I have to keep in my head that I am here for a purpose and it is not to be annoyed...it is to be a light and to be loving and generous and kind...Father help me be that today...I need you today so much, in Jesus name, Amen...I am thankful that today is Wednesday and I get to spend time with Jodi and the girls tonight...and we are starting my favorite unit...cooking...and I think we will learn more this year because we will have to learn to subsitute because Della is allergic to milk products...so it will be fun...I miss them...I miss class uninterrupted...I really need to focus more on class every week and spend time planning and praying...I have not done that in a long time...I have been more unfocused than ever...Father guide me in that direction, renew my passion and desire and vision for Stars, in Jesus name, Amen...these little prayers are helping me alot today...I am struggling with being annoyed...dumb really...I have nothing to be annoyed at...actually I think that at this very moment I am going to just decide not to be annoyed and move on...hhhmmppphh...okay...I am ready to spend some time with God...I wish I could go and do it right now...but I had better go and get this work off my desk so I can leave at 5:00 today and get to church early and maybe have some quiet time in the sanctuary...that would be so nice...I miss that...so I'm off to work work work...Father, help me to be nice, and encouraging today, help me to stay focused and get all my work done early...shine through me today and touch those around me...I love you so much Father...forgive me for loosing my cool so easily...for letting the enemy steal my joy...be with me the rest of this day...be in my words, thoughts, and actions...help me to represent You and be pleasing to You...in Jesus Holy name, Amen!

okay so the pics are gonna be first

Leah, Danielle, and Me
Julie(aka Loudy Louderson) and Me
Danielle(aka Goofy Gooferson) and Me

Better

Well I have to say that today I am feeling much better!...I am so thankful...I got alot done last night at home and that makes me feel better...I have stayed in the Word reading in Galations with a friend and we started praying together...man it is so nice to have someone to do that with...we are being accountability to each other and it really has helped me stay focused...and has inspired me to do more...its great...I am thankful for her definately...I feel so much better when I dont go home and be lazy and just lay around feeling yucky...anyway it seems that there are alot of people who are struggling right now...so I am going to send out a blanket prayer for our church body...Father, I pray a covering of protection over our church body...protect us from the enemy's attacks on our minds, hearts, and bodies...Father, be our strength, motivation, and help us to see the attacks and fight against it...Father I just pray that you would unify us and strengthen us...I pray that we would see and learn the things we need to see and that you would bring healing to this body...Father I thank you...in Jesus name I pray...Amen...phew...I love my heavenly Father...well today has been a funny day...we had a meeting that started at 8:30 this morning to go through our catalog...we have to look at every word and number to make sure it is all correct... there were several strong personalities in there...I was laughing the whole time...I finally was freed a little while ago...wow am I glad...anyway...I just feel sooo much better today...still not feeling as close to God as I had been but I will get back there...well I am going to close with posting some pics that Danielle took with her camera phone Saturday night at the All State Drama thing...enjoy!!

pic

I just sort of figured out how to put pictures in my blog...how fun is that...now I will have to come up with some new pics to share...fun...this is me around February 2005...before I cut my hair.

Clawing back up

Man...I just cant seem to shake this mess...I feel more unmotivated than I can ever remember feeling...I know it is an attack...Sunday morning was the worst ever...well that is until I entered into the presence of God...man I was thankful for praise and worship time in Children's Church...singing and worshiping made me feel so much better...but I am still struggling...it is so not a fun place to be right now...but I am going to make it back...and I am still loving my God so much...I am ready for vacation though...I am really praying for a relaxing time and some really good quiet time with God...I cant imagine not feeling close to him looking out over the vast ocean...I am ready...no hurricane is going to keep us away...I rather enjoyed my time at home last night in the hurricane storm though...I lounged around on my couch reading magazines and drinking hot tea...it was great...I was so thankful that the power did not go out though...I think that would have made me freak out...if I had to sit and listen to the wind blow the trees around outside...but it didnt go out and I had the tv on the live continuing coverage of Hurricane Dennis so I could listen to that...it was rather nice...I do enjoy my time alone...I do I do...well anyway I am going to go cause I am just dont have much to say I'm just not motivated...I have a project I need to get done before I leave for a meeting that will last the rest of the afternoon...yuck...catalog stuff...fun fun...but duty calls...if you read this please pray for me...I could us all the prayers I can get...thanks...bye for now

Crash!

Well the crash is here...I knew it would come...I was up far too high for far too long...but it was nice to be there and I will be there again...but now it is time to get through the down...its funny how it doesnt take much to get knocked back down...I guess I got too comfortable up there and let down my guard...boy satan sure took advantage of that one...ouch...but I will recover...it make take a little bit though...okay well I am typing this in pieces because of work...I feel a little better now...and I hope I am climbing back up...I hate the devil...I mean really his only purpose is to make us all miserable and the worst part about it is that he is patient and attacks at just the right moment when your guard is down...I guess it all really started last night when I let some doubt creep in...but you know it is all okay...things happened and I recognized it and you know that is good for me...I know this post may not make much sense but I guess it doesnt have to...I just know that God is still good...He is good all the time even when things happen that are not so good...He loves me not matter what...and He is here to catch me when I fall...for that I am...guess...you got it thankful...I truly am thankful...you know now that I think about it I do feel better, and thinking about God and his goodness helps alot...oh my gosh...whoa...I just went back and read yesterdays post...and the verse at the end of that post totally fits what happened to me today let me reiterate...Ecclesiastes 9:12 "Like a fish caught in a cruel net or birds in a trap, So men and women are caught by accidents evil and sudden."...things happen...but God is still there and still loves us and is still in control...well after all this blabber I might better go and get some work done...I am ready for the weekend to begin...pressing on pressing on!!

Happy Thursday!!

Wow I am so glad to be home...left out for Huntsville to do inventory on our store Tuesday morning @ 5:00am...and I am glad to be back home...the weekend was so great though...Friday night was Jada's birthday party so I hung out there and we had amazing lazagna that Jen made...wow it was sooo good...I didnt eat the cake cause I didnt want to break my diet too bad...I played with the kids and took them to catch lighting bugs...it was cute because they wanted to catch them but not touch them, lol...it was fun...then the adults hung out in the living room and talked a little while...it was nice...Saturday I slept late and got to the church late but got there and helped with the 4th of July stuff, everything looked great...then I went to moms and played with Jacob for a while...he is a mess...he needs some dicipline definately...but I do not hesitate to give it to him, lol...it was fun and he can be super sweet...when I left he gave me a hug and a kiss...which is the cutest thing because when he kisses you he takes his hands and puts them on your cheeks and pulls you to him...awww...I loved it...then I went home packed and went to Wiggins...we watched a movie...Sunday morning the 4th of July program was wonderful...then we picnic-ed for a while...and went home and I took a long bath and then we watched a movie...the Notebook it was good...I remember reading the book...Monday I slept till 10:30 and then later that afternoon Jason and Jen Arias came over and we all sat around talking for hours and hours...it was wonderful...really wonderful...so that was my edge of your seat weekend...lol...I loved it very much...you know I have been thinking alot lately about the things I am thankful for...it has just been on my mind constantly, everyday...it is nice to think about...you know God is really pulling me up to him...drawing me closer and closer...weeding out the bad and replacing with good, with Him...I am so glad...I still have alot of bad to weed out...I do not want to stop working on it...though I get tired and frustrated...I want to keep fighting...keep seeking...He always provides strength and determination where I lack...and I lack alot...but He is FAITHFULL...always always always faithfull...I am just ready for more of what He has for me...I am going to stay in His word and in His presence as much as I can...I am going to dive deep and seek Him with all I have...I want to heal and grow and change as much as I can...I want to be as healed as I can be for my family and ministry...I know they will benefit greatly from it...speaking of family...God has promised me a husband and family that will be better than what I have dreamed of since I was a child...a family that has HIM at the center...I am excited...and yes I do feel like God can take care of that Himself and no I do not want or need to be set up...lol...yes there is much attitude in that statement...I cant help it...everytime I turn around someone is trying to set me up with someone...I do not want to be set up...I have never liked that...anyway just had to get that out real quick...ok so anyway...I am enjoying my present and looking forward to my future in Jesus...I was ready my bible last night I have the New Century Version...I love it...but came across this verse out of Ecclesiastes...(I couldnt find that version online and I left that bible at home so this is the closest I could find from the Message version)Ecc. 9:11-12 "I took another walk around the neighborhood and realized this on this earth as it is--The race is not always to the swift, Nor the battle to the strong, Nor satisfaction to the wise, Nor riches to the smart, Nor grace to the learned, Sooner or later bad luck hits us all. Noone can predict misfortune. Like a fish caught in a cruel net or birds in a trap, So men and women are caught by accidents evil and sudden."...food for thought.

New Resolve - I am Thankful!

Please dear Jesus let this determination stay...I have been the laziest bum the past couple weeks...havent cleaned my house, havent been eating good, havent exercised(okay that has been way more that a couple weeks)...but today I have a new resolve to do these things...mainly to do the Atkins diet...but I know that I will not follow through with this unless I get out of this lazy spell...I do this from time to time...its a cycle with me...it is OCD for a while...then LAZY for a while...yes it drives me crazy...so I am praying(and you pray too) that this new resolve sticks...okay aside from that...I have just woke up everyday Thankful...thankful to my Lord for everything...for the place I am in, for the blessings He has given, for the things I have learned, for the people He has placed in my life, for everything...it is such an awesome place to be...I mean right now I am so thankful there are tears stinging my eyes...I just dont know what else to say except to give God ALL the glory for all I am, all I do, and where I have come from...I mean when I think of what I was back then, I mean I could go into some pretty horrible detail but I wont...but on the whole...I was not a nice person, I was ugly to my friends...it was all about me...my way, what I want, how I want it, when I want it...and the thing is, that I was so blind to it all until I allowed God to show me and help me learn differently...now I do not desire to be that way any longer...now that is not to say that I dont make mistakes...and I make them often...but I dont desire to be that way...I want to be different...to love others more than myself and I am learning to do just that...God has given me a huge love for others and an appreciation for myself that I never had before...but it doesnt have to be all about me anymore or what I want...now I still struggle big time with selfishness...but I am now willing to look and go...okay what I just did was selfish and I need to ask forgiveness and make it right...and I was never willing to look at myself like that before and admit I when I am wrong...it is not easy but you know it is so worth it...becuase I know the people around me are certainly blessed by the changes in me...man to think what a miserable person I was to be around...well anyway...I am just thankful...so thankful...for so many things...little things and big things...like thankful that I have a job that pays my bills and allows us to have fun...like today we had a bar-b-que lunch becuase we did a 3 million dollar month...so we all went and hung out and ate bar-b-que and had a great time...we have been goofing all day...fun...I am thankful that I actually like my haircut...see little things like that...I am thankful that I am going to get to go on a cruise with my family...I have never been on a real vacation before much less a cruise...I am thankful that Daniel called me yesterday while he was sitting in the chaise lounge in the shallow end of the pool...I am thankful for sticky notes...I am thankful for the sunshine...I could go on and on and on and on...but I guess I need to go ahead and stop and get my work done and get out of here so I can go to Jada's birthday party...Thank you Jesus for all the wonderful things in my life...but thank you most of all for your incredible love and sacrifice...I am thankful!! 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"