Friday, July 01, 2005

New Resolve - I am Thankful!

Please dear Jesus let this determination stay...I have been the laziest bum the past couple weeks...havent cleaned my house, havent been eating good, havent exercised(okay that has been way more that a couple weeks)...but today I have a new resolve to do these things...mainly to do the Atkins diet...but I know that I will not follow through with this unless I get out of this lazy spell...I do this from time to time...its a cycle with me...it is OCD for a while...then LAZY for a while...yes it drives me crazy...so I am praying(and you pray too) that this new resolve sticks...okay aside from that...I have just woke up everyday Thankful...thankful to my Lord for everything...for the place I am in, for the blessings He has given, for the things I have learned, for the people He has placed in my life, for everything...it is such an awesome place to be...I mean right now I am so thankful there are tears stinging my eyes...I just dont know what else to say except to give God ALL the glory for all I am, all I do, and where I have come from...I mean when I think of what I was back then, I mean I could go into some pretty horrible detail but I wont...but on the whole...I was not a nice person, I was ugly to my friends...it was all about me...my way, what I want, how I want it, when I want it...and the thing is, that I was so blind to it all until I allowed God to show me and help me learn differently...now I do not desire to be that way any longer...now that is not to say that I dont make mistakes...and I make them often...but I dont desire to be that way...I want to be different...to love others more than myself and I am learning to do just that...God has given me a huge love for others and an appreciation for myself that I never had before...but it doesnt have to be all about me anymore or what I want...now I still struggle big time with selfishness...but I am now willing to look and go...okay what I just did was selfish and I need to ask forgiveness and make it right...and I was never willing to look at myself like that before and admit I when I am wrong...it is not easy but you know it is so worth it...becuase I know the people around me are certainly blessed by the changes in me...man to think what a miserable person I was to be around...well anyway...I am just thankful...so thankful...for so many things...little things and big things...like thankful that I have a job that pays my bills and allows us to have fun...like today we had a bar-b-que lunch becuase we did a 3 million dollar month...so we all went and hung out and ate bar-b-que and had a great time...we have been goofing all day...fun...I am thankful that I actually like my haircut...see little things like that...I am thankful that I am going to get to go on a cruise with my family...I have never been on a real vacation before much less a cruise...I am thankful that Daniel called me yesterday while he was sitting in the chaise lounge in the shallow end of the pool...I am thankful for sticky notes...I am thankful for the sunshine...I could go on and on and on and on...but I guess I need to go ahead and stop and get my work done and get out of here so I can go to Jada's birthday party...Thank you Jesus for all the wonderful things in my life...but thank you most of all for your incredible love and sacrifice...I am thankful!! 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

1 comment:

The1AndOnlyDANIELLE! said...

Hey Hey! My new xanga is dani_yell_a....so im not gonna use my old one. But I hope your diet goes great! When Im a bum I feel icky! Well Im trying to pack but it isnt really happening! But Ill see ya later gator!