Struggle

I am struggling...

It barely feels like Christmas and it's two days away...

I am struggling to find the Christmas feeling so far away from family and friends and all the parties, activities, plans, and shopping.

I miss home and our family and friends. I miss being so surrounded with everyone who loves us!

I just can't wait for the day we get back home!!! I am ready to be there!! I know the trip home will be too short but I am thankful for every little second we will once again be surrounded by those we love and who love us!!!

I wish I wasn't struggling so much but this is the place that I am in.

Even with the struggle I know the reason for the season...I am more thankful than EVER for Jesus in our lives. We would not make it without Him. I am so very excited to spend our lives serving Him. I am praying that we do that better and better every year. I know I have much much much to improve on!!!

I am looking forward to January. To the ending of this year and the beginning of another. Who knows what lies ahead in 2011!!

Father, Thank You for You and for sending Your Son to die for our sins and to make a way to have relationship with You. You are truly amazing and I am so Thankful for You in our lives. I give you all the days left in this year and I give all the days for the rest of our lives. May we serve YOU all the days of our lives!!! In Jesus name. Amen.

A new obsession

HOUNDSTOOTH

I have loved houndstooth for a while but it has become somewhat of an obsession. I just think it is so classy and classic! If I had money I would have a lot of it around!! Here are a few of my current loves...

Ok so who wouldn't love houndstooth nails...so classy

I would love to find bedding for our bed preferably just sheets

Love these...

Love Love Love This!!

Love this!! It's a MUST have!

Yep love these!!

These are on my list of things to get SOON!!! Love them!

These are so classy...love them!

Our tree next year is going in this direction...can't wait!!!

So a peek into my new obsession...and this post just proved that I am indeed obsessed!!

Amazed

I am continually amazed by my INCREDIBLE HEAVENLY FATHER!!

As the semester draws to an end and stress is released from me as each exam is done I find myself reflecting on the past several month. It is with complete awe in my Heavenly Father!! I am blown away!!

>I have just about completed (only one more exam to go on Monday) my FIRST SEMESTER IN BIBLE COLLEGE!!

>I have not completely failed...in fact I have done QUITE WELL...in all of my classes!! God has been SO FAITHFUL TO HELP ME THROUGH!!

>I have learned so much about my God, myself, my husband, and academically!! It is truly incredible!!

>I have successfully transitioned into living in a brand new place, with brand new people, and brand new EVERYTHING!! And we are doing really great!!

>This truly has been one of the most incredible years!!

So here I sit in AWE of my Heavenly Father and all of the Incredible things He has done, IS DOING, and I know that He has SO much more in store!!!

Wow I am blown away and excited and happy and in awe and thankful and BLESSED!!

Now to ACE my last final and bring up that darn C and then to RELAX and enjoy our Christmas as best we can without family. I plan to ready some fun books, gaze at our Christmas tree, snuggle with my hubby, clean, RELAX, pack for home, sleep late, work happily, snuggle with our Tater kitty, bake some cookies, pray for our loved ones, dream about the future, plan for next semester, long to be home, did I mention gazing at our Christmas tree...I JUST LOVE LOVE LOVE IT'S GLOW IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY, think about our Lord Jesus and His amazing birth and purpose, pray for our new adventures into ministry at the beginning of the year, head home for ten blissful days to love love love on our families, sing, watch Hallmark Christmas movies, maybe even go to the movies, cut my hair!!!, hold my hubby's hand, drink hot chocolate, wear pj's often (I get to wear them to work today and tomorrow for a promotion WOOT WOOT!!!)...ah I am excited for the break!!!!!

FATHER GOD YOU ARE SO GOOD TO US AND YOU BLOW ME AWAY OFTEN. THANK YOU FOR LOVING US AND FOR BEING LORD OF OUR LIVES. THANK YOU FOR LEADING US HERE AND PROVIDING ALL THAT WE NEED AND MORE. I LOVE YOU AND TRUST YOU AND CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU HAVE IN STORE FOR THE NEW YEAR AND NEW SEMESTER!!!! THANK YOU HEAVENLY FATHER. IN JESUS NAME. AMEN.

Not your "Typical" I'm Thankful for list..

Saw this on another blog (McMommy) and wanted to give it a whirl...

1) Jim Carrey in The Grinch!

2) Silly Dancing and those who are brave enough to do it in the middle of Old Navy so I don't have to and so we can be entertained while working!!

3) My wonderful iPhone!

4) Frosted Windows - so dreamy!

5) My awesome rain boots that helped me trek through the ice/snow/frozen slush while taking pics today. (YEP IT SNOWED ON THANKSGIVING HERE!! OUR FIRST THANKSGIVING IN MO!!!)

6)Chapstick as my lips stay incredible chapped these days

7)Hot Chocolate!

Ok now for a more serious Thankful list:

1)Amazing Heavenly Father

2)Amazing Husband

3)Loving and Supportive Family and Friends

4)Our Job

5)The school Semester is coming to an end

6)Salvation, Forgiveness, Faith, Love, Hope, & Joy

We have had a great Thanksgiving Day full of Joy, Fun, Food, Ice/Snow, and Love...Thank YOU Heavenly Father for all of it!

2010 Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving & Holidays in general will be drastically different for us this year as we will be here in Missouri far from home, family, and friends.

There are many emotions that come along with this. I know this is where we are supposed to be and that it takes sacrifice and that we will get to see our family and friends shortly after the holidays. But the thought of not seeing our family on the holidays is very saddening. I see all around us those who are excited about this time of year because they are getting to spend time with their families and be apart of their life long traditions and it makes it a bit harder for me.

However, I have given it over to God. I know this is where we are supposed to be and that it helps us to appreciate our times with families so much more. So when the day comes that we get to head home a few days after Christmas I will be beyond excited!! I have not seen my mom in over 6 months and I have never been this far away or spent this much time away from her.

I am excited that we will get to spend Thanksgiving Day with my brother Daniel. I am glad that we are here so that he is not alone on the holiday. I am also excited to have Christmas morning to ourselves this year as well. I think we will definitely be making that a tradition when we have children! (Which will be in a few years after we graduate!!)

So our Thanksgiving this year will consist of:

Thanksgiving Day:

Work from 6am-11am

Thanksgiving meal with Daniel (Turkey & Dressing from Cracker Barrel, Mac & Cheese, Green bean casserole, & I am not sure what else yet)

Work from 8pm-6am Friday morning

Black Friday:

Get off work at 6am

Sleep

Chili/Iron Bowl Game @ 1:00 with Daniel and his girlfriend Chelsea

Back to work @ 11pm-7am Saturday morning

Saturday:

Get off work at 7am

Sleep & Relax the rest of the day

Maybe the Harry Potter movie & some School work!!

Sunday:

Worship service

Nap

Youth service

Back to school on Monday...ugh!! I am so so so ready for this semester to be DONE!!!

So that is our Thanksgiving this year. It will be different but it is where we are at and I really am okay about it!!

You know life changes, it doesn't stay the same, and God has us right where He wants us and that is the most incredible, Peaceful feeling.

Thank You Father for our lives that are submitted to You, Thank you for providing all things for us!! We love you and are most Thankful for YOU!!

Our life these days..

Work work and more work...

We are both working at Old Navy and next week (Thanksgiving week) we both are scheduled to work around 40 hours and many of those will be over night hours. It should be an interesting week!!!

Studying...the semester is nearing it's end...PRAISE THE LORD!!! However, with the end of a semester comes lots of projects, papers, and reading to finish as well as lots of studying for exams. I honestly have no idea how I am going to find time to get everything done!! I cannot wait for Christmas break!!! I am looking forward to next semester thought because I should have less reading to complete!!

Church...we have made steps to become more involved and I think it makes both of us feel much better. We have turned in our forms for joining the Children's Ministry team for January, Hubby has been asked to be on the security team, and we went to our first youth service tonight. We do not plan to over commit, we know our limitations, unfortunately work will limit us the most, but it sure does feel good to be getting involved again. We do not do well to just sit on the pew. Although we have truly enjoyed this time of rest and being in the Word together in the sanctuary!!

We had a visit from my parents and two precious youth girls from our home church (Tay & Val) last weekend and that was really really wonderful!! It was so wonderful to be surrounded by those who love us!! It has been around six months since we have been surrounded by people who loves us. We will get to see Hubby's dad and family in a few weekend as we travel a few hours south to Tennessee to attend his cousin's wedding. It will be so good to see them, I know it have been really hard for Hubby not to get to see his dad!! We can't wait to get home around New Year's to see all of our family and friends too!!! The time is getting closer and the closer it gets the more excited I get!! It will be completely refreshing and rejuvenating for us I know!!

I am ready to get the house decorated for Christmas but Hubby wants to wait until after Thanksgiving. So I am honoring that and waiting patiently. That will be our tradition to put up Christmas the day or weekend after Thanksgiving!! The holidays will be hard for us this year, being away from our families will be truly tough, the many hours at work will however help to keep our minds off of it!! I do feel sad though that Neesie and Mom both will have no children home for Thanksgiving. I know that will be very difficult for them. I am praying that not only will God cover our hearts during the holidays aways but that He will also cover their hearts and all of our families hearts as we are away for the holidays!! We love and miss everyone so much and truly are excited to get home to visit!!

So I have been growing my hair out and let me just say that...IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY...I do not like having long hair it is too much work and I do not like it sitting on my neck. I cannot wait to cut it!! I hope to be able to do that soon!! I will have to post before and after pictures!

I have been drawing nearer to God again and that feels incredible!! It's all about making the time to spend with Him, in His presence and in His Word!! I just want to be consistent in that!!

I have also been spending a bit more time at the gym as well as many times that is the only way I can stay awake to read. So I go to the gym and get on the elliptical and read my school books or my bible. I am thankful for the double motivation to read and work out. I need both!! This is the heaviest I have ever been and it truly is getting very out of control, I need to get a handle on it now before I have to get myself on the biggest loser show to lose weight!! I do not want to see the scale at 200lbs and I am too close to that for comfort!! Speaking of comfort, nothing is comfortable at this weight except pj's and lounge wear!! And none of my dressier clothes fit so I live in jeans and t-shirts while out and pj's while at home. I know my sweet hubby gets tired of seeing the sloppy loungy me!! So I need to loose weight so that I can fit into some of my nicer outfits!!!

That is all of the catching up I have for now. I am going to go and snuggle with my Hubby and watch Narnia Prince Caspian.

Likes/Dislikes

Current Likes:

~The weekend with my family

~Coffee

~My fleece sweatpants and over sized hoodie

~The way my hubby looks at me with such love

~Christmas music

~Christmas decorations going up around town

Current Dislikes:

~My weight

~My lack of clothes that fit

~The way I look in pictures

~Wearing anything other than my fleece sweatpants and over sized hoodie

~ My hair

Update

Completely and utterly enjoying our time with my parents. So So Thankful for them, their love for us, and their support of us!!!

Reminders

These are a few things that I have been reminded of recently.

Some of these reminders came through amazing Godly women who I am so blessed to have as my friends and some came from God himself:

>God has us where we are to replenish us.

>I do not have to be that strong leader just now.

>"look at all of these moments and feelings as sandpaper. Friction that is hard and uncomfortable, but will smooth away something unpleasant and make it into something beautiful"

>Return to that place of depth with God

>Quality and not Quantity

>I am prayed for

>I am Safe

>I am not alone in these things

Thank you Father.

Things I am excited about

* TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA TONIGHT!!

* ITALIAN FOOD TONIGHT!!

* PARENTS VISITING NEXT WEEKEND!

* SWEET GIRLS VISITING NEXT WEEKEND AS WELL!

* GETTING TO TALK TO FRIENDS!

* FEELING BETTER!

* TSO TONIGHT!!!

* WORKING WITH MY HUBBY AGAIN!

* GETTING TO SPEND THE WEEKEND WITH MY PARENTS!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THEM!!!

* WORKING IN CHILDREN'S CHURCH AGAIN STARTING IN JANUARY!!

* THAT JESUS IS MY BEST FRIEND (even when I do not treat him that way - BOO ME!!)

My eyes are opening

I so understand why God wanted me to come to college. My eyes are being opened to so many things that have changed me and will change our ministry!!

I am excited to be here.

God is good...All of the time.

Reflections..

of a HAPPILY MARRIED WOMAN...

I HAVE A HUSBAND WHO DOES WHATEVER IT TAKES

LAUNDRY, DISHES (he is at the sink scrubbing dishes as we speak), GRILLING IN THE RAIN, WORKING WHATEVER SHIFTS ARE AVAILABLE TO HIM (even when he is exhausted or it takes him away from me after we haven't seen each other much), TAKING CARE OF OUR KITTY, TAKING CARE OF OUR CAR, STAYING UP ALL NIGHT TO MAKE SURE I GET UP INSANELY EARLY FOR WORK, HAVING LUNCH READY WHEN I GET HOME FROM SCHOOL, PRAYING FOR OUR FAMILY, HOLDING MY HAND, AND MANY MANY MANY MORE THINGS THAT ARE TOO MANY TO LIST.

I AM BLESSED. SO VERY VERY BLESSED. I AM BLOWN AWAY WITH THE MAN THAT GOD CHOOSE FOR ME. BLOWN AWAY. IT IS SUCH A CONFIRMATION OF GOD'S LOVE FOR ME, THAT HE WOULD BLESS ME SO MUCH WITH THIS INCREDIBLE MAN.

We just passed our One Year mark. I cannot believe that we have been married a year already. The year passed in the blink of an eye it seems. I remember getting engaged, planning the wedding, getting married, our honeymoon, getting to live together, planning our move, moving, adjusting, new home, new jobs, new EVERYTHING, starting school, and poof more than a year has passed in the blink of an eye.

God provided us the opportunity to attend a couples retreat with our church the weekend of our anniversary. It was an incredible time of being together, growing together, learning together, playing together, praying together, worshiping together, and being challenged together. We were at a beautiful place with a Beautiful Heavenly Father, and great leaders loving on great couples.

Our anniversary day was a real and simple day. It was who we are and where we are at. It was perfect. I woke up to find...TICKETS TO THE TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA!!!! I have been wanting to go for so long and I can't wait!! (We go in a couple weeks!) I woke my sweet hubby up with lots of excitement and thank yous and subtle hints that his gift was right beside him. (Hints he was too sleepy to pick up on right away, lol) I gave him an Alabama watch, he liked it a lot! We got up for church but missed it because I couldn't find anything that fit (that was the REAL part ha ha), we made hamburger helper for lunch, then we got dressed and went to the Botanical Gardens in town to walk around and take a few pics (this was a gift to me as hubby really isn't a big fan of pics - he was a great sport!!), we then went out to dinner at Ruby Tuesday with a buy one get one free coupon (this is where we are and I love that this was our dinner on our first anniversary and we used a coupon! Love it!!), then we headed to the bowling ally for cheap bowling night. We did not bowl well but we had a good time and tried hard! We then came home to eat the top of our wedding cake. Which was quite good actually! I had three pieces and hubby had two!! It was THE PERFECT DAY!

Our first year of marriage was chock full of wonderful memories and some tough times. We married, moved, and became college students. We have grown so much as husband and wife, and as friends to one another. We have made adjustments, we have cried tears of joy, sorrow, frustration, and hope. We have prayed, and sought the face of the Lord, we have believed and trusted. We have held hands, held each other, missed our families and friends, and loved each other through it all. We have learned to love, support, and encourage one another and to put the other first. We have learned better how to love one another!! We have learned likes and dislikes and what tough moments look like as well as what blissful moments look like.

I would say that this first year of marriage has created in me a greater love for my wonderful and Faithful Heavenly Father and a deeper faith in my Jesus, a greater love and appreciation for my amazing and wonderful husband, and a greater love and appreciation for our families and friends whom we miss so very much!!

Our wedding day still stands as one of the most amazing days of my life. That is the happiest and at peace I can ever remember feelings. With our families and friends surrounding and loving on us and making a vow to love each other forever with God as our Center always!! A truly beautiful and perfect day!!! We are still beyond thankful and blown away by how everyone came together to make the day exactly what it was...Perfect and wonderful!! We truly miss our friends and families more than words can express and can't wait to get home to see everyone!!!

We cannot wait for what God has in store for us in this next year. We expect wonderful things!!!

Here's to FOREVER with MY FOREVER!!

I love you my Mr. Wonderful, My Forever, My Hubby, with all of my heart and I thank God for you every single day!!!! I am proud to be your wife and have you as my husband!! I couldn't have imagined it better than this!!! Thank you for being such an incredible man of God, thank you for loving God and seeking after Him and being willing to follow His will, thank you for doing whatever it takes, thank you for loving me, and thank you for being my best friend!!! I am so proud of you and so thankful for you!!

Thank you Heavenly Father for the amazing man that you choose for me and share with me. Thank you for Your faithfulness, forgiveness, and love. Thank you for seeing us through the hard times and the wonderful times. Thank you for being by our sides every second of every day. Thank you for challenging us to be better. Thank you for being You and for teaching us!!! We love you with all of our hearts and cannot wait to see what you have in store for us. We trust you and believe in You and we serve You!!! In Jesus name. Amen.

Always Faithful..

When we were lost...You were faithful

When we were single....You were faithful

When we began dating...You were faithful

When we were both laid off...You were faithful

When we needed new jobs...You were faithful

When we needed to buy a ring...You were faithful

When we had a wedding to pay for...You were faithful

When we had a big move to pay for and get through...You were faithful

When we had school to pay for...You were faithful

When we had books to buy...You were faithful

When we were broken in Spirit...You were faithful

When we were exhausted...You were faithful

When we were homesick...You were faithful

When we were stressed...You were faithful

Sometimes I just need to remember the many ways in which YOU ARE FAITHFUL Father!

Thank You for your faithfulness. Thank You that no matter how desperate I feel in the moment of crisis, it is only a mere moment and the moment ALWAYS passes and YOU ARE ALWAYS FAITHFUL.

Help me to remember that so that the MOMENTS are filled with FAITH instead of worry and anxiety. Fill our home precious Jesus with your Peace I pray. Fill our hearts with Your Peace I pray. Fill our lives with your Faith I pray. Always.

In Jesus precious precious name I pray. Amen.

Moving Forward...

Moving Forward

They sang this song in church this morning (Praise Assembly in MO) and I had such an emotional reaction to it.

First: It made me miss our home church (New Life AL) so much as this song was an anthem for our church for a while. As we sang it was hard to once again realize that we must move forward from our wonderful home church. Yes we will most certainly go back to visit, but it will be different.

Second: It made me think about how badly I do want to move forward. Move forward into a new year with my husband and for us to grow more and more every year. Move forward in school and toward the life that You, Father God, have called us to. As we approach our One Year Anniversary I cannot help but be emotional as I think about how Faithful God is and where we are now compared to where we began.

Several lines in the song just touch on where we are and what God is up to...

What a moment you have brought us to:

Springfield, Missouri from Columbiana, Alabama = Wow!

Full-time College students from Full-time workers = Wow!

One year of MARRIAGE = From Years of being single = Wow!

You have given us a second chance:

Wow! We were both lost. Very lost and you gave us second chances. Here we are literally following Jesus in Springfield. It was not easy to give our sins and old lives of darkness over to You Jesus and there are moments when it is not easy to continually give our lives over to you. But you have given us a second chance (and many other chances as well)! How faithful you are precious Jesus, Abba Father!

Surrender our lives to Christ...Moving moving forward:

We have surrendered our life to you Christ and we will keep moving forward!

Keep moving forward when we are exhausted, tired, stressed, scared, when we wanna just throw our hands up and give up because that just seems easier. We will keep moving forward, following you, growing in you, desiring more of you, applying your Word to our lives and allowing it to change us, we will move forward into the life that You have called us to, even if we are doing it alone.

All things are made new:

You made us new when we surrendered our lives to You Jesus and I am so very thankful for that. You continually make us new as we grow in you and allow your Word to change us and mold us into Your image!!

Change also makes things new, new city, new people, new church, new routine.

Change is not an easy thing but we will keep persevering so that our lives will indeed be DIFFERENT and be a Testament of YOUR LOVE JESUS!

I needed this emotional reaction today. And the encouragement from another Children's Pastor that followed this afternoon. To be re-fueled to KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!

It is so beautiful to me that our Heavenly Father brings encouragement even when we didn't know we needed it!!

Father, You are so beautiful and loving and faithful!! I praise You for who you are!!! You are so beautiful and wonderful and I am so thankful to be a part of your kingdom and to get to do kingdom work. Right now I understand that for the most part that work is to STUDY and to gain all the knowledge that I possibly can so that you can use me in greater ways to touch the lives of your precious children in the near future. Father you are indeed amazing!!! Thank you for our second chance in this life to love you and serve you. Father I pray that YOUR Truth will sink deeper and deeper into our hearts and lives and be evident in all we do for the rest of our lives. Father I thank you for pushing us forward even when it is so incredibly hard. I thank you for sending encouragement at just the right times!! I thank you Father because you are wonderful and Holy and Worthy and I praise you tonight with all of my heart!! Thank you for Your Word!! May we have such a strong love and desire for your Word and may it transform our entire beings and lives forever. Thank you Father for bringing us together to walk this journey together with You. Lead us and guide us and change us and speak to our hearts and let us dear Father be all that you created us to be. In Jesus' precious name I pray. Amen.

Love

Crazy Life

Things are a bit crazy right now. With exams and papers due!

Good New thought...after Thursday I will be able to breathe again!!!

Even Better news...Friday after my two classes my Wonderful Hubby and I are leaving for our...ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TRIP!!!!

We are going to the lake for the weekend for a Couple's Retreat with our church. I am excited to be away with my Husband for the weekend without Books, Notebooks, or Old Navy. Without interruptions or distractions. To reflect on our year together and on our Future!!!! Then we will spend our Anniversary day together, taking some pictures and just being together, and of course eating our Wedding Cake!!!

I can't believe it has been a year already!! The time has gone by so fast!!! It is really shocking!!

I'll try to work on a post about our year but my brain is exhausted these days!!

Study time!

Weekend Review:

After looking back on my blog posts of previous years I have decided that I like weekend reviews.

Friday:

I had classes from 7:30 to 9:30

We spent the afternoon running a few errands and then went to do a little bargain/window shopping. It was a sweet afternoon of holding hands and just appreciating the time together. Then I had to be at work by 2:30 and worked until 11:00.

When I got home Hubby had rented a movie that he thought I would like.

We ended up getting distracted by working on my spring class schedule so we started the movie late and I ended up falling asleep. I'm such an old lady.

Saturday:

I had to work from 8:30 to 2:45

Hubby had to work from 12:00 to 4:00 and then again from 6:00 to close (well after midnight). He ended up coming home for a bit between shifts. It was nice to be home together for a bit.

I spend the rest of the day relaxing under my electric blanket. Worked some on my Blind Project paper, watched the BAMA game and watched the move I slept through Friday night.

Sunday:

Had a wonderful time in God's presence at church. Had a very powerful time of communion.

Then home to eat my hubby's amazing chili and watch some football and relax and nap!

My brother came over and spent the whole day with me. It was really really nice to get to spend time with him and get to catch up!!! It was THE PERFECT DAY!! I even got half of my paper written!!!

Love

Weekly Facebook Status Update...

Sunday: "3 hour blind project begins...NOW!"

Monday: "Ate a superb steak dinner @ the dinning room table with my wonderful hubby! Now to study study before hubby's softball game! It has been a very nice day!"

Tuesday: "The devil is a butthole!"

Wednesday: "Thankful for LIFE today! Jesus paid your ransom, how are you honoring that today?"

Thursday: "Just had an attacker drill at school...NOONE in our class yelled SPARTANS & our attacker never had a chance! We were informed & ready though!"

Friday: "It's OCTOBER!!! My favorite month of the whole year!!! Fall & our Anniversary!! Wow how quickly time has gone!!!"

Saturday: "Why yes, yes Tater and I are snuggled up under my electric blanket on this lovely FALL day!!"

OCTOBER!!!

It's here!! My favorite month!!!

I love this month it has always been my favorite month. It begins Fall and the temp drops and there are pumpkins and fall leaves, and pumpkin spice latte's and sweaters, and now it also hold our wedding anniversary. A great month indeed!!

Our October will be filled with studying, hopefully a pumpkin patch, chili, exams, work, football of course, walks in the park holding hands, a couples retreat, hopefully a visit from my parents!!!!!, hoodies, warm socks, snuggling on the sofa, chili, pumpkins, wedding cake, remembering our wedding, and just Life's chaos.

I was looking back today and realized that each year holds its own kind of chaos. That is just life.

Last year was wedding chaos, this year has been moving, adjusting, school, and balance chaos. Next year it will be something different.

THIS IS LIFE. THIS IS LIFE.

In all of these things there is JESUS AND HIS LOVE AND FORGIVENESS, GRACE AND MERCY, there is LOVE AND HOPE AND STRIVING TO BE BETTER, there is LAUGHTER AND JOY, TEARS AND STRIFE, there is LIFE.

Father Thank You for this LIFE. Thank you for YOUR FAITHFULNESS AND PROVISION. Thank you for who you are and who you are in our lives!! Thank YOU for this year!!!

HAPPY OCTOBER YALL!!!!

Saturday Randoms

>I like working mornings rather than nights on Saturdays.

>I love fall Saturdays with family at the house for football.

>God directly answered a prayer for me today at work: I needed an ONC (to get a customer to apply for an Old Navy Credit card) and said a quick prayer and a lady walked up to the counter and asked ME if she could apply for one.

>I have some pretty major struggles in my life right now

>I'm not a fan of study guides yet

>I love when my hubby grill's, it smells divine

>I love when we can open the glass door and Tater sits and just stares out, he's so cute

>I love my new iPhone

>I love the few Fall decorations I have, they make me happy

>I was just informed that Kraft Mac and Cheese is indeed a vegetable

>I still love my engagement ring but really want a new wedding band, I did not pick out one I love. I'm hoping to get a new one for our fifth anniversary.

>Our one year anniversary is coming up soon and I am very excited. We are going on a couples retreat with our church and then we will be at home the day of our anniversary to spend it together.

Headed for a breakdown...

I saw it coming...

I knew I was headed for a break down...

Exhaustion, Missing peeps back home, Exhaustion, Stress...

I didn't have a big break down more like several small ones...

Sunday at our church's Family Day...

Monday at home...

Wednesday night at home...

Thursday morning just after leaving BioLife after being told that I cannot donate anymore because of a spot on my EYE...

So Today, Thursday I decided to crawl back into bed and sleep...I feel some better...but I still feel tired, exhausted, and completely unmotivated...

I was very unmotivated at work yesterday and really do not need another day at work like that, so I am hoping that by the time I get there I will have pepped up some.

This is a tough season. A good one, but a tough one. I know that it will get easier and better but before that I know it is going to get worse and harder as I have many exams and assignments coming up due.

Right now I am just looking forward to Saturday at 4:30 when I am off work for a few days and can hopefully spend time studying and relaxing as well.

Well I must go and get my unmotivated self to work for the evening.

Things that are exciting to think about..

Fall

One Year Anniversary

Couples Retreat for our One Year Anniversary

New iPhone

New Scooter

Fridays

Getting to go home again one day

Future Children

Future Children's names

Buying a house one day

Renting a house next spring (hopefully)

Hand in hand walks with my Hubby

Future Ministry

Life

College

Family

Friends

Big Announcement...

It's Official...

I have made a change...

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ROLL TIDE!

Yes, it's true. After much consideration I have decided to be a BAMA fan with my hubby. It's biblical really. The Bible encourages us to love what God loves because we love God. Same basic principle...I love Alabama football because my Hubby loves it so much. I think it will be a fun family tradition and fun to be fans together. I had no real basis for being an Auburn fan, I just picked one when I was in high school for no other reason than I like Auburn's colors.

So there it is I am officially a Bama fan. I know I'll be deemed a traitor. It does not mean that I don't love my dear Auburn fans GREATLY and I still like Auburn but I have developed a love for Alabama football through my Hubby's love for it.

So...Roll Tide!

Rain.

God is so good and is just doing so much in me lately. Through the hustle and bustle of life God is so sweet and so good and so faithful.

I stand in absolute awe of all He is and all He is doing.

Just drawing me closer and teaching me and showing me new things. Through my classes and chapel and the relationships I have.

Really it all boils down to...I want more of Jesus and I want to be more like Jesus and I want to take full advantage of this time of preparation. I desire to be a sponge and soak EVERYTHING up. I know that this time in our lives will go all too quickly and before we know it we will be looking back and wondering just where the time went.

We feel that way now as we look back over this last year...YEAR...yes it has already been a year...of marriage. We are so surprised at how quickly the time passed. We are also just amazed at all that God has done in this first year of our marriage. It has truly been a wonderful year. There have been some hard moments but mostly it has been truly wonderful.

As we get ready to take on another year I can't help but be excited to see what God has in store for us. I just want to continue to be in His will and to seek Him and to run after Him with all that we are and I know that as we do that everything else will be added to us.

All I can really say is GOD IS SO GOOD. He gets the glory for all of this. We would NOT be where we are today without HIM!! God is Faithful and caring and loving and forgiving and I am so Thankful to be called a child of God.

So as the rain pours down outside, God's rain is pouring out in me and I am soaking it up!!

Father let it rain and may I receive all that you have for me and may I be a good steward of all that you give. Work as only YOU can work and Thank YOU for the work you are doing and have already done. I Jesus' precious name. Amen.

Almost Fall Picture Update...

These pictures are in no order thanks to how much blogger stinks when adding pictures...

Tater got to go outside with Daddy.

He was wild eyed.

Sniffing around on the balcony.

What I'm studying.

He wanted to go outside so bad.

Daddy peeaaassseee pick me up.

Gettin some Daddy lovin.

My boys.

Our lil family.

Football season is here.

My Alabama man!

Back to football shirt for work.

My brother and me.

Me with my glasses on. I have really needed them with all of the reading lately.

My precious boys. I love them.

We love the weather lately and love that football season has started. Fall is well on it's way.

We had the most relaxing Labor Day! It was much much needed!!

TODAY.

IT FEELS LIKE FALL.

IT'S PERFECT OUTSIDE.

I AM EXHAUSTED COMPLETELY.

I AM EXCITED ABOUT FALL AND FOOTBALL AND A LONG WEEKEND.

I AM ON MY BALCONY IN MY NEW PURPLE HOODIE.

I AM THANKFUL FOR THE INCREDIBLE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.

I AM PRAYING I DO NOT HAVE TO WORK TONIGHT.

I AM ABOUT TO SPEND A LITTLE TIME WITH MY HEAVENLY FATHER.

I AM DRINKING HOT TEA.

I WOKE UP WITH CRAMPS IN MY CALVES.

MY HAIR IS STRAIGHT.

I HAVEN'T SHOWERED YET AND IT IS ONE IN THE AFTERNOON.

I SMELL SOMEONE PREPARING TO COOK OUT.

IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL AND MY HUBBY IS SO VERY EXCITED WHICH MAKES ME SO VERY EXCITED FOR HIM.

I LOVE THE WIND ACROSS MY FACE AND THE BRIGHT BLUE OF THE SKY.

I AM AT PEACE.

I AM IN LOVE.

I AM HAPPY.

I AM TIRED.

I AM GLAD.

I AM NOSTALGIC. WHICH IS WHAT FALL DOES TO ME.

I WANT TO SOAK IT ALL UP.

I AM EXCITED ABOUT HAVING ALL THE BOYS OVER AND COOKING OUT MONDAY EVENING.

I AM BLESSED.

I AM REMINDED THAT WHAT I DON'T HAVE IS MUCH LESS THAN WHAT I DO HAVE. THANKS MAX LUCADO.

I AM EXCITED ABOUT THE PRESENT. EXCITED ABOUT THE FUTURE TOO BUT FOR ONCE I AM NOT TRYING TO PUSH THROUGH NOW TO GET TO THEN. JUST ENJOYING THE NOW AND PUTTING EVERYTHING I AM INTO THAT.

I STILL LOVE MY WEDDING RINGS. MY HUBBY DID SUCH A WONDERFUL JOB AND I TREASURE HIS GIFTS TO ME AND THE MEANING BEHIND IT ALL.

I REMEMBER MY VOW AND HOW MUCH I MEAN THEM STILL AND HOW I WANT TO HONOR THEM ALL OF THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES.

NEXT MONTH WILL BE OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. WOW HOW QUICKLY THIS YEAR HAS GONE BY.

I STILL KNOW THAT MY HUSBAND WAS WORTH WAITING FOR AND I AM SO THANKFUL TO GOD THAT I DID NOT SETTLE. EVEN THOUGH I HAD A DIFFERENT PLAN FOR MY LIFE GOD KNEW EXACTLY WHAT WAS BEST AND I AM THANKFUL THAT HE KNOWS BETTER THAN I. I COULD NOT HAVE DREAMED THIS IS WHERE WE WOULD BE AND WHAT WE WOULD BE DOING AND THE DIRECTION MY LIFE WOULD BE GOING IN BUT I KNOW IT IS EXACTLY AS IT SHOULD BE. WE ARE IN GOD'S WILL AND THOUGH TIMES ARE TOUGH SOMETIMES GOD IS FAITHFUL AND I AM SO VERY THANKFUL FOR OUR FAITHFUL GOD AND THAT HE SHARES US WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS JOURNEY.

NOW FOR TIME IN THE WORD AND INTIMATE TIME WITH MY INCREDIBLE HEAVENLY FATHER.

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF FOOTBALL TO YOU ALL. AND HAPPY I LOVE THAT IT FEELS LIKE FALL TO ME!! OH I AM JUST LOVING THIS WEATHER AND THIS CONTENTMENT AND PEACE THAT FILLS ME. I LOVE YOU JESUS.

Phew

Looking forward to Friday!! The weeks are slammed full. We literally run from one thing to the next with very little down time in between. Tuesdays and Thursdays we go to donate plasma at 6:00am then I drop hubby off at work and head to school. Get out of school and pick hubby off at work. He drops me off at work and goes to school and then he picks me back up from work when I get off around ten. Busy Busy. I at least get Saturday mornings off and Sundays and Mondays off. And this Monday I am OFF ALL DAY!!! Thank you Jesus for Labor Day and for Monday's being my off days!! Woot Woot!!!

So even though it is just Tuesday I am ready for Friday to be done and over with!! But at the same time I had a really good time at school and work today and I am so thankful for all of this. School, work, being able to donate plasma for extra money and to help people. Just so many things to be thankful for and so many blessings!

Well that's all for now it is WAY past my bedtime!!! Night night world.

Weekend Review:

We were ready ready ready for the weekend...

Friday night:

*we both worked until 10

*went home and changed

*went to eat at Ziggy's

*home to veg

Saturday:

*slept in until 10

*relaxed

*hubby worked 11-3

*I vegged some, cleaned some, & got ready for work

*Hubby picked me up and took me to work

*I worked 4-10

*Hubby worked 5-10

*then we came home and I did a bit of studying before bed

Sunday:

*We ended up oversleeping and missed church

*We relaxed a bit and I did more psychology

*We headed to the library to get some things done and study study study

*Hubby had to go into work :(

*I Spent a wonderful evening with my new friend Holly getting to know each other and eating yummy spaghetti

*Hubby went to library to finish homework

*We relaxed and I studied some more

That is our weekend review.

Looking forward to a great week ahead. Busy Busy Busy Busy. Lots to do!!

So can't believe I'm admitting to this...

Apparently I really AM a Fainter.

The first episode happened while running in April in the early AM. I passed out cold and continued to pass out over and over. Hubby took me to the hospital and all my tests came back normal so the next day I went to the cardiologist who told me I am a Fainter. WHAT??? NO MA'AM I SURE AM NOT. THAT IS RIDICULOUS.

Since then I have continued to believe it is RIDICULOUS and even after admitting it is true I still fell like it is Ridiculous.

This is how the cardiologist explained it...

When an episode is triggered all the blood flows out of my heart and into my "gut". Which of course causes me to pass out. When I lay down the blood slowly is able to return to my heart. But if I stand up right away the same thing will happen again. When I feel this happening I am to lay down and squeeze my butt cheeks, which accelerates the blood returning to my heart.

I do not know what the trigger was the first time it happened in April (there might have been one time before that in Khols over two years ago where I collapsed to the floor so that may have technically been the first episode...ugh...ridiculous!!) but I do know the trigger of my latest episode.

Donating Plasma and then doing anything other than simply walking. I mean just coming up the stairs to my apartment warrants some time resting.

So on to what happened today...It was quite a busy day...let me give you the complete run down.

Class at 7:30, 8:30, 9:30 all in the same classroom but with two different professors. Chapel at 10:30. Then I leave school and head home for less than an hour before heading to pick up my hubby from work. Bring him home and while he is taking a super quick shower I make him a sandwich. We then rush out the door and I drop him off at his class and head to donate plasma.

Donating plasma has been a wonderful way to give back to the community and make a little extra money as well. Donating was very unpleasant today. I had not drank enough water so it was a bit painful and VERY VERY SLOW. If you drink a lot of water it makes the whole process run much much smoother and faster.

So when I finally finished donating I had only about 40 minutes before I needed to clock in at work. I headed to McDonald's to grab a large water and sandwich to replenish myself after donating and had a few minutes to chill in the car before heading into work.

I was at work about 35 minutes and was working diligently on the boys denim wall at Old Navy, I had taken about two trips up the ladder with a couple stacks of denim when I started to feel funny. I sat down on the ladder to rest and regroup and this is what went down...

I immediately began to pour sweat and everything started going white. I quickly made my way to the bathroom knowing what I really needed was to lay down. I was not going to lay down in the bathroom but I was hoping sitting and putting water on my face would help. It did not. I ended up collapsing in the bathroom, but I did not pass out. I knew I needed to lay back and let the blood pump back up to my heart. I knew I had to get out of the bathroom and find somewhere to lay down for a bit. Thankfully the bathrooms are right at the fitting rooms so I picked a fitting room and closed the door and laid down.

I did begin to feel better and thought that maybe if I did not do anything else strenuous I would be alright. So I got up and went back tot he back room and got some water and then went back to the denim wall. I no more than got back to the denim wall than I felt like I was going down again. I made my way quickly back to the fitting room again as I did not want to pass out in the store or in front of anyone. I laid back down and realized I would not be able to stay at work.

I the began to realized the timing and process of what was happening...I can't stand up for more than 10 minutes before I begin to feel "woozy" from that point I have about 5 minutes before I collapse. Realizing this helps me to be able to keep from making a scene.

So after laying down for a bit I quickly made my way to the back room hoping to find a manager. No one was there so I grabbed my phone out of my locker and sent a text to my hubby telling him what was happening and to come get me. I knew then I had a few minutes to find the manager let them know what was happening and lay back down before collapsing. Once I found my manager at the front of the store and relayed what was happening in short version...as in I don't feel good feeling sort of faint...she said I needed to clock out before going back to the fitting room to lay back down. That was cutting my time short so I hurried back to the back room and clocked out near tears knowing we need those hours and grabbed my purse from my locker. Made my way back to the fitting room to lay back down. Got there just in time before I collapsed again.

Hubby arrived and we made quick work of walking me to the car. I almost collapsed right at the car. And because the car seat doesn't lean all the way back by the time we got home I felt faint again so getting me up the stairs was mostly my hubby holding me up by my belt loops. I sat down immediately while he unlocked the door and I felt miserable. I then laid on the couch and did not move for several hours and now am able to sit up and stand again. I have a headache and am very very tired from the episode but over all am much better.

I still feel like this is the most ridiculous thing EVER!! But at least I know the triggers and timing and I can manage it until we get good insurance again and can get this taken care of. I will probably have to take some sort of medication.

So I guess I now have to officially admit that I am a fainter...UGH...I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I HATE THIS AND HOW RIDICULOUS I THINK THIS IS!!!

I am so thankful for a hubby who rescues me when this happens and forces me to squeeze my butt cheeks and for a family that prays.

I know God will work out the missed hours!

A moment of Worship.

I will take hold of YOU.

There's no other name by which I am saved.

Capture me with grace.

I need You Jesus.

I will follow You.

I want to be captured by YOU Jesus. I want to live a life worthy of the calling that I have received.

Lord I'm Amazed by You.

How You love me.

In complete and utter Awe of You.

You sing all around...but I never hear a sound.

How wide.

How deep.

How great.

Is Your love for me.

So Faithful.

So Constant.

You see me.

You know my every move.

I know that You are For Me.

I know that you will NEVER forsake me in my weaknesses.

Thank You Father for a wonderful worshipful moment with You.