Back on top!

Wow what a roller coaster of a week...but its okay...I really feel like this week has just been growth for me...there are areas I really am working hard on...and the fact that I was attacked so badly yesterday just means I am doing something right huh...though I do not like how choleric I was yesterday...sort of a throw care out the window say whatever kind of mode...and that is dangerous for me...but last night at church was so fun and after church was just what I needed with Neesie...we had a great time...it is good to be back on top today though...I feel strong and ready to continue on...I have a craving for God and His will and His word...and I love that...I love to be hungry for Him...well something yesterday got me to thinking about being single...and I really do like it...though I cant wiat to meet my husband and start a family one day...how cool is it that I am pretty much free to do as I like...I really do like that freedom...and I think I use it for God's kingdom pretty wisely...I was aslo thinking yesterday about being real...I used to not be real...but I am all about being real lately and others being real with me...when it happens I am really glad...my thoughts are all over the place...sorry...I cant wait for Bible Quiz to start...I miss it terribly...you know I am just so happy when I am serving God...I am the most complete when God is using me to touch someone's life...which He has allowed this week a couple times...I am just so complete when that happens...and I am most happy when I am doing ministry...whatever it may be...Children's Church, Bible Quiz, Drama(about to get started again), Stars(it has been different this year than any other but I am looking forward to a new year and what it will bring- so so not looking forward to Rachel moving up though-but cant wait to see who new is coming in), praying with people, encouraging people, loving people, ministry is definately my purpose...isnt it everyone's?...maybe not the exact same way...but I would be willing to bet that most people would be most happy when they are making someone else happy by loving them, helping them, listening to them, caring for them, encouraging them, it is what we are here for...God said the greatest of these is love...its all about Him loving us, us loving Him, and through that us loving each other and others...why do we struggle with this so much...I know I do...alot...wow did that just put some things into perspective for me...I have been ugly in my thoughts toward some...ouch...I just got repremanded...that's okay...I am in the wrong...I need to forgive and move on...that is hard for me sometimes...I so just want to just continue to get better...I want to think of others before I think of myself...I want to stop living based on my feelings...I want to love people with God's love...I want to stop being on again off again...I want to always be honest...I want to always include people-all people-no matter how they have treated me...I want to just continue to grow...I want to grow closer to God...I want to spend more time with people I miss...I want to learn to balance my time better...I want to stop having lazy spells...I want to stay organized and Monkish...well to an extent...though I feel so much better when I stay on top of things...I want to exercise and do it on a regular basis and stop letting things throw me off track and it takes me weeks to get back to it...I want to spend my money more wisely...I want to be more consistent...I want to just be better...though I am thankful that I am at least where I am at...I am thankful I am not what I used to be...I am thankful that I love more than I used too...I am thankful that I am more consistent than I used to be...well okay I think today I could write forever...and its okay cause this is who I am and I am thankful for who I am...I love to write...I love to get my feelings and thoughts out on paper on typed out however...it makes me feel better and I have nothing to hide...I am just real...I am just me...I am not ashamed...guilt and shame are lies from satan...tomorrow my boss and I are going to eat ribs...I cant wait...there is this wonderful little shack right down the road that makes the best bar b que I have ever had...but we havent tried their ribs yet...tomorrow we will...I bet they will be great...this weekend we are celebrating my brother's birthday...I cant wait...I love that we celebrate birthdays as a family...I cant wait to go get him a gift...I love buying things for people...I love giving gifts...I love helping people...I love serving people...I love helping people...I love my church...I love my families...I love my friends...I love my neighbor-she takes care of my rose plant and is too sweet...I love my car-it has been a good car and I am sad that I will be trading it in within the next year or so to get something else-I want to keep it but cant afford two cars(ins, gas, tags, maint...etc)...it is a cute little car...nothing fancy...just cute and me...and it gets me to where I need...I am looking at getting a minivan or an SUV with minivan seating capabilities...my brother freaks out everytime I mention getting a minivan because I am not married...but it has nothing to do with that...I need it cause I work with the Children's Ministry and it would be so helpful to haul kids to and fro...and if some guy doesnt want to date or marry me because I have a minivan then he needs to go on about his business anyway...its a car...not important...a minivan does not have to come standard with middle age and kids either...it is practical and I have always bought practical cars...like buying my Malie over my dream car-a 68 camaro...but I am thankful I did...that is not a practical car...my Malie is a great car...Malie is short for Malibu...that's how I name my cars...well this has been a really long post and like I said earlier I could probably write forever...but I guess I will stop and move on about my day...until next time...Seeking Him!!!